WOW. I'd like to thank Udumuhv, LeahEmrsn, and ShiningDay for their reviews; and Katrara Melody Cullen, girllyingbythesea901, and BlueEyedGunSlinger for the fav/alerts. I can safely say that those were the AWESOME-EST REVIEWS EVER! And, since ShiningDay broke the 50-review barrier, this one's dedicated to her. Thanks, everyone!

Oh boy... more sexual content. The plot will pick up in the next chapter, I promise... but for now, enjoy this sweet sorrow.

As always, I just wrote this; you know the usual warning.

-Scarlet

In dedication to ShiningDay...

Chapter 31: The Past Not Forgotten

December 29th 1931, 5:46pm

Boston, Massachusetts

My farewell to Edward had perhaps been the most difficult of my entire life. He knew me in and out, as though he'd met me long ago. He said that he would return to Carlisle's way of life, and maybe even live with his "family" again. I didn't recommend it; however, I was overjoyed to hear his conviction about feeding from animals.

We had departed Washington with little ceremony; Demetri allowed only Jasper to come with us, but then, only to the coast. He refused any suggestion for him to accompany me to Volterra, and I desperately tried to ignore this fact during the three days it took to cross the North American continent. We rarely stopped to rest or feed, and Jasper carried me on his back most of the way. I was thoroughly fatigued from lack of sleep by the time we arrived in Boston.

The city had changed substantially since the time I'd last seen it. Paved roads and street signs wound throughout the brick-and-mortar buildings of downtown. The evening streets were filled with busy humans, scurrying about to and fro. Jasper had some difficulty controlling his thirst around such a crowd, but soon we found refuge at a small inn – near the boat piers we... I would be departing from the following morning.

Though the roads and trees in town were covered in old snow, there wasn't a cloud in the fading purple sky. We had timed our entrance in town with the sunset, though Demetri and the children did not escort us. They had instructed me to meet them at the piers at nine in the morning.

Finally... some time with Jasper.

We had both become rather quiet around one another, knowing of what was to come. I had no idea what was waiting for me in Italy, or how long it would keep me there. So, as we settled into the tiny room at the inn, a mutual remorse filled the space between us. We had only hours left together...

I lifted the strap of my leather shoulder bag over my head and set it on the cloth sofa. A feather down bed occupied the space in the center of the room, and a vent from the heating furnace on the ground floor sat in the corner. Other than a few chair and a small stand, that was the extent of the furnishings.

"Jasper..." I turned to find him standing at the foot of the bed, hands clasped behind his back. He watched me with an unwavering, dark ocher gaze, filled with the reflection of my sadness. We stared at each other for a moment, sharing silent words of longing. Then, he closed the gap between us and folded me into a soft embrace. I clutched his shirt in my hands. "I want to stay with you," I said in a small voice.

"We'll be together again, Cora. I promise."

I turned my nose into the hollow above his collarbone and inhaled. His spicy scent was already imprinted onto my mind, but I wanted to keep a part of it with me... drown myself in it before it was taken away. My hands slid up the small of his back, along his spine, to the strong muscles of his shoulders. "I want more time," I pleaded pathetically.

"Sssh, Cora." His fingers dried the tears I hadn't realized sprang in my eyes. Before I knew it, I was lying on the softness of the mattress, nestled in Jasper's arms. He pulled the flannel sheet around us, and gently brushed my eyelids closed with his fingertips. "Sleep – you're exhausted."

I fought against my drowsiness and wiggled closer to him. "We must spend this time together... there's no time to sleep..."

His arm tightened around my waist. "Goodnight, Cora..."

My eyelids drifted, and my consciousness sunk into much-needed sleep.

*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*

Demetri's expression changed, and I could barely describe it as a smirk. "You choose wisely." He gave a quick motion with his hand, which signaled for Jane and Alec to release their prisoner.

I averted my eyes as the woman – Esme – was freed, and felt a sinking feeling when I heard her whisper Carlisle's name. However, to my surprise, she glided fluidly to my side. I tried not to flinch back when she took one of my hands between her cold, thin ones. "I don't know how I'll ever deserve this kindness. Thank you so much."

I narrowed my eyes at the young vampire. Her eyes, which had become a dark orange color from an animal hunt, shone with uninhibited appreciation. My heart hardened like stone. Perhaps if we'd met under different circumstances, perhaps in a less hostile manner... then I could have forgiven her. She seemed perfect – beautiful, kindhearted, longsuffering – which made my blood boil with jealously. What could he have found in her that I lacked? What made her more desirable than me? Why did he love her?

I pulled my hand away in one sharp movement, and nodded curtly. It was all I could do to keep from scratching that pretty face... the face he loved.

As she danced off to her dear husband, I didn't bother to hide the hatred in my glare. Keep your unruly wife, Carlisle Cullen. May she bring you much utter sorrow.

...

"Titus! Titus, no!" I bolted for the scene, and punched the first vampire so hard in the face that he fell off his feet. The second acted quickly, wrapping his arms around my neck from behind. "Let go! Titus!" I scratched at the vampire's arms and kicked to free myself. Again, I found him much stronger than me. His arms began to compress around my neck; he was going to snap it. "CARLISLE!"

Then, the impossible happened. Blood trickled down my neck; I stopped breathing.

"Carlisle..."

"I don't need him, Jasper... tell me I don't need him anymore..."

*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*#*

I jerked awake so quickly that a muscle in my leg tensed up. The tendon throbbed and tightened further when I tried to fight against it. Groaning, I reached down to rub the cramp.

A cool hand swept mine away and replaced its ministrations. I sighed softly as relief and calmness flooded through me. "Was it a bad dream?" Jasper asked softly.

I looked at his golden eyes, glowing yellow through the darkness, imploring my own worriedly. I smiled to show him I was alright. "Yes, just a dream."

I sensed that it was early morning; the small window overlooked the dim streets of Boston. Rain thrummed quietly on the roof, and wind whispered against the house. Jasper was propped on his elbow beside me, and his arm disappeared under the sheets to where he massaged my leg. I lifted myself closer to him, hoping he would stop touching me. He didn't, and chuckled lightly. "Am I doing this right?"

I leaned my head against his chest and curled my up against him. His hand moved with me. "You're doing fine..." I didn't bother to tell him that my calf was better already.

His soothing motions turned into soft caresses before long, and I savored the feel of his fingers against my skin. We stayed that way for several minutes; his gentle, circular rhythm lulled me back to lethargy...

When his fingers hesitated, my eyes snapped open.

"What did you dream about, Cora?" His stroking returned as he waited for my answer. "Your emotions were all over the place."

"Sorry..."

"Don't apologize."

His previous question hung between us for a moment, while I contemplated an answer. "The past. You know I only dream memories..."

"You dreamed about him," he presumed gently, "didn't you?"

My muscles tensed under his hand and his motions ceased completely. I bit my lip and waited for my reaction to come. "Yes..."

"You said you didn't 'need him,' Cora. You've never talked in your sleep before." He paused, sensing my emotions. "Don't be embarrassed, darlin'. I'll never judge you."

I tried to take his words to heart. I could tell he wanted me to say something more – his hand was still and his breath was bated – but I couldn't bring myself to open up. I already knew what I would find there if I did. "You know me, Jasper." I closed my eyes to keep myself from falling into the depth of his gaze. "That part of my life is over now... I only see you, only you."

Instead of gentle caresses, his hand then closed around my calf fully, sliding up to my thigh. The intimate gesture caused a shiver to run up my spine. He leaned his head down to my level and nuzzled his nose in my hair. "Do you know how much you mean to me?" he breathed against my ear, his lips brushing my jaw.

My heart skipped a beat as he pressed a kiss to the side of my neck. "My existence was empty before I met you, Cora... filled with doubt."

I once against pictured the horrors of his past... war, death, hatred. He had been the worst kind of soldier, and seen the worst kind of death. I let my hand travel to the twisted scar on his neck; it had been the wound that took his mortality. His lips stilled against my skin, and I felt his soft sigh waft across my neck. "You brought me back to life."

I let my head fall to the mattress, and our gazes met. He was smiling, his lips pulled over white teeth. I shared in his happiness, and leaned up to press our smiles together. My fingers drifted from his neck to his collarbone as we kissed softly, feeling the marred skin there as well. A terrible urge filled me suddenly, and I pulled back to see his eyes. I let my fingers fall to the buttons of his shirt, watching his eyes for permission to continue.

I saw acceptance. I saw gratitude. I saw love.

I'd seen his torso the first day we met, and on other occasions as well. Only during the hours of his absence did I let my fantasies wander to dangerous places... Each button eased through its hole swiftly, and I slipped his shirt from his shoulders in one quick movement. I traced my fingers over each scar that littered his chest, his abdomen... then I leaned up and kissed the prominent mark on his neck.

He groaned softly as my lips traveled down his body, laying soft kisses on each scar as I went. My body came alive as his hands traveled up my legs, over my hips... A fire kindled itself within me. My fingers traced what hard skin that my lips missed, and his hands mirrored my motions, creating friction against my thin blouse.

"God, Cora," he breathed, sounding more out of breath than he should have been. "Oh, God... You don't know how that" – my fingers brushed a nasty mark by his nipple – "aahh!"

He lifted me up by the waist, crashing my lips to his. I pressed my body closer to him as his tongue prodded my lips, and took him into my mouth with a sigh. My fingers twined in his hair as I tasted him – so sweet and addicting – and his hands ran up and down my sides. But it wasn't enough... I needed to be closer...

I'd sat back and ripped my shirt over my head before I spared it second thought, and pressed our bare chests together as I kissed him roughly. I felt Jasper tremble against me as our skin brushed each other's. My breath was fast, my heartbeat heavy as his hands touched my now-bare body.

All too soon, he gripped my arms and pulled away. His shocked eyes moved down my scarred body, from my shoulders to my stomach. I stayed very still as his hands gently traced the same path, pausing on the vivid, snow-white scars scattered about. "Cora, I... I had no idea..." I shivered when his deft fingers brushed my ribs.

I just about snapped from the tension in my body. "Jasper, I need you..." My hands tarried at his hips, and my own need burned between my legs. I pushed myself up on my knees and kissed his jawline twice. "Make love to me, Jasper," I hissed into his ear.

A shockwave of surprise reverberated between us, and all our motions stopped in a split second. I pulled back, knowing I had ruined everything. It was improper and unladylike... ridiculous for a woman to say. I tried to swallow my words, feeling regretful and dirty.

But he caught my wrist before my hands left his chest, and a low growl rumbled against my fingertips. Slightly frightened, I looked up at his eyes, which were nearly black. I felt lust pool between us in a rush of heat and excitement.

"I want you to dream about me, Cora." A flicker of chagrin crossed his face as he leaned down to take my lips once again. "You don't need him anymore."

We became one that night.

Oh my God... I'm so embarrassed. I never write like this, I swear.

Please review and tell me how terrible it was.

-Scarlet