Chapter 37
After a my breakdown again on Thanksgiving, I'm starting to feel a little bit better. It was just too much and my feelings for Jacob, Sarah, and Mr. Howard that night. It showed me that Jacob wasn't worth it for you to leave the mother of your child in the hospital by herself when she doesn't have no family at all.
It just showed to me who he truly was and it was a nobody who only thinks of the safety of his child and Bella. It just broke my heart that he wasn't here to celebrate with me be it Sam or maybe his dad stopped him. I had Mr. Howard and he was weird and maybe jealous. He gave off the attitude that he was a jealous person when I told Jacob that it wasn't a big deal. He did a complete 180 on me.
Mr. Howard the teacher?! That's something new. I'll just wing it. Someone knock on my hospital door. "Come in." I say turning on my other side to see who's at door. It opens up to Nurse Miller who's carrying a vase of flowers for me. "Oh, wow." I say looking at the Daises and Sunflowers. "How you doing?" She asks walking in and closing the door behind her.
"I'm doing fine." I say looking at her sitting the vase on the nightstand and I move the tissue out of the way. "That's good to hear. I heard you have high blood pressure." She say sitting down in the chair next to the bed. "It's a little bit something here and there." I say still looking at the flowers. "They're beautiful." She say looking at them too. "Yeah, I never had flowers and you're the first person to give me flowers." I say looking at her.
"Not even Jacob?" "Not even him. I'm a flower person from how I dress and everything but they're nice. How you been? I mean Thanksgiving and everything." Plus the first time you're visiting me. "I been good. How's your blood pressure?" She asks me. "It went down greatly. Dr. Roberts told me that I'm doing good but I'm still ordered to bed rest." I say nodding my head.
"Jacob still giving you problems. I heard about how it happened." "Yeah, it was a just a simple thing and it wasn't that big of deal." "It was a big of a deal if you was rushed to the hospital possibly having a heart attack." She strongly say. "It wasn't a heart attack. Mr. Howard thought it was but it was just a simple blood pressure going through the roof." I say pulling the blankets over me.
She nods her head. "I heard you're anemic. That your hands are ice cold." "It's a little bit chilly in the hospital room. The heat is turned up but my blood work says that I'm good and I don't have a heart condition. Have you met Dr. Roberts?" I ask her. She's friends with Mr. Howard and his wife. His wife. Then she should be friends with him too.
"I met him. He's the local clinic doctor." "Yeah, I guess he was recommended by Mr. Howard to me because I met him before and I thought it was a set up." "You thought it was a set up?" "Yeah, everybody knows everybody." "It's a small town, Lacie." She laughs out. "I know it's funny but it was just how we all met and I thought it was a set up and a trick perhaps. My mind was going crazy because he was not my doctor before." I say.
"He's a highly recommended doctor and he's the best in the town and probably the world." She say and stop talking. I thought she was going to say that she had him. "I heard. Well, I'm coming along good. I'll be released probably next week. I hope then it's bed rest. I still don't know if I'll make it to school anymore but probably not." "I'm pretty sure you won't. It's a high risk pregnancy, Lacie. Did Dr. Roberts tell you anything else about it?" She asks me.
"Not really. Bed rest. No stress. High risk pregnancy. That was it. He knows the gender of the baby." "He does. So, it's not a girl?" "I don't know. He knows it but Jacob doesn't want to know but I want to know if it's an actual girl or a boy." I say shrugging my shoulders. "So, you do not know?" She asks me. I thought I just said it. "No, but I want to find out to the core and I'm starting to think it's a boy." I say sitting up in the bed.
"What makes you say that?" "Because I'm really seeing blue and green. Blue scrubs, the paint on the wall, and Mr. Howard green shirt." "His green shirt." "Yeah, so I'm thinking that Mr. Howard knows too because him and Dr. Roberts are good friends. So, Mr. Howard is giving me clues. He been wearing boy colored shirts everyday when he visits me." I say. He always wearing those types of shirts.
"I agree that he does wear boy colored shirts but you won't see him wearing girl colored shirts." "I think red is a girl color. Maybe Orange. He has yet to wear to yellow but anything that is neutral colored. It's goes in the girl department." I say playing with my finger. I watch what he wears. "That's good thinking, Lacie." "Thank you, Nurse Miller. Do you know?" I ask her.
"No, I don't know. Maybe I should ask." "If he'll tell you but I'm sure he doesn't know but I want to know to the core but Jacob doesn't want to know. I think he wants Sarah. I will love to see him with a little girl on his arm but I would love to see him with a son." "Is he going to be in the baby's life? I heard he's still acting the same even though he knew your blood pressure was a little bit up."
"Yeah, he's going to be our baby's life. He's not going nowhere and I know where he lives at." "It doesn't mean anything if you know where he lives, Lacie. It's a big difference from now to later. He was still acting jealous when Mr. Howard had visited you and changed his mind about coming to see you in the hospital." I guess that's about it. I'm lying. It's the nail on the coffin.
"Jacob has a terrible attitude problem." "Is he violent?" She asks sitting up in the chair. Where did that question come from? "No, I mean he never hit me. I'll probably do the more hitting the relationship but he just a normal teenage jealous boy." I say shaking my head. "I just want to know because you said he has attitude problem." "He's not violent. Jacob is real sweet but he's just jealous of my relationship with Mr. Howard."
"And, what relationship is that?" She asks with a tone. Really, Nurse Miller. "The part where he's there for me when I need him. It's like he thinks the same way that I do." "And, how is that?" "Like if I need something he's right there at my door with it or we run into each other at different places. Mr. Howard is a pretty cool guy and I changed my opinion about him. I really like him." And, I really do.
"We all like Mr. Howard and mostly so does his wife." "Who is that?" "His wife is the woman who he's madly in love with and is married to her, Lacie." She say stating like I'm dumb. "No, I mean her name. I never heard of her name." "It's Beverly, Lacie." She say. "Oh, he never mentioned her name but I like the name. Beverly." I say nodding my head and looking out of the window.
It's a little bit cold outside considering it's now December plus the heat is turned up in the room. I know Nurse Miller is sweating with her coat still on. "Are you hot?" I ask pointing to the thermostat. "I'm okay. Do you think Mr. Howard is crossing the line in his relationship with you?" She asks me. I grin on the inside. Not really. "No, I don't. I love it. I never had a man or a teacher like him who's that much in my life. I like it." I say nodding my head.
"That's good. It's just that girls tend to fall for Mr. Howard in a liking way." She say making me wondering if she talked to Orlando about what happened in the hospital hallway. "I am one of those girls. I'm starting to really like Mr. Howard and I know he's married and most of a teacher but it comes a time where a teacher or someone of higher profession will gives off actions that attract the opposite no matter what. You can't help your feelings." I say to her.
"And, you cannot. Mr. Howard is a married man who is an adult and as his student you must keep your feelings at bay and not try to cross the line." "And, I don't cross the line. He just when he visit his wife in the hospital. He just come to see me. It's just a simple visit and nothing more nor less, Nurse Miller. It's not that type of relationship." I say shaking my head at her.
"I'm just checking because Mr. Howard is a grown man and you're not the first one who has had an attraction to Mr. Howard." "Well, it's unhealthy like some teenage girls are. I'm healthy about it and he is just my friend who helped me through a rough time and I'm not changing my ways for him nor anybody." I say and I guess she doesn't like my words because she's fidgeting in her seat.
"It's just it's a line that shouldn't be crossed between student and teacher, Lacie." "I understand that and I never crossed it." I say lying. "You never crossed it?" She asks not believing me. "No, I have not." I say shaking my head. "Okay, Lacie." She say. "Is that it? Are you leaving?" I ask looking at her getting up from the chair. Bye. "I am." She say grabbing her purse off the floor and walking towards the door.
"Bye, Have a good day." "You too. Don't cross that line again with Mr. Howard, Lacie." She warns me opening up the door. "Okay, Nurse Miller." I say and she nods walking out of the door. I shake my head at her foolishness. You came to me about Mr. Howard when I been in this hospital for almost two weeks now and you're his wife best friend. Okay, Nurse Miller. I turn the TV back up to my cartoon channel.
I'm in the bathroom taking care of my business when someone knocks on the door. "Yes." I say sitting on the toilet. "It's me." Mr. Howard say. He did say he was stopping by today. "Come in." I say. "I'm not coming in, Ms. Thorne." He say while I grab some tissue paper. "Okay, I'll be out." I say wiping myself and flushing the toilet. I wash my hands and exit out of the bathroom to see him looking at the flowers.
"I see you took your coat off." I say looking at his black trench coat in the chair. "I did. It's kind of hot in here. Who gave you these flowers?" He asks. "Nurse Miller did." I say sitting on the bed. He looks at them real hard. "It wasn't a guy." I say putting the blanket back over me. "I didn't ask if it was, Ms. Thorne." He say looking at me. I nod my head and turn on the TV turning it down.
"Nurse Miller visited you?" He asks me while still looking at the flowers. "Yeah, she did. It's been almost two weeks and she visited me finally." "She was out of town, Ms. Thorne." "Mr. Howard, she visits her best friend in this hospital and she could not visit me." I say rubbing on my stomach. It's getting a little bit bigger. He glances at my stomach then back at the flowers.
"It's kind of hard for her." He say. I understand. I don't want to go on that subject. "Right, is it too hot in here?" I ask fanning out my hospital shirt. "It's kind of real hot." He say. I nod my head getting out of my bed and walking to the thermostat to turn it down. "I don't know who turned it up unless it was Orlando because I woke it this morning it was kind of hot." I say turning it down from 83 to 62.
I turn back around to see Mr. Howard still looking at the flowers. "Do they mean something to you? I mean it's Daisies and Sunflowers. She just gave them to me." I say noticing how his reaction is to them. It must be about his wife. "They are my wife's favorites types of flowers." He say looking at me right in the face. Hm. "That's probably why she gave them to me." I say.
"And, why is that?" He asks me. "To remind you and to remind me that you have a wife." "I don't think so, Ms. Thorne." He say shaking his head. It's whatever. "It's what I think because she confronted me about crossing the line and having a liking to you before she came or something. I just ignored her because she was not going to come at me with her attitude. She is her best friend." I say.
"Whose's best friend." "She said that she is your wife's best friend." "She is not my wife's best friend, Lacie." He say. Someone is lying. "Well, that's what she was going around saying and it's whatever. I just go with the conversation and she basically told me to never cross that line again." "And, I won't cross it either." He say going back to looking at the flowers.
I nod my head looking back at the TV but glancing at him every now and then. I scratch and rub on my neck as it gets silent in the room and the only thing that can be heard is the TV. "I'm real sorry about your wife, Mr. Howard." I say to him. "Thanks, Ms. Thorne." He say. I don't want to seem nosy or anything but I do want to find out what happened to her.
"So, what happened to her? I heard she was in an accident." "It was an accident at home." He say looking at me. "I caused it." I say pointing to myself. I don't know your wife. "I'm not saying that." "I'm confused now because I never touched your wife, Mr. Howard. I touched you." I say pointing to him. "I never said you touched my wife. You'll never touch my wife, Ms. Thorne." He seriously say.
"Okay, Mr. Howard. I never should've brought it up. It's a sensitive subject. Why don't you take your wife the flowers? I don't need them and those are not my favorites." I say pointing to the flowers. "I'll take them later. They're very beautiful." He say. "They are and I'm sure Nurse Miller didn't mean anything by it. I was the one who took it another way but it was the way she came at me. I don't know." I say shaking my head.
Nurse Miller is on some other stuff. "Mr. Howard, have a seat. I know your legs are tired." I say pointing to the seat. "I'm okay." He say looking at the flowers. I nod my head. "Have you heard from Dr. Roberts?" I ask him. "I talk to him every day." "It must be kind of nice to have a friend who's a doctor." "It's nice, Ms. Thorne. You want to know the gender?" He asks me.
"I do and I know he told you. You know?" I ask him. "I know." "So, it's a boy or Sarah?" I ask looking at his shirt. "I'm not saying." "It's just that I see you coming in wearing blue or boy colors and I wonder if you are giving me a hint." I say pulling the blanket over me."I'm not giving no hint. It's my regular clothes, Ms. Thorne." "Oh, I thought you was. My bad." I say turning back to the TV.
It goes back to silent as he just stand there. "Mr. Howard, you're making me very nervous with your standing. Can you please have a seat on my bed or in the chair? Just take the flowers and come back. I'll still be here." I say looking at him. "Are you sure?" He asks me. "I am very sure. They're beautiful and everything but I give them to someone else as a gift. I don't deserve flowers like that and I thank Nurse Miller. Give them to your wife or another patient. It'll brighten their day up." I say nodding my head.
"I'll take it later." He say. "Mr. Howard, as long as those flowers are in here then you will be staring at them and doing side eye glances. Take the flowers out of here, please. I can take them if you don't want too." I suggest. "I'll just take them later, Ms. Thorne." He say. I nod my head and look out of the window. I haven't talked to Jacob today. I'll call him later to see what he's doing.
"How was school?" I ask turning back around to Mr. Howard to see him sitting down. "It was nice." "They caught the killer?" I ask him. "Not yet." He say shaking his head. "It's sad, ain't it? Those girls couldn't have Thanksgiving with their families." "What makes me so mad. Not only did this killer take their lives but also ripped their families heart out." He say. I agree with him.
"Do they have any clues or anything?" "Nothing yet." He say looking in my face. "Do you think it might be the same person who broke into my house?" I ask him. "I don't know. It was not Jacob or one of his friends?" He asks me. "I haven't been to confront them on the tribe but I know they didn't." I say nodding my head. "You'll have to tell the police about your information, Ms. Thorne."
"And, I will. Do you want to watch something else?" I ask pointing to the TV. "I'm okay." He say looking at me. I nod my head and he goes back to watching TV. It get silent in the room. This is so awkward. I shake my head feeling tired and lick my lips. "Did you Orlando out there?" I ask him. "No, I didn't see him." I nod. "Do you wanna feel on my stomach?" I ask holding my stomach.
"I'm okay, Ms. Thorne." "But you do have the picture?" "I have the picture." I nod looking at the flowers again. I don't understand Nurse Miller. "I think she's very protective of your marriage, Mr. Howard." "Who is?" "Nurse Miller. I think she saw us or she heard from someone about what happened." "She probably saw us." "But, she's right. I mean I like you and maybe a little bit too much because of the attention and you helping me out and everything but it was a line that was crossed. You was just helping me out in my time of need and it never should've happened." I say to him.
"No, it shouldn't had." "But, I liked it. I think because of the attention that you been giving me in the last couple of months and you being there when Jacob should've been. I really liked it." I say nodding at him. I guess he doesn't know what to say. "I don't want you to like it too much." 'But, you can't help your feelings. I could've lost my baby." I say getting off the bed and walking towards him.
"You didn't." He say looking at me kneel in front of him. "But, I could had and like I said before your arms and you being behind me catching me saved my baby's life. I'm still pregnant because of you. No pregnant woman should ever fall whether it's front or backward. The trauma is terrible." I say shaking my head. You learn so much reading those pamphlets and Dr. Roberts in your ear.
"It is." He say nodding. I feel like that's all he can say. "And, I thank you." I say grabbing both of his hands. "You don't have to thank me again, Ms. Thorne." He say. "No, I really thank you. Baby Sarah thank you and I'm sure Jacob thanked you so much. Did he?" I ask him. "He did." "I'm sure he did because he's not that nasty of a person and he's learning as a teenager. Thanks again, Mr. Howard." I say to him.
"You're welcome, Ms. Thorne. Your hands are cold." He say rubbing on my hands. "They're always cold when I wake up and go to sleep. I'm terribly anemic." I say looking in his face. "They're real cold. I'm sure that's not healthy." He say. "Nor was my heart but it came out health and protected. Thanks to everybody around me being here to show support and you're all my good friends." I say ending it with a small smile.
He smile too while looking me right in the face. He leans forward a little bit to reach my height and I lean forward a little letting his hand go and putting it on his leg where I feel him shiver a little bit. Our lips are inches apart. I don't have time for this. I just grab his shirt and pull him to my lips where we kiss. "It's just a Thank you kiss, Mr. Howard. I'm sure it won't ever happen again." I say getting up and getting back on the bed before he can say anything.
I face the window. "It won't, Ms. Thorne." He say. I nod my head agreeing with him. I scratch my hair and neck while seeing the flowers reflection in the mirror. Daises and Sunflowers. Yellow and White.