Ch. 37: Action and response

He held his hand out just far enough to feel the itch in his fingers.

Gaster noted where he stood in the hall to feel the energy's reach today, it was a little farther away than it was yesterday. He had found that the distance wasn't always the same, it seemed to vary slightly from day to day. Sometimes it was a little farther and sometimes it shrunk a little, it wasn't a great change but it was enough to be noticeable once he had started coming back to check it. He had hoped that as he got healthier that his sensitivity to the soul's influence would lessen but he still felt it well before they traveled close enough for Cadis to feel it.

Gaster pulled his hand back, flexing his fingers and staring at them as the light prickling feeling slowly slid away. It reminded him of being shocked in a way, invasive foreign energy crawling through the center of his bones. It was unsettling the way the energy dug at his magic, trying to force itself underneath. But he had to know more about this, find out why he was still so sensitive to it despite the progress he had made. He had to know why the soul was reacting like this in the first place.

It was a reaction, a reaction to him. The soul hadn't always given off this strange energy. This had happened when he had woke, not when the doctor had begun experimenting on the human's bones and not when the first fragment of a soul had been planted in it. Only once he had woken. This was because of him. He had to know why.

And why did the doctor keep returning to that room? If Gaster remembered correctly the king was storing the soul until it could be used to help break the barrier, and that would likely be a very long time from now. He didn't know what the doctor could be doing in there. The doctor might be studying it but Gaster didn't know what he could be testing that he hadn't already in all the time the soul had been there. If there was a way to grow a human soul like they had done his they would have figured that out by now, wouldn't they? Maybe it had to do with the drops of red that were in his bones. If it wasn't something that was natural for monsters maybe it was something to do with humans.

Gaster had never really given much thought to what the doctor might be doing when he wasn't around before. It had always been preferable to just ignore the doctor's existence when he could, and to tolerate it when he couldn't.

"Pup why are we standin' here?"

Gaster blinked as he was pulled from his thoughts, turning to Cadis' questioning and concerned expression.

"You can feel it from here, right?"

Gaster frowned slightly as Cadis' tone edged toward frustration, 'yes.'

"Then why do we keep coming back here?"

Gaster turned his gaze back in the direction the soul would be, letting his hands make a few noncommittal gestures before answering. 'Need to know.'

Cadis let out a sigh, "what is it you need to know?"

Gaster glanced at Cadis for a moment before shifting his gaze away again. 'Do you wonder what it feels like?'

Cadis furrowed his brow, "what feels like what? You need to explain more pup, I swear you're getting as bad as Sidd."

Gaster smiled a little at that but thought for a moment to make sure his next answer would be more clear. 'The soul. What it feels like to have no body, but still be here?' The smile faded some. 'If it's awake, if it remembers or feels.' Gaster stuck his hand out, feeling the energy slide into his fingers for a moment before he took his hand back again. 'If it hurts.'

Gaster glanced toward Cadis when he didn't answer, the dog guard was looking at Gaster with a slight frown.

'Do you wonder what it would be like if that were you?'

"No, I haven't pup."

'Why not?'

"Because it's not something that could happen to me." Realization seemed to catch up with Cadis as the words left him. "Pup," Cadis placed a hand on Gaster's back, "you know we'd never let that happen right?"

Gaster let his eye-lights slip to the floor as lifted a hand to brush lightly over his chest, fingertips plucking at the fabric of his sweater. He knew that, he did. But it was still something his thoughts lingered on at times, how easily things could have happened differently.

"Pup?"

Gaster looked back up at Cadis, 'I know. I'm fine.' Gaster gave Cadis a smile until it seemed to ease his concern some. 'Just need to know.'

Cadis made an unsatisfied noise in his throat, "sometimes pup it's best to let sleeping dogs lie."

Gaster glanced away again, he didn't think he could do that. Not when he knew that it was something that could change, not when he knew that it had changed because of him. This was too important to just let it go.

Gaster stepped forward, Cadis let out a sigh as he followed after. As they traveled farther the light prickling feeling settled heavier into Gaster's bones, he tried not to tense as the itch he felt deepened. It didn't take long before he noticed Cadis shift how he was walking, the dog guard's steps growing wary as they got closer to the soul hall.

When they reached the hall Gaster walked up to the door, trying the handle after a moment even if he knew it would be locked. He pressed his head against the door, listening intently to the faint rustling sound beyond it.

Cadis shifted uneasily as he watched Gaster, "what are you doing pup?"

'Listening,' Gaster signed after a moment.

Cadis eyed the door, stepping forward to press his ear against it. Gaster shifted out of his way as he did, watching and waiting to see what Cadis would say. After a few moments Cadis pulled away shaking his head. "I don't hear anything pup."

Gaster frowned at that as he moved to listen again, the dogs had better hearing than he did but they couldn't hear this. Gaster wasn't entirely certain that what he heard was really a sound. It seemed to shift and change, like hushed sharp whispers that were barely beyond his reach. But then it was different, more like a vibration that didn't really seem to travel through objects like it should until it came to him.

Then it lingered in his bones in a way he was certain that it shouldn't.

Gaster fell forward as the door opened, barely catching himself before he fell headfirst into the doctor. He took several quick steps back once he regained his footing, returning the doctor's glare with one of his own.

"What are you doing here?" The doctor snapped, his irritated gaze sweeping between Gaster and Cadis.

Gaster shifted some, moving his gaze to try to see into the room beyond the doctor. He wasn't able to see much before Sidd walked forward to stand by the doctor's side. Cadis edged in front of Gaster a little, immediately drawing the doctor's sharp attention. "The pup can go wherever he wants."

The doctor let out a snort, "I did not expect a whelp to have any understanding of the nature of souls." Cadis let out a low growl as the doctor's gaze shifted back to Gaster, "it should not be anywhere near the human soul."

"And why is that?" Cadis' voice held a challenging edge despite his shuffle back from the doctor's heated glare.

"Do you not feel it's oppressive miasma? Do you not feel the weight of it crawling up your spine?" Cadis shifted his shoulders uneasily as the doctor gestured sharply to Gaster, "we are still attempting to make progress with dozens of unknown factors without adding another dangerously potent one that we cannot fully predict or calculate for."

Some of the stiffness seemed to leave Cadis' stance but he still stood protectively near Gaster.

The doctor stepped forward, ushering Sidd out of the doorway as he pulled the door closed. He stared Cadis down with the confidence and self assured correctness he always held over his assistants. He moved his gaze to Gaster, "you will not come near this place again." His eyes hardened some when Gaster remained still, only giving a defiant stare in return.

The doctor let out a low displeased growl as he stalked off down the hall, Gaster watched him go with a frown before he turned to look at Sidd. The gingerbread assistant stared at him for a few moments before turning to walk down the hall in the opposite direction from the doctor.

Gaster followed after Sidd, turning to look at Cadis with some concern as the dog guard shook his slightly ruffled fur out before he joined Gaster's side. 'You alright?'

"I'm fine pup, I just don't like the feel of this place." Cadis glanced back for a moment before he gazed down at Gaster with an almost pleading look, "pup I hate to agree with the doctor but you shouldn't hang around there." Cadis rolled his shoulders again as if that might help to settle the sensation that would only disappear with distance, "it can't be good for you."

Gaster frowned at that, it wasn't as if he liked the feel of it either but he needed to know if this could be changed. If the soul was reacting to his existence the first and easiest way he could think of to test that was to get near it, as uncomfortable as that was for him. He needed to know if there was something he could do about this.

He let out a sigh, turning down a different hall from Sidd as they neared the edge of the soul's range again. He walked back the way they had originally come from, traveling to the hall where he had initially tested the edge of the soul's energy. He walked beyond it, stopping and turning to reach out and try to find it again. It was a little more difficult this time with the shadow of the soul's prickling energy still firmly lodged in his bones but he needed to find the edge again quickly now that he had passed so close to the soul and then moved away again. He needed to see if there was a difference.

It took him a little, stepping forward and backward a few times before he found it. Cadis watched him unhappily the entire time but did not voice a complaint. Once Gaster was certain of where it was he looked around the hall to gauge it's position compared to before. It was still in the same place that it was earlier.

Gaster let out a frustrated sigh as he lowered his arm and took a few steps back. He wasn't sure if this was good sign or a bad one but he had expected there to be some sort of measurable change. Maybe the soul wasn't reacting to him, but why had it only started giving off energy recently then? It couldn't be a coincidence, there was a connection somehow even if it hadn't seemed to be effected by him being near it.

Maybe proximity didn't matter then? He had never been near enough to feel it before he had been allowed to roam the lab, he was certain that the feeling it gave him would have at least been familiar if he had felt it in his earliest days that he couldn't remember. Or perhaps he would need to be near it longer for there to be an effect, he wasn't eager to test that though.

Gaster stepped away to travel back toward his room as he thought and tried to ignore the very slow dissipating of the itch in his bones. Cadis visibly relaxed as they left the area, though he still looked at Gaster with some concern. Gaster gave him a small smile, 'I'm fine.' Cadis still frowned some and didn't seem so easily soothed this time, 'Cadis, please don't worry.'

"You know that you shake more when you go near it pup?"

Did he? Gaster glanced down at his hand, it didn't really look like it was shaking any more to him but he supposed it would be easier for Cadis to see than it would be for him. If it was subtle enough he might not have noticed it with the distraction of the soul's energy.

"You've been shaking less pup, as you've gotten better. Not by a lot but I can see a difference." Gaster glanced back up at Cadis, "but you shake even worse than before when you get that close to the soul."

Gaster frowned at that. He had hoped to see a greater reaction from the soul, not the other way around.

"You have more troubles than a pup should, you don't need to add more worries to them." Cadis let out a slight huff but smiled a bit anyway, he reached over to give Gaster a gentle pat on the shoulder. "You know I worry 'cause I care about you, right pup?"

Gaster gave him a small grateful smile in return, 'I know.'