*MINOR EDIT 10/27/15: You know the drill; spelling error driving me nuts, feel free to ignore.*

We finally visit LA and see what the Fang Gang is up to.

Also, the poll for which Buffy villain you'd like to see team up with Voldie-poo is still up on my profile. Please check it out! :)

AN: This diverges from Angel season 4. Connor is not crazy and is back living with Angel (they're trying to make things work). No Ilyria; Wes was forgiven (mostly), but is on probation. Lorne is around, but only sometimes. Faith joined the gang after Sunnydale and she and Gunn are dating. Wes and Fred are dating as well (I always hated that it took so long for them to get together on the show). Spike is corporeal because of Fred's genius brain. I think that's all the important stuff...now on with the fic!

Chapter 30: The Offer

August 22, 2003: "Pass the salsa, Chuck."

"It's right in front of you, Fay. Get your own damn salsa."

Fred snorted at something Wesley whispered in her ear and Faith narrowed her eyes at the couple. "What?" she said. "What's so funny?"

"Percy just told Fred that Charlie-boy isn't getting any tonight, pet," said Spike from his seat sprawled out on the lobby's sole remaining couch.

"I ain't your pet, Fangless," snapped Faith, "and Fang's gonna butcher you if he catches you with your nasty boots up on his precious couch again."

"I'd like to see 'im try," snarked Spike. "Peaches isn't the boss of me."

"Is that so, William?"

Spike glanced up lazily, a smirk gracing his sharp features. "That's so, Peaches," he said, his voice challenging and his icy blue stare mischievous with just a hint of malice.

Angel met his gaze with unwavering cold, brown eyes. "Get your feet off my couch, Spike," he snapped, his arms crossed over his chest and his posture ramrod straight.

"Make me," said Spike smirking up at his Grandsire.

Angel growled. "Now children," said Connor, coming up behind his father and placing a hand on his broad shoulder, "no fighting during dinner."

"Good one, Junior," said Faith, smiling at the brunette teen. "Show 'em who's boss."

Connor flashed her a predatory grin and flopped down beside her on the floor, growling playfully when she ruffled his shaggy hair. "Watch the hair, Faith," he whined.

Faith laughed. "Just like your old man, kid," she teased, "always obsessing over your hair."

"I do not obsess over my hair," insisted Angel, shoving Spike's feet off the couch and sitting down.

"Hey Faith," said Connor, "I've got this weird envelope for you." He held up a strange parchment envelope sealed with emerald with stamped with an elaborate M.

Faith furrowed her brow in confusion. "Where'd that come from?" she asked. "We already got the mail today."

Connor sniggered. "An owl attacked Dad on the way back from the taco place," he said. "It had this envelope attached to its leg and wouldn't leave Dad alone til I took it."

"You gonna open it, Fay?" asked Gunn, knocking shoulders with his slayer girlfriend.

"I dunno," said Faith with a shrug. "Seems kinda fishy to me."

"I assure you, my dear, it is not fishy in the least."

The entire Angel Investigations team jumped to their feet, ready to fight. Standing in the lobby by the front doors was a strange old man with long white hair and beard, wearing royal purple robes with aquamarine stars and moons printed on it. Angel stepped forward, lowering his hands. "Albus Dumbledore?" he said.

"Liam O'Connor," said Dumbledore, his blue eyes twinkling brightly. "You were already a legend at Hogwarts and beyond when I began my first year. I must say, the years have been far kinder to you than me."

"Yeah, well, comes with being a vampire."

"Indeed." Dumbledore squinted at Spike, his eyes widening after a moment in recognition. "William Pratt," he said. "You've aged well too."

"Vampire too, mate," said Spike, shrugging and sticking his hands into the pockets of his leather duster. "Do I know you?"

"I don't believe we've had the pleasure," said Dumbledore. "I've heard stories, though. I do believe Hogwarts still plays host to the poetry club you started during your time as a student."

Angel and Faith practically doubled over with laughter, Spike's glower be damned. "William the Bloody Awful Poet," chuckled Angel.

"Can it, Peaches," snapped Spike irritably.

"What's the matter, Fangless?" said Faith, smirking as she stood up with the dangerous grace of a panther. "Can't take what ya dish out?"

Spike opened his mouth to retort, ice blue eyes narrowed to slits, but Wes interrupted. "Gentlemen, Faith, perhaps you can save your alpha pissing contest until after we hear why Professor Dumbledore has come to see us."

"Thank you, Mr. Wyndam-Pryce," said Dumbledore graciously. "I've actually come today to offer a few of you places at Hogwarts this coming school year."

"What's Hogwarts?" asked Fred and Connor at the same time.

"Does this have something to do with this weird ass letter?" asked Faith, waving the envelope at the elderly professor.

"Why don't you open it and find out, my dear," suggested Dumbledore, his blue eyes twinkling merrily.

Faith eyed him warily, but sat down at the reception desk and opened it. The letter read:

Dearest Fidelius,

I am much aggrieved that your mother saw fit to hide your existence from me. I would have taken you into my home in a heartbeat. You should have been raised among blood, alongside your brothers, in the greatest of pureblood finery. Would that I had known of your existence; you would have wanted for nothing.

Alas, that is in the past and the past must remain unchanged. All I can do is look to the future and hope, my dear daughter, that you are amicable to meeting your unwillingly estranged father. I pray you bear me no ill will for the wrongs that your mother has committed against you by depriving you of your birthright. Would that I had known of you when you were first born, my wife and I would have taken you in and she would have raised you as her own.

It is my greatest desire to meet you, my dear Fidelius. I hope you will amicable to this. Please send me an owl at your earliest convenience so that we may meet.

With deepest regards,

Lucius Scorpius Malfoy

"Well, what's it say, Fay?" asked Gunn when Faith finally set the parchment down.

Faith blinked slowly. "This guy claims he's my Pops," she said, her mind still processing what she had read. "He says he just found out about me and wants to meet me."

Dumbledore frowned thoughtfully at the broken wax seal of emerald green on the parchment. "This seal looks familiar to me," he said. "Who wrote you this letter, Miss Faith?"

"The letter's signed Lucius Scorpius Malfoy."

Dumbledore hummed thoughtfully and stroked his long, white beard. "Perhaps you would consent to come to England with me, young Slayer," he said. "I believe I can help you uncover the truth of Mr. Malfoy's claim."

"She won't be going alone," said Gunn, stepping behind Faith to hold her close.

"Of course not," said Dumbledore. "I had hoped to entice yourself, along with Messers Angel and Spike to join our staff this year as Professors of Muggle Studies, Care of Magical Creatures, and English, respectively. I also have a letter here for a Mr. C. O'Connor; an invitation to attend Hogwarts this coming year as a student."

"That's me," said Connor, bewildered, stepping forward to accept the strange letter from Dumbledore.

Angel's brow furrowed. "Isn't he a little old to be just now starting Hogwarts?" he asked.

"I believe that with some tutoring, young Connor will be able to catch up to at least the sixth years, if not the seventh years, by September 1st. It is not impossible; already we have one student who is completing the same process this summer. She is about the same age, I believe."

"Connor," said Angel softly, "son? Would you like to learn magic? Like—like your mother and I both did in our mortal lives?"

"I—both of you knew magic?"

"Aye," said Angel, a bit of his old Irish brogue slipping though as his mind fell to old memories. "My family, the O'Connors of Galway, was an old Pureblood family. Darla—though that was not her name when she was human—was also from an old pureblood family, though I know not which one."

Connor turned to Dumbledore. "I would learn magic at this school?" he asked.

"Of course," said the professor. "Would you like to attend?"

"I-I think so," said Connor, glancing over at his father. "I've never actually been to school before."

"I'll take the job," said Angel abruptly.

Spike scoffed and shrugged his shoulders. "Can't leave Peaches and Junior alone for too long or they get cagey," said Spike.

"If Fay's in, I'm in," said Gunn.

"Very well," said Dumbledore. "I can have a portkey ready in an hour, if you would consent to leave today."

"Of course," said Angel. "Fred and Wes, you guys hold down the fort while we're gone. If you need more help, call Lorne."

"Will do, Boss," said Wes. "Have a safe trip."

XXXX

An hour and a half later everyone was packed and gathered in the Hyperion lobby. Dumbledore stood in the center of the room holding an empty coffee can. "Excellent," he said when Angel finally joined them. "Now, everyone place a finger on the can."

"That can's gonna transport us across the ocean?" said Gunn dubiously.

"Indeed; it's magic," said Dumbledore. "Now, everyone get ready in five—four—three—two—one—" There was a quick flash of light and then the Hyperion lobby was empty once again.

Roses are red,

Violets are not.

Reviews make me happy,

Flames can eat snot.