Teddy
My sister is now quite heavily pregnant. Her bump is huge and she constantly has her hands on it. It's a bit weird to see but she looks quite happy and that's nice I guess.
We're getting to hang out just the two of us for a bit before we have to do a family therapy session. I don't know why I have to do that, I've made it quite clear that I'm not bothered that Phoebe is having a baby and I'm happy Mom and Dad are adopting it but apparently it isn't about me, it's about Phoebe and I have to do it.
"So how's school?" Phoebe asks as she munches on a bowl of popcorn she's now balancing on her bump.
"Lame as always." I reply using her favourite catchphrase to Gail when we would come in from school and she'd ask us the same question.
"No serious dweeb." Phoebe says chucking a piece of popcorn at my head.
"Everyone wants to know how you're getting on at boarding school." I tell her knowing that's what she wants to know more than anything.
"Oh yeah and how do you answer that?" She asks her eyebrow cocking like Dad's does when he's intrigued about something.
"That your thriving and loving it." I reply, it's what Mom told me to say.
"I don't know if I'll be able to go back." Phoebe says quietly and I feel for her, it will be weird for her if she does as everyone will want to know why the boarding school thing didn't pan out. "I'm thinking of asking Mom and Dad if I can go to Annie Wright."
"Boarding?" I ask though I'm not surprised Phoebe has given this some thought.
"Yup." She says before taking another handful of popcorn in her mouth. "I mean, makes sense really. Plus they separate girls and boys and isn't too far for me to come home for weekends. I've lived without Mom and Dad here for so long, makes sense doesn't it?"
"Don't talk with your mouthful that's gross." I reply making her laugh and throw another piece of popcorn at me. "And enough with the popcorn!" I shout playfully before reaching over and grabbing a handful for myself. "I think if it's what you want Mom and Dad will do it."
"Do you think so? Because I don't want them to think I'm running away from them or the baby. I just think there's no point rocking the boat by going back to Northwest. It will raise more questions." She explains with a bit of a sad look on her face, I guess she's really thought about it and knows people will be suspicious if she comes back. I don't dare tell her some of them are saying she's pregnant and in hiding and that I've even be suspended for punching one guy in the face about it.
"Of course, they will PB. They just want to make you happy." I reassure her and don't add the fact that they're making me come to the family therapy for her because I'd rather be anywhere else than being counselled about this new baby.
When it's finally time for the counselling session Phoebe and I meet with Mom and Dad in a bright yellow room. Phoebe obviously feeling at home here dumps herself on the nearest arm chair leaving me to share the large couch with Mom and Dad.
"Hello everyone, you must be Teddy, I'm Amy." I'm guessing she's the counsellor as she smiles prettily at me. It makes me uncomfortable because the first thing she's said has sounded really patronising and I wonder how the hell Phoebe gets on with her, she hates patronising people. "Ok so, today we're going to talk about life after Bridge Haven, Phoebe has expressed she wants to make sure everyone is on the same page about the adoption and being at home with the baby." Louise explains thankfully sounding less patronising than when she introduced herself to me. "Ok s Phoebe, why don't you tell Mom, Dad and Teddy what your concerned about?"
"Ok… my worry is that you guys will expect more from me." She says looking at her bump rather than at us as she talks. "I mean, I want to be just a sister." She explains.
"Ana?" She says allowing my Mom to come in.
"Well I wouldn't expect anything less than a sister." Mom says which actually says nothing. "You know helping a little but no more than I'd expect if I'd birth the child myself." She says and Phoebe nods though I don't know how satisfying of an answer that is.
"Phoebe you've been discussing the adoption and the baby going home, have you told your parents what you'd like to happen?" This peaks my interest because I don't actually know what the process is.
"I want the papers signed as soon as we're settled after birth…" Phoebe tails off and looks at Louise who nods encouragingly. "Then I want you to take the baby home the same day if there is no reason not to." I hear Mom's gasp and feel Dad stiffen beside me.
"Explain why you feel like that Phoebe." Louise encourages further and Phoebe starts drawing patterns on her bump with her nail to draw her focus away from looking at my parents.
"Well, unlike other adoptions when I hand this baby over it isn't a goodbye, just a see you later." Phoebe explains quietly, she's obviously not sure how my parents are going to react. "I don't need three days. I don't need three hours really. I mean, I just want to meet the baby and then baby goes home with it's parents." She says.
"Are you afraid you'll change your mind?" Mom asks even though the counsellor hadn't asked her to speak.
"No." Phoebe says finally lifting her head to look at my Mom. "No that's not it all. I just feel like the three days are for girls where their baby is going for months before they'll see them again and when they see them again the baby doesn't know who they are. After I'm counselled through the birth here I get to come home and see this baby with it's Mommy and Daddy and have lots of big sister cuddles." She chuckles at the last bit. "I don't feel like I'm going to need those three days with the baby, what I'm going to need is the support of staff here to get back on my feet and ready to come home."
"Christian you haven't said anything yet." Louise says encouraging Dad to have an opinion.
"I think if that's what you want Phoebe we can do that, but you can change your mind if after the birth you decide you want to have the baby overnight, even if you decide that you want those three days that's fine, I don't think you should set anything in stone because things could change." I'm surprised at Dad, he's obviously getting the importance of this therapy for Phoebe because he's being unusually honest and explanatory rather than his usual prompt and factual self.
"Ok." Phoebe nods her eyes meeting mine.
"Listen I just don't know what you all expect from me, I'm getting a new brother or sister and that's awesome but I don't have an opinion on the rest of it." I explain looking nervously at the counsellor knowing she's probably looking for some hidden meaning in what I say even though one doesn't exist.
"Do you think it's because your opinion doesn't matter?" She asks me and I roll my eyes at her.
"No. It's because I just don't have an opinion." I reply moodily.
"Teddy." Mom says in her warning voice and I sit back a bit so I don't come across as being aggressive.
The counsellor moves on to living at home with the baby again and I totally zone out because I don't care, the baby is coming, Mom and Dad are going to be the baby's parents, that's awesome and I am 110% behind this but other than getting a new brother or a sister I don't see how it's going to have such a big impact on my life.
When it's time for us to go Phoebe holds me for longer than normal and I let her, I can't imagine how rough this is for her and plus I know the next time I see her, she'll be home and we'll have a baby at home too.
Phoebe
Counselling with my parents is hard going, counselling with Teddy is even harder and I'm truly exhausted by the time they leave. I find all the girls outside looking like their having a great time and I'm missing out on the fun.
"What are you doing?" I ask turning to Adelaide who has a mischievous look on her face. Suddenly a whole cup of water is spilt on my head.
"Oh my god that's so bloody cold, Adelaide what did you do?" I shout dancing to get the drips of my head.
"Water fight." She says giving me the cup. "You better run."
I run to the buckets that are on the middle of the patio and quickly fill my cup and run towards a hiding spot, suddenly Jess pops out from behind a chair and soaks me again, I fling the water from my cup back at her before running to get more water.
It's a great way to keep cool in the summer, not so great when you're heavily pregnant and running is a bit of a nightmare. The newer girls who have much smaller bumps and aren't gone anywhere near as long are a lot more agile and a lot faster. But we do have such a laugh, we fill our cups and hide and try and drench one another and I feel 14 again. It makes me think of being at home with Teddy when we were younger and playing in the meadow. We used to have such fun. Now I think of the next child that will run through that Meadow and wonder if they'll have the same amount of fun as Teddy and I had.
"What the hell do you girls think your doing?!" Mary's voice booms across the garden and we all stand stock still. "Guys when I said cool off this is not what I had in mind." She says still pretty much yelling.
Adelaide is bent over laughing and I bite my lip to supress my giggles. We're all soaked through and are clearly about to be told off like a bunch of errant toddlers.
"I thought you girls had more sense than this." Mary continues as she approaches us. "Each and every one of you is pregnant, running around on these now wet slabs which are slippery. I'm disappointed in you girls."
Ouch that's deep. I hate the thought of Mary being disappointed in me.
"Inside all of you and be very careful on the floors I don't want any of you falling, get showered, get dressed, it's dinner time."
"She's got a bee in her bonnet." Adelaide says as I fall into line beside her. I giggle, I can't help it.
"Phoebe Grey it isn't funny!" Mary shouts having recognised my giggle from a good few feet away. "If any of you had fallen…" She shouts but stops herself. "Get showered and get changed."
Adelaide and I make it to the top of the stairs before we start giggling, the others then joining in with us. We might have disappointed Mary but I think that's the most free I've felt since being here. For a little while I felt like a teenager again and not pregnant, not having to worry about the tiny human inside me that's growing every day that's taken over my life since I knew of it's existence. Mary might be disappointed but I'm not.