A/N: Keep reading. Voting polls will be down in a few days. If you haven't already, get your vote in. At the end of this chapter, you should know what you are voting for if you haven't figured it out already. Also, it (this chapter) is graphic and emotional, and I cry every time I read it, so be warned.

Disc.: Standard blanket statement on non-creationism.

Twenty Nine Weeks

Lily was quiet as she dressed, her eyes not focusing on Scorpius who was still tucked into her bed. She knew his eyes were on her, examining her suspiciously. She silently wondered how long he had been looking at her that way. Her eyes looked up finally, meeting his.

"What?" Lily asked as she discarded a second pair of jeans that seemed a bit too snug. It was already beginning; the clothes were feeling too tight below her belly button.

"Um," Scorpius said shaking his head slowly.

"What?" Lily said as she snatched a wool dress, jerking it over her head and sliding up knit stocking over her knees.

"You look different," he said quietly as if he was trying to put together the pieces to a puzzle. Lily looked at him in surprise. She hadn't been aware that she looked any different.

"I need to get some color," Lily said dismissively as she pulled her hair up in a tie.

"I don't think it's that," Scorpius said. "In fact, your cheeks are quite rosy."

"Huh," Lily said as she gathered her purse. "So, I work Monday night until Thursday night. Do you have Friday off?"

"No," Scorpius said quietly as he continued to look at her.

"Will you call me?" she asked. Scorpius nodded and smiled slightly.

"Don't I always?" he asked. Lily hesitated and nodded.

"Yeah," Lily agreed.

"If you had a problem, you'd come to me, wouldn't you?" he asked. Lily hesitated. "Even if it was something you knew I didn't want to hear."

"I… yeah," Lily said as she looked at him. She forced a smile. "See you in a few days."

"Love you, Lils," he called as Lily left. She didn't respond.

"You look a bit guilty," Rose commented as Lily slid into the passenger seat of Rose's car.

"Shut it," Lily said quietly. Rose grunted quietly.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Rose asked.

"No," Lily said.

"How's the morning sickness?" Rose asked. Lily shook her head.

"I've not had any," Lily said.

"That's good," Rose said. Lily shrugged, facing forward. Rose sighed. "Tabby is moving around a lot, though Billy's yet to feel it. It's the most amazing feeling ever. We've felt Kate's belly, but feeling it inside you is so different."

"Hmph," Lily grunted as she continued to stare out the windshield.

"So, the place I want to take you is to St. Mary's Hospital," Rose said. "Specifically the maternity ward there. They have a nursery where they keep the little babies."

"Ok," Lily said quietly as Rose pulled the car into the parking deck.

"I have a friend names Lisa who is going to give us a tour," Rose said quietly. "She's a head technologist and I told her that you were pregnant."

"Not for long," Lily said quietly. Rose made a face.

"You said that you'd give me the weekend, Lily, and I am certain that I won't need it. I think after this visit, you'll change your tune," Rose said. "I want nothing more than to convince you otherwise."

"I know, and I appreciate it, Rose, I do, but I doubt that looking at little newly born babies is going to change my mind," Lily said. "I treat little babies occasionally when I have to cover the magical emergency department down at St. Mungo's. I never wanted to be a mum, and looking at babies won't change that."

"Maybe, maybe not," Rose said wisely.

"Let's get this over with," Lily said as she pushed the car door open. She looked a Rose. "You sure that you should be running around in your condition?"

"Me? I'm fine," Rose said. "It's funny, you're concerned for my well being, and Tabby's well being, but you have no concern for your baby."

"I'm not having a baby," Lily reminded her. Rose sighed and shook her head.

"Whether you want to believe it or not, Lily, you are having a baby," Rose said firmly. "Whether or not you continue the pregnancy, it is still a baby."

"Answer this, Rose. If the thing was endangering my life, would you feel the same? Would it matter if it was killing me and every second I carried it, it was killing me?" Lily asked. Rose looked at her.

"That's different," Rose said.

"No, it's not. It's not killing my literal life, but it is killing my life none the less," Lily said shaking her head as she opened the door to the hospital. "I can't think of it any other way."

"It's a baby, Lily," Rose said.

"I can't think of it that way," Lily said. Rose sighed and led the way to the maternity ward. Rose introduced Lily to a motherly like woman named Lisa. She was pretty, even in her advanced age. The women shook hands, Lily and Lisa, and then Lisa placed her hand on Rose's stomach and smiled.

"Lily, let me say that you are not the first woman whom has thought that they only had one option in life," Lisa said calmly. "I'm not going to push my philosophies down your throat like your dear cousin."

"I only do it because I love you," Rose piped up from behind the woman.

"Indeed," Lisa said. "I have worked as a Nurse Midwife for thirty years, and I really have seen it all. There is nothing scarier than having a child."

"Well, that's helpful," Lily said glancing at Rose.

"It's the truth," Lisa told Lily. The three walked down a hallway where women behind the wooden doors were screaming and delivering. The sound was chaotic, pained, and Lily felt her resolve more certain than ever that she could not be a mother.

"This is the room the babies come right after they are born," Lisa said in a quiet voice. She slid her card through a card reader and the door released. Lily and Rose followed her to the small darkened room. There were a few bassinets with tiny pink faced babies.

"I appreciate the cuteness of a baby, but it's not going to sway my decision," Lily informed her. "I have a niece and a nephew, so I know how sweet and darling babies can be. It's just not something I want for myself."

"Ok," Lisa said smiling. She led them out and to an elevator that took them down three floors. "This may be a little more swaying."

"I doubt it, but I gave Rose my word that I'd keep an open mind," Lily said as she glanced back at Rose. Rose nodded wordlessly as tears brimmed in her eyes. She knew she was losing the fight. Lily was set in her ways.

"This is our procedure ward," Lisa said quietly. "Depending on how far along you are, depends on the method that would be used by our technicians. I brought you here to see the other route that your baby could end up. You saw the pink, happy babies in the nursery, freshly born. This is the grim fate for babies that were never born."

Lisa pushed open a door where the bright lights reminded Lily of an operating room or a sterile lab. There was a bit of blood on the floor, bright red. Lily glanced back to see Rose had not followed her. Lily was on her own with this. Lisa donned a pair of gloves, giving a set of gloves to Lily. Lily put them on and followed Lisa to where a big bucket was.

"How far along are you?" Lisa asked. "Estimate."

"A few weeks, probably," Lily said. Lisa pulled the first bucket forward for Lily to see.

"These are the parts of babies terminated before the ever had a chance to make it out of their first trimester. Lily looked down at the bucket, warily. At first it looked like a bunch of bloody goo. "Go ahead, look carefully and you will see that these babies had feet and hands, heads and hearts. Smaller than sin, they were fully formed babies."

"I…" Lily trailed off as Lisa held up her hand for Lily to see.

"This baby was nine weeks along," Lisa said quietly. "His mother decided that he wasn't something she could have in her life."

"It's a he?" Lily asked. Lisa looked down, her face sad.

"It's dead, so its gender doesn't matter," Lisa said quietly. "This child had potential. It could have been the person to cure great disease, or to be an artist or musician. Instead, it will be incinerated."

"Oh…" Lily said with great hesitation. Lisa placed it back in the vat of parts and pieces.

"We do about 100 of these a week, as the biggest woman's health centers in the region. I see women all of the time who come in here, thinking that this is the only option that those mothers have," Lisa said quietly. She took off her gloves and threw them away. Lily followed suite, washing her hands and following Lisa out of the room. Rose was crying into her hands, mourning the loss of the babies she knew had lost their lives in that room.

"Rose, are you ok?" Lily asked in great concern.

"I'm just scared for you, Lily," Rose whispered.

"We have one last stop to make," Lisa said quietly as she led the two women away from the room and to another room. It was small and dark.

"What is this room?" Lily asked quietly.

"I'm going to take a peek inside you using this special tool," Lisa said. "Here's a gown."

"Do you want me to step out?" Rose asked quietly.

"No, why would I?" Lily asked. "It's not like you've not seen me undressed before."

"I was thinking more of the fact that if you get this ultrasound and still decide to end it, I don't think I could stand it," Rose said as she rubbed her stomach protectively.

"Look, Rose," Lily said as she climbed up on the bed, draping the sheet over her legs. "I admit, seeing the after effect was pretty heart wrenching, but I can't be a mother. I can't do this."

"Ready?" Lisa asked as she reentered before Rose could reply.

"Yes," Lily said. She put her head on the pillow and stared at the ceiling while Lisa adjusted the machine and dealt with the probe.

"Ok," Lisa said quietly. "Do you want to see or hear while I am doing the measurements?"

"I don't care," Lily said as she stared at the ceiling. Lisa looked at Rose and Rose nodded. The monitor was positioned that Lily could look should she want to.

"Well, dear," Lisa said quietly as she did her first measurements. "You are a little further along than I would have guessed. When was your last period?"

"About three weeks ago," Lily said.

"And the one before that was it lighter than usual?" Lisa asked.

"Yeah, how'd you know?" Lily asked.

"What about the one before that?" Lisa asked. Lily nodded slowly, looking at the woman.

"You are about eleven weeks along," Lisa said. "Your baby is about the size of a large lime." Lisa did a few more adjustments, the sound of paper printing in a hushed way. A sound filled the room, though the volume was quiet.

"What's that sound?" Lily asked as the room filled with the quiet sound of a heartbeat. It was quick, rhythmic. Her eyes hesitated to look at the screen and focused on Rose, who was smiling, her eyes closed.

"That's your baby's heart beat, Lily," Rose whispered as she listened. "Yours and Scorpius' baby."

"I… I can't be a mum," Lily said weakly.

"Your baby is sucking its thumb," Lisa said. Lily's eyes snapped to the screen and her eyes opened wide, tears filling in them. There in black in white, clear as day was a baby. Its fist was in its mouth and it was sucking its thumb, undeniably. Rose had moved to Lily's side, taking Lily's hand. Rose squeezed it.

"You know, it's going to be ok, Lily," Lisa said quietly. "No one is going to judge you with whatever your decision is, but you needed to know all the aspects of this."

"It looks like a baby," Lily murmured.

"I bet she or he would be a great piano player," Rose whispered. "Look how long its fingers are. You think you love Tina or Petri? The love you have for your own child trumps all loves that come before it. Your love for Scorpius, the love for your own life… it all changes Lily, but it doesn't have to mean you lose yourself."

"That's… that's my baby," Lily whispered as Rose dabbed a tissue at her eyes.

"Would you like to take some pictures with you? Go home, mull it over, and then make a decision after?" Lisa asked gently. "You still have plenty of time. Eleven weeks isn't that long."

"Please," Lily said as she got dressed. Lisa smiled and handed her the whole strip of photos she had printed. Lily stared at them, her ears already aching to hear the heartbeat again. "Is it normal to want to hear the baby's heartbeat again?"

"Yes," Rose said as she threw her arms around Lily gently. Rose had a huge grin on her face.

"Don't smile at me like that," Lily said weakly. "I've not made my decision yet."

"Yeah, you have," Rose said crying with a giant smile on her face. "I already know it, even if you haven't allowed your mind to wrap around it. You love him or her. You love your baby and you know it."

"I have to think," Lily said as she and Rose left the hospital. Rose drove Lily straight home, the day had already escaped them. Lily left her cousin smiling at her like a fool and Lily headed straight up to her room, undressing completely until she was down to her panties and a camisole. She looked up at the ceiling, her hands on the undeniable bulge. She closed her eyes and all she could see was her baby sucking her thumb. Tears welled up in her eyes, spilling down her cheeks.

She couldn't do it, but it was a new it that she couldn't do. Before, she was certain that she couldn't be a mother. Now she was certain that she couldn't NOT be a mother. This was her and Scorpius' baby growing inside her. Her and his son or daughter, growing and sucking its thumb. Lily closed her eyes tight, and all she could see was her baby sucking its thumb. Lily rolled to her side and picked up the phone. She dialed Rose's number, Rose picking up after the second ring.

"Lily," Rose said quietly.

"I can't do it, Rose," Lily breathed. Rose's heart stopped.

"Please, Lily," Rose begged.

"Rose, I can't kill it, my child," Lily cried softly into the phone. "Seeing it suck its thumb, I see it every time I close my eyes Rose. What am I supposed to tell Scorpius?"

"The truth, Lily," Rose said breathing again. Her words betrayed her smile. "He loves you and will do whatever you need for him to do."

"I'm scared," Lily said.

"Everything's going to work out ok, Lily," Rose said happily. "You're going to be a mum."

"I'm not even married," Lily said.

"Scorpius can help you with that," Rose said. "But, you don't have to be married to be a mum. That perfect little baby in your belly makes you a mum."