One week later
Sam and Dean sat in silence.
Bobby was dead.
Before he died Sam said he woke up for just a moment. He had written down a series of numbers on Sam's hand before peacefully dying. Sam said these numbers didn't make any sense and couldn't figure out so far what they meant. At the moment they were back at the cabin holding up and keeping a low profile, stunned in their own grief.
In just a day they had lost both Lucy and Bobby.
Lucy, or Cas...whatever it was now hadn't appeared since. Dean begged, shouted, screamed, and cried for it to appear again to bring Bobby back but nothing happened. After he told Sam what happened, he just sat there stunned.
"Maybe Cas was right..."
"What?"
Dean asked. He had been in a horrible mood this past week, barley sleeping and staying with the baby at all times. He was drinking too much, but it somehow didn't affect his ability to take care of his son. As soon as the hospital released the baby, Dean wanted to join his brother as quickly as possible. Dr. Robert tried to talk to him, try to make sense out of what happened but Dean didn't want to hear it. Before leaving he did ask one thing.
He asked if Lucy did in fact die giving birth?
Dr. Robert nodded, he claimed he tried everything he could but by the time the ambulance arrived she was gone. At the moment all the paramedics hadn't come forward nor had any memory of what happened. Dr. Robert said she had in fact died right after the baby was born, he was certain.
So Dean brought his newborn son to learn Bobby was gone. Sam stared at the baby in awe and couldn't believe that Lucy was really dead. He kept questioning it, not being able to believe it. Finally Dean told him to just stop. Sam saw that look before in his brother's eyes and simply left him alone while he took care of everything at the hospital. With a heavy heart the two of them and the baby left and drove off uncertain about the future.
Dean had the bassinet they had bought and the baby laid in it. Driving back they stopped at a few places and picked up as much stuff for the baby they could. Both seemed lost and Dean didn't talk much. Instead he just held the baby, trying to sooth it. Once they got back they simply sat there in silence.
Finally Sam brought up what had happened.
"Maybe Cas was right."
"What?"
"Maybe it's true. Maybe Lucy really wasn't supposed to live. I mean...what happened first with the store, then her coming back. There had to be a reason God or whoever brought her back...maybe it was really to have the baby. I mean Cas wouldn't lie to us..."
"Would he? He's done it before..."
"You saw the real him last time before he was destroyed...that wasn't him. Maybe Lucy knew she was gonna die and wanted to do some good..."
"He's the whole reason we're in this mess!"
"But he was your friend, I saw the look on your face after he went into the water. He didn't mean it..."
"Yeah well that doesn't give him any right to take over my wife's body..."
"He said he needed somebody strong, of good faith...if it would have been anybody wouldn't it be Lucy? She was the best of all of us. She came back to make amends with you Dean...I know you guys lost each other more times than you can count, but at least you got another chance. You had your time with her and look...you have a son..."
Sam motioned towards John who laid asleep in the bassinet beside Dean on the couch. Dean had bought some clothes and John now laid asleep in a small blue once piece and tiny little cap. Dean had just stocked a good fire for the fireplace and kept worrying it was too cold in there for him. Under a few blankets the baby slept as Dean kept a hand on the bassinet, gently rocking it. Sam saw circles under his brother's eyes. Signs of the last week of pure exhaustion, grief, and worry.
"Cas shouldn't have taken her body, I agree...but he needed to come back. If we ever needed his help, it's now. We're at a dead end. Bobby..."
Sam trailed off for a second before struggling with his words.
"Bobby is gone and we have no idea what to do. You have a son now Dean...we're over our heads and we're alone. If Cas said he's getting hid old body back, he will be...if it's God, or the angels, or whatever that gets it back then let it happen."
"And Lucy?"
Dean snapped, glaring at his brother. Sighing Sam sat back.
"We'll get it back and give her a proper burial that she deserved. I loved Lucy, and I'm sure she's in heaven..."
"Great, just great..."
"It's where she deserves to be, war or no war. Maybe she's with dad, or Bobby..."
Dean shook his head looking down at the Bobby as Sam went on.
"But I'm sure she's safe, and we need all the people on our side up above. I'm sure she would want you to keep fighting, and to keep John safe. If she let Cas use for body for the time being...then it's what had to happen. It isn't forever..."
"Yeah but her being gone is. Listen, Sam...you've lost people...you just lost Bobby. But the amount of times me and Lucy have lost each other it isn't even fair. We have a son now...I promised myself I was going to protect her. I can't do this...I can't believe she was meant to die and I couldn't save her..."
"I'm sorry Dean."
Sam and Dean froze, Cas appeared, trench coat and all standing beside the fireplace. It wasn't Lucy, it was the real Cas, just as he did months ago. He stood there, his calm blue eyes just staring. Sam's eyes widened in disbelief before Dean blinked and quickly stood up.
In Cas' arms was Lucy, dressed as she was the night she died. Laying limply in his arms, her face pale and peaceful, almost as if she was asleep. Hurrying over, Dean reached out for her, nearly stumbling.
"Lucy? Lucy doll?"
Cas handed her over to Dean.
"I'm sorry..."
He said in this thick low voice.
Dean took his wife's cold corpse and held her close before glaring up at Cas. Sam quickly stood up.
"Cas...Bobby gave us numbers..."
Cas shook his head.
"I don't know..."
Dean glared at him.
"What the hell do you mean you don't know?"
Cas stared down at Lucy.
"I can't stay long, they know I'm here..."
"Who?"
"All in good time, I shall return...I'm so sorry...please forgive me and understand."
With just a flutter of wings, he was gone. Both Sam and Dean stood there before Dean's face crumpled in rage.
"Son of a bitch!"
The baby began to loudly cry before Sam stared in total disbelief. Looking over at Lucy, his heart broke before Dean looked down. Lucy laid there, now dead in his arms. The same woman he loved more than anything.
Slowly Dean brought her to the table and laid her down carefree. Sam watched before Dean went over to the bassinet and picked up the baby. Sam watched as Dean walked over, and sat down beside Lucy who was laid out on the table. Trying to sooth the baby, Dean held him before looking at Lucy's pale face.
"Hey Lucy doll..."
Dean said in a soft voice. Sam watched in silence before Dean looked down at the baby who squirmed in his arms. Struggling with tears he sighed.
"I'm...sorry I let those bastards get to you...I promised I would have taken care of you and I didn't..."
Sam heard his brother's voice break up as Dean held the baby.
"This is our baby Lucy...isn't he perfect? Please Lucy, just open your eyes and look at him. Please..."
Dean sat there, silent tears rolling down his face as he held the baby before finally lowering his head and weeping. Sam almost walked over before deciding to let him be. After a moment Dean finally leaned over, using his free hand to brush back Lucy's bangs before gently kissing her face.
That afternoon Sam watched the baby and stood by the window as Dean dug Lucy's grave. He had offered to help but Dean simply said no, this was something he needed to do himself. Hours went by and finally Dean carried Lucy who was now wrapped up in a sheet and gently lowered her into the ground. Sam walked out, holding the baby as Dean filled the grave. His hands bleeding and dirty. Not saying a word, Sam simply held the baby as Dean looked up.
"I loved her Sammy...and I lost her twice. It wasn't that I was unable to save her...it's because I didn't deserve her. I don't deserve him either..."
"Dean..."
"No, it's true. I'm done Sammy...I'll never love anyone like I loved her. I was the one that got her into this, and I was the one who got her pregnant. She died because of me and I'll never forgive myself for that."
Sam didn't say anything else, instead he watched as Dean patted down the soil and stood there throwing down the shovel. For a second Sam saw Dean shove something in his pocket and suspected it was Lucy's wedding ring. Turning, he looked at Sam.
"Can I see him?"
"Yeah...sure..."
Sam slowly handed over the baby which Dean held close to his chest. Kissing the top of his head, he slowly went back into the cabin. Watching him, Sam sighed before looking down at the grave. He knew over time grass and moss would grow over it and nobody would ever know such a beautiful, amazing, kind woman rested here. Feeling his heart ache, he stared down at the ground before glancing up at the overcast sky.
"Help...please help..."
Later...
Dean had showered and now had redressed John and laid awake in bed with him. The baby had just ate and seemed fussy, thinly crying and wiggling against his arm in the darkness. Dean had no idea what he was doing, nor if he was doing it right. Laying there with the baby he felt his head throb.
Lucy was dead.
Glancing down at the baby he felt another tear roll down his face before he looked over.
Lucy laid there, peacefully smiling in the darkness staring at him. Their baby in between the two of them.
"Lucy?"
Dean asked.
Lucy simply smiled before looking down at the baby. Feeling the tears slip down his face, Dean struggled not to break down.
"I...don't know...what to do Lucy doll..."
Instead of answering, Lucy simply just gave him a sad small smile and kept staring at him.
Dean woke up, feeling the tears still rolling down his face. John was fast asleep against him, and the moon was still out. Feeling his heart ache in his chest, he laid there for a second before looking down at the baby. Feeling more over protective than ever, he laid closer to his son and promised Lucy under his breath he would make sure their baby was safe.
The next morning Sam worked on trying to figure out the numbers while Dean laid on the couch, John fast asleep on his chest. Gently rubbing his back, he wouldn't allow the grief of Lucy and Bobby overtake him. At the moment the most important thing was his son.
Thinking things out, he now knew how to make sure he was safe.