Hi again everyone, sorry for the long wait. This semester is looking up to be very hectic, but I'll try to do the best I can.

Anyway I got some really encouraging reviews last time and I just want to say thank you to everyone who is reading this - even if you don't review - it really means a lot when I see that people are enjoying my work.

Again this chapter has been proofed but not beta'd

Enjoy regardless :)

"Why is this taking so long?" I demanded as I scuffed my shoes on the ground.

"There are other customers, Koko-chan," Teito told me while rubbing his forehead, "be patient."

"There's still two months before the wedding; why are you ordering a cake now?"

"I already told you we're not placing the order yet; we're just here to see what kind of cake he has and to finalise the menu for the reception."

I scowled and turned my gaze to Mikami and Kamiko. They were going over a menu hanging up on the wall next to a large display booth.

"Look, I know you don't want to be here, but when you have 150 people on your guest list then you kinda need to find out a way to feed them all."

I sighed, "Weddings are too much work; I don't think I'll ever get married."

He chuckled, "You never know; you could meet the right girl and fall head over heels in love with her. The wedding won't seem like so much work after that."

I rolled my eyes. "Yeah sure."

Soon after that a portly man in a baker's uniform came out to meet us. The next hour or so was spent discussing what was going to be on the reception menu. I was bored out of my mind, but at least we got free samples.

Next we went to the florist where Teito took a back seat and let the two women handle everything. I can't say I blamed him; picking out flowers wasn't exactly my cup of tea, or his, for that matter. Afterwards we had to go to the printers and pick up the invitations and envelopes. Then we had one more stop before heading over to Kamiko's house to address and seal the invitations; they would be mailed tomorrow.

Kamiko lived in a moderately sized apartment, but she had accumulated a lot of 'stuff' for the wedding so her home had began to take on the look of a thrift store. I sat down next to a pile of tiny, white boxes tied with red ribbons and tried not to knock them over as Mikami followed Kamiko into the kitchen and Teito took a seat on the edge of the coffee table.

"Hyōka, are you good with your hands?" Kamiko asked as she returned from the kitchen carrying a bag of small red bows.

"What do you want me to do?"

"Can you stick these on to the envelops?"

I glanced to the large stack of envelops on the coffee table and sighed inwardly. "Sure."

"Great, my sisters should be here in a short while to help."

I knew Kamiko came from a pretty large family; four sisters and three brothers to be precise. I had met them all briefly before, but I had a feeling that I would be seeing a lot more of them during these months to come.

...

" Hyōka, wake up,"

I groaned and pulled my covers over my head.

"Oh no, you don't," Mikami yanked the comforter away from me. "We need to leave in half an hour; get up."

I scowled at her and sat up.

"Come on," she ruffled my hair as she left the room.

I guess waking up wouldn't have been such a problem if I hadn't been up most of the night talking to Toushiro. He had been worried about the hollow. I knew I was going to start learning to control it soon, but he wasn't sure if he could hold on for much longer. Ever since the visit to the Soul Society he had felt his control slipping – I mean, I felt it too. Being agitated was very tiresome, but I hadn't been pushing too hard for the training to start. A few days of doing nothing were more than welcome after the rollercoaster ride from hell these past few months had been.

I stifled a yawn and headed towards the bathroom.

"Where are we going today?" I asked as I passed by Teito.

"To set up the gift registry," he answered, "But Ichigo offered to babysit you for the day so you don't have to come with us if you don't want to."

"You know saying the word babysit makes me want to come with you," I rolled my eyes.

He shrugged, "It's your choice, Koko-chan."

"Ichigo's it is then."

"I thought so; Kamiko's sisters are coming with us today."

I winced, "What kind of family are you marrying in to? I hope she doesn't want a lot of kids."

He shrugged again, "It might be nice to have a big family."

I raised an eyebrow, "I think you're losing it, Teito."

"Twenty minutes, Hyōka," Mikami called from the kitchen.

...

"How's the hollow holding up?"

I glanced at Ichigo over the top of the book I was reading. "Toushiro's doing his best, but he's been sapping up all of my energy trying to keep it at bay."

Ichigo sighed, "I think it's time we paid Shinji a visit."

I let out a deep breath.

Ichigo raised an eyebrow, "You nervous or something?"

"Maybe,"

"It's nothing to be ashamed off. Hollows are scary creatures especially the ones living inside of you. I was scared shitless of my own inner hollow for a while."

"Really?"

"Oh sure that puts a spark in your eyes. But yes, I was scared that if I didn't control him he would take me over a kill everyone I love."

I blinked; Ichigo and I weren't that different when you actually thought about it.

"You'll be fine, kid."

I nodded, "I'll hold you to that, Kurosaki."

He chuckled, "we'll head over to Shinji's after lunch."

I instantly felt nervous. What if I couldn't control the hollow after all, what if it ended up killing me?

Hyōka calm down, Toushiro sighed, no one will let you die.

I took a deep breath.

You have Hyourinmaru to help you, remember?

The dragon puffed out his chest, don't worry Hatchling, I'll protect you.

I believed him, but I knew that this was not going to be an easy task. Even with Hyourinmaru's help I didn't think that I could ever beat a Hollow who had been a captain-class shinigami and deep down I think Toushiro knew this too.

"Ichigo?" I asked after a short pause.

"hmm?" he had picked up the newspaper and was scanning an article.

"I'll become a hollow if I can't control it, right?"

He hesitated and put the paper to a side. "Um... well yes."

"And you'll have to kill me if I do?"

He didn't answer but stared at me for a while.

I took a deep breath, "I don't think I'm ready to do this."

His eyebrows shot up into his forehead. "What? Not ready? I thought you couldn't wait to control your hollow."

"I... I ... The hollow's still so much stronger than me."

He frowned at me, "That's not the real problem is it?"

"Huh?"

"Takemitsu Hyōka, since when do you give up because something seems hard?"

"All the time."

He snorted, "Which is why you went behind everyone's backs to find out what we were trying to hide from you and disregarded your own safety to get to the bottom of things? I know all of this is scary but if you were the type to give up you wouldn't be here right now. So, I don't believe for a second that you don't want to do this training just because your inner-hollow scares you."

I hung my head. I was scared of the hollow, of dying, and leaving everyone behind. Ichigo, was right, however, if I was hesitant to do this just because I was scared then I should have stopped before I became a shinigami.

After I become a visored the next step would be to fight and kill Aizen. If I managed that then what? Would I have to turn to the Soul Society – the same people who had almost tortured me? With Aizen gone they would have full control over everything... I wasn't saying that I wanted Aizen to win – god no, that evil bastard deserved death – but I wasn't sure that I wanted the Soul Society to win either. After what I had seen them do, both to me and to their own people, I wasn't sure what would happen when Aizen was gone.

"Hyōka? What's wrong?"

"Nothing."

"Hey, talk to me."

"I'm fine, Kurosaki."

"No you're not," he reached out and grabbed one of my arms. He placed it down on the table palm up so that my scar was visible. "If you were fine, then you would have had Unohana remove these. You're holding a grudge, Hyōka, a grudge against your allies."

"They're not my allies," I spat before I could stop myself.

Ichigo blinked then let out a long winded sigh, "What they did to you was wrong, Hyōka, I'm not going to deny that, but we need their help. Trust me I hate what Yama-ji and Central Forty-six is doing just as much as you and I haven't always agreed with their rules and regulations."

I snorted, "they didn't ever arrest you did they?"

"They tried, and they almost executed Rukia for something that wasn't her fault. I know how you feel about them."

I frowned, "They almost executed Rukia?"

He ran a hand through his hair, "That was a long time ago and how we found out about Aizen in the first place; it's a really long story. I'll have to tell you about it some time; remind me. But the point is Aizen is our enemy and the enemy of my enemy is my friend."

"Machiavelli," I sighed. Did I really hate Aizen more than I wanted to disassociate myself with the Soul Society? Of course, that wasn't even a question. "I suppose I can hate them all I want once Aizen is dead."

He chuckled, "When Aizen's dead, you can do anything you want."

I smiled a bit and withdrew my hand from the table. My smile faltered, however, as I saw the scar across my palm; I could not forget this. Ichigo placed a hand on my shoulder.

"You're a strong kid, Hyōka."

I glanced up at him my smile falling completely. "I don't feel like it."

He didn't say anything but squeezed my shoulder instead.

...

I felt drained by just looking at another desert-like training room. This time I was inside of an old warehouse instead of a basement, but the feeling was the same. Sunlight poured down and I felt beads of sweat start to form on the back of my neck. I briefly wondered if the artificial sunlight could give me sunburn; if so it seemed to be very counter-productive.

Toushrio snorted, I think sunburn is the least of your problems.

I rolled my eyes; if I end up dying from skin cancer then we'll see how much of a problem it is.

He shook his head while Hyourinmaru chuckled softly.

Ichigo placed a hand between my shoulder blades and guided me towards a group of strange looking people. But since everyone that had something to do with the Soul Society and such was strange I suppose that they were pretty normal looking people.

Seven people glared at the two of us as we walked up to them. If hostility had a corporal body it would have been dancing around the room at this point. And here I had been thinking that they were friends with Ichigo.

"Ichigo!" Shinji exclaimed walking up to us with a huge grin on his face. His hot pink tie was all that I could focus on as he came over, "I was wondering when you were going to show."

I blinked, so maybe they were just a hostile bunch of people.

"Hey Shinji, How've you been keeping?"

"Who's the pipsqueak?"

I turned to glare at a short girl with a snaggle tooth and sandy blond hair held up in two pig-tails.

"This is Hyōka, the one who you're supposed to be training," Shinji answered.

"Him? But he's just a kid! How the hell can he be visored?"

I scowled deeper. "I'm not a kid," I snapped.

She raised an eyebrow at me, "I don't like your tone. And you are a kid, I've never seen someone so short before and what's up with that ridiculous hair? You look like an old man."

I ground my teeth together. If she was the one training me then there was no way that I was going to go through with this. I'd prefer to let my hollow kill me.

"How can I look like a kid and an old man at the same time, idiot?"

"Who are you calling an idiot, pipsqueak?" she yelled suddenly centimetres from my face.

I grimaced and took a step back, "you, obviously."

She snarled and grabbed the front of my shirt, "Why you little-"

"That's enough you two," Shinji stepped between us.

The next thing I knew he was on the floor clutching a bleeding nose. The blond girl stood above him with one of her sandals in her hand.

"Don't tell me what to do!" she shouted.

I blinked; violent much?

After a quick introduction the visored gave me a once over. I had never felt so exposed in my life. Afterwards Shinji pulled me to the side and glared down at me.

"Why are you here?"

"To learn how to control my hollow," was the scripted answer.

"Why are you really here?" he asked folding his arms across his chest.

I frowned, "What do you mean? I only have one reason for coming here and that's-"

"Because Ichigo made you."

I paused with my mouth half open.

"I can sense you're not ready to do this."

"How do you know? I am ready."

"Oh really?" he grinned and the next thing I knew there was a hollow in my face.

I screamed and fell over backwards. Ichigo was by my side in a heartbeat.

"What the hell, Shinji?" he shouted.

With my heart still pounding as I realised that the hollow was actually Shinji with a mask on. He straightened up and his mask dissipated into thin air leaning behind a faint trail of black smoke.

"We're not training him," he stated and turned back to the other visored.

"What?" Ichigo snapped.

"Are you deaf, idiot? He said we're not training him," the blond girl cut in.

"Why?"

"He doesn't want to do it. Just look at him, Ichigo," Shinji sighed, "the boy clearly doesn't want to be here. I'm not going to force him into anything he doesn't want to do. Plus, it's dangerous to play with hollows especially if he isn't putting his all into it."

"Hyōka?" Ichigo turned to me.

I looked away, "I do want to control my hollow-"

The girl snorted, "How can you hope to control something that you're so scared of? Did you pee yourself when you screamed?"

I snarled at her.

"He has every right to be scared of his hollow," Ichigo snapped, "I was scared of mine, but you didn't turn me away."

Shinji sighed, "You were a different case. You may have been scared, but you were so ridiculously thick-headed that you honestly believed you could fight it and win. I don't think the kid here has your level of confidence."

Ichigo turned to me again, "Hyōka, you can beat this, you know it."

I looked away from him. Toushiro almost jumped at me for doing what I was about to do. Hyourinmaru stopped him but he still yelled at me and called me a bunch of rude names. I ignored him, though, and glanced from the visored to Ichigo.

"He's right," I said at length, "I can't do this; let's go."

Ichigo's eyes bulged and his mouth dropped open. I turned to leave but he stopped me, "You can't do this? You do realise that if you don't your hollow will end up killing you."

I shrugged and walked past him.

"Hyōka, you have to do this!"

I clenched my jaw, "No! I don't have to do anything!"

Ichigo called after me but I had stormed off. I heard him sigh then follow me.

"He can come back when he's ready," Shinji called after us.

But honestly I didn't know if I'd ever be ready.

...

"Why?" Ichigo asked me on the way back to the clinic. He seemed pissed and was trying his best to hold it in but was failing for the most part. "Why do you keep on making such stupid decisions? If you wait any longer you could die, Hyōka! Do you not understand this?"

"I can't hope to ever control him, Ichigo."

"Yes, you can; you're just scared."

I rubbed my forehead, "No, I can't-"

"Yes-"

"No. You don't understand, Ichigo. My hollow is Toushiro – a captain class shinigami – I haven't even gotten my shikai yet. If I face him head on I have no living chance of winning."

"You don't know that..."

I sent him a withering glance, "The gap in our strength is too great; I've seen this from all the times he's come after me. I can hold him off, indefinitely, but at least I can. The way I see it; I'd rather postpone the inevitable for as long as I can rather than rushing it in the face and dying right then and there. It's more reasonable to want that, isn't it?"

He sighed and ran a hand through his hair. In that moment he actually looked like the grief stricken adult he was supposed to be. "It may seem reasonable, but none of this is ever reasonable; hollows defy logic every day. There's no pattern, he could attack you tomorrow for all you know. And if not then maybe next week or next month. Would you really be content with just sitting and waiting for him to get you or would you rather stand up to him and go down fighting?"

...

You Idiot! Toushiro yelled at me.

My inner-world was going crazy thanks to him. The beginnings of a heavy blizzard were howling around us.

Do you know what you've just done?!

I planted my feet in the snow and stared straight at him.

Toushiro growled and I could do nothing but stare as his eye began to change from teal to gold. His skin lightened dramatically until he looked like a ghost and sharpened teeth poked out from under pale lips. I felt my breath catch in my throat and my heart thudded heavily in my chest.

So, you're on my side after all, he grinned sadistically. I'm still going to kill you, though.

I instantly took a step backwards. The hollow chuckled.

It was smart of you to realise that you can't control me, he hissed as he calmly came closer to me. I backed up again causing him to laugh. You're just a scared, little thing aren't you? God, this is going to be so much fun.

I swallowed in effort to not bring up everything I had eaten for the past month and looked around for Hyourinmaru. The dragon was nowhere to be seen. I felt my heart stop and dread seeped into my bones. Where had he gone? He was supposed to protect me.

It's just you and me in here, the hollow seemed to read my thoughts, I'm not going to let him interfere this time.

As he spoke I started to feel sick. No, he couldn't block out Hyourinmaru; that wasn't right. That wasn't-

An ice cold hand closed around my neck. I froze.

Oh come on; it's no fun when you don't fight back.

I blinked, no fun, no... I couldn't breathe; the pressure on my throat was unbearable. I scrabbled at the hand around my neck. His skin was like marble, I swear.

There we go, he smirked and tightened his hold.

It felt like my eyes were going to pop out of my head. I flailed around and aimed a few kicks at him. I caught him once or twice but he didn't as much as flinch. I was trapped; I was going to die at the hands of my inner-hollow – Toushiro – myself. I was pathetic, truly pathetic.

At the back of my mind there was a low growl.

Hyourinmaru?

Don't you dare give up on me, Hatchling; we did not come all this way for this.

How? I thought he –

I am you; no one can take that away. Now stop this madness and fight.

I felt my head start to swim and black spots were dancing around my vision. The hollow's demonic face swam in and out of focus, but instead of being afraid I began to feel angry. I clenched my fists around thin air, imagining that I was grasping Hyourinmaru's hilt. I felt the cool metal materialise in my palm and without a moment's hesitation I swung the blade at the hollow's abdomen.

Hyourinmaru sang happily; I felt his power move through me as he sliced through the air. Still, I did not expect that the sword would come into contact with the hollow. I felt the slightest resistance and then something akin to slicing through a slab of steak. The hollow's eyes went wide and he dropped me, jumping back and clutching his stomach. He stared from the blood seeping from in-between his fingers to me then the zanpakuto in my hands. An enraged sneer formed on his face and somehow he began to look less human-like. Creases formed in his brow and his mouth was pulled back impossibly wide – almost splitting his entire face in half. And I swear that horns were forming on top of his head.

I stood up straight, despite the pounding in my head and swimming vision, and brought Hyourinmaru up in front of me in a two handed grip. I actually surprised myself with how calm I was at this moment. My breaths were deep and even and as my head cleared bit by bit I found myself zoning in on the hollow and blocking out everything else.

The hollow and I locked eyes in a staring contest. One of us was going to have to make the first move. I adjusted my grip on Hyourinmaru, shifted my weight, and leapt at the hollow. I was aiming for his neck but he dodged at the last second and brought up his own newly materialised sword to block me.

A metallic clang resounded throughout my inner world in an almost melodious way. We jumped apart and stared at each other for a split second before coming back together with another clash of steel.

I thought you were scared of me, the hollow taunted.

I ignored him and swiped at his side. My blow was met and returned with almost double the force. I jumped back again before he could land the hit and slice me right in half.

I thought I had been scared of him too, but I was enjoying this inner calm and clear head. I attacked again. The hollow growled as he blocked me yet again.

I've had enough of this. You might feel all good and confident now, but remember you're weak!

He caught my blade in his left hand. The steel bit into his palm and I saw rivulets of blood flow from between his fingers and around his wrist. He didn't feel it from what I could see. All of a sudden I started to panic; the calm feeling fled me and I started to tremble. He yanked my sword away from me and flung it into the snow – my arms almost went flying with it.

Unarmed, I fell backwards into the snow and stared up at the hollow with wide eyes. He raised his cut hand to his mouth and licked the blood away; more still flowed, however. He leaned over me, crimson blood now dripping from his mouth, and pulled back his thin lips into a gleeful snarl. I scrambled backwards and readied myself to bolt.

Then... time stopped but seemed to speed up at the same time. I could hear my own heart beating loud and slow in my ears. Hyourinmaru let out an ear splitting roar full of pain and anger. My inner-world turned red and I think my vision went blank for a second. Pain erupted from my right leg and I realised that I was screaming along with Hyourinmaru.

I looked back up to the hollow to see him standing back looking impressed at his handy work. One arm was placed around his zanpakuto's hilt. I followed the blade to where it was embedded deeply into my thigh. I was too scared to move, in too much pain to move. My leg was on fire I could feel it throbbing with more potency each second. A pool of bright red blood stained the snow around me and soaked into my pants.

The hollow laughed at my pain and leaned on the blade. I threw my head back and yelled in pain as I felt the razor-like edge slide through muscle and possibly knick bone. I heard the crunch as it slid out the back of my leg and into the snow. I thought things couldn't get any worse then he twisted the blade. I felt hot tears run down my face and pain flared through my whole body.

I want you to remember this whenever you think of me, he sneered suddenly millimetres away from my ear. Remember this pain whenever you think about fighting me. You cannot win against me, Hyōka. And if you try this again I will crush you like the little insect you are.

He gave the blade a final shove and I heard the distinctive sound of snapping metal. I blinked in confusion until I saw him straighten holding just the hilt and about six jagged inches of blade of his sword. The rest was still embedded in my leg.

Hyourinmaru roared again but this time it was strictly in pain. I felt it too; it was like my spine had been snapped in half. The hollow even winced and I saw him falter slightly but he straightened almost instantly and turned to walk away.

I was left in pain and crying in the snow until I felt and hand on my shoulder. Mikami? I shakily raised my arm to touch it and let it pull me out of my inner world.

"Oh god, Teito what do I do?" I heard a female voice ask frantically.

The pain followed me from my head into reality. Through hazy eyes I could see a pool of blood spreading out on the wooden floor.

"Yes he's conscious... responsive?"

"Mikami?" I muttered, closing my eyes against the pain. I could feel a panic attack coming on as well.

"He's asking for Mikami. What should I do?"

Okay, so that wasn't my sister. I took a deep breath trying to stop myself from giving into the attack. Teito wasn't home; he had a late shift tonight so it was just me, Mikami... and Kamiko. Oh, the poor woman must have been having a heart attack right about now. I concentrated on my breathing, it was easier said than done; my body was trying to get me to hyperventilate and the searing pain in my leg did not make it any easier.

"Where's Mikami?" I asked again.

"She... she went to the clinic there was an emergency," Kamiko's voice trembled.

I swore under my breath. Okay, so I was basically in this alone; Kamiko obviously didn't know what to do in a situation like this – she was almost crying into her cell phone, I wouldn't dear turn to Toushiro, and I wasn't too sure about Hyourinmaru. I blinked to clear my vision and took a few more deep breaths; I could not lose it, not now at least. I chewed my bottom lip and concentrated on keeping my breathing at an easy pace. Sometimes concentrating on a pattern like my breathing or counting helped... I hadn't used this method in such a long time, though. I pushed the pain in my leg to the back of my mind telling myself that this wasn't the worst I had been through; I could deal with it. Pretty soon I was no longer on the verge of a panic attack and I slowly opened my eyes.

Kamiko was no longer in the room with me and I rolled my eyes hoping that she had gone to get medical supplies or something useful. I pushed myself up into a seated position and using my arms and good leg slid over to prop myself up against the wall. I hissed every time my leg came into contact with the floor. I hadn't known that it was possible but somehow the broken piece of the zanpakuto had come into reality with me. It was a good thing really; it slowed the bleeding a bit.

"Kamiko?" I called out.

I heard someone running down the hallway and she poked her head around the door frame in seconds. "Hyōka?"

"Yes, come here for a second."

She scrambled next to me, knelt down and placed a small first aid kit to the side. Her cell phone was still at her ear. "He's alert now, Teito."

"Okay, good, he should be able to tell you what to do now. I'll be there as soon as I can. I've notified Mikami and Ichigo so they should be over there in while." I heard Teito's voice over the receiver.

She snapped the phone shut and turned to me.

"I need gauze," I said, "there's none in there; you'll have to check Mikami's room. She has a black, leather bag with medical equipment in her closet."

She nodded and left again. While she was gone I examined the wound; living with a doctor as a sibling had prepared me for this. The blood wasn't coming out in thick spurts so the blade hadn't hit an artery, which was good; I would have been dead otherwise.

Kamiko returned with the bag and ripped it open to get a roll of gauze.

She looked at the wound on my leg and winced. Then before I knew it she was reaching for the piece of steel in my leg.

"No!" I exclaimed, but it was too late. A fresh wave of white, blinding pain washed over me. I gritted my teeth against it.

She withdrew her hand in shock and was now nursing a cut across a few of her fingers. She looked at me questioningly. "I'm so sorry," she breathed.

I glared at her, "never try to remove anything from a puncture wound; that just makes it worse... and that's sharp."

She chewed her bottom lip and nodded. "What do I do then?"

"Make a doughnut with the gauze... yes like that but much thicker. Okay, now place it around the... yeah," I leaned forward to apply pressure to the gauze. There wasn't much else I could do until Ichigo and Mikami got here. So, the two of us sat in silence for a while. I could tell Kamiko was scared, she worked in an advertising company; I don't think she had ever seen this much blood in her life. I sighed and glanced towards her.

"I'll be fine," I told her even though I was beginning to feel the effects of blood loss. God Ichigo and Mikami better hurry.

"How did this happen?"

I shook my head; it didn't make sense explaining now. She would have had to get inducted into all of this sooner or later, but I felt sorry that this was the way it had gone.

"Can I do anything else to help?"

"Just keep talking to me and make sure I don't pass out."

...

Ichigo's face had 'I told you so' written all over it. He stared down at me with a raised eyebrow while Mikami sat at my side looking like she had aged a decade in a matter of a few hours. Teito was the other room consoling Kamiko.

Mikami and Ichigo had arrived a few minutes before I passed out. Thankfully, they had thought to bring along Tessai with them, so healing my leg had been pretty simple.

"So, what happened?" Ichigo asked.

I looked away. "My hollow attacked me."

Mikami drew in a sharp breath. "I thought you were going to get that under control."

"It takes time-"

"He decided not to," Ichigo cut me off.

"What?" Mikami raised her eyebrows and turned to me.

"Okay, first off I wasn't sure if I could even control this hollow; I'm not strong enough to face him head on, as he so kindly proved tonight."

"Then you train until you are strong enough," Ichigo snapped.

"I don't have your drive, Ichigo, and he progresses alongside with me so, if I get stronger so does he.

"Well there has to be a way to counteract this," Mikami muttered. "And what's the real reason why you don't want to train anymore? I thought you were one-hundred percent on board with this."

Why did everyone assume that there was another reason behind this? I wasn't that predictable, was I?

"As long as you've been alive you have never once given up on something. Now, what's the real problem?"

I sighed, "I just don't see how this training is going to benefit me."

She frowned and Ichigo let out an annoyed huff.

"Well, from what Urahara-san said, it's going to stop you from getting killed."

"Or kill me faster."

"That's it. You better tell us the real reason why you don't want to do this." Ichigo exploded. "If you were truly that scared of your inner hollow then you wouldn't have tried to keep it a secret from us in the first place."

"I was trying to protect Toushiro; I didn't know how you were going to react." I folded my arms across my chest.

"And yet you were confident enough that you believed that you could hold him off without any help."

"Well I-"

"What's different this time around? What happened between now and then to make you think that you can't do this?"

Mikami turned to me, "I think it's time we talk about what happened in the Soul Soceity."

"Look, I can handle myself, okay. I don't need to talk about anything."

Mikami clenched her jaw. "Why are you trying to block us out? We're here to help you Hyōka."

"I don't need your hel-"

"Bullshit," we all turned to see Teito standing at the doorframe. "Don't think any of us haven't noticed how you've been acting lately. You're only thirteen and you've been through more than any adult I know. Stop trying to do this all on your own and help us to understand what you're going through; we're all here to help you; we want to get you through all this safely. Believe me when I say that it really hurts to see you like this. If you keep this all caged up sooner or later you're going to break and when it finally happens none of us are going to be able to put you back together. "

I looked up at Teito. I hadn't been acting that differently, had I? Okay, maybe I had been a little more jumpy and slightly more irritable but I honestly hadn't meant to worry any of them.

"Where's Kamiko?" I asked, hoping that she hadn't heard any of that.

"She was still worked up so I asked Tessai to calm her down and put her to sleep with kido. But back to you; why aren't you letting us help you?"

"I don't want to bother you with any of my problems," I muttered at length.

A unanimous sigh went around the room.

"How may time do we have to tell you we all want to hear your problems. We want to help you."

I hung my head, "You've helped me more than enough."

"No as long as you need us, it'll never be enough."

"He's right, Hyōka, You're not a burden on anyone," Ichigo agreed, "Everyone in this room cares for you deeply and will do anything to keep you safe."

I chewed the inside of my cheek. I guess telling them what was wrong this one time wouldn't hurt. I mean they probably wouldn't leave me alone until I did.

"Fine," I muttered, "I'm worried about what the Soul Society will do if they find out what I am."

"They're not going to do anything, you're not under their jurisdiction," Miakmi growled.

"That didn't stop them before," I looked at my hands, "There's a reason why they don't want me to learn shikai or bankai."

Teito and Mikami looked at each other unsure how to respond to me. Icghio ran a hand through his hair and moved to sit down on the bed next to me.

"I'm going to tell you a story," he said.

I frowned; this was not the time for this. "About?" I asked hesitantly. Both Mikami and Teito looked slightly confused as well.

"About how I became a shinigami."

I did intend to jump right into the visored tarining but then this happened. The reasoning I think could have been said better but I couldn't come up with anything else. It just seemed like something a thirteen year old would do. Hyoka is scared about this whole ordeal even though he tries to hide it most of the time.

So hate it love it? Tell me what you thought :)

-Mymomomo