THESSIA

Valya is on her way to Thessia medical. She's okay they said. Everything will be fine they said. She didn't hear anything after they said Dava had been hurt. Before heading there she called Akira. The medical examiner said she would meet her there.

Running inside now Valya practically shouts at the nurse behind the desk.

"Valya," Akira is there. She takes her hand to try to calm her down.

"You hear anything?"

In a calm voice Akira looks at the nurse, "We are looking for Dava. She is a commando."

Valya lets go of Akira's hand and paces a little while the nurse checks the system.

"Are you family?"

"Are you kidding me? She's my daughter!"

Akira touches the former commando's shoulder. She gives a sympathetic smile to the nurse.

"Yes, okay, right this way." The nurse leads them down a long corridor. When they turn the corner Valya sees Tif and other commandos.

"Valya," Tif says as she approaches.

"Thank you," Akira says to the nurse. "My apologies, she is very worried."

"I understand." The nurse heads back to her desk.

"How is she? What happened? Is she in there?"

Tif stands her ground with Valya. "She is just fine." She nods to Akira who approaches.

"What the hell happened?"

"We lured in a Batarian ship, or more like a shuttle." She was on patrol with her partner and they were attacked from behind. She took out two of them."

"Two? How many were there? Where were you?"

"Valya." Akira's tone is a little firm.

"It's okay," says Tif. "I was monitoring everything from base. She hit her omni which alerted us. She is very smart your daughter."

Valya doesn't want to hear how smart her daughter is she just wants to see her. Why does her chest hurt? Why is it suddenly hard to breathe?

"She was shot with some type of tranquilizer. She was struck a few times before backup arrived."

Valya bends over trying to catch her breath.

"Valya?" Akira is at her side instantly. "Tif can you grab that chair please?"

"I…can't…breathe."

Tif hurries with the chair. They both help Valya to sit. "Put your head between your knees focus on your breathing Valya," Akira is very calm. "Take a breath in for one, two, three, four and five, that's it and let it out two, three, four and again."

"Want me to get the Doctor?" asks Tif.

"I don't believe that is necessary thank you. Again Valya."

Valya does as she is told. The tightness in her chest is fading and she feels like she can breathe again. She slowly sits up.

Akira cups her cheek, "How do you feel?"

"I'm okay." Valya looks at Tif, "What are her injuries?"

"Mild concussion. She took a nasty hit on her upper back. She will be sore for a while, but nothing is broken."

"She in there?" Valya nods to the door across the hall.

"Yeah. She saved her partner's life Valya. Thought you would want to know that."

Valya narrows her eyes at the commando. She lets out a breath. "Thanks."

Tif nods her head then leaves the two alone.

"What the hell was that?" asks Valya taking another deep breath as her hand covers her heart.

"I think you had a mild panic attack."

"What? Me?"

"Valya, your only child is in the hospital, again. It is understandable. There is no weakness in it."

The detective doesn't say anything to that.

"Go ahead," says the medical examiner. "I will be right here if you need me."

"You sure you don't mind my going in alone?"

Akira kisses her cheek, "Of course not. Go."

Valya kisses Akira back. She stands up takes in a deep breath, lets it out and enters the room.

Dava is asleep. The right side of her face is black and blue with a very large bruise. Her right eye is swollen shut. Valya's eyes burn. She sits next to her daughter and gently takes her hand between hers. She gives it a kiss.

"Looks worse than it is," says Dava. She manages a smile but then winces a little

"Oh sorry I didn't mean to wake you. How…how are you feeling?"

"Like I was hit in the head."

"You want to tell me what happened?"

It doesn't take long for Dava to fill her in. After she is done talking Valya totally feels like slapping Caitlin upside the head.

Valya notices that Dava's eyes start to close. "Do you need anything?"

"Can you call Mia for me? I…I'm supposed to call her today but…I can't seem to keep my eyes open."

"Yeah sure. You…you want me to tell her what happened?"

"Please," Dava closes her eyes, "we don't have secrets."

"I'll be here when you wake up. Akira and I are here for you honey."

Dava slowly blinks, "Tell her I say hi."

Valya stands and kisses her daughter on the forehead. "You rest now. I will be right outside."

Dava closes her eyes again. Her face relaxes as she falls asleep. Valya cannot help but think how small and young she still looks. Her little girl. She has been through way too much for any lifetime. "I love you Dava." Valya quietly walks out of the room.

She lets out a breath when she sees Akira approach.

"How is she?"

Valya hugs her. "She's okay." She looks at Arkia, "She looks awful, but she's going to be okay." She wipes her cheek.

"Why don't I get some food and bring it back."

Valya smiles.

"What?"

"Have I told you lately how lucky I am to have you in my life? I'm glad you're here Akira, I love you."

Akira touches her cheek, "I love you too. Pizza?"

"Please."

"I'll be back."

"Hello Akira, hello Valya," says Arelia.

"Arelia hello," says Akira.

Arelia opens her arms to Valya who hugs the head of the commandos. "You see her?"

"Yeah," says Valya.

"I got here as soon as I could."

Valya pulls her further down the hallway away from the other commandos. Akira follows but gives them privacy by standing a few feet away.

"Tif tells me you lured a Batarian shuttle here?"

Valya sees a hint of dissatisfaction on Arelia's face. "Look, you can tell me Arelia."

"All I can tell you is that because of your daughter another commando is alive. We are in the middle of something here and you are not privy to that information."

"My daughter could have died Arelia!" Valya lowers her voice when she sees the commandos down the hall look their way. "I want to know what is going on."

"Valya, I am grateful for our friendship, but I cannot tell you information you are not meant to know. You are no longer a commando, your daughter is. She was injured doing her job Valya. Something I know you have lived through as well."

Valya wants to protest but she knows Arelia is right. It's not her place to know information she is not supposed to know, but that doesn't make this easy. The detective lets out a breath. "Sorry."

"I understand. You were scared, are scared. But the doctors assure me she is going to be fine."

"What is this weapon that stops our biotics?"

Arelia lets out a sigh as her eyes look down the hallway toward Tif.

"Don't be mad at her, I was…well not pleasant when I came in."

Arelia smiles a little at her friend, "Don't tell me you are taking lessons from Shepard."

Valya returns the smile. "So? What is it?" The former commando can tell she is asking something she shouldn't. She can see the struggle in her friend.

"I hope to know more soon." Arelia squeezes her shoulder.

Valya nods her understanding. She is close to crossing a line; she needs to stop expecting answers.

"Do you mind if I look in on her?"

"No go ahead. She just fell asleep. And Arelia?"

"Yes?"

"Thanks and I'm sorry. I don't mean to put you in an awkward position."

Arelia nods and heads down the hall.

"Akira?"

"Yes what is it?" The medical examiner approaches.

"Dava will be asleep a while. How about I join you in picking up that pizza?"

"Sounds good."

EARTH

It has been a very long week in Dalkeith. Shepard took Liara and Svaari to the place where she followed the Batarian, the place where they found Svaari's mother buried. Shepard volunteered to dig her up but Svaari insisted on helping as did Liara. They brought her body back to the warehouse where Svaari and Liara cleaned the body and dressed her in something Svaari knew her mother would like. Then through official channels they contacted a funeral home and had a proper burial.

While the two asari prepared Svaari's mother's body, Shepard took care of the dead Batarians by burning their bodies. What is nice about this location is that the smell won't draw any suspicions. Shepard also kept watch at night while the two slept in the warehouse to ensure no one else would come looking for Svaari. Aside from a few friends calling her, no one tried to contact the Shadow Broker.

One early morning when the two asari were up and they thought Shepard was asleep she heard Liara ask Svaari if she really meant what she said about not wanting to be the broker anymore. Svaari said yes but didn't know what do to about it. Liara offered to take over and the delight and relief Shepard heard in Svaari's voice brought tears to her eyes. She was so relieved and overjoyed that she squealed a little then quickly became quiet as to not wake Shepard. In that moment Shepard knew that her life would now be forever changed. That Liara would be the Shadow Broker again. It saddened her and left her with a feeling of doom, but she is not sure why.

After the funeral Liara and Shepard spoke a few times about offering Svaari a place to stay in their home on Thessia while she grieves and figures out what to do next. They are in their hotel room packing. They want to head to Chicago to visit Eva for a few days before heading back home.

"I don't have an issue with it Liara but what about her friends?"

"Elly, I don't think she has very many. Besides, I feel responsible for her somehow."

"Because of Feron? Liara you paid that debt a long time ago. You more than made up for his captivity."

"This isn't because of guilt Elly."

"Isn't it? There is a part of you that has always felt guilty that he was taken when he helped you with my body. It is not your fault he helped you. He knew the risks."

"Elly, I do not want to discuss this. I simply…"

"You never want to discuss it Liara. Don't you think that is a bit odd after a century?"

"Elly."

"Fine Liara fine. But don't give me shit when I don't let go of things." She zips up her bag.

Liara doesn't say anything more. Shepard takes their bags and heads to the warehouse to find out if Svaari is joining them or not.

"Hi you two," says Svaari as she opens the door for them.

"Where….where is all of your equipment?" asks Liara.

All of the monitors, consoles, anything to do with the Shadow Broker is gone. "Last night when you two left I called in a few favors. Since you are taking over Liara I thought you might want some of my stuff. So I had it shipped to Thessia, and before you throw a fit I used a fake name and address to where they are to send it. It will not be linked to you at all."

Shepard sees that Liara is near tears. "I…I don't know what to say Svaari. That …is very kind of you."

"Well it's the least I can do seeing as you are taking over and offering me a place to crash." She gestures to a few bags on the floor.

"So you are coming with us?"

"If the offer is still open? I promise I won't stay at your place forever. I will earn my keep, once I know what I want to do."

Liara pulls her into a great big hug. "Do not worry about that right now Svaari. What about your friends?"

Svaari shrugs her shoulders. "I only have the two asari friends here. They understand I need a change now with my Mom gone. I will stay in touch with them and it's not like it's forever right?"

Liara smiles at her. "Right."

Shepard grabs the bags and brings them to the rental sky car.

"She okay?" asks Svaari. "Is…is she not thrilled with the idea? I don't want to cause trouble between you two."

"Nonsense. She is fine. Things will be just fine. We are stopping in Chicago to visit our daughter before heading to Thessia."

"Yeah you mentioned that. I can stay in a hotel, while you visit. Gives me a chance to check out the place. I have never been there."

"Well we also will be staying in a hotel. Eva and James' place is too small to accommodate us."

"Well I don't want to intrude, so don't worry about me. Just let me know the flight information for when we head to Thessia. You know I have never been? I think it is about time I see my homeland."

"Indeed." Liara wraps her arm around Svaari's shoulders as they leave.

Things are going a little better between Eva and James. Since James came home drunk and he woke with Eva in his arms they talked, they finally talked. Eva did not go into too many details, she didn't have to. But she did finally tell him what she was feeling. How she didn't feel whole anymore, not really a woman well an asari that could satisfy him physically. She spoke how melding is something she fears because the feelings are too close for her she doesn't want him to see a memory that she lets slip.

He was patient and relieved to hear how she felt. It broke his heart when she told him she didn't feel whole. He cannot possibly understand what she is going through, but if it is anything like what he has been going through he wonders how she gets out of bed in the morning. He assured her that the physical thing will come; there is no need to rush it. Lets focus on hugging for now, and kissing said Eva. Eva loves to kiss and she will be damned that that is ruined. So he relented. Now when he comes home from work the first thing he gets from her is a hug and a kiss and he is becoming better at feeling her moods. If it is a quick kiss, she had a bad day. If it is a longer kiss she had a good day.

Lately the kisses have been long and he was surprised and incredibly happy when just two day ago he came home Eva told him she got a job. At first a wave of panic washed over him. Would all her progress be slowed or stopped then felt ashamed at such a thought.

"It's at the convenience store across the street. It's only part-time but it is a start," says Eva. "And I have followed your advice and started writing again."

Since the attack Eva stopped writing and James knew she needed time. Hell he needed time before he could write about it in his journal, but it helped him with his feelings and he shared that with her. Suggested she start writing in a journal just for her. No one ever had to read it.

Today Shepard and Liara arrive. James only knows how to make a few things and Eva said she did not want pasta. She does not want the tastes and smells of pasta to bring her to that night their first apartment was attacked which led to her attack. She apologized profusely at this. James simply pulled her into a hug and said "It's okay. We can get take out."

Eva has been cleaning the apartment. The place is small but it needed a thorough cleaning. James helped as best he could but mainly felt in the way. He is very happy right now seeing the improvement in Eva. She is smiling again. The talk did wonders for her. She was keeping things inside for far too long as was he. It was a scary conversation, but they got through it. He doesn't feel a huge weight is pulling them under anymore. He feels like they are floating now instead of fighting to stay at the surface. It's a nice feeling.

The doorbell rings. "Oh Goddess, they are early!" Eva just got out of the shower. James is already dressed and ready to accept company.

"Take your time Eva, I can handle them for a few minutes," James says through the bathroom door. He checks the door and sure enough he sees Eva's parents. "It's them!" He opens the door. "Hello Liara, Shepard." He starts to extend his hand but Liara will have none of that. She hugs him.

"Hello James." Liara walks past him in search for her daughter.

"She will be out shortly." He looks at Shepard whose hand is extended. He takes it and Shepard pulls him close and pats him on the back.

"Good to see you James. How are you?"

"Good thank you."

After they enter he closes the door. "Can I get you anything to drink?"

"Beer?" asks Shepard.

"If you have a bottle of wine opened I will take that," says Liara.

"One beer and red wine if I am not mistaken?"

"Yes thank you."

"Please make yourself comfortable. I will be right out."

Shepard can see that Liara is not all that happy with the apartment. The place is way too small and feels old. They both sit on the couch. Svaari did not want to intrude so she insisted on not joining them. She said she was going to take in the sites.

"Here you go," James hands Liara her glass of red wine and Shepard her bottle of beer. He clinks his beer bottle with hers before taking a swig. "How was your flight?"

"Quite comfortable," says Liara.

"Too long you ask me," says Shepard. "Give me the Normandy any day."

"I believe the transport ships are actually faster now than the Normandy was," says Liara.

James picks up on the tone. The two don't look too happy with each other at the moment. He swallows and looks at them. "Um for dinner I was going to make spaghetti but…"

"Oh I love spaghetti!" says Shepard sitting forward.

James goes quiet.

"What is it James?" asks Liara.

"Eva wanted Chinese tonight, I hope that is okay. There is a place a few blocks from here. I was going to pick it up. Do you two like Chinese?"

"I haven't had Chinese in decades!" says Shepard. She turns to Liara, "Remember those cream cheese puffs we had? Those little pastry things filled with cream cheese." She looks at James almost like a kid in a candy store, "Do they have those?"

James smiles, "They do."

"Great!"

James sees Liara relax a little. Shepard's sudden excitement seems to have broken any tension between the two. "That sounds lovely."

"Hi Mom, Hi Dad, sorry to keep you waiting," says Eva.

Shepard is the first to bolt off the couch and give her daughter a great big hug. "It is so good to see you. How are you?"

"It's hasn't even been two weeks Dad," Eva says with a smile.

Shepard cups her cheek as Liara stands. "I have missed seeing that."

Eva looks at her mother. She hugs her a little less vigorously. "Your father is right," says Liara, "it is nice to see you smile."

Eva looks at James then at the two of them, "Thanks."

"I was thinking we could go for a walk before dinner," says Liara. "I need to stretch my legs." Liara turns to James, "Do you mind if I steal my daughter away James?"

"Not at all."

"I can help you pick up dinner," says Shepard.

"Okay, sure."

Eva grabs her coat. It is a little windy and there is a chill in the air as Fall approaches. She and Liara leave first. In the elevator ride down Eva asks, "So what is this all about? Is Dad going to grill James or something?"

"No honey, not at all. I wanted to talk to you that's all," says Liara.

The elevator doors open and they exit the building walking on the sidewalk.

"How is everything?" asks Liara.

"Well geez Mom, I guess I thought you might want to ease into things instead of just going for the jugular."

Liara gently grabs her wrist. "What are you talking about?"

Eva crosses her arms. "What do you want to know?"

"Honey, why are you getting defensive? I have no intention of making you angry. I am simply worried about you."

"And Dad?"

Liara furrows her brow, "What about her?"

"What is she going to talk to James about? You two are not exactly subtle."

"I wanted to speak with you privately. Your father said she could keep James company that is all."

"So you planned this?"

Liara studies her daughter's body language, her face. She concludes that her daughter is not doing all that well. "I simply want to know how you are doing. I have no agenda here Eva, neither does your father. This is new to us too. We are trying to figure out how best to be here for you. I …I didn't want to have a real conversation with you in front of James in case you felt uncomfortable. I'm sorry Eva. We can go back."

Eva lets out a breath. She lets her arms hang at her sides. "Sorry."

"I'm sorry too. I meant no offense. I am just worried about you."

Eva nods. Liara swears she sees her daughter tear up.

"What is it honey?"

Eva hugs her mother and starts to cry in the middle of the sidewalk. "It's so hard….I…I don't feel like myself anymore. I ….I don't know who I am."

"Come over here," Liara walks her to a nearby bench and they sit. "What do you mean? Is he pressuring you?"

Eva laughs a little, "No! My Goddess he is so patient. I don't think I would be that patient. He has been great. I…I just don't feel like me anymore. I don't know how to explain it." Eva stands. She shakes out her hands. "Can we walk and talk I don't think I can sit and talk about this."

"Of course."

Their walk lasted almost an hour. Eva told her mother about her new job that she is trying to get back into society and not stay home. But she also told her that she is still incredibly fearful. That she has never been so afraid. She saw a Batarian in the shop and she froze. She tried to cover up as best she could. Her co-worker checked him out and took his chit, but still seeing a Batarian, she was not prepared for that at all. She still suffers from nightmares almost every night; the worst is when she has multiple nightmares in the same night. She doesn't get any sleep and James doesn't get any sleep.

"He was sleeping on the couch for a while but now we are in the same bed."

"And has that helped?" asks Liara. She pulls her jacket closer around her neck to fight off the chill of the wind.

"I think so. I just want this over and done Mom. I hate feeling so scared all the time."

"It takes time Eva."

"Ugh I am so sick of hearing that. I mean no offense but how much time! I mean shouldn't I be past this by now?"

"Eva." Liara stops her and looks her in the eye. "You cannot expect to be over this when it happened not two months ago. You are putting way too much pressure on yourself. You have to let yourself grieve. To heal. You cannot honestly think everything would get back to normal so soon."

"That's just it. Why not? Why not?" Eva shrugs her shoulders. "I was raped. Okay. It's done, it's over. Why does it have to stay with me? I feel like I have a stalker over my shoulder questioning my every decision my every action. My mind won't turn off the images. I…." she shakes her head. "I just want this done."

"Honey," Liara takes her hand in hers. "You have to work through it before you can get past it."

"How? You tell me how I am supposed to do that?"

"Everyone is different and heals in their own time Eva. I remember your father when we first realized we had feelings for each other. She was very afraid. Afraid of her own feelings, they were new to her and she was afraid of my feelings. Fear is something you don't just get over. It rears its ugly head every chance it gets and you have to face time and time again honey. That is what your father does still to this day."

"Really? Like in the bedroom?"

"Sometimes yes. Trauma is a funny thing Eva. You learn to move past it but that does not mean you won't see it again or feel what you felt. That still happens with your father."

"You mean flashbacks?"

"Sometimes she sees things yes and I know her mind is back either in the war or before that. But she has tools to help her with that, and I help her when I can."

"I…I didn't realize she still had issues."

"We all have issues honey, some more severe than others. Take the time you need. Don't put a timetable on your healing Eva. You will only grow more and more frustrated." They walk a little in silence. "Have you thought about therapy? I am sure Raina can find a Doctor here for you."

"I…I just don't want to keep talking about it. I want to forget it happened."

Liara stops her again, "But it did happen. And in talking about it might help you deal with the feelings you are having." Liara sees the tears in her daughter's eyes. She waits.

"I'm scared."

"Of what honey?"

"That I won't get better. That I will always be like this, afraid to see who comes into the store. I cannot even imagine talking to a Batarian; I feel such rage when I think about any Batarian."

"And that is why I think you need to work with someone honey. Take care of yourself. Give yourself a chance. It helped your father a great deal when she was having flashbacks from the war. And it might take time; you might have to work with different Doctors until you find the right one. But help is available Eva. I know it's hard but be good to yourself. Do this for yourself. You are worth it."

Eva looks away, "Am I?"

Liara pulls her into a hug and holds her tight. "Of course you are. You are a T'Soni Eva. You are a strong, beautiful, competent, talented, amazing person. You just have to believe it again. You have a support system. You have James, and you have your family. We will help in any way we can honey because we love you and want what is best for you."

Eva starts to softly cry on her mother's shoulder.

"I love you Eva. Your father and I and your sisters, we all love you very much. We hurt when you hurt don't you know that?"

Eva nods her head into her mother's shoulder as she continues to cry. She holds her mother tighter.

"Give yourself time Eva. Show yourself the same patience as James is showing you. It will be a hard road honey, harder than maybe it is right now. But I know you can do it. You are strong enough. And," she holds her at arm's length to make eye contact, "you are worth it. You are worth it Eva, so very worth it." She hugs her daughter again hoping that her words will help, hoping that her daughter will not be so hard on herself. She hurts for her daughter. Liara would love nothing more than to wave her hand and make the pain go away, just make it all go away.

"Thanks Mom," Eva finally says as she wipes her face with her hands. She lets out a breath. "We should probably head back."

So arm in arm they walk back feeding off each other's strength. It will be okay, some day it will be okay. It has to be.