The rest of the day Juice took the time to be with Lotte; he wanted to show her that he was serious, that he really wanted to be with her. They stayed at the beach until dusk fell and had dinner at a restaurant with ocean view. There after he took her to his apartment, lifted her up as soon as he had dropped his bags on the ground and carried her to the bedroom where he made love to her in a way he had never done before.

The morning after, it was time to fix other things. The past months he had never went to the clubhouse before the end of the day, but this time it was before 9 when he entered the building, holding Lotte's hand. He was nervous, there was no way around that. For months he had snarled at everyone around and the brief glances that he received showed him that he wasn't the only one who remembered his shitty behavior. It hurt that nobody greeted him, even when he knew it was his own fault.

At Juice's request Clay called everyone to church and fifteen minutes later they all sat around the table. Well, all... There were still a lot of empty chairs. Happy, Tig, Chibs, Opie, Sack... Some seats were taken by prospects who had gotten their top rocker without his knowledge, but he could still feel the absence of their predecessors. He could picture their faces so vividly that he felt a jolt of pain in his stomach when he remembered their deaths or their imprisonment.

When Clay's eyes fell upon his face, Juice nodded, cleared his throat and sat up straight. Usually apologizing would have made him nervous, but suddenly he felt remarkably calm.

"I owe you an apology. A big one. I was lost since the moment Dana was taken from me and things became much worse when the body of my daughter was sent to me. I know that none of you dared to count on me – and with good reason." He dropped a silence and looked around. The others watched him closely, they even looked surprised and he continued: "I'm much better now. It's been three weeks since the last drop of alcohol, I feel peaceful and I have an old lady who keeps an eye on me. I hope that you will be able to forgive my absence and that I can come back; that you can give me another chance."

Jax tapped the ash of his cigarette in the ashtray. "You've always been one of us, Juice, even though your status was inactive for some time. We're happy to see that you pulled yourself together again."

The others nodded in agreement. Kozik shoved back his chair and spread his arms. "Come here brother. It's good to have you back, we all love you."

Juice got up and headed for the man to hug him; and after Kozik the others pulled him in an embrace too. His eyes were stinging. He had forgotten how the warmth of his friends felt, of his brothers; his family.

He sat down on the chair again and let the others fill him in about the things that mattered; the fact that they were still looking for new buyers for the guns since the old buyers lost trust after seeing the club falling apart. Jax also told him that Tig and Happy were on something which could lead to new information about Maddox, but that it all went very slow.

After Juice had caught up, the men glanced at each other a little awkwardly. Juice shoved in his chair, leaning forward as he looked from one to the other. They were keeping something from him, he could feel it. Didn't they trust him anymore? Before he could say something, Kozik heaved a sigh.

"There's something else, Juice."

"Yeah, I already sensed that." He glanced bashfully at the Sergeant at Arms. For the first time he realized that his friend had taken over that role from Tig, for who knows how long...

"Your mother was here last week."

Juice's jaw dropped. He didn't know what he had expected to hear, but certainly not this.

"My mother?" he repeated in disbelief. He hadn't spoken to her since he had left Queens and that was fifteen years ago. "What the hell did she want?"

Kozik studied his face. "Dropping off your nephew. As it seems, your sister got five years and your mother didn't want custody. She left the kid in the clubhouse and disappeared."

"My nephew?" Suspiciously he frowned. "I don't have a nephew."

But a woman who left her grand child in a clubhouse full of whores and bikers? Yeah, that definitely sounded like his mom...