Part 27 – Non-monolithic:

-Sunnydale High - Parking Lot-

I contemplate walking home from school and just abandoning Sheila to her fate. I mean... she's already surrounded, clearly there's no hope.

But no... Faith and Amy are in that crowd surrounding my truck. And now they're all waving at me. I should go see what's going on. I resume my trek across the parking lot.

"Hey Jack. I mentioned we were planning to watch Batman. X-man here," Faith slugs Xander on the shoulder. She is clearly still getting used to her own strength if the pained look crossing Xander's face is anything to judge off of. I almost even wince in sympathy, I've been on the receiving end of that myself during our sparring sessions.

I swear, you let a girl know your bones snap right back into place unbroken and she loses all sense of self restraint. And then she wonders why I don't want to practice sword work with her. Pity there's a distinct lack of martial arts studios in town. A proper instructor who isn't associated with the genocidal peeping toms and their silly rules would be lovely. I'll have to add it to the list along with finding Amy a magic tutor so we can stop faffing about blindly in the dark when it comes to our spellwork and magical research.

I tune back in as Faith wraps up her chain of who invited who. "... So I figured we could all do dinner and cartoons. Well, except for B... she said she needed... mom time." True enough, Joyce has been pretty... Eh, what the hell.

With a nod of my head to Xander, "I guess I can't rightly deny Batso a chance to see his own cartoon." I start towards the truck.

Err, Wait... wasn't something like 'mom time' Buffy-speak for awkward shirtless tai chi with Liam a few episodes from now?

Hmmm... I should probably add a proper family tree to Faith's education. Even if he is in time out, I can't have her staking Grandfather. Mother would be ever so distraught.

As I'm opening the driver's door I hear Xander ask, "...Did he just call me Batso?"

"Ah, my mistake. I do apologize Mr. Wayne. I thought you sounded like the batman for a moment there."

-Winters Residence-

Approaching the front door... I'm struck by an odd sensation. The house smells wrong. People have been here. Humans... I think?

I throw my arm out, nearly clothes lining Amy, and knocking her back into Faith. "Something's wrong." Amy's indignant protests cut off at the expression on my face.

The mystery machine pulls up in front of the house. Sigh. Of course this happens on the day we're having company over.

I point at the arriving Scoobies. "Keep them back away from the house. It smells like we had company while we were at school. No doubt the house is full of... surprises."

Unlocking the door and pulling it open from outside direct line of fire, I'm almost disappointed when there's no explosion or blast of gunfire. Almost.

Peeking around the door frame, nothing seems obviously out of place. The strangers' smells are inside the house too though. Ungh.

I tell the crowd now gathered by the van to wait a moment and take a cautious step into the house and off to the side. My tattoos start buzzing faintly. If I weren't keyed up and feeling for it, I'm not sure I'd have even noticed. It feels different than the itching tingling sensation that Faith gives me. More like how I feel in the... hospital maybe?

Damn. Someone installed cameras, or maybe some manner of listening devices. Unless... I move around a bit. No. It's too widespread for infrared trip wires. Thank the gods.

Well, nothing for it. A large number of spontaneous failures are about to occur in someone's equipment.

"Marco!" Instead of saying 'polo,' my tattoos' buzzing flares slightly. Listening devices then. A step to left, "Marco!" slightly stronger flare.

Great. I should probably go warn the others to stay out and then I get to play a rousing game of hot and cold with my tattoos... Joygasm.

I head outside. "I'm starting to think you people are cursed. I swear, every time you all come over something goes sideways."

-Winters Residence - Atrium-

I feel like I'm missing something important as I dump the remains of the five little devices that were upsetting my tattoos on coffee table as everyone files into the living room. "I don't suppose any of you know anything about surveillance gear?"

While everyone else is shaking their heads no, Willow starts fiddling with the bits of now dismantled electronics, picking one of them up into the light and squinting at it. "I could see if I can find anything out about the serial numbers from the manufacturer. They might keep a record of who they sold it to."

... I am not going to ask why you expect to have access to that information. Nope. Your illegal hacking is your own business. "That sounds good."

As she's pulling out her laptop, Willow's brow scrunches up slightly. "How did you find them anyway? Are you sure you got them all?" Everyone starts looking around nervously.

How to explain..? "Uh... surveillance gives me... I think you guys would call it the wiggins."

"Well duh! Being spied on is way creepy." Cordelia sounds offended by the notion. I can't say that I disagree.

I smile. "Yes... That's true. But I mean like hairs on the back of my neck standing up when I feel like I'm being watched kind of wiggins. It's hard to explain the sensation, but I basically played Marco Polo with said wiggins. Like, Oz can probably smell the intruders but could you put all the details into words?"

At the same time Xander and Amy say, "Spidey Senses."

Oz also responds. "Three humans. Lots of soap."

Impressive. I make a note that Oz's sense of smell is better than mine, after all I didn't get anything more that 'human, probably plural.' "Yeah, Spidey Sense works. If there were any more of these things hidden around here I'd feel it." I pause, as if considering. "I should probably mention that to Giles. I don't recall Mok'tagar demons being able to do that." Which is sad really, they were a lovely guess on his part.

A loud knock at the door interrupts me.

"Yes! Pizza's here!" Amy bolts over to the door.

"You found a place that delivers after dark in this town?" Cordelia and I both ask in unison before looking at each other in shared confusion.

"Yeah... sure. It's called Harmony..." Amy opens the front door to reveal Harmony, with 6 pizza boxes.

"So, I just doubled our usual order, I hope that's okay."

"Wicked!" Faith rushes past me, grabbing the pizzas.

... Faith, Amy, and Harmony have a usual order? Wow. Maybe Amy's right about me spending too much time down in the caves.

"How are you two not freaking out right now?" Cordelia demands.

Xander nods his agreement "Yeah. Am I the only one thinking about pulling his house apart to make sure none of these things are hiding there?" Judging by the looks on the others, he isn't.

Faith and Amy shrug. Faith waves Amy on, before biting into her pizza. "Jack will figure out who did it and then Faith can beat them up. Until then? I'm hungry."

I smile briefly at my little family's trust in each other, before hunkering down to make good on it.

-Winters Residence - Atrium-

I sit in my chair, design notes and shotgun competing for space on the closest parts of the coffee table, while I wait for Faith to come back from patrol.

I may not have gotten to introduce Faith to the Batman cartoons, but I suppose tonight wasn't a waste. The Scoobies were even helpful if I'm being honest with myself.

Not that it's any manner of surprise breakthrough discovery that they can be used to convert pizza or donuts into research and ideas. Amy being willing to admit to having a collection of magic books, may have caught me off guard, but I suspect she wanted to show off. Getting Willow to finally admit to having the techno-pagan books from Miss Calendar made all the questioning glances worthwhile. If she eventually gets me the sales info for the listening devices, it'll be a bonus.

Really though, it was having Oz's nose to double check my conclusions on where the intruders had and hadn't been that proved most handy. That they never went near the bedrooms, and left the house practically untouched seems oddly polite of home invaders. They never even went near the safe. Sure, it's hidden, but not so well that I'd expect a trio of thieves to have missed it. Especially not thieves that could get past Amy's alarm wards, basic though they may be... Huh, Oz also mentioned that they smelled like a lot of soap...

So; Three magically aware full or near humans that use technology. Lots of soap. Strangely polite. Unless I somehow annoyed a bunch of Canadians warlocks, that sounds suspiciously like people working for The Mayor. Granted, I'm working for The Mayor, so that begs the question; Why now? Why not weeks ago when I first landed on his radar? Even as of our last meeting there wasn't any different in his demeanor to indicate we had a problem.

Rerunning said last meeting in my head... I snap-started my instant hot pack and warmed my hand up so I could shake his hand as usual. I stepped through the door, tattoos sizzling briefly as normal. Wilkins didn't even bother to look surprised anymore when his latest detection spell slid off me. I gave my report on all the various sites I'd verified did not hold his maguffin, handing the paper copy of the same over to Allan. Hmmm... What changed?

Even if he puzzled his way past my little, "I'm just a vanilla mortal, pay no attention to me," routine... I can't fathom his objecting to having yet one more demon of unknown type, or even vampire, in his employ. Perhaps this is just idle curiosity?

... except no. I was probably reported as being at Willy's with Buffy earlier this week because she couldn't be arsed to wait in the truck.

Aha. That makes sense now. The Mayor wouldn't want his retrieval specialist mentioning his work to the Slayer.

I return to doing the legwork on looking into a more proactive set of home defense wards. If defense by obscurity isn't working, may as well go full blown fortress mode.

I should probably also start working on some form of contingency plan in case my work with Mayor Wilkins goes sour. Damn. I was really hoping to nab that box of infinite spiders first.

Hopefully I can unruffle whatever feathers I need to before anything unfortunate happens.

-Winters Residence - Atrium-

I'm still hunched over the coffee table when Faith comes home a bit past 2 AM.

Flopping down on the couch and firing up the Nintendo, Faith looks over and smirks at me. "You're still here?" Uh...

"Of course I am... I live here." I laugh halfheartedly at the absurdity of that question.

Faith rolls her eyes at me. "Ain't you usually down in the caves by now?"

"Oh. I suppose so. But I figured one of us should be home in case we had visitors again tonight. Amy would never forgive us if we let her being kidnapped in her sleep deny her a morning cup of coffee." I pause, beginning to sort out my notes and stack up the reference books. "I called the school and left a message. We all have food poisoning and won't be in tomorrow. You good with taking second watch and then sacking out after breakfast?"

"... Sure, sounds good." Faith agrees distractedly as she nails Bowser with a green shell.

"Great. We'll take the long weekend and overhaul the spells on the house." Faith's continued nodding as I speak strikes me as suspicious. "...And then after the wedding I figure you and Amy can have your honeymoon back home at Martha's Vineyard."

...And Faith is clearly checked out of reality, just nodding along as I speak.

I toss a coaster at her. She dodges without looking away from her game. Good. Her slayer instincts are at least still on watch. Works for me.

I head down into the caves, pondering the merits of Mayor Wilkins continued existence.

-Sunnydale Caverns-

I think the universe has a bizarre sense of humor.

I mean really. The stupid Orb of Unrememberable Name that the Mayor wanted was in the collapsed tunnel rubble? Somehow undamaged, despite... err..

Okay. I guess that makes a limited kind of sense considering the idiot fledge that managed to get himself caught in a cave in while returning it to his boss. Nothing good will ever come from betting against fledges doing strange or dumb things. Acting as a cushion for loot can probably be counted as both.

Said fledge snarls at me, long since driven mad by hunger, pain, and isolation during his three or more week stint as organic rubble.

"Yeah... dealing with you is so not worth the bonus pay."

I stake... him? Kind of hard to tell with everything all mashed like that.

Well. This ought to help calm Wilkins calm down while I sort out an appropriate response.

Heading back home, the lab is once again lit by the grow light over that strange flower.

A strange flower that has at least doubled in size since I last looked at it, and now smells like a strange combination of something sweet like honey and... something maybe sort of like blood? Close but not, on each count. Some sort of carnivorous plant perhaps?

Well, it's good to see Amy has embraced her role as Poison Ivy.

...I wonder if this sort of living bug zapper could be made to eat surveillance bugs.

A/N- "I'm just a vanilla mortal" is sung to the tune of "little black rain cloud" by Winnie the Pooh