Author's Notes – Fun fact: the title for this chapter was the working title of the fic, based off of a song by 10 Years. I loved the lyrics in it (seriously listen to the song if you can) but it proved to be a little too generic title-wise. Also, happy 100k to me! :D

(FYI - I posted this via tablet as I'm currently without laptop. Will fix formatting later.)

Chapter XXXIII – One More Day

I knew there would be no realization that we were mistaken about what was happening to interrupt us this time. Even if it was yet another bluff, even if I had more than the day she said I could have, it did not matter. I was reminded yet again of the control I did not have. That Squall didn't have. This is why this was happening right now. It was something that could be freely offered and accepted on our terms. No invisible hand pushing us to action or inaction, it was something done with consent, it was a choice and not the result of some kind of ultimatum.

It didn't matter if this lasted two seconds or two minutes, it meant so much to me already at the first nanosecond.

Still, when I reached for him in kind, I did so gently as to not risk unsettling his balance and this moment as a whole. I knew that if I accidentally made him fall forward, this could all end in awkwardness and-

But that didn't happen, I reminded myself.

He was gripping me as tightly, if not more so than a few hours ago, and he wasn't going anywhere. His hands were warm and his chin was firmly nestled in the crook of my neck. I took a chance by sliding my hands away from his ribs and towards the center of his back. Squall didn't seem to notice the sparks I was creating underneath my fingertips as I skimmed the material of his shirt – he remained static, steadfast.

But then he lowered his arms to loop them around my waist and it took me by surprise. So did the subsequent pull to shrink the space between us a little.

Maybe he had noticed the sparks after all. Or maybe he needed this closeness as much as I did. Or maybe hugging each other with enough of a gap for a Chocobo to pass through was killing his back.

Whatever it was, it banished all the doubt that had somehow crept into the far corners of my mind. With the weight cast aside, I stood up to make the last of the gap disappear. And while he immediately lifted his head off me and took a half step back, his hands had remained where they were the whole time.

There was no gap to be heard of as I looked up at his slightly bemused expression for a moment before I rested the side of my face against his chest. As some of said face was brushing up against skin instead of shirt, the action elicited a small but sharp exhale from him – I forgot that my hair wasn't fully-dry yet and obviously he didn't have the same barrier from wearing a thick cowl knit like I did. I couldn't help but look up again just to notice that he was looking down at me.

'Sorry. Forgot you aren't wearing my blouse.' I quietly sent.

His bemused look intensified. '...Why would I be?'

I…probably could have phrased that better.

'You wouldn't. I just meant that I should have remembered that wet hair plus skin contact equals 'cold stethoscope'-levels of fun. Unfortunately, my brain went two tangents ahead of me before the words came out of my mouth so yeah…super fun times.'

'You're right. Except for the fact that it had nothing to do with your hair.'

I'm pretty sure my brain, heart and stomach all decided to revolt on me and attempted a daring escape through my mouth. I felt strangely hollow, yet ready to puke my brains out, flatline and my ability to string words together was continuing to evade me. That being said, the aforementioned organs' jailbreak attempt was thwarted by a well-timed gulp.

"My powers doing something else to you?" I squeaked. No sooner had I said it had he shook his head. "Not feeling ok? Should I-"

"Rinoa, just stop." I did. "When you rested your head, I suddenly had flashbacks of what happened hours ago. It…took me by surprise."

I had been crying then.

"If it's alright with you, I want to ask something." I asked - a second or two later, he nodded.

But I wouldn't now.

"Be honest, what was going through your mind when you hugged me then?"

"…I thought that it was cruel that someone who had hope for a better future had that hope crushed in an instant…all while someone like me would get to see another day." he plainly answered, his words roiling with sparked resentment. ' …And it's happening all over again.'

No matter how much I wanted to.

I shook my head. 'No matter what they want to believe, keeping us apart isn't going to solve anything. It's going to make it worse. I just know it.'

This was another crossroad in my life. But, for the first time, I don't know which way to go.

'As far as we can assume.' he pointed out. 'Which isn't saying much considering the likelihood of vital information being deliberately withheld.'

Because before now, I usually let other people and life make that choice for me.

'Even if that's the case, you and I both know that we deserve to know the full extent of their reasoning – more so now than ever. And considering anything it's been made clear we thought we stood to lose is already lost, there's really no point in staying silent.'

And it was time to change that.

Once he nodded in agreement, it was like we collectively remembered the position we were in as his hands shifted upwards a little. I couldn't help but let the corners of my mouth upturn a little. I also couldn't help but remember about what Allison said about the 'I need to know I'm alive' thing last night. It was almost like Squall had this habit, only with hugs instead of sex and the realization alone was made me want to squeal at how adorable it was. If I, well, conveniently ignored the root cause for the instances, that is.

'But before we go and do that, let's end this hug on a good note instead of doom and gloom, ok?''

The resulting mildly-concerned look on his face was equally as adorable. As my hands were kind of occupied at the moment, I couldn't playfully swat him. In lieu of that, I just skipped straight to my nefarious plan.

Which was to put my head against him again despite my hair still being wet and hug him tighter.

"Thank you Squall."

He was noticeably less tense after that – his hands drifted back to their original resting spot even.

We stayed like this for I don't know how long but it somehow simultaneously felt too short a time and yet long enough for a small eternity to have passed. Admittedly, someone with my kind of track record insofar as what and where I spent my time on probably wouldn't be the best judge of it but…

"…Rinoa?"

I lifted my head from the side of his chest and looked up once more. I could see that there was something on his mind but he wasn't saying or sending anything just yet.

"Yes Squall?" I replied, hoping it would encourage him.

"Do you know what's in that pink bag with your name on it?"

I wasn't sure why that required so much mulling over to ask but then considering it was probably Allison's doing…yeah, never mind. I understood perfectly why he wasn't sure if he wanted to cross that bridge.

"Three leaf clovers." I nonchalantly answered.

The look on his face was priceless - mostly because the said look kept on changing. It was a loop-de-loop of not looking surprised, then sporting a frowny concentrated face, then the smidge of confusion and finally back to something vaguely resembling a blank face if not for the teeniest hints of resignation.

"…It shouldn't have taken me this long to realize you were referencing to what she always jokes about."

"It was either that or go the opposite route and say that she stuffed condoms in there. And let's face it – it's not as effective as a joke when neither of us would put it past her as something she'd actually do in a very non-joking way."

"At this point, I wouldn't put anything past her. Even three leaf clovers."

"Yep. Allison works in mysterious ways so you can't ever know what she'll come up with next. It could be condoms, it could be monogramed badger socks or it could be the password to the wifi. You just never know."

To his credit, he didn't let go of me until I let go of him first. I sidestepped a little so I was a cushion over before sitting down right beside the bag. It was probably going to be something I'd need to sit down for considering what she pulled right now. Squall turned around and took the space on my right, resting his hands on his lap. There was a sliver of space between us – enough so that his leg wasn't brushing up against mine but close enough to where the heat of his general presence was still there.

Without missing a beat, I just unzipped the bag in as few motions as possible and plunged my right hand in. The first thing my hand hit was the texture of the fine edges of a folded paper acting as a divider inside the small bag. Even after I fished it out, I could feel something else was still lingering at the bottom but I ignored it for the moment as I set the pouch on my lap right side up.

Unfolding the cream-coloured paper allowed me to see that it had a jagged side, making me realize that this was a section torn from its source and that I was forming a rather large lump in my throat. Upon further inspection, I noticed that the non-serif print was tiny and uniform; the gradual fading of the ink suggesting that it was written out via typewriter. This had to have been very old or at least personal if it wasn't done with some kind of standardized printing process.

And upon even further inspection of the first couple paragraphs, I knew with certainty that Allison hadn't planned to say what she did this morning. I could recognize my father's tidy, microscopic printing anywhere and the RINOA emblazoned on the bag, which wasn't even mine as I didn't own anything in this shade of pink, was practically screaming that this was Allison's handiwork.

-awakening is often but not always congruent with continued proximity of a viable knight candidate, regardless if such a working relationship is knowingly sought by the sorceress. During this time, her powers mature though sometimes display erratically until control is learned. A common side-effect of this congruence is the development of a parasitic relationship in which the candidate is the beneficiary – the sorceress's fledgling powers instinctively imbue the target with various protective, restorative and/or otherwise augmentative powers, providing positive reinforcement associated to remaining around her general proximity.

Depending on the level of inherent skill the sorceress possesses on the onset of the awakening, this can also cause withdrawal-like symptoms should the proximity or relationship with the target cease – in extreme cases, extreme disorientation and/or death can occur from the shock of the severance. This phenomenon is also possible after a sorceress gains control of her magical faculties, though less likely. It is believed that the Cursing-Martyr Sorceress has been the only known case thus far of such occurrences, having many suitors prior to her demise spontaneously collapse and perish upon being dismissed from service.

It is speculated that the catalyst event largely influences whether or not a sorceresses chooses to accept the mental and physical protection a knight traditionally offers as they are not necessary for a sorceress's continued existence. Not much else is known about what triggers a shift from the aforementioned parasitic nature of a union inadvertently forged by immature sorceresses however. Given the volume of past depictions of symbiotic sorceress-knight relationships, further speculation suggests that

The page ended there. And there was no other side to the page – it was just some kind of illustration pertaining to the previous section given the page number was the smaller of the two. And by the looks of things, it was an illustration for some kind of contraption I really, really did not want to know any more about.

"…I take it that it's not the wifi password."

I unglued my eyes away from the piece of paper and sighed as I looked at him.

"Unless my father was really set on having part 1 of a crash course on sorceress puberty for it, then I'm afraid not." I huffed.

"Anything useful?" he asked before the pained look on my face made him rephrase the question, "…Anything relevant?"

"Relevant in the sense of having confirmation that Allison really didn't plan on saying what she did then." I answered. 'Or…ever.'

That last addition slipping out made him reach out for the paper to read it over himself. With nothing else to busy myself with before his inevitable reaction, I stuck my hand in the bag again to see what was still in there. Because after reading that folded page, at least I didn't have to worry about Allison being cheeky – knowing that you basically doomed someone to either a life of servitude or death was definitely a permanent buzzkill.

My hand fished out another piece of paper, only more folded over so it was smaller but thicker as a result – worn out and crinkly too. After unfolding it once, I couldn't see any torn sides, holes or lines, leading me to believe it was a piece of standard printer paper. But on the same token, I couldn't find anything printed on it either the more I unfolded. It was only when I finally smoothed the entire thing out did I see something on the paper other than the creases.

hamper

peanut butter

instant coffee

disinfecting wipes

body wash

bandages

If it weren't for the fact that it had been folded many times over in a very precise manner, I would have assumed that Allison had accidentally put an old shopping list in the bag but…maybe it was put in like that on purpose so it would be written off as such? Most of these things were bathroom items so I figured that it was a clue – especially considering that the odd item out was the hamper.

I looked at Squall who'd finished reading.

"I think this other page is a clue to something." I said, waving the page at him. "I'm going to check the bathroom. I'll be back right after."

Though it looked like more words were on his tongue and mind, he simply nodded as I handed him the page. I got up after that and made a beeline to the bathroom. Inside, my first thought was to check out the cupboards underneath the sink where all of the spare toiletries were only to find nothing but those very items. Well, that and all of the evidence of the prior test stuffed into clear heavy-duty plastic bags – and for practical reasons, I didn't touch those. Officially declaring the cupboards a tidy bust, I turned around and checked the shelves above the toilet to see if there were things slipped under or in the towels.

…Nope. Just towels, towels, towels.

Ok. Considering that I doubted there was anything in the shower, I walked up to the hamper in the left corner of the room.

Holding my breath, I opened the lid and didn't see anything other than discarded ivory towels and clothes. I then reached down and checked underneath them for good measure and…nope – no plastic jars, containers or even labelled plastic zip baggies to be found.

Admitting defeat, I closed the lid and turned around to sit on it to regroup for a moment.

Ugh. I should have known better than to get my hopes up. I mean, if she was able to stick a page about sorceress transformation then why not stuff more relevant info in there anyway? And really, now that I thought about it, something as conspicuous as a pink bag with my name on it would have guaranteed that anyone who saw it would be tempted to look in it. Who was to say the contents of the bag weren't picked over already? Granted, it was a bit of a longshot considering the page that was left in there but…I was out of excuses. And the fact of the matter was that I was really disappointed, any way you sliced it.

The moment must have ballooned out to longer than I'd thought because I heard a knock on the door. As it didn't take a genius to figure out who that was, I got off of the hamper and opened the door.

"Sorry I took so long Squall – the search was a bust." I apologized. "Did you want to go back and have some of the coffee Allison brought down and discuss what we should do next?"

"Eventually."

"Eventually?"

"Yes, eventually." he repeated. "But I think we need to discuss the chocobos in the room first because they keep on breeding like Grats and waltzing in here."

I gulped. Mixed metaphors or no, there was no escaping any chocobos now – I was cornered in this room as Squall filled the entire door frame. Or at least filled it enough to the point where I would be very liable to trip over a limb and make things way more awkward than it needed to be.

"Though it wasn't intentional, I never did answer your question from last night and considering everything that's happened just now…I think it's important to answer you." he began.

I couldn't remember what kind of question this was for the life of me. It might have been only mere hours ago, but it was starting to feel like another lifetime at this point.

"You asked me if I would have stuck around if it weren't for your powers and the situation we're in."

"-Oh right. Now I remember." I bit back the urge to bite my lip, not sure where he was going to go with this. I hoped my face looked neutral-enough as I decided to play along and repeat the question from yesterday. "So…would you have stuck around?"

"No."

I think I legitimately did a double take at how fast he answered that.

"…I feel like I should be really offended right now."

He shrugged. "I wasn't expecting you be anything but."

"But I said that I feel like I should be, not that I am." I clarified. "I just have this vibe that there's more behind your no."

He shook his head. "No, I meant it. As you had said, we're very different people." he elaborated. "Had we met under different circumstances where I wasn't in the situation I was in, I probably wouldn't have given you the time of day."

I furrowed my brows, unsure about where this was going or what the chocobos he'd referred to actually were. Knowing you had finite time with someone tended to do funny things to people.

"There may be some doubt about this connection influencing me but…regardless of the sorcery, meeting you allowed me to get the closure I wouldn't have obtained otherwise and I am thankful for that. Even if this ends badly and we get separated after today…it's already more than what I would have had otherwise. Don't convince yourself that you owe me anything. If you got the wrong impression from earlier, I promise you that it was said out of uncertainty, not entitlement. I'm not your ward - I chose to be here."

But this…? This was not the kind of funny I was expecting.

"It's still hard." I replied. "Knowing that we have this connection and that I don't know how to control it so you can live your own life… I worry a lot that I'll somehow ruin everything for you or add to the doubts in your head about whether you're being manipulated by accident. Or that I can be helping so many people but I can't risk putting myself out there because I might be taken advantage of or get people's hopes up for a cure that might never come. I know that Allison and my father mean well by keeping me from hurting others and myself accidentally but…after being in isolation for so long, I know that's no life for anyone who didn't choose it – being lonely in a different place won't change anything in the long run. I realize that I'm sounding like a broken record but…"

"You can't sound like a broken record if the needle wasn't even put on the vinyl."

I blinked.

"I understand that you don't want to burden me with thoughts and fears when it seems like I've got my own set of problems to deal with." he continued. "But we're already dealing with people who have good intentions but refuse to give us complete and non-misleading answers for what is perceived to be our own good. Trust me when I say I don't need to be shielded."

And then I suspected my expression softened some. "Thank you…again."

He nodded before taking a step back so I could leave the bathroom with him.

"Coffee then polite dissent?" I asked afterwards, he looked back at me.

"…Coffee then polite dissent works for me."

I smiled.

When he extended his hand to me after that exchange, it took me a second to process what he was doing but I ended up obliging him despite the brevity of our trip back to the rec room.

Even though the trek lasted about five or six steps max, it felt nice to have a little extra reassurance and solidarity in arms' reach. ...Even if my hand was teeny enough to make intertwining our fingers a bit of a challenge.

"…Squall?" I softly called out to him after we'd crossed the threshold of the room.

"…Hm?"

Keeping his right hand in my left, I stopped and turned to face him at the foot of the couch.

"If I didn't make it super obvious before, I…really appreciate that you're still treating me like a person instead of a problem to fix."

He furrowed his brows. "If an act of basic human decency is something meriting verbalized appreciation over then you clearly need this coffee more than either of us anticipated."

I was taken aback at first, but the more I mulled it over, the more I realized he did have a point.

"Maybe I do, Squall. Maybe I do."