"Poor thing, look at her."
Loki smiled at Chris, "What, she has fresh hay, water?" The rain on the roof of the stable was pelting harder and he could hear a heaviness in it that could only be ice. "I think it is turning to sleet."
Chris peered out of the stable door. "Indeed it is, as I was saying, poor Blackberry. That's what happens, you let a randy stallion like Lightning get a whiff of a pretty lady like her."
And Blackberry did seem miserable, looking at Loki, her ears slightly flattened as he stepped into her stall. He looked at her distended belly, recalling how she had come to such a state.
He had been mending Lightning's stall door early last winter. The horse had been startled and had kicked it, breaking it in half. He had turned Blackberry out into the paddock for some grass and exercise and Loki had placed Lightning into an adjacent enclosure while he worked. Fen had been attending him, handing him tools as needed. When they heard the high pitched whinny, Fen had raced to the stable door then ran back to him. "Papa! Lightning is hurting Blackberry!"
Loki had run out of the stable, stopping short upon seeing Lightning had mounted the little mare, she turning to nip at him as if to say, "hey we have company!" Loki had silently cursed Lightning's ability to jump even the highest fence but there was naught he could do for it now.
"They are playing, Fen." He had ushered the frantic boy back inside the stable, turning to the stallion who was now staring at him as if to say, "Liar." Loki had mumbled, "Dog." and followed Fen to finish his work.
The incident, however, had been related at the evening meal that night by that same boy to Eidra whom Loki had seen struggle to keep from laughing. "Papa said they were only playing but it didn't look like Blackberry was having any fun."
Brenna had shaken her head seemingly about to say something but Loki had fixed her with a glare and she had rolled her eyes but remained silent.
Later that night as they lay in bed, Eidra had teased Loki about his solution to such a delicate situation. "Playing, is that what you called it, truly?"
"What would you have me tell him?"
"There was nothing else you could have told him. You did well. What would you have told me?" She had smiled coyly.
He had leaned over and whispered in her ear, "I would have told you they were rutting then I would have asked you if you wanted to join them."
Their play had soon turned to passionate love-making and as they lay there holding each other in the afterglow, he was sure his life was as perfect as it could be. That was then...
"It takes two, does it not?" Loki laughed and Blackberry shook her head as if to disagree.
Chris clucked his tongue. "Two willing participants mind you. When do you think she'll foal?"
Loki bent over, palpating her side and the life within, "Before the next moon."
He exited the stall and latched the gate. As they walked out of the stable, heading for the cottage, Chris cleared his throat and Loki glanced at him, "My boy, Sally and I have decided that we shall move back to our cottage inside of a month."
"Now at the start of winter? Why not stay until spring?"
"Because then it shall be why not stay until summer, then autumn will be upon us and cold weather again and you shall suggest we stay until winter is ended again." Chris reached for Loki's arm, "My son, it pains us to be a burden to you as much as it uplifts us to be part of your family. Let us try to return to the cottage and if we find it is too much then I shall sell the whole lot. I did hope that Brenna would come home and evict us."
Loki nodded, "I see no chance of that. Very well, if you insist upon leaving, so be it. On the morrow, we will go hunting to secure you some game for a start. Which reminds me."
Loki turned up the hill before the cottage to the small smokehouse at the top, opening the door to check on the smoldering fire inside.
"Is it well?" Chris called.
"It is. Not long and we shall be able to put the meat into the storehouse."
When they walked into the cottage, Eidra was in the rocking chair, Cait on her knees, cooing softly while Sally and Helgi looked on smiling. "Oh listen to her, already talking to ye."
"If only we knew what she was saying." Eidra drew her finger down Cait's belly and her arms flailed. Loki's heart swelled as he leaned over and planted a kiss upon Eidra's forehead. She looked up with a gentle smile. "We were in the process of fixing the evening meal but we were distracted by a pretty girl." Loki put his hand atop Cait's head,
"As would I." he glanced at Chris, "On the morrow, we are going hunting."
Eidra nodded, "Very well. I shall put aside some bread and cheese for you." She handed Cait up to Loki, "Take care of her, we must continue our chores."
He sat down in the rocking chair with Cait on his shoulder and soon Fen was at his elbow. "When will she start to talk, Papa?"
"Not for some time yet." He kissed her downy hair, "I know, she seems quite boring to you does she not?"
Fen nodded and Chris chuckled, "Come boy, babies are women's work. I will teach you to whittle a bit more."
"Be careful with the knife," Eidra called to them, "Watch him, Chris."
"I shan't let harm come to him." He gathered Fen onto his lap. "Fear not."
When Eidra moved to the storage room to fetch potatoes for the stew, Loki followed her, catching her before she left the room,
"Chris has said they are to move back to the cottage before the new moon." He whispered.
Eidra peered out through the doorway at Sally and Helgi laughing and talking by the fireplace. "Does Sally know of his plans?"
"I gather she does, he said they had been discussing it."
"Is there nothing you can say to change his mind?"
Loki shrugged, taking the potatoes from her arms, "He thinks they burden us. If they wish to try their independence again, they have my blessing. I will watch over them still."
Eidra wrapped her arms around his, "I will miss them."
"As will I."
After the meal, Chris sat dozing in a rocking chair while the women cleared away the plates and mugs. A sharp sound, the clack of a plate, roused him. He looked at Loki who was securing the pack for that next morning. "I am sleepy of a sudden. Good food does that to a man." He winked at Sally who waved her hand at him. "I believe I shall turn in early tonight." He moved forward and stood from the rocking chair. Fen, who had been playing at his feet, jumped up and hugged him.
"My little man, we will whittle some more on the morrow. I believe you have the soul of an artist." he ruffled Fen's hair then moved to Sally whom he favored with a pinch on her backside.
"Ye scoundrel!" She cried, batting at him with a linen cloth, "Get ye to bed."
"Join me soon, my pet." he rumbled as he shuffled off into the bedroom.
Moments later, there was a loud thump and a crash. Eidra screeched and Sally dashed into the bedroom as Loki jumped from the chair at the table. In the bedroom, Sally was on her knees on the floor screaming at Chris to get up as he convulsed on the floor, his mouth moving soundlessly, eyes starting from his head. Loki heard Eidra's whispered "Oh no." as he knelt on the floor beside him.
"Chris, come to!" He took him by the shoulders, could feel the muscles straining as whatever demon that had taken hold of him, grappled for control. He looked over his shoulder at Eidra, "Fetch Petter! Tell him to make all haste!" Helgi had appeared in the doorway then, her hands wringing together as she watched, "I shall tend to the baby, go."
It was a long time before he stopped shuddering and they were able to wrestle him onto the bed. He had lost all semblance of speech, his movements slow, confused, the paralysis that had plagued him revisited as he lay there, mouth slack, one eye shut as if half asleep.
"Apoplexy again. The damage is great." Petter took Chris's wrist, felt his pulse. "Thready." Felt the pulse at his neck. "Make him comfortable."
"What? Is there nothing to be done?" Sally stood at the end of the bed, hands wrapped tight around the footboard.
"Time is all that can be afforded here. That is all there is to do. Continue the willow tea. I will return on the morrow to check on him."
Fen's face appeared over the side of the bed as he patted Chris's hand. "He will be alright, won't he Papa?"
Loki could only give a short nod as he walked from the room with Petter who stopped by the front door, cloak in hand, lips tight together.
"It is worse than before." Loki said upon seeing Petter's countenance.
"There is nothing more to do, save keep vigil over him."
Petter started to mount his horse but Loki grabbed him by the arm, "He has recovered before, surely he will again."
"One may hope. Call for me if he worsens." Petter nodded to Eidra who now stood in the doorway of the cottage with Cait on her shoulder.
He ushered Eidra inside and shut the door on Petter's retreating form as she edged close to him and spoke in hushed tones, "What did he say?"
Loki could not look into her eyes, but trained them on the open bedchamber door where Sally and Helgi stood around Chris's bed. "He said there is nothing to do but watch over him." He started for the bedchamber but Eidra stopped him with a hand to his chest, running it up to his cheek where he pressed it there, then leaned over, kissed first Cait's head, then Eidra's soft lips. He lingered a moment, then returned to the bedchamber to check on Chris.
They would sit with him during the day, at night, Sally would lay beside him listening, waiting. On the fourth day, he had started to sleep more often which to Loki was more of a blessing than having him lay there staring at the wall, seeing nothing.
"Sally, you must eat." Eidra coaxed her that morning, pushing a bowl of porridge with dried berries across the table at her.
"Would ye be able to were it Loki laying there?" She replied though she pulled the bowl to her.
"If It meant I would have the strength to help him when he recovered, yes." She saw movement out of the corner of her eye at the bedchamber door. Fen stood there staring inside, watching Chris as he slept. She thought she should tell him to come away but he wasn't harming anything and so she left him alone. After a minute, she heard Loki's low voice beckon him inside and he disappeared through the doorway.
She'd brought a bowl into him for morning meal but when he'd made to rise, to go out and do the milking, she insisted he stay and she did the chores instead. Now as she leaned back a bit, she could see into the bedchamber where Fen had crawled up on Loki's lap and was talking quietly to him.
She looked down at the cradle she'd been rocking with her foot, seeing Cait had drifted back to sleep, she stopped ever so slowly, trying not to wake her in the process.
"She's such a good baby." Helgi beamed down at her.
"She is, that is my one regret, that we couldn't have kids." Sally paused, spoon halfway to her mouth.
"But you have out little ones to love and hold." Eidra reassured her. She gave Eidra a sad smile.
The whole household seemed to feel the tension. That evening Cait was fussy even after she had been nursed and changed. Fen was restless, refusing to settle down for bed. He had dragged his animals into his bedchamber and set them on his bed except the horses whom he'd given to Sally to put on the stand beside Chris's bed. "He made me the horses first. Maybe he will see them and feel better."
Eidra had sat on the edge of Fen's bed for some time, bouncing Cait and talking to him until Loki came into the room.
"Fen, it is time to turn down the lamp and sleep."
"I want to stay up and talk to Mama."
Loki took Cait from Eidra's arms, "Your Mama needs rest too, now go to sleep." he tilted his head towards the door and Eidra nodded though she waved him away. He shook his head, looked at Fen, "Sleep." then left with Cait into the common room.
Eidra stood from the bed, leaned over Fen and kissed his forehead, moved to the stand and began to turn down the lampwick.
"Mama, I am afraid."
Eidra paused, her hand on the lamp, "There is nothing to fear, you sleep in the dark every night."
"I am afraid that Uncle Chris will not get better." Fen reached out his hand, gripping a handful of Eidra's dress. She took the hand in hers.
"You must think that he will, for good thoughts help to heal." She smoothed his hair from his forehead, admiring the blue green eyes that so mimicked his father's, then turned and drew the lamp down into darkness so that the only light came from the half moon outside the window.
"Goodnight Mama,"
"Night, my little man."
Loki had Cait laying on the bed before him, uncovered. "She was wet again."
Eidra watched him change her nappy as she unlaced her dress to change into her nightgown.
"You indulge the boy too much." he murmured.
"On the contrary. He is still but seven and a bit more. What does compassion hurt?"
"He needs to build strength of character. He must be strong."
"At seven seasons?" She reached down, swaddling Cait in her blanket and picking her up. "Let him be a child."
"Need I remind you of my boyhood?" Loki stood from the bed.
"And did you not resent such treatment? You yourself said Frigga sheltered you more than Thor. That he was the one who was constantly in thrall of Odin."
"A fact for which I later paid the price as he would take his treatment out upon me when he could."
Eidra lay Cait in her cradle, "I will not cow him into manhood." felt Loki come up behind her and slip his arms about her waist, chin on her shoulder. She reached up and put her hand around the back of his neck, "My love, he is a good boy. He will be as strong as you only let him be for now. We are all of us worried."
She felt Loki nod, his arms tighten. "Get into bed, let me ease your troubled thoughts." she cooed and soon she had cradled him to her, stroking his hair, speaking words of love until they both drifted into silence.
"Loki!" came the frantic whisper, "Wake up! Please."
He raised his head to stare into the light of the lamp held by Sally. Beside him, Eidra stirred, moaned.
" 'Tis Chris."
He sat up, swung his feet over the floor and looked out the window. It was still full dark.
"His breathing is become troubled." The light flickered with the trembling of her hand.
Loki felt Eidra move, "What?" and he turned to her.
"I am going to tend to Chris. Sleep."
He rose from the bed, knowing despite his admonition that she would be right behind him and she was.
Once in the bedchamber, he could hear a thick choking gasp. He walked up to the bedside, looking down at Chris, could feel two pairs of eyes staring at him as he composed himself and turned, "Eidra, stoke the fire and put on some hot water for tea."
"Loki?" She reached out and took his hand.
"Do not wake the others." He sat down in the chair beside the bed, watching the slow, heavy rise and fall of Chris's chest.
"Should I ride into the village and fetch Petter?" He heard the desperation in Sally's voice.
"He has said there was nothing he could do. Chris thought he was no better than a charlatan. Let us stay by his side."
The night wore on as Eidra and Sally drifted in and out of the bedchamber, speaking in hushed tones by the fire. He would hear a sniffle now and then as Sally cried softly. At one point, he heard Cait awake and start to fuss. He rose from the chair and stood in the doorway, watching as Eidra drew her gown aside and started to nurse, Cait latching on, her eyes locked to her mother's face. Eidra looked up then, catching Loki's gaze and she smiled, leaving Loki to wonder how he could fall in love with her over and over again at the merest glance, the most fleeting touch.
He returned to the chair, his eyes sliding from Chris's form to the window and back. At one point he thought he had dozed but the darkness in the window hadn't changed. He looked at Chris for a moment, waiting for his chest to rise again, waiting. Finally with a great heave, it did and Loki was suddenly angry, enraged. He had considered bringing Chris to Asgard to see Clotho when he'd had the spell those long days ago but Sally had worried the trip might kill him. Loki had explained that Clotho was a healer and that perhaps he could help but she had refused.
Loki had never been privy to the healing spells. A rudimentary few, to heal a wound, to lessen a fever, yes, but nothing so deep seated as this. That required intricate knowledge, elixirs, potions he didn't have and as a young man, had no desire to learn. He never expected to need such spells, such is the folly of youth. Granted there was no guarantee Chris would be healed but now it was far too late. He continued to watch as Chris's chest rose and fell, slower, the interval between breaths growing steadily.
As the light started to grow in the window, Sally came in and sat on the bed for a few minutes.
"Eidra is asleep in the rocking chair, poor dear. I told her to go to bed with the baby but ye know how she can be. She dragged the cradle out of the bedchamber and sat with me."
"If you are tired, take my bed."
Sally shook her head, "I'll trade places with ye if ye like."
"Join me then. I wish to stay."
Sally nodded, taking Chris's hand in hers, shuddering at how cold it was. She rubbed it between her palms, trying to return some warmth.
"He was looking for a nice piece of wood the other day. He was talking on whittling a doll for Cait."
"He spoke of it the last day we went out into the woods to hunt." Loki smiled, "I am glad he was able to take down that buck. It was the first good shot he'd taken since his last bout."
Sally traced his knuckles with her fingers, "He was proud, was he not? Strutting like he used to. When he would make a fine cake to put in the window of the shop and he would beam as people would stop to look in at it."
As Sally was speaking, Loki watched Chris's chest, waiting, longer now, longer still. He stood from the chair and leaned over Chris's face then put an ear to his chest and Sally watched Loki's hand curl into a fist as he straightened back up. "It is over."
Sally lifted Chris's hand to her cheek as her tears started afresh and she began to rock back and forth, barely registering Loki's hand on her shoulder. "I will tell Eidra. We should wake Helgi."
Sally gave a nod though she stayed where she was. Loki knelt on the floor beside the rocking chair, gently shaking Eidra until she started awake and looked down at him.
"He is gone." Loki laid his head in her lap, felt her body shake as she began to cry, her hand stroking his hair, leaning over, kissing his temple as his own tears wet the skirt of her gown and they stayed like that for a long moment until he glanced up at her. "Will you wake Helgi and tell her? Let Fen sleep a bit longer. This is one event wherein growing up is highly overrated."
Helgi sat with Sally while Loki woke Fen as the sun cleared the horizon, carrying him into the bedchamber to see Chris. The women had already started to measure out lengths of linen to start sewing a shroud and they sat around the table somber and tearful with their needles and thread, talking quietly as he passed with the boy.
"Will he not come back, Papa? He looks to be asleep." Fen would only peer at Chris, his face half buried in Loki's chest and he would not be put down though at seven, he was well sized for his age. Still Loki held him, answering his questions as best he knew how until he stopped talking and simply kept his face hidden. It was then that Loki took him from the bedchamber and into the common room where he began to dress for the day's chores of milking the cows and gathering the eggs. He knew his heart wouldn't be in it but it would distract Fen from what had happened and so he sent him off with the egg basket, explaining that the eggs must be gathered regardless.
As he walked into the barn to milk the cows, he passed the spade leaning against the inside wall by the door. He knew he would have to abide by what Chris had wished. He returned to the house with Fen some time later, left the milk pail and the eggs on the floor beside the hearth and took Fen back outside with him to fetch the spade.
"Where are we going, Papa? Why are we not staying with Mama?"
Loki shouldered the spade and guided Fen down the rutted path towards the fields. Chris had asked to be buried beside the cairn for Silas so that he would not be alone in some unremembered hole in the ground.
"We are going to fulfill a promise."