It was going on fifteen minutes since they parked in front of Jay's childhood home. The minute hand on his watch was slowly ticking by signaling the next minute as the couple remained in his car. He didn't want to do this. She did. And they were arguing but it wasn't over the fact that she basically strong-armed him into introducing her to his father. It was over Thanksgiving; it was over a holiday that was still weeks away. She wanted him to come back to D.C. with her and spend it with her family. He wanted her to stay in Chicago and spend it with him and his friends. This was why the time was pushing onto seventeen minutes since they've been parked. It wasn't because Jay was trying to stall. It was because they couldn't see eye to eye.
And he refused to walk inside his father's house with an angry girlfriend and unresolved Thanksgiving Day plans.
Gazing forward at a house he hasn't seen since early in the year, he purposely feels himself prolonging the argument just to avoid getting out of the car. Her guards are parked behind his vehicle probably wondering why they haven't gotten out yet. It's now reached the 20 minute mark. And Erin suddenly realizes what he's trying to do.
"Thanksgiving with your family and Christmas with mine," she ends the debate; she absolutely gives up on fighting on spending the holiday in the capitol.
"Wait," he blinks out of his reverie and looks over at her, "What?"
"I solved it. I'm sort of a problem-solver," she reaches for the handle of the door, "now let's go inside because I'm ready to meet the man who contributed to your conception."
"Can we not refer to him as that?"
Erin doesn't respond. She's already out of the car. Her guards are out too –following at a safe distance. Each of them space and spread out to surround all entry and access points to the Halstead's small single family home. Jay is quicker than he expected, jumping out and slamming his car door shut before jogging to catch up to her. He grabs her arm, gently pulling her to a stop, "Erin. Erin. Babe," he's tugging her towards him, turning her to face his pleading eyes, "before we go inside I just want to say don't let anything he says get to you."
"Okay Jay," she pats his chest kindly.
"I'm serious Erin," he tightens his hold on her arm, "I'm so fucking serious because he's unpredictable and he has a way of ruining things for me, good things, he ruins the best things I have going for me and right now that's you and that's why I didn't want him anywhere near you because he has a way of killing everything that he touches," her guards stepped forward at his choice of words, "figuratively speaking I mean, guys you can relax," they took a step back.
She pats his cheek with her opened palm. Her body leant forward close enough for her lips to brush across his, "I love you."
"I love you too."
"And I'm not going anywhere."
"You promise?"
"I promise," she drops her hand in order to hold up her pinky, "I pinky promise." He laughs but he does find himself humoring her by wrapping his own pinky around hers.
And Jay realized that it may not have been fair of him to promise her to stay because by the look on his dad's face the second he opens the front door, he knows that the elder Halstead had no intention of being on his best behavior. The Cheshire grin on his face should have been warning enough but Jay went against his better judgment. He ignored it and with his hand pressed against the lower back of his girlfriend, he escorted her inside.
"So the guys at the bar were right…" his father shut the door behind them.
Even though he had just arrived, Jay already sounded exhausted, "Right about what?"
His father happily approached, "You dating the first daughter of the fucking country, Jay, my boy," his hand clasped around his son's shoulder, "I'm so proud of you. At least you know if you blow through that rock star money of yours you won't ever go broke."
"Dad-"
"And she's absolutely gorgeous!" His father exclaimed; his eyes obviously scanning her body and lingering at her chest, "A fine specimen she is."
"I knew this was a bad idea," Jay pulled his girlfriend behind him, "I'll talk to you later dad."
"Wait," the elder Halstead shouted, taking a stand in front of the door to prevent their exit, "um, you're right I guess, maybe we could um, start over?"
This was new. This was unexpected. His dad never apologized. Well, technically he didn't apologize but his dad never hinted towards an apology and he never admitted when he was wrong. His dad's persona played a large role in shaping Jay. His inability to apologize, his lack of accepting and admitting when he's wrong, his intimidating stature and his failure to control and filer through the thoughts that enter his head and the words that leave his mouth have all passed down from the senior Halstead to the youngest one. It seems to have skipped Will all together. Lucky bastard.
Jay didn't trust easily. He didn't believe his father's words and he still had every intention of leaving, but his girlfriend, his ridiculously nice and selfless girlfriend had nodded her head, gave his dad a smile he truly didn't deserve and walked further into the house after releasing his hand from hers. His dad gave him a wink of the eye before following her further into his childhood home. Jay maneuvers around him, moving in closer to his girlfriend as she walks slowly down the hallway connecting the front of the house to the kitchen and the living room. She's looking at the photos on the wall, completely oblivious to the tension and the dynamic between father and son. Jay's arm finds permanent residence around her waist; he has no intention of moving it, at least until they leave. She comes to a stop in front of a family photo; her fingers stretching out to run across the wooden frame, "Is that your mom?"
He barely heard her question, "Yes," his voice sounds a little weak. This subject gets to him. It'll always get to him. He brings his fingers up to trace along the photo in sync with hers, "It was a year before she died. It was one of the best years of my life."
Erin has never suffered the loss of a parent. Her mother is still in her life. Her father is one of her favorite people. She cannot imagine a life without either one of them in it. She couldn't imagine having the relationship that Jay has with his father with her own dad. Yeah, they bicker and can sometimes fight like cats and dogs but it was all out of love. He was her dad. And nothing and no one will ever change that. He always had her best interest in mind and even if she never agreed with every parenting decision he's made, he's always done what he thought was best. Erin removes her hand from the photo just as her boyfriend's father approaches and stands on the opposite side of her, "You see this picture here," he nods towards a faded father and son photo hung up on the wall, "that's me and Will; I think that was two years after my wife died."
"Where were you?" She glanced to her right to look at Jay, but it was his father who answered.
"…probably off in the garage somewhere being antisocial and up to no good."
Jay simply rolled his eyes; his father's words bouncing off an armor he's built up over the years, "I was probably working on my music. Will was the prodigy child who was hardly ever grounded. Me, on the other hand-"
"…was bad and just plain hard-headed," his father grumbled, eyes focused on the photo of he and Will; "I punished the bad child and rewarded the good. It was hard raising two kids, especially after my wife died but I did what I could and they both turned out alright."
"…with no help from you," Jay retorted in what he thought was under his breath but his father had heard it. He always hears it.
"You've always been ungrateful," he dryly chuckled in response, "one would have thought that with age you would have gotten wiser but it seems that's another thing that has skipped over you."
"…the apple doesn't fall too far from the tree, huh?"
"You should have taken up comedy instead of music," his father retorted.
And if Erin thought the atmosphere was tense before, it was ten times worse now. Father and son stood face to face, practically chest to chest and neither one of them would back down. Erin maneuvered herself between them, using her strength to push the two of them apart, "Hey babe," she's facing Jay; both of her hands are cupping his face, "we can go now. I'm ready."
Jay isn't even looking at her. He's looking past her; he's focused in on his father's glare as he heaves a frustrated sigh. Erin's hands caressed his chiseled jawline, coaxing him to look away from his father and towards her. He refused. He couldn't. He was too angry. And she would see all of that. It was easier for him to direct it towards his dad; he could never look at her with such hate. And she knew that; it was why she kept coaxing his head downwards to angle it to meet hers. He couldn't help it though; he couldn't pull his eyes away from his father's gaze.
"Before you two leave," Jay had only pulled his eyes away from his dad's gaze the second the older man rested his hand on Erin's shoulder, "I wanted to introduce you both to someone."
His eyes widened, his pulsed race and his body simmered in anger, "Please don't touch her."
Erin simply stared up at Jay, remaining in his tightened arms as he focused his glare on his father. She tried for the third time to force him to meet her eyes, but he just couldn't. Not now. Not when his dad is still in the room, invading on a moment. Not when his father is smirking; his face sporting its typical mischievous glint. Not when his father's hand was currently resting on her shoulder, tainting her pureness with his impurity. Her guards remained outside and every part of Jay wishes they had come in. Isn't there some rule that says they'll take down any one who touches the first daughter? Probably not; it's probably just wishful thinking he supposes. Jay has never claimed to be patient or kind; it's why he knocks his father's hand off of her shoulder, "Please don't touch her again."
"Jay…" she whispers; her tone comes out in a warning.
"Follow me," his father turns on his heel and continues to walk in the direction of the kitchen.
And Jay had half a mind to just grab his girlfriend's hand and pull her outside, but the only thing that stops him, that gets in his way is her acting first. She's taking his hand and she's pulling him further into the house. Erin's following behind his father and he has no choice but to follow behind her. He has no intention of letting her out of his sight. His father made it into the kitchen first, followed by Erin and lastly Jay. The latter of the three coming to an abrupt stop at the sight of a woman –a woman a few years older than him.
"Jay," his father uttered his name, "I want you to meet someone near and dear to me. Come here sweetheart," he waved the younger woman over, "this is Tanya." She sauntered over to him, a seductive smile on her face as she wrapped her arms around his father's neck. Tanya brought her lips forward and smeared them against the older Halstead's mouth. The second the kiss ended, Tanya pulled away and that's when he noticed it –the sparkling engagement ring on her finger.
Jay couldn't breathe.
His dad's lips twitched upwards.
Tanya blushed.
Erin narrowed her eyes.
"Please don't tell me that's what I think it is," his tone disbelieving as he approached the beaming couple, "Please don't tell me that's mom's ring." He yanked her hand a little harder than he intended but to be honest he was too angry to care.
"Jay," Erin asserted, but he ignored her.
"Tell me you're not that stupid!" Jay is shouting now. His voice is no longer whispered or even; it's loud and bolstering. It actually causes Jay's father to take a step back and Erin to take a step forward, "Is that mom's ring?"
Tanya glanced down at the gold band wrapped around her finger, "We're getting married," she grinned, biting her bottom lip, "and we want you to be there." And Jay found himself not angry at his father for moving on, not angry at the fact that he's moving on with someone young enough to be Jay's sister and not even angry at the fact that she's most likely with him for the money she thinks he has. His dad is broke. And Jay knows that once Tanya finds out, she'll pack away most of his father's worldly possessions –including the ring- and ditch him in the middle of the night. He's not angry at any of that because he doesn't care. He couldn't care less about his dad after the way he treated him growing up. All he cared about in this moment is the ring wrapped around Tanya's finger.
"Give me that ring," Jay refused to allow the conversation to steer off course, "either you can give me the ring or I'll take it from you." His father gained the courage to step forward.
"I would like to see you try son."
Jay responded with a dry chuckle. One that was abruptly cut off the second Erin stepped between him and his father, holding her hands out to keep them apart, "You were right," she's looking directly in her boyfriend's eyes, "We shouldn't have come here."
He stepped forward, an arm wrapping around her waist as his other weaved through her hair and he kissed her. He roughly pressed his lips against hers before pulling away and glancing up at his father, "I want that ring."
"It was never yours."
"It was my mother's ring," he said through gritted teeth.
"And who do you think bought it and gave it to her?" His dad's arms crossed over his chest as he waited for his son to answer and when Jay took too long to respond, his father finished, "I did."
"I thought Will was keeping possession of it. Mom gave it to him and told him to hold onto it for either me or him or whichever one of us gets married first."
"Will gave it back," his father shrugged his shoulders, "Natalie's mother handed down a ring from her grandmother for him to use whenever he pulls his head out of his ass and proposes."
"Dad…"
"And you want to know why he gave it back to me? Why he didn't give it to you? It's because we both know you will never settle down, you're too much of a coward to do so. I'm proud of you son, I must admit, dating the president's hot daughter. Wow," his father began to clap slowly to back up his amazement, "you've absolutely scored, but just because you're in a relationship doesn't mean it'll last. Yeah, she's hot and filthy rich but beauty fades and knowing you, you'll ditch her the second she starts to sport a wrinkle or a stretch mark."
"You don't know what you're talking about. You don't know anything about my relationship."
His dad laughed at that, "Oh but I do. I know you better than you know yourself and I know it'll never last with you. So, why would I save your mother's ring for you to use when I know it'll do nothing but collect dust in the back of your closet?"
Jay swallows roughly before stepping away from her, a dismayed look in his eyes as her hands slip away from his. It's almost as if she can read him, feel what he's going to say through his body language, the hardness in his chest and the rigidity in his muscles.
"Dad, I swear…"
"What is your problem?" His father retorted, arms crossed over his hardened chest, "I'm proud of you. You've been dying for me to be proud of you and now that I am, here you are being ungrateful once again. Why can't you just thank me? I complimented you. I complimented your girl. I even offered you a pat on the back and here you are, acting like the same old Jay Halstead, selfish, ungrateful and completely egotistical."
"You're proud of me for dating Erin Voight. That's the only reason you're proud."
"Is that so bad?" His father questioned, throwing his hands into the air as he waited for an answer and when no response came, he continued, "You're dating up. Why can't a father be proud of that? You've got yourself a fine woman, Jay, a fine, fine-"
"Just stop!" He shouted, shoving his father out of his way. He hears Tanya speak, he hears her attempt to play peacemaker but she's barely old enough to dictate the terms of his relationship with his dad so he simply casts her a warning look, one that shuts her up immediately because if she continued sprouting out nonsense then he was going to positively give her a piece of his mind, a piece filled with vulgar language and instruction on where she can shove her advice.
His father took a step closer; his bulky and tall figure looking pretty intimidating to everyone in the room that wasn't Jay Halstead. He could take his dad. He was younger, about the same height, stronger, bulkier and tougher. Jay wasn't the fragile little boy who once cowered away when his father reprimanded, scolded, disciplined and chided him. He was a grown man. He was a man who no longer needed to suck up his father's complaints and insults. He was a man who didn't have to stand and take this. And Mr. Halstead saw that realization come across his son's face; he saw the moment the shift occurred. He took a step towards his son and surprisingly his son didn't take a step back, "Calm yourself, boy."
"Don't call me boy."
"Talking back," an infuriating grin stretched across his father's face, "your mother would be so disappointed by that. Before she died, she told you to mind your manners."
"…and she told you to be a good man, a good father and it seems we both failed her."
For a brief moment he awaited a response from his father and when nothing was said in return, Jay sighed and grabbed Erin's hand, gently –but a little forcefully- pulling her out of the house. She went without argument. No other words were shared between her, Tanya and Mr. Halstead. She watched as he closed the front door behind them before he turned to her, his eyes boring into her own. After another brief moment, his arms are drawing her into him, enveloping her into a hug that he needed more than ever.
"I'm sorry," Jay started, his voice desperate and hoarse as he buried his face into the side of her head; her curtain of hair shielding his face from the approaching crowd and chatter –the paparazzi, "I…I'm sorry Erin," he said, "I would understand if you wanted to call this quits."
Erin's heart broke at his words.
"I won't try to change your mind. I won't be a bastard ex who releases all your private details just for a payout. I'll go cordially if that's what you want."
"I don't want any of that," she's shaking her head, preparing for an argument, "I'm not leaving you, I made a promise remember," her hand rose to caress the side of his face, "I would never leave you. Never, and that'll never change no matter what," She leaned forward to press her lips against his. Her lips moved against still, frozen lips. Lips that was motionless due to the anger bubbling within him, anger stemming from the approaching paparazzi.
His dad called the fucking paparazzi.
Erin pulled her mouth away and rested her forehead against his hard chest, just inches below his chin. She could hear the commotion starting to surround them. The moment was ruined. The paparazzi were at his father's house, each one of them spread out on the sidewalk for two reasons: 1) her guards wouldn't let them walk any closer and 2) the sidewalk was public property; the front lawn wasn't. She wrapped her arms around his waist in order to hold him in place, closing her eyes and desperately praying that the paparazzi would just take a hint and leave. They didn't. Instead, they started shouting questions.
How was it meeting the parents?
How serious are you guys getting?
Do we see a wedding in the near future?
What about a baby?
When is your new album coming out?
How did meeting Jay's father go?
With him standing wrapped up in her arms, she could feel his body tensing up with each question being asked. His dad had called the paparazzi at some point either before they arrived or at some time throughout the short evening. Mr. Halstead's motive was completely unknown, but at this point, a motive, wouldn't mean a thing to Jay. He was far too pissed. She began running her hands up and down his back in an attempt to calm him down, "Just breathe."
"…this is fucking ridiculous, Er," he said through gritted teeth, following her advice and breathing in and out in a sporadic rhythm, "I swear." His arms tightened around her hips.
"You have to even out your breaths babe," she instructed, demonstrating with slow and even inhales and exhales; "See…just like that."
It would have worked if the questions had stopped. It would have worked if his father and Tanya didn't open up the front door. She truly believed it would have worked if one of the paparazzi didn't call out her name. But, because of a combination of all of that, it didn't work and he pulled himself out of her arms and stormed over towards the group of paparazzi.
"Atwater," Erin shouted, pointing towards Jay; he got the message. Don't let him reach them.
The paparazzi and photographers took immediate steps back when they noticed the hands of her boyfriend clench into hard fists. He was moving at a quick pace, taking large steps in an effort to get to them as soon as possible. His intent was clear. His method to inflict harm was obvious. If it weren't for her guard grabbing his arm and pulling him in the direction of the car, he would have swung at the first paparazzi he reached.
"I get it," Kevin asserted, pulling the car keys from Halstead's pocket, "I truly get it, but you can't do that," he unlocked the car before placing the keys back in Jay's hands, "if you do what I think you want to do, you will either get arrested or you'll be plastered all over every media outlet which is the opposite of what you want right now. Just get in the car and go home."
Jay swallowed. His Adam's apple bobbed. He glanced over his shoulder watching his father and his father's girlfriend descend from the porch stairs to walk towards the paparazzi. He averted his eyes from them to his girlfriend who was standing in the same place where he left her, watching him. He relaxed. His shoulders loosened. He chanced a glance at Atwater to nod at him before glancing back at his girlfriend, "Come on Er," he waved for her, "let's get out of here."
-x-
Erin snorted into her wine glass as she listened in on the story the host of the night was detailing about the night. The fundraising gala was coming to an end. And she was pleasantly happy about it. Ever since they left his father's home yesterday, the dynamic hadn't been the same. She gave him time to himself, choosing to sleep on the couch even against his objection, so he could use that moment alone to gather his thoughts and emotions. She wanted to be there for him. She really did, but she knew him and she knew that she had to be careful when helping him through this only because of his view on his emotions –on feeling vulnerable.
Jay's arm was draped around the back of her chair. He had been physically present at the gala, but mentally he was somewhere else. Mentally, he was back at his childhood home. His fingers caressed against his girlfriend's bare shoulder as he thought back to yesterday's events. His dad was getting married to a woman half his age. His dad had given her the ring his mother had worn until her death. He betrayed her. And in doing so, he betrayed his children.
Erin sat her empty glass of wine down before standing up to clap. Everyone in the room was clapping. It was a round of applause to celebrate the amount of money the fundraiser earned by the end of the night. Once again, he was physically present but mentally elsewhere. He couldn't grasp his mind around it. What woman would even want to be with his father? His father was selfish; his father was a lying bastard. He couldn't clear his mind long enough to stand and clap; instead, he remained the only person in the room sitting down.
"Stand up, Jay," she asserted, before offering her hand to help him up. Instead of using it to get up, he grasped it firmly and pulled her down to sit on his lap. She chuckled. She was lightly buzzed from the open bar and the frequent passing of the wait-staff holding trays of wine glasses.
He buried his face into her neck, "You're warm."
"And we're in public," she swats his arms from around her. Fortunately, everyone was still standing, clapping and focused on the stage. She focused her visual attention back onto the stage, but her words were directed at him, "I told you that you didn't have to come with me. You're distracted and it's obvious how much you don't want to be here."
"Erin…"
"I'm not making you talk about it but can you at least stand and clap."
After rising back onto her feet to join back into the applause, Jay rose with her this time, only for a different reason. His phone was ringing. His brother's name was flashing across the screen. He wiggled it in front of her face before pointing over his shoulder. She heard a faint greeting when he answered as he walked away and maneuvered through the crowd. The host began continuing his final speech, speaking over the round of applause that refused to die down.
"I also want to thank Ms. Voight," he nodded in her direction, "and her family for their generous donation. We wouldn't be still operating if it wasn't for them." She continued to clap even if the smile on her face was a bit too forced. She hated the attention. She didn't want the recognition.
The host continued to call names and announce gratitude for everyone who donated no matter how much or how little. Every donation mattered. When the applause started to simmer down and everyone began retaking their seats, the thought never dawned on her to follow. Jay was still gone. He had left a little over ten minutes ago. She collected her clutch and began making her way through the stream of circular tables organized in the dining hall. She nodded and waved when it was appropriate to the other donors who noticed her and didn't get a chance to personally speak to her face to face. When she made it to the hallway leading to the restroom, she spotted him pacing. His brother was on speaker.
And Erin knew she shouldn't eavesdrop but she didn't want to interrupt the conversation, the good news that Will was sharing. She didn't know much about it because she came in on the tail end of the conversation. All she truly picked up was something about a charity concert he's organizing for District 21. She wanted to walk in on that moment. She wanted to clear her throat, or turn the corner and allow her heels to click and signal her entrance. She wanted to alert him of her presence but she stopped and hesitated the second a new subject was introduced.
"Dad called me."
Her boyfriend started pacing faster, "I don't want to talk about it, especially with you."
"What did I do?"
"You gave your father our mother's ring."
"First, he's our father and secondly, yeah, I didn't think you would care."
"Why the fuck wouldn't I care that you gave our dead mother's ring to our alcoholic father?"
Will whispered, "Jay, calm down."
"Don't tell me to calm down. Don't do that. Because I have every right to be pissed! Do you know that your father proposed to a woman who is young enough to be our sister?" Jay didn't wait for an answer; he continued as the anger continued to build, "Do you know that I introduced Erin to your dad and he decided to call the paparazzi before we got there so they would be out front by the time we left? I keep giving him chance after chance after chance and I'm done! I want that ring back and then I want nothing to do with him."
"Jay…"
"He likes you," Jay interrupts his brother, "if you ask, he just might give it to you."
"If I honestly thought he would listen to me, I would, but we both know he's a stubborn man."
Erin was on the verge of entering the hallway for the sole purpose of consoling and comforting her upset boyfriend. She actually took one step forward, but abruptly stopped at Jay's next words to his brother, "Are you good for anything? You're our manager and you get paid big bucks for that job but you barely do anything but shout and remind me just how disappointed you are in me and want me to change my attitude. Why do I even keep you around? I don't need you to get that ring back; I'll just get Erin to do it."
"Erin?" this confuses both Will and Erin. She's curious about what exactly she can do to get him his mother's engagement ring back.
"Yeah, maybe she can use her lock picking skills to break in his house and take it off her finger."
And after that Erin makes a decision. She turns on her heels and walks away; she's furious, angry, irate and annoyed. That particular piece of information was supposed to stay between them, him and her, just them, not Will and whoever was in the room with him while the call was on speaker. She walked back into the dining hall and spotted her empty seat; it appears that people were starting to leave since the event was over, but Jay was her ride and she couldn't go anywhere without him.
She can take a cab. She has a key to his place now.
No, he would worry if he came back to find her gone.
She'll wait. She goes up to the bar and slides onto one of the empty bar stools. While the main dining hall was clearing out, individuals who weren't ready to leave were starting to crowd around the bar to enjoy the last hour of the open bar. Conversations were held on either side of her, discussing the highlights of the night and being the social person that she is, she would have joined into one of them even if she didn't know the person, but she couldn't find it in herself to try. His brother and his band know about a part of her that she only told Jay about and that scares her. This is how information is leaked to the public. And he doesn't care because it doesn't affect his reputation. It doesn't affect his sales or his job.
She takes a calming breath. She tries to think of a positive which is truly hard for a pessimistic or a realistic person. Maybe Will didn't have the phone on speaker? Maybe after she left Jay swore or threatened him to secrecy? Maybe they wouldn't think it was as big a deal as Erin thought it was? Maybe Will wasn't paying attention and zoned out his brother? Erin felt her shoulders loosen up and her body relax. That moment of anger, the episode of rage was passing by. This wasn't a big deal. She can pick and choose her battles and this shouldn't be one of them. Erin sat her clutch down onto the bar top and released a long exhale of breath that she honestly didn't know she was holding in. Erin turned in her seat to face the crowd, scanning the groups of people mingling with one another about whatever topics that came to mind of the upper class. She finds herself people-watching, taking in the variety of individuals from staff to donors and everyone in between; she found herself absorbed into their conversation, but the sound of glass clinking against the bar top alerts her to something being set down behind her.
"I didn't order this," Erin said aloud after turning around to see a beer in front of her. She couldn't recall ordering a drink, nevertheless a beer, but out of the corner of her eye, she saw him smiling at her as he approached.
"I think I owed you one."
"You don't owe me anything, babe," the smile that stretched across her face was sincere
There were no available seats beside her so he simply moved closer to stand, "I beg to differ."
Because of his close proximity, she could feel his body heat radiating off him every time his leg brushed against hers or his hand rubbed against her knee. She lifted her beer and took a large swig of the beverage before setting it back down, "I'm not mad at you, you know?"
"I'm not so sure about that."
Her eyes glanced down to his hand caressing her thigh, "I was mad," she revises her statement and averts her eyes up to catch his gaze, "emphasis on the past tense of the verb."
"Erin…" he goads.
"I overheard your conversation with Will. I didn't mean to eavesdrop but I went looking for you because you had been gone for so long," she admitted, head bowing in shame, "I heard Will is planning a charity concert because he figures it would be a good way to show your fans another side to you guys. I think that's a good idea."
"It's going to be in Newark in early December."
Erin nods silently as he continues.
"And all of the proceeds will go to a charity of our choosing."
Erin nods again.
"Alright, that's enough," he grabbed the edge of her stool to turn it to face him, "What's wrong, and don't say nothing and don't say you're not upset. I know you pretty well at this point and I know something is wrong so tell me what it is Erin and maybe I can fix it?"
"I heard you talking to Will about your dad too."
"You caught that part?" He took a noticeably large step back and brought his hand up to his face, dragging his palm down it, "You misinterpreted what I said."
"How did I misinterpret you saying you'll get me to break into your dad's house to steal the ring?" She struggled to suppress the rising anger, "That seemed pretty self-explanatory. It's hard to misinterpret a statement that's as blatant and straight to the point as that one."
"I wasn't serious, Er. I was just angry and speaking from emotion."
She didn't give him a response. She just lifted the beer and brought the bottle to her lips.
"Come on Er, we should get out of here." He reaches for her wrist and starts to gently tug her.
"I told you that in confidence," she muttered, setting her empty beer bottle down softer than her anger had expected, "and you told your brother."
"I threatened him to stay quiet."
"And how do you know that he will?"
"You'd be surprised the long list of things I know about Will that I've been waiting forever to be able to hold over his head. The opportunity just so happened to present itself."
"Just for the record I'm not supporting blackmail," she slides off her stool and adjusts the skirt portion of her dress, "but I approve of your methods Mr. Halstead."
He smirked, "Anything for my lady," he whispered; his hot breath ghosts over her neck making her shiver despite the lack of chill in the room.
And she felt somewhat relieved that hopefully Will would keep his mouth shut. She didn't need any type of headline coming out that would impact her dad's percentage in the polls. It's November and a year from now will be election night. The last election night her father will experience because if he were to win, after these next four years, he'll be retiring from politics.
He would deserve it.
He's done a lot for the people only for the country to remain somewhat divided with people putting party over country. He deserved the break.
Erin closed in the small distance between them and wrapped her arms around his neck. His mouth hovered in front of hers moments after the crowd started to dwindle down and someone accidentally bumped into the back of him. He used it to his advantage. He sealed his warm lips against hers, moving them in sync until they were forced to break away due to a lack of oxygen. Stupid air that the body required to survive. His forehead rested against hers and for the first time since he left his father's house, he felt the tension leaving his shoulders. All he needed was the love of his life in his arms to calm him down.
-x-
Jay was almost finished chopping up some fresh parsley when he felt Erin's arms wrapping around his waist, her head coming to rest between his shoulder blades. She nuzzles her face into his back and her words come out muffled causing him to strain to hear her, "I have something for you babe," he glances down when she starts to unravel her arms from around his waist, "I actually sent one of my guys to make a copy of it," she opens up the palm of her hand.
And he sees it.
It's a key.
"It's the key to my condo," she starts to explain the second he turns around in her arms, completely forgetting about chopping the rest of the parsley, "I figured…I wanted you to be able to come and go as you please. I want to take this next step with you. I have a key to your place and I want you to have a key to mine."
"You didn't have to give me one because I gave you one."
"That's not why I'm doing it," she tucked the key into the pocket of his jeans, "I'm doing it because this is the next step and we're building a life together and a part of doing that is this."
"Thanks…Erin," he whispered, bringing his lips down to peck her forehead, "this means a lot."
"You've been through a lot these last couple of days and maybe we should talk about it; it'll help you get through any rough days up ahead."
"I don't want to even think about that," he wraps his arms around her waist, "not when there's much better things to think about, or better things to do, like me kissing you," he leans down to brush his lips against hers as his hand steadily caresses the side of her face, "the only thing that gets me through my really rough days is thinking that maybe if I don't screw up, I could have the chance to wake up next to you every morning."
"And that's why you now have a key to my place. You can come and go as you please."
Jay grinned just as he turned around to resume chopping up the remainder of the parsley. Once he finished the parsley and pushed it to the side, he grabbed for the rinsed tomatoes and began to chop them into small, fine pieces. He hummed to himself, a melody that lets Erin know that despite the last few days, he's happy, but she couldn't beat down the curiosity within her, wondering about the ring and the true meaning it had with him.
"Jay…" he stops humming, signaling that he's listening, and waiting for her to continue, "Are you really okay?" She notices him sit the knife down, "I just mean…I saw how upset you were about the ring and I know you've been trying to get past it or focus on something else and I guess what I'm really asking is it just because the ring was your mom's that had you so upset?"
He brushes his hands along his pants, "I uh," he cleared his throat, "my mom wore that ring and you know how much my mother meant to me."
"Yeah I know," she moves in closer, waiting for him to turn and face her, "I also know that there's more. You knew Will had it and you weren't too bothered by it, but once you found out your dad had it and gave it to someone else, you almost blew up."
"It's really not important," he turns back around to resume cutting but she reaches for his arm, forcing him to stop and face her, "Don't undermine your feelings. It is important. Whatever it is I want to hear because I saw firsthand just how upset it made you and I want you to trust me with the truth. I won't judge you. I just want to know why it bothers you now when it didn't bother you in the past. I just want to know what's going through your head."
Jay lifted his head and met her eyes. He looked into her hazel orbs and felt himself being mesmerized by her gaze. He inhaled a sharp breath and tucked his hands into his front pockets, "I know I have a reputation and I know I had commitment issues," she couldn't help the smile that graced her face when he referred to his commitment issues in the past tense; she wanted to acknowledge it, but now wasn't the time, "I know I never saw myself settling down or finding a girl that I really saw myself having a future with and that's why I didn't care in the past. I didn't care what Will did with it. I didn't mind him holding it, keeping it and using it. I didn't care at all because I figured that I would never need it, but now…" he drifted off and she moved in closer.
"But now…" she prodded with a soft nudge.
"But now I want it. I'm not proposing. I'm not hinting to when or if I will ever propose but seeing that ring on her finger made me know it didn't belong there. It belonged on yours one day and to know that it'll never be on your finger did something to me. It…it pissed me off and I just wanted to hit something because it's not fucking fair that he gets to keep it and give it to someone he honestly probably doesn't even love and I think he did it to spite me. But, she doesn't deserve that ring. It's an antique. And I trusted Will to hold it, my mom trusted him too."
"Jay," she whispered the second he lifted her left hand.
"I don't know when or if I'll ever be ready to get married but seeing that ring on her finger put things in perspective and I wanted that for you, but she's wearing it and it's tainted now and that's it…that's what that ring meant. Sounds pretty stupid, huh?"
She's silent for a second too long and his head hangs low. She's seen such a change in him from the moment he bumped into her outside that coffee shop in April, and now in November, he giving her a key to his place and suggesting marriage at some point in the future. Erin can barely breathe; she's clutching her chest with her hand resting over her heart and the second she notices her silence stretched out for a little too long she speaks, "No," she answers his question, "that's not stupid at all. That's one of the smartest, most genuine and sincere things I've ever heard."
She looked at him. She really looked at him. She looked into his blue eyes and she saw everything his words couldn't say. He wanted that ring for their future. He wanted that ring for her. He may have had no plans to propose any time soon but he actually thought about it, the thought has crossed his mind and cemented itself into the crevices of his brain. It was so firm that he was pissed and thinking of every possible plan and way in which he could get the ring back just to hold it until he's ready to slide it onto her finger.
God, this woman will be the death of him.
He immediately closes in the distance between them, smearing his lips against hers, forcing her back and out of the kitchen until the back of her legs hit his dining room table. She sits upon the unsteady piece of four-legged furniture and begins to pull at whatever article of clothing that gets in her way –whether it's on her or on him. Articles of clothing are thrown over their shoulders, onto lampshades, the floor, chairs and really any piece of furniture that had the unfortunate luck to be in a landing position for their shirts, pants, socks and shoes.
She hops further onto the table, crawling back and laying back and Jay knows that after this moment, he'll never look at this table or this room for that matter the same. She's embedded herself into every part of his life, into every room in his penthouse. Her scent was seeped into his pores. Her voice and smile was embedded in his memory. Every aspect of his life was intertwined with that of Erin Lindsay Voight and he surprisingly found no problem with it.
"Erin," it's a whispered oath, a promise and then he's pushing forward and stretching her in the best and the most fulfilling way possible. Her nails dig into the table as she struggles to search for something, anything to hold. She cried when he slipped inside her; she moaned when he pushed forward. He buries himself inside of her and then stops, forcing her to peel her eyes open.
"Why aren't you moving?"
His eyes are slammed shut, "Erin, I…I can't be…I can't go slow. I can't be gentle." He swallows hard. She runs her hands over the back of his and grips his forearms in an effort to use him to pull her body upwards. She gasps and moans when the movement causes for him to slip deeper inside of her. His eyes slam shut again, "Shit."
"I love you Jay," she suppresses the urge to moan, "and I need you to move." She releases his arms and lets her body fall back against the table just as he pulls out and then slams back in. She gasps when the table rocks beneath her.
He opens his eyes to look down at her, "I love you too."
His movements are erratic. He's pumping his hips forwards and backwards, in and out and in and out. The table is creaking; he fears it'll give out. He's pushing it to its limit. Jay dropped his forehead to Erin's shoulder, squeezing his arms around her waist a little tighter as he fucks her hard into the table. He lifts himself up and runs his hands down her legs, gripping her thighs to pull her closer to the edge of the table. He pumps faster. He circles her bundle of nerves roughly as his hips piston against hers. She stared at him, watching the concentration in his face and the clench of his jaw as he slammed into her, "I…" she wanted to say something, anything, but she couldn't. And that did wonders to his male pride and ego.
"Erin!"
Her name fell from his lips and before long, he was pounding into her, his hands bracing himself as they rested on either side of her head. Jay nearly collapsed on top of her when he juddered and released his seed into her welcoming body. He sighed in absolute bliss, nuzzling his face in the crook of her neck as her hand came to his back to trace nonsensical patterns along his slick skin.
As their passion for one another simmered down and they slowly fell from their high together, her face buried in the crook of his neck, warm breath puffing out harshly against his skin, he was disinclined to move. That warmth, that security, that bone-deep feeling of pure ecstasy he felt while wrapped up in her was absolute heaven. All Jay knew –which kind of freaked him out- was that he wanted to spend the rest of his mornings like this, he wants to spend all his days with her in his arms and by his side. When you've never felt like this before, it's natural to be scared, it's normal to be afraid that this moment, this feeling and all of this undeserved bliss could be taken away from you at any moment.
"I love you."
Those three words burned his tongue, completely scorched his taste buds, but he couldn't keep them to himself; she already knew how he felt. And he wanted to keep reminding her.
"I love you so much."
And to utter them while still inside of her, where they're both naked and vulnerable and absolutely, completely, whole-heartedly in love made the sentiment that much more meaningful.
Erin shifted beneath him, a sleepy smile on her face as she looked up, reached up and ran her fingers through his hair, "I love you too."
He turned his head and placed a soft kiss against her wrist as she moved her hand from his hair to trail along his jaw; he followed that last kiss with a soft kiss to her lips.
While she was distractedly caressing the side of his face, he carefully pulled out and lifted her up into his arms. He didn't care about the unfinished dinner sitting on the kitchen counter. All he cared about was the nakedly warm woman in his arms, the one that he was carrying to his bedroom and the same one that apparently claimed a side of the bed as her own. She shuffled beneath the covers and he crawled in behind her, being the big spoon to her little one. He had every intention on enjoying this moment because the next week was going to be busy –charity dinner, flying out to Los Angeles, and the award show. He tightened his arm around her waist and pulled her even tighter against his chest; his fingers traced designs and patterns along her flat stomach as he began brushing the softest of kisses against her bare shoulder, "Jay."
He stops kissing her momentarily, "Hmm?"
"You left the food out."
"We'll worry about that later," he resumes pressing kisses along her collarbone, "Go to sleep." She relaxes in his embrace and does just as she's told, with him drifting off a few seconds after she did.