Warnings and disclaimers see chapter 1

Chapter 36 Treatment

Treatment day one

Dean was sitting on the couch with his bag at his feet when Sam came in with his. Dean looked up at Sam briefly without meeting his eyes. He zipped the bag up and rose from the couch leaving the bag on the floor.
"You coming?"
"Yeah Dean."
"You know you don't have to come for these. I can handle it."
"I know you can but I want to be there."
Dean was determined to break the awkwardness in the air and looked at Sam in the eye for the first time since his shower.

Dean made the first move by smiling softly at him and Sam smiled back.
"Thanks." Dean said softly.
"No problem. Let's get going."
Sam drove to the hospital his eyes flicking to Dean every now and again. Dean sat looking as relaxed as he normally did when Sam drove even though Sam knew he had to be tense thinking of what was to come. During the drive Bobby called Dean. They spoke for a few minutes and Dean waved at Sam and pointed to the phone. Sam waved back and Dean relayed the message. They got there slightly early and had to wait a few minutes. Dean sat in his chair as still as a rock the complete opposite of Sam who fidgeted and tapped his feet.

When Dean was called for his radiotherapy Sam leapt out of his chair and Dean thought for a second he was going to hug him again. Sam seemed to change his mind at the last second and gripped Dean at the elbow firmly for a couple of beats before letting go. Dean nodded and followed the nurse. As he was about to slip through the door he turned and gave Sam a tight smile. It was Dean's only tell that he was feeling nervous about the treatment and Sam smiled back what he hoped was an encouraging smile.

Dean was lead into a room with a large technical looking machine in it. The nurse explained what the machine did and what he could expect. Dean took his upper clothes off when asked to and the nurse helped him lay down in the correct position. She gave him some dark glasses to put on and asked him if he wanted music on.
"Only if you have an eighty's rock station." Dean joked.
"Better than that, we have the best of the eighty's CDs we can play if you like."
"Sounds good."
"Okay. All you have to do is lie still. It's alight if you fall asleep. I will come and get you when the time is up."
Dean lay back and listened to the music trying to ignore the sounds of the machine pumping rads into him.

Dean emerged half an hour later looking the same except for a slight redness to the right side of his neck. He didn't even have time to sit next to Sam before a nurse came to get them for chemotherapy. The nurse was covered from head to foot in heavy safety gear that unnerved Sam slightly. Sam walked with them to a cubicle where the nurse got Dean to sit in a chair with high armrests. The nurse introduced herself as Sandy and she immediately began preparing the IV fluids, hooking up the saline as she explained the process. She used so many swabs and moved so fast Sam was losing track even though she was telling them as she went.

She set up a cannula into the back of Dean's hand and showed them the port in the line where the drugs would go in. Sam saw Dean gulp several times even as he nodded. She gave Dean an anti-nausea tablet to take and some water. Sandy slid a pillow behind Dean's back to make him comfortable and excused herself saying the doctor would be right along as she wanted to see Dean before he started treatment. Sam went and sat on Deans left as the IV was set up on his right.

It was only matter of seconds before Doctor Hall stepped through the curtain.
"Hello Dean. How are you feeling?"
"About the same."
"Okay, well as I explained on the phone we are going to administer on days one and fourteen. I know it doesn't sound like much but you will feel pretty sick while they are in your system. We will get blood from you every two weeks just to check how things are going with your cell counts. One thing we will have to watch for while you are being treated is depression. These drugs can get you down a bit so I urge you to get out and do something to make you feel better whenever you are up for it."
Sam noticed she looked at him a lot as she was talking seeming to know he would be doing all the caring.

She went on to explain how the individual drugs would work and went over the side effects one more time. She gave them a chance to ask questions. Dean asked how Sam's test had gone.
"It came back clear of any problems. Sam's in good health."
Sam asked how soon Dean would start felling unwell.
"Around an hour after they have been delivered. So Dean you will be finished in about three hours and you will be free for the weekend. Try to get some rest. I will leave you in the capable hands of the team. If you have any problems just let them know."
Jane patted Dean's arm like they were old friends making Sam glad they had picked her.
"Thanks Doc."
"Thanks Jane."

Sandy came back as Jane said goodbye and left. She had all of Dean's drugs in a plastic bag with a bright green stripe. She set the first batch up and pushed the needle into the port in the line. As the needle clicked into the port Dean found it hard to swallow around a sudden lump in his throat. This is it, he thought, treatment has begun, no backing out now. Dean felt Sam's hand close around his left.
"Sammy, I told you I didn't need you to hold my hand." Dean said softly.
"I'm not doing it for you Dean. I'm doing it for me."
Sam could see a very light sheen on Dean's face. He thought Dean was doing very well considering what was happening to him. He was sure he would be a trembling mess if it was him.
"It makes me feel better." Sam said with an encouraging smile.
"All right then."

Sam handed Dean a bottle of cold water. Dean drank it down, his throat suddenly parched.
"How was the radiotherapy ?"
Dean liked holding onto Sam's hand as it took his attention away from the needle in the back of his hand. Of course he wouldn't tell Sam that. "Okay. They put some music on and I just lay there for a while."
"Sounds boring."
"Yeah, it kind of was."
Sam kept up the small talk trying to distract Dean from all the drugs being pumped into him

After an hour, a lady who announced she was in charge of the nurse navigators came in to see Dean. She asked to see Dean alone and Sam moved to get up, but Dean kept hold of his hand pulling him back.
"Sam stays." There was no way Dean was leaving Sam out now.
"I just need to speak to you for a moment about your counseling."
"Well that's fine because Sam is my councilor."
Sam opened his mouth in surprise.
"What do you mean?" she asked.
"Sam is my brother and he will be counseling me if I need it."
"Oh you will need it Mr. Archer. It's impossible to go through something this life changing on your own." She had a school teacher type lecturing voice.
"I won't be alone. Sam will look after me."

Sam could hear the controlled venom in Dean's voice.
"I don't think you understand what a tiring time this will be for you Mr. Archer. You will need someone experienced to help you through."
"Sam's my brother and knows me better than anyone on the planet. He would be better than some stranger that hardly knows me."
Sam felt himself blush slightly with pride.
"But does your brother have any experience in counseling? Is he qualified?"
Sam saw the corner of Dean eye twitch and recognized his brother had about enough of this conversation. All someone had to do was imply Sam was anything less than brilliant and he would get his back up quickly. He gripped Dean's hand a little harder to let him know he was there for him.

He was surprised to feel a slight squeeze back before Dean spoke again.
"He has lived with me for longer than anyone and put up with my crap almost as long. He's over qualified." Dean's voice had a 'this subject is closed' ring to it.
"I assure you Mr. Archer, nothing can prepare you both for the emotional trauma you are about to endure…"
"Sam is prepared for it and he is the only one I want to help me." Dean interrupted his voice as sharp as a knife.
Sam saw her back off slightly. Smart move.
"Alright Sam. I'll give you my card and you can give me a call if either of you need help. Otherwise there are nurses here trained in counseling to help you both."
She left looking slightly put out and Dean chucked softly.

Sam turned and looked at Dean "You mean that Dean? About the counseling?"
Dean squirmed slightly in his chair.
"Sorry to do that to you Sammy, but I don't need some stranger giving me the pity parade. If I need to talk about anything, I will come to you. That's what those big board shoulders are for, right? Dean nudged Sam softly and squeezed his hand.
"Spot on Dean." Sam said softly with a small smile.
He had all the ammunition he needed now if Dean suddenly refused his help.

Dean pushed his head up against the pillow and closed his eyes seeming emotionally spent. Sandy came back and pushed in more of his drugs. Sam saw Dean shiver and pulled his chair over so he was closer. He pushed his arm closer to Dean's still holding his hand so he could give Dean some warmth.
"Do you want my jacket?"
"No I'll be okay. Thanks."
Sandy continued to push more drugs into Deans IV until she announced he was finished. Sandy took everything off and put a plaster over the tiny dot. She gave Dean a bag of things that they gave all cancer patients and more some anti-nausea tablets.

Dean got to his feet and stumbled slightly with lightheadedness. He passed it off with a tight smile saying it was from sitting still for so long. Sam steadied him and walked at his elbow as he went to the desk to make his radiotherapy appointments. He got booked in for three pm every day the following week meaning they didn't have to be back until two or so on Monday.

TBC