A/N: Since these chapters are a little shorter than my usual, I thought I'd give you this one early. Also as a little celebration of the fact that I officially hit 300 pages in my Word document with this chapter! Woo-hoo!
All standard disclaimers apply.
As Children After Play
Bella fell asleep on Esme's shoulder, and Edward carried her back to bed. She slept deeply, her breathing untroubled, and he wrapped her in blankets before lying next to her on the air mattress, letting her bundled form curl against him. He could hear her steady heartbeat and the lighter, faster thrum of the smaller heart inside her.
"So beautiful," he murmured, stroking her hairline, feeling the feathery texture of the light hairs that framed her face. "So brave. I love you, Bella."
She nestled close, her body turning toward his as if seeking him out, drawn like a planet to a sun. Edward reveled in the expression of peace on her face—something he did not often get to witness. Often she looked troubled even when she slept, as if her dreams were unpleasant. Tonight, though, she looked utterly at rest.
"You've overcome so much," he said softly, fingertips tender as they roamed across the pale pink plane of her cheek. "I know you'll be able to get through whatever else comes our way."
Esme's pride in Bella's progress was palpable, even to Edward who could only read thoughts, not emotions. His mother's insistence not to be parted from Bella was foremost in her mind, and he followed both the words and the inner thoughts of his parents as they debated what to do once their holiday came to an end.
"Heidi promised," Esme said. "She promised to keep Bella away from Charlie—that we could keep her for the time being. If we can't trust the officials, who can we trust?"
"I don't know," Carlisle said. "I don't know what will happen, and that's the trouble. It's a dangerous proposition, taking her back where her father can physically get to her, especially if Heidi doesn't have the final say in where she goes. The fact that Alice can't see her doesn't help make this decision any easier."
Esme's thoughts were frustrated, warring Bella's physical safety against her promise not to be separated from the family again. "Carlisle, she's family. We can't keep her holed up like a dirty little secret."
"There's also the pregnancy to think of," he said. "I'll need to do a thorough examination at some point—not now, I don't have a sonogram machine with me, and I can't risk taking her to a human doctor, considering what she's carrying. Right now everything seems to be progressing normally—she's not really showing, but at a little more than ten weeks, I wouldn't expect it. But what if something changes drastically? What if this pregnancy doesn't continue to progress normally? I don't like the thought of her being under the microscope of the state during this delicate time."
"There's also something else to consider," Jasper said quietly, stepping into the room, Alice tucked close to his side. "It may be best if the state never learns that Bella is pregnant with a second child. If she's stating that Mason's birth was the result of rape, it doesn't look good if she shows up pregnant again. And if you want to tell the truth, that the baby is Edward's, the fact that a minor got pregnant under your supposed watch doesn't speak well to your parenting. The timing really isn't ideal. If we could postpone the trial until after she gives birth, that would help a lot."
Edward could understand Jasper's point, and he felt a rush of guilt that he had created this difficult situation. Bella needed to be out of Charlie's clutches for good, and for that to happen, Charlie needed to go to trial and Bella needed to testify against her father. But if she did so visibly pregnant, it would throw her testimony into doubt. A jury might see her as just another attention-seeking, messed up teenager, bent on blaming her father for her own bad choices. A baby in her underage belly made it look like the child she'd already borne mightn't be the product of a sadistic rapist after all, but just another example of a pattern of bad decisions on Bella's part. Not to mention, allowing her to get pregnant a second time made Esme and Carlisle look bad, even though in reality they'd had absolutely nothing to do with it.
Jasper was right, in a way—postponing the trial until Bella was no longer pregnant would solve those problems, as long as they could keep the baby secret. But waiting caused another slew of issues. Bella needed to be out of Charlie's reach now, not later. She needed it both for her physical safety and for her mental health. The thought of that constant stress, the threat of Charlie taking away this new life she'd made for herself, was unacceptable, especially while she was carrying a child. It could do permanent harm to both of them, and Edward couldn't just sit back and let that happen. Plus, if they were going to keep the pregnancy a secret, Bella would have to stay here, out of the country where the state of Washington couldn't find her. That meant more enforced separation from the family, because they couldn't just pick up and leave Forks with a trial looming. Edward couldn't bear the thought of being separated from her again, especially now that he knew she was carrying his child. Whatever happened, they needed to be together—to experience it together. Bella might not appreciate his overprotective streak, but she needed the support of her lover. Besides, Esme had promised her. She'd promised, and Edward didn't think Esme would be able to rescind on that promise, no matter the consequences.
"Still nothing, Alice?" Carlisle asked, though he did not sound hopeful.
Alice did not answer verbally, though her unspoken response was negative. Edward assumed she must have shaken her head, unrepentantly listening to her thoughts as she nestled against her husband. She was frustrated with her own shortcomings, her inability to see anything useful regarding Bella. The few visions she'd had of her newest sister danced before her mind's eye, and Edward watched them carefully, though he'd seen most before. The first brief, vibrant scenes that had clued Alice into Bella's appearance in their lives, the sudden flash of her holding a tiny, dark-haired infant that was clearly not Mason. Edward's unbeating heart leaped into his throat as he savored that particular image in his mind's eye. It hadn't meant anything to him before, but now that he knew Bella was carrying his child, he felt hope well up inside him. Was this his child Alice had seen—the one that now lay, safe and protected, inside Bella's warm body? The image was not sharp enough for him to discern much of the child's features—it was small, that much he knew. Newborn, perhaps. And Bella was holding it wrapped in a cream-colored blanket, which swathed its tiny body and gave absolutely no indication of gender.
Alice's newest brief flash of Bella was definitely sharper, more defined. She was dressed conservatively, in a soft grey cardigan over a pale pink button-down shirt, and she looked drawn but resolute, her hands clasped in her lap. Her soft hair was pulled back from her face in a half ponytail, and Edward knew immediately where she was.
Court. On the witness stand, to be exact.
And she did not look pregnant.
Did that mean Jasper was right? Would they keep her here until she gave birth, despite the risk to her emotional well-being? It wasn't an outcome Edward liked at all. For starters, who would stay with her? They needed to keep up appearances in Forks, especially with CPS and probably lawyers digging into this mess. That meant only one Cullen would likely be able to stay with her. Esme loved her and would not willingly choose to be parted from her again. Edward himself was adamant about not leaving her, especially while she carried his child. Bella would miss Rose, whom she viewed as a mentor. And, of course, there was Carlisle. His medical expertise made him absolutely vital to Bella's health while she carried a potentially dangerous hybrid fetus in her belly. A human doctor simply would not suffice, nor would the family risk exposing their secret by confiding in one. They had a limited support system of friendly vampires they could rely on for other purposes, but Carlisle was the only vampire doctor in the world as far as they knew.
It didn't seem like a good idea to Edward, and yet Alice had had a vision, which meant someone had made a decision. She was able to see possibilities sometimes—what-if scenarios—and Edward wondered if perhaps this mightn't be one. Or if, perhaps, another decision might change the outcome.
But really, was putting Bella on the stand round with child really any better? Risking her credibility and that of the family? Anything that might increase the chance of Charlie regaining custody of Bella or Mason was unacceptable. If it happened, Edward knew, he and Rosalie would be united again in the clear-cut decision to kill Charlie Swan in cold blood. There was no question about it. Edward desperately did not want his hand forced like that, but what else could he possibly do? He couldn't let Bella return to that monster. It simply wasn't an option.
But...what if there were a third option? One that still wasn't ideal, but at least negated the worst issues with the other two?
Edward gazed softly at the sleeping girl in his arms. She needed her family with her—that was beyond obvious. And she needed to be out of Charlie's grasp for good, which only death or termination of Charlie's parental rights would accomplish. If she needed another option, Edward would damn well make another option. One that was more palatable to all involved.
From the other room, Edward heard Alice squeal. A heartbeat later, his mind was assaulted with the same brief image of Bella in the courtroom, this time much sharper and more distinct. The flash only lasted a moment—Alice's visions of Bella were notoriously unhelpful—but it was enough to solidify the idea in his mind. He kissed Bella's sleeping forehead briefly, extracting himself from her grasp and hurrying to the kitchen.
"Edward," Carlisle said when he entered the room and Esme turned to him, her eyes bright. "What's going on?"
"He made a decision!" Alice said, clasping her hands together. "I think it's a good one!"
"It won't be easy," Edward said carefully, "and it will require some cooperation from Heidi and her contacts."
"I honestly believe Heidi will do everything she can to help Bella," Esme said. "She seems very sincere."
"How quickly do you think we could push the trial through if we convinced her that waiting was deleterious to Bella's emotional health?"
Jasper started to smile. "You mean, see if we can get her to testify before she starts to really show?"
"Exactly." Edward felt distinctly nervous as he considered the implications of what they sought to do. Convincing Heidi would be the easy part. Getting a judge to agree and assembling the necessary people in the short window of time before Bella started showing would be far more difficult.
"We could get it out of the way sooner rather than later," Esme said, and it was clear that she already quite liked the idea. "Then Bella could relax in safety, and have her baby in peace. Oh, Carlisle, let's try. For Bella. Please?"
"I'm not averse to the idea," he said slowly, and Edward watched the thoughts in his father's head, weighing the pros and cons of all three choices. "You know this will mean greasing some wheels though, don't you? The wheels of justice** turn slowly. The preliminary hearing has been rescheduled twice now, and after that there's both family court and hopefully a criminal trial to go. That's a lot to ask of the state in the short time before Bella really starts showing."
"Money isn't an object when we're talking about the safety of our family!" Alice protested.
"That's not what I mean," Carlisle said soothingly. "Whatever else we may be, Cullens are certainly not cheap." He smiled at his daughter. "No, what I mean is that we're going to have to bribe our way into a courtroom. Technically, that's illegal, and I'm willing to bet Bella won't like it."
"So don't tell her," Alice said succinctly.
"Oh, no." The objection came from Edward, who had heard the thought in Alice's head before she voiced it, and who also knew that while it seemed like the simplest choice, it wasn't a good one. He was done hiding things from Bella, or attempting to run the show behind her back. She needed to know what was happening.
In fact, she needed to be the one to make the decision.
"We're going to ask her," he said firmly. "We're going to put the three choices on the table, good and bad, and we're going to let her choose. This is her life. I learned that lesson the hard way, and I'm not going to fuck up so soon."
"Bravo, brother," Rose said, slipping into the room, Mason asleep on her shoulder. He was drooling on a burp rag, but she didn't seem to care. "I'm damn proud of you."
Edward made a face at her, and she made one back.
"But this isn't like before," Alice insisted. "This isn't about what she wants to eat, or who prepares it. It's serious, and she isn't going to choose an option that has us paying money we otherwise wouldn't have to. You know she won't go for that."
Edward shrugged, sticking stubbornly to his insistence that Bella had to be the one to make this decision. "We have to give her that chance, Alice," he said. "Whatever choice she makes, we'll do our best to support her any way we can. That's what a family does."
"That's right," Esme said, smiling warmly. "That's exactly what a family does."
Bella woke late the morning after her night scare, and she was glad to find herself curled around Edward's firm body, one of his hands idly stroking her hair. She was wrapped in plenty of blankets so the chill of his skin did not bother her, and she nestled into the warmth of her soft cocoon, resting her head against his shoulder. "Hi," she said, wishing this was how she could always wake up—surrounded by his arms and the security they gave her.
"Good morning," he murmured, and he brushed a tender kiss against her forehead. "How do you feel?"
"Mmm...warm," she said, smiling softly. "Happy."
"I'm glad." He nuzzled the top of her head and she heard him inhale deeply, breathing in the scent of her. "I'm sorry I wasn't here when you woke during the night," he said, his voice laced with regret. "I was helping with the plumbing project, and then went with Jasper to show him where the deer were. I'm sorry."
"Don't be," she soothed. "You couldn't have known. Anyway, Carlisle helped me, and you're here now."
"Is that what you were scared of before?" he asked hesitantly. Bringing up those two nights he'd found her huddled and terrified in this house was not something he liked to do. "That there might be ghosts?"
"Please don't laugh at me," she said, squirming slightly in his arms.
"I'm not. Believe me, I'm not. I just wish I'd known, and maybe been able to help you sooner."
"I'm not really a very squeamish girl," Bella said, huddling close and letting him run his hands gently along her back. She could feel the pressure even through the blankets, and it felt nice. "Vampires—werewolves—whatever. Blood and guts, too. I spent way too much time with Charlie, who hunts and fishes, to be icked out by that. I don't know what it is about this place—maybe just how old it is, and how sad. Those tapestries—in the dark, all those faces were moving in the drafty room, and I just couldn't—" She stopped, shuddering.
"Shh, Bella, it's okay," Edward said, and he smiled. "There's nothing to be ashamed of. In a world where vampires exist, it's completely reasonable to wonder about other things, too. Ghosts actually make a lot more sense than vampires, in fact."
"Have you ever seen one?" Bella asked, peeking up at him.
"No. And I haven't sensed any thoughts I couldn't account for, either—that I couldn't attribute to this or that person. If they exist, ghosts do a good job of hiding themselves. Or maybe they're afraid of vampires. Most things are, you know. You're the exception to the rule."
Bella smiled, turning her cheek into his hand when he touched it. "I could be afraid, I guess, in another context," she said. "But you don't eat people, and you're so gentle. Trust me, I've seen human monsters far worse than you."
"I know you have, baby, and I'm sorry for that. So sorry." He pressed his forehead to hers, sharing breath, warm and cold, for a long moment.
"Please don't be sorry," she murmured, pulling her arms out of her nest of blankets and slipping them around his cool shoulders. "It isn't your fault, and hopefully soon I'll be rid of Charlie forever."
"About that..." Edward pulled away slightly so he could see her eyes. His were bright, burnished topaz—though he said he'd only taken Jasper to find the deer in the park, it looked as if he'd fed as well.
"About what?" Bella said quickly, her heart picking up speed and rushing nervously against her ribcage. "What's wrong?"
"Shh, nothing's wrong, sweet girl," Edward said hastily. "Nothing at all. We just talked last night after you fell asleep again—about our options for going forward. And we want your opinion on the best course of action."
"Whatever Esme and Carlisle think is best," Bella said quickly.
Edward smiled and kissed her lips softly. "We'd all like you to hear the options and decide for yourself, Bella. This is your life, and you wanted more control over it. Remember—that's what our whole fight was about?"
"But I don't know anything about the legal system," Bella said in a small voice as they slowly began struggling their way out of bed for the day. She found a pair of jeans and layered several warm shirts over her torso, adding thick socks and her sneakers.
"You don't need to. We're here to help you every step of the way, but the final decision really does have to be yours."
Bella took a deep breath. This was what she'd wanted, she told herself. She needed to take responsibility if she wanted her freedom, and she trusted Carlisle and Esme to help her if she needed it. The thought was daunting, though. How would she know the right decision? What if she made a bad one? Would the Cullens think less of her? Would they be willing to tell her if they disagreed with her?
Her thoughts were uneasy as she and Edward headed hand in hand to the kitchen, where Alice was already at work chopping vegetables to put in an omelette—clearly she was still not thrilled with the black pudding preoccupation. Bella let it slide, since she could eat pudding at lunch and dinner if she so chose, and poured milk to drink. Though the fetus in her belly seemed only to crave blood at this point, she figured it would still be best to try to keep a balanced diet that included plenty of calcium.
Edward didn't say anything about the fact that Bella was letting Alice cook for her, though he did narrow his eyes. Bella held her hand out for him and he came to stand behind her chair, rubbing her shoulders gently. She nuzzled his arm, watching his eyes soften at the touch. "I love you," she said quietly, and his eyes turned liquid.
"Love you," he murmured back, kissing her gently.
The awful screeching noise started up again, and all three inhabitants of the kitchen winced. Bella didn't know how the vampires with their superior hearing could stand it.
"Can you tell me about my options?" Bella asked Edward as Alice slid a steaming plate with a vegetable omelette in front of her. "What kind of choices are we talking about?"
So, as Bella ate, Edward outlined the three options they'd come up with the night before. They could put off any legal proceedings until after she had the baby, but that would mean more enforced separation from the family and a stressful, probably dangerous pregnancy, since Carlisle simply could not be in two places at once. They could let the wheels of justice progress at their own pace, but Bella would probably be heavily pregnant by the time she was required to go before a judge, and that would call both her own testimony and the parental fitness of the Cullens into question. Or they could see if they could somehow persuade the legal timeline to hurry up, putting a rush on Bella's case and hopefully finishing before her pregnancy really started to show.
"I like the third idea best," she said, mulling the choices around in her head as she dutifully tried to finish the meal Alice had made for her. It tasted off, and she already knew she was going to have a stomachache before long. This was a meal she had expressly taught Alice to make, so she doubted the problem was on the cooking end. Rather, her body was changing. The baby in her belly was demanding different foods than the ones Bella was accustomed to eating. She didn't have a problem with that, per se, but it did present a challenge when she didn't know what, other than black pudding, the fetus would tolerate.
"That's what we thought, too," Edward said in relief. He deliberately had not specified what sort of encouragement they could use to speed up the process, though he felt underhanded doing so. He hoped that perhaps she would see that it really was the best option before she started asking questions like that. Then, once she knew the full truth about what Carlisle and Esme planned to do, they could try to talk her into seeing that it was money well spent. Anything to ensure her safety.
"I don't want to be away from the family anymore," Bella added, finally pushing her plate away. "And I don't want to do anything that would make people think badly of Esme and Carlisle. Edward, I didn't even think—"
"Shh," he soothed. "I know, baby. I know you didn't. Jasper was the one who mentioned it; I didn't realize it either until he said something."
"But how can we convince them to hear my case quickly?" Bella asked with a frown. She slid out of her chair, carrying her half-full plate to the sink. Alice made a motion to protest, but one glance from Edward stopped her. "They've postponed it before. What would stop them from doing it again?"
"Money talks," Edward said slowly, watching her carefully as she scraped her leftovers into the trash and ran water to start washing the dishes.
Bella whirled, her face white, and stared at him with big eyes. "No!" she said, dropping a fork in the sink.
"Bella, listen—"
"No," she said again, turning off the water abruptly and wiping her hands on the thighs of her jeans. "Edward, that's bribery!"
"We're not paying for a verdict, Bella," Carlisle said, ghosting into the room on silent feet. He was dirty again—or still, perhaps—but his face was solemn as he spoke to his newest daughter. This was the best choice, and she needed to be okay with it. She wouldn't be physically safe attempting to carry this child to term without him close by to offer medical care, and if she went back to Forks visibly pregnant the results could potentially be disastrous for the trial. "We're just ensuring that your case gets heard in a timely manner. Honey, you may not like it, but the system works faster and better for people who can afford to grease the wheels a little. It's not the same as buying a guilty verdict for Charlie, much as I wish we could."
Still, Bella shook her head. "I can't cost you money like that," she said, her face pale. "It's not right."
"Bella," Carlisle said, frowning slightly as he took in her white complexion, "will you sit down for a moment, please? You don't look well."
Immediately Edward had a chair held out for her, and Bella sank into it with a curious look at Carlisle. He stepped forward and placed a cold hand on her cheek. She was a little warm, though she did not feel feverish.
"Are you feeling all right?" he asked, listening with keen ears for her heartbeat and that of the fetus within her. Bella's was a little fast, as if she'd been climbing stairs instead of standing at the sink, but the baby's was untroubled.
Bella shrugged. "My stomach's a little queasy," she said.
"What did you have for breakfast?"
"Eggs with spinach, zucchini, red peppers, and cheese." Bella glanced at the untouched milk on the table, only now realizing she hadn't swallowed any. Her stomach rolled as she listed the ingredients. It was an odd sensation, something caught just on the edge of nausea. Usually she would have savored such a meal.
"I cooked," Alice said, coming forward. "I hope I didn't mess it up."
"No pudding?" Carlisle asked, glancing from one daughter to the other.
Alice shook her head.
"Bella?"
"I'm not going to throw up," she said, paying attention to the uncomfortable feeling of her stomach. "I just don't feel very well."
"Why don't you lie back down?" Carlisle suggested. "Try to sleep it off, if you can. You can have some pudding for lunch if your stomach feels up to it, and see if that helps at all."
Bella nodded, feeling a headache beginning to come on. She raised her arms in entreaty to Edward, knowing he would understand what she wanted.
"I've got you," he soothed, picking her up and cradling her gently against his wonderfully cool chest. "You're going to be fine."
"I was just trying to help," Alice said repentantly. "It doesn't seem healthy to eat the same thing all the time."
"It might not seem healthy for a human," Carlisle said gently, "but if you think about it, we eat the same thing for every meal, and the child Bella is carrying is half vampire. If it needs blood, black pudding is one of the most benign sources and Bella is still getting some human nutrients from it as well. Let's let her body decide what she needs for now, and see how it goes. We have no precedents to follow, after all."
"I'm sorry, Bella," Alice said quietly.
Bella forced a smile, though she was feeling fairly miserable at the moment. She wasn't going to puke, but the food did not sit well in her belly, she had the beginnings of a headache, and she felt a little warm, as if she'd been running. Edward's body was heaven pressed against hers. "Can I have some ibuprofen?" she asked Carlisle, hoping to stave off the worst of the headache.
"If you think it won't upset your stomach anymore," he said, "you may. Edward can bring it to you after you get settled."
But getting settled was a bigger task than Bella had assumed. The rocking motion of her air mattress only exacerbated the nausea, and Edward was disinclined to let her sleep on the ground. In compromise, they agreed to try the bed in his room. He set her on the cool sheets, and Bella turned her face gladly into the chilly pillow.
"Feels good," she said.
"Does that mean you don't want a fire?" Edward asked worriedly. He was hovering, but Bella didn't mind at the moment. His care was actually rather nice.
"No fire," she said. "Just some medicine, please."
Edward brought her water and the pills, which she took from his hand without a qualm. Edward didn't know whether she trusted him completely after the way he'd drugged her previously, or if she just knew what the distinctive orange tablets were. Either way, she didn't question him, and after she swallowed the pills and water, she asked if he would stay with her.
"Of course," he said, stroking her cheek. "Where else would I go?"
"Would you read to me?" she asked hopefully. Her headache meant her eyes did not want to focus on words on a page, but she was more than happy to listen to Edward if he would read to her. She loved the soft, velvet quality of his voice, the way it wrapped her in a delicious kind of warmth.
"Gladly. What do you want?"
Bella picked the next history book on her list, hoping she would remember at least some of it when she started her lessons again. Edward dashed back to the library to fetch it, and when he returned she was already half asleep.
"I've got your book," he said, stroking her hair away from her face. This sudden blip on her health worried him, but he tried not to exaggerate it into something worse than it was. Alice had fed her something the baby apparently did not like, and this would soon pass. Then, as far as Edward was concerned, Bella could eat nothing but black pudding for as long as she liked. If it kept her healthy and happy, there was no reason to force her to eat other things.
"I don't feel good," Bella mumbled, pressing her cheek into the pillow.
"I know, baby. I'm sorry—I wish there was something I could do for you. Do you think you need Carlisle?"
She shook her head, frowning, before closing her eyes and nuzzling into the pillow. She looked small and vulnerably fragile, huddled in the big bed, her face pale and her eyes squeezed shut. Edward ached to take her pain away, but Carlisle had said to let her sleep it off. If that was the necessary solution, Edward would do all he could to soothe her to sleep.
As he stroked her hair and began to read quietly, half of his mind on the words and half on her face, an idea played at the edges of his thoughts. Bella had a kind of luminous, fragile quality to her, a wistful, sweet innocence that made people want to help her. She had enchanted his entire family without trying, and Mason's social worker—now Bella's social worker, too—had also seen and responded to her, vowing to help the girl in any way possible.
And maybe, just maybe, they could use that to their advantage. Maybe there was a way to get Bella's trial date moved up without bribing the justice system after all.
A/N: **Anyone who can correctly guess my real world link to something called "the wheels of justice" will get a sneak peek at the plot bunny I've been working on, another hurt/comfort Bella/Edward that will not be published until I finish ACAP. Bonus points if you don't Google it!
Next chapter, we get to see what Edward's idea was and if the rest of the family will like it. Also (brace yourself!) an update from Charlie.