Maura couldn't stop smiling as she sat in her office, reviewing autopsy reports and answering emails.
Jane was incorrigible, and it never failed to fill Maura with a warmth of affection she had never felt for anyone else. She knew she certainly didn't know anyone as well as she knew the detective. She knew Jane down to the precise moment that she'd try to leave her desk, too restless to spend another moment completing reports and soliciting statements.
Her phone buzzed near her hand. A text from Jane.
"Is it lunchtime yet"
Then, seconds later, "Office or morgue"
I'm in my office right now. She debated reprimanding her detective for leaving her desk yet again, but she'd known that the coffee would only mollify Jane for so long. Besides, in looking at the time, Maura decided they could stand to leave for lunch now.
"K be right over. I have something for you"
Maura shivered involuntarily. She couldn't imagine what Jane would possibly bring her that she could obtain in the short span of time between Maura delivering her coffee and receiving her text. And Korsak hadn't called again to inform her that Jane was violating the terms of their informal agreement. Maura smirked and shook her head. The occasional variable in Jane's behavior patterns was what made their relationship all the more interesting.
Jane preceded her entry into Maura's office with a soft knock on the doorjamb.
Maura looked up.
"Hey." Jane swept up the rose bouquet for Maura to behold.
"You visited a florist?" Maura came around her desk to meet Jane.
Jane gave a quiet chuckle. "Frost's mom came by to thank us personally," she said softly, handing the flowers to Maura. "She said there was something in the cards for each of us. She...wanted to bring them up to you herself, but she had an appointment to go to."
Maura pulled a spare vase out of one of the low cabinets along the wall of her office. "I'll just get some water for these." She touched Jane's arm as she passed, and the detective's hand came up to meet her fingertips.
When she returned and placed the flowers in the water, she turned to Jane, observing her face carefully. The detective was standing exactly where Maura had left her, staring at an undefined point on Maura's desk. Her hands clasped each other at her waist.
"You okay?" Maura asked quietly.
Jane blinked and shook herself. "Yeah. Yeah, I was just..." she sighed, "just thinking about Frost. You know." She met Maura's gaze.
Maura nodded. She could see unshed tears brimming in Jane's eyes.
"He looked a lot like his mom. I, uh...I could see a lot of him in her, when she came to us." She wrung her hands and looked away. "It just...made me wish he was here."
Maura wordlessly reached out and wrapped her hand around Jane's forearm. She applied just enough pressure to draw Jane closer. In the span of a breath, she found herself enveloped in Jane's arms, Jane's shoulder tucked just beneath her chin.
Jane's hands slid down to the small of her back then back up, gliding slowly along her spine. She turned her nose into Maura's hair and sighed deeply. "I mailed the divorce papers today."
Maura tightened her hold on the detective in response. Her pulse quickened at Jane's gentle touch. She lifted her hand slowly, curious, and brought it to rest against Jane's chest, above her heart. She felt a similar acceleration in Jane's heart rate. Her thumb brushed over the delicate, sensitive skin over Jane's clavicle. She was rewarded with a soft gasp from the detective.
Jane pulled back to look at her, Maura's hand still over her heart. The detective's eyes crinkled at the corners as she smiled warmly at Maura. She took Maura's face in both her hands, fingers weaving through sleek, gold locks. "God, you're gorgeous," she rasped.
Maura smiled and dipped her head. "Jane."
Jane lifted her chin back up. "No. You are. I can't believe I'm saying this out loud, but I want to wake up to you - to this," she lightly brushed Maura's cheek with the backs of her fingers, "every day."
"I have no objections to that," Maura said, unable to keep from trembling.
"Good." Jane captured Maura's lips with her own, tasting her, breathing her in. They both melted. Jane laughed softly, shaking her head as they pulled apart. "Objections. You goof." She turned to the door, one hand anchored at the small of Maura's back. "C'mon. Let's get food."
Maura slipped behind her desk to retrieve her purse, then returned promptly to Jane's side. "What's wrong with the word 'objections'?"
"Nothing. I just find your use of vocabulary adorable. I have no objections to the word 'objections'." She let Maura pass through the door ahead of her.
"You're ridiculous."
"But I love you," Jane said quietly, with a smile.
"Yes." Maura took her arm, falling in step with her as they walked down the hall. "And nothing is more important to me than that."
"Do you think we're starting this too soon?" Jane blurted the question, as if unable to contain it any longer.
They'd spent the evening discussing their impending court case against Ruiz at length. The entire precinct, it seemed, was determined that the man would suffer the consequences of his actions to the full extent of the law. When they had exhausted all talk of evidence and witnesses and arguments, a lull had settled between the women and their words. Maura set down her beer bottle on the kitchen island, eyes intent on her best friend.
Jane was sitting at the breakfast bar across from her, worrying the edges of the label on her own bottle with her fingernails. Her eyes danced from the label, to Maura, to the fridge, and back to the label. Finally, she met Maura's gaze again. "I guess I should be asking, 'Do you think I'm starting this too soon?'" She bit her lip.
"You're referring to us entering into a romantic relationship?"
Jane nodded.
"In the context of your divorce, I think you know where I stand on the subject. We've talked about it enough to come to a mutual understanding; we both want this. The timing is what it is - not ideal, but the circumstances were generated by choices that cannot be unmade."
The deepening furrows in Jane's brow indicated she was less than satisfied with that answer.
Maura stepped around the island to sit on the barstool next to Jane. She reached up to smooth away the creases, and smiled when Jane closed her eyes and leaned into the caress. "Selfishly, I don't think we started soon enough. That can't be helped either," she drew her fingertips lightly down Jane's temple, "but I'm determined to make the most of what we have now." Jane opened her eyes. Maura could see apprehension still lingering there behind those mahogany irises. "To live in the present."
"But...objectively speaking...I don't want you or anyone else to think that I was too quick to jump from a marriage - to a man I've known since high school - to a dating relationship with my female coworker and best friend...and for myself, I don't know if maybe I should've taken more time to let the dust settle before I dragged you into my drama..."
It was Maura's turn to frown.
Jane swiftly took both of her hands and held them tightly. "Don't get me wrong! I love us. I still can't believe that something I thought would never happen has become my beautiful reality. But objectively - I know its stupid, but - I guess I'm just afraid of how it looks. And I don't want to rush things, but I also don't want to put off what we've both been feeling - I think you're right that we've waited long enough, but...I'm ending it with Casey after such a short time. And diving in with you right after. I guess I'm still a little confused - at myself, really." She shrugged helplessly. "I don't know how else to explain it."
"Okay." Maura rotated her barstool to face Jane more directly. "This is important." She held Jane's gaze just like she held her hands - gently but firmly. "Are you happy, Jane? Really? Right now, in this moment. Be honest."
"Yes," Jane whispered fervently. "Yes."
"And the people who love you, whom you trust - those whose opinions mean the most to you - they've told you what they think about your divorce, yes? Frankie, Angela, Korsak - you have their full and unwavering support."
Jane nodded. This was not news to her. Yet her doubts clung to her mind, swirled in her gut.
How ironic, Maura thought. All the time and energy Jane has spent bolstering my confidence in who I am...who would have thought that - in a romantic relationship - I'd be the one reassuring her? All of that brash confidence and devil-may-care independence was nowhere to be found. This was the Jane for whom Maura had stayed up all night when Hoyt returned. This was the Jane Maura knew she would swear to protect for as long as she was able. She took a breath and locked eyes with the detective, demonstrating that she was unafraid.
"Do you trust me?"
A nod. "With my life," she whispered again.
Maura paused a moment, struck by the raw frankness of Jane's expression. She'd known this woman would give her anything. She hadn't expected Jane would give her everything.
She swallowed happy tears. Took another breath. "Jane Rizzoli does not care what anyone thinks beyond the people she truly loves." She smiled. "Jane Rizzoli does what she wants and what she thinks is best. No one can tell her otherwise. And when it comes to the people she loves, nothing can come between her and them." She reached up and tucked an errant strand of onyx behind Jane's ear. "She is unstoppable. That is one of the many things I have always loved about her.
"So if you're honestly not ready to do this yet, I understand. And I will wait. I promise. But I refuse to let you retreat because a little public opinion made you nervous. Your mother didn't raise a pansy."
Jane's eyes flew wide, taking in the fierce, hazel orbs before her. "Are you calling me a pansy? Did Doctor Isles just call me a pansy?!"
Maura laughed, squeezing her hands. "Sometimes you are far too easy to rile-"
Jane severed the end of that sentence from Maura's lips before it could reach the air. She sealed Maura's mouth with her own, feeling a fierce joy when her beloved's eyes fluttered shut and one hand came up to grip Jane's bicep. "Pansy this," Jane murmured when they broke apart, gasping. Their mouths came together again, and Jane's lips began an exploration, wandering down from Maura's mouth to the edge of her jaw, trailing to where it reached her ear, then down again along the column of her trachea, hearing the wind of Maura's breath raking through her throat, feeling the hot pulse fluttering just beneath the skin. She paused just above Maura's collarbone, resting her lips there and feeling the rise and fall of the medical examiner's chest.
Maura's hand had moved into her hair, fingers kneading and combing across the back of her skull. "Remind me to call you a pansy more often," Maura said, her voice rough and dark.
Jane raised her head to look her in the eyes. Hazel infused into chocolate, and all train of thought was momentarily lost, suspended between their eyes. "Are you sure you can handle the consequences if you do?" She quirked a brow, a smirk ghosting across her lips, dimples just beginning to show. She moved in, fingertips tracing Maura's jaw, seeking Maura's lips again...when she felt her ribs spasm painfully. She winced, and Maura grabbed her shoulder, both stopping and supporting her.
Maura slowly placed each hand on either side of Jane's face. "I suppose we'll just have to find out when it happens." She bit her lip and her eyes flicked down to Jane's before returning the detective's stare. She leaned in slowly, bringing Jane's face closer with her hands. She pressed her lips tenderly to Jane's forehead, then her cheek just below the eye, then the tip of her nose. One hand left Jane's face to capture her hand and bring it to her lips. There were scrapes on the heel of her hand from when she was hit by the car, and a nasty graze on the outside of her wrist that was just beginning to heal. Maura kissed the injuries lightly, taking her time with each one.
Jane trembled. Held her breath. Failed to suppress a whimper as wave after wave of emotion washed over her in a tidal flood. Maura was done reasoning with Jane's mind with words.
Now she was speaking to her heart with touch.
Maura released her hand and finally kissed her lips, rising as she did so. Soon, Jane was looking up at her with soulful dark eyes and a wistful expression that made Maura's heart ache. Jane's hands were at her waist, her knees on either side of Maura's hips. Maura pulled her in, bringing Jane's head to her chest, her fingers once more entangling themselves in Jane's gorgeous hair.
Long, lean arms came around her waist. Hands clutched at her back, fingertips curling slightly at the edges of her shoulder blades.
They sighed as one.
Maura honestly couldn't remember the last time Jane had clung to her like this. She hadn't realized, until now, the full extent of how much she had missed it.
A/N: I poured myself into this chapter. I felt like I NEEDED to write it. And if this chapter makes you happy, that happiness is well-deserved, because you've made me SO happy about writing this story with all your support and reviews, and your involvement with the characters and the plot.