Alright, to start off, I know that some people have been waiting for this chapter for a long time. Thing is, I have 2 projects, a brand new fanfic, and writer's block at the same time, but I finally finished this chapter! Also, I proudly present the first four chapters of my new fic, Konoha Invades Fanfiction!
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, Sasuke, Sakura, Kakashi, Kiba, Hinata, Shino, Kurenai, Hidan, Kakuzu, Pain, Konan,...WHOA! -Gets pulled off the stage-
My apologies, I couldn't do a short story today, but here's the actual story!
Chapter 34: Who Gets Kidnapped?
Last Chapter: Ino and Shikamaru gave Sakura what's coming to her and Naruto and Hinata's "fight" comes to a close as the Akatsuki finally showed their faces, and Pain is trying to kidnap Hinata, along with the newly reincarnated Hobo! Will they succeed?
"Naruto-kun!" a worried Hinata said, running up to Naruto and getting ready to duel.
"Don't worry, Hinata-chan, as long as I'm here, you'll NEVER get taken away! Believe...it?!" Naruto yelled confidently, as Hinata was already kidnapped, in the arms of a snickering Tobi. She was rendered unconscious, and for once, it wasn't because of Naruto.
"Okay, never mind..." Naruto said, and Tobi yelled, "Yay! I stole Hinata for you, Pain-sama! Wheee! Am I a good boy now? Am I? Am I? Am I?"
"Yes, you're a good boy," Pain grumbled sarcastically and resentfully.
"Yay! I'm a good boy! A GOOD BOY! Yay! Yay! Wheee!" Tobi cheerfully said.
"Alright, that's enough..." Pain answered, putting on his earplugs.
"GOOD BOY! GOOD BOY! GOOD BOY LIKE SOME LOSER MAMA'S BOIEEE!!"
"SHUT THE CHUCK UP!!" Pain yelled, and Kisame hit Tobi in the head with his giant sword.
"Ow...I'll stop being a good boy now," Tobi answered, but a new figure appeared in the shadows! But wait...could it be?!
"It's Chuck Norris! Yay!" Lee announced, and everyone gave him the "What the hell are you talking about?" look.
"Uh...you guys do not know of the almighty Chuck Norris? He is the greatest taijutsu fighter, only outmatched by Gai-sensei and Bruce Lee! He is my greatest hero after Gai-sensei! HUG!" Lee answered, bawling and laughing manically, running into Chuck Norris's arms, which knocked him away, and he said in third person, "Chuck Norris doesn't give hugs. He gives roundhouse kicks!" and knocked Lee away with one, who was spiraling and still smiling.
"You are the greatest, Mr. Norris! Other than Gai-sensei!" Lee yelled, crashing into the ground.
Tenten and Neji both sweatdropped, and Neji said, "That...was..."
"Typical Lee," Tenten finished, shaking her head and smirking, and they readied their dead chickens for battle! But Tobi and Hinata were already gone from the scene!
"Hinata-chan!" Naruto screamed in panic and anger.
"Lee!" Ino yelled, worried for his safety.
"Penis!" Sai screamed in joy, after he saw the Hobo drop his boxers for some reason.
"How the hell does that orange swirly face guy move so fast?" Chuck thought out loud. "No matter, I will destroy you all! Nothing can defeat me!" he screamed, charging and already knocking Kisame and Zetsu out with two simple roundhouse kicks. Konan was the next to be struck, the kick rendering her helpless.
"As my internet fanbase loves to say...You are all n00bs," Chuck announced, thinking the battle would be a piece of cake.
"Oh no, you don't! I am god! GOD!! I hax0r!" Pain screamed, releasing all six Pains by hax0ring, and they all charged toward Chuck Norris, who merely said, "Tornado Kick: Kaiten Style!" and jumped up, sweeping his leg around into a giant, spinning roundhouse kick and rotating chakra rapidly around him, diverting all six Pains into different directions and knocking each one out.
"We're not done yet! Taste my art!" Deidara yelled, taking out some explosive clay and molding it into birds with his hand-mouths. He dropped two on Chuck Norris...but they were duds!
"Ever hear of Play-Doh?" Chuck asked the blond Akatsuki.
"NOOOOOOO!!" Deidara yelled, thinking of all the nightmares he had trying to mold the ineffective Play-Doh. He also fainted, without any physical attack.
"Heh...I guess it's down to you, Emo-Weasel," Chuck triumphantly said, ducking into a pose. He charged toward Itachi, who then started activating his Mangekyo Sharingan.
"Close your damn eyes!" Kakashi yelled, but he was too late...Chuck was being swirled into a world of endless torture.
-At the Tsukyomi-land-
"I already told you, nothing can defeat me, so surrender and I won't have to roundhouse you!" Chuck said in an arrogant manner, and Itachi replied,
"Well...I logically thought about this and you claim that nothing can beat you."
"Yes. So?" Chuck Norris stated.
"Welcome to the world of Nothing," Itachi murmured, walking off into the distance and everything was transforming into...nothing!
"Crap! He found my one weakness!" Chuck yelled, defeated.
-Back in the real world-
Chuck Norris crawled into fetal position, squirming, and Itachi seemed unaffected and detached from all of these happenings, even though he was the cause. He had only one care, and was staring at only one person right now. Sasuke.
What surprised him was, that after Chuck came out of the Tsukyomi, Sasuke ran up to Itachi and got him in a giant death-hug.
"Itachi nii-san! I...I'm s-s-...sorry! Wait, how are you still alive?" Sasuke said emotionally.
"The forbidden revival technique..." Itachi replied, not yet returning the hug.
"I...Itachi..." Sasuke cried, sobbing slightly into Itachi's clothes.
"Yes, I love you, too," Itachi answered warmly, patting Sasuke's back now.
"Aww..." the crowd said, affectionate, until someone yelled, "Hey! That's the bastard who killed the Uchihas!"
"Yeah! Let's destroy him!" another civilian screamed, and they would've charged, but Tsunade intervened just in time.
"Wait! All of you! Itachi is not an enemy of Konoha! He is...a double agent!"
Confused murmurs went all around, and even Kakashi opened his eyes wide at this statement. That was when Itachi's body started disappearing along with the other Akatsukis'.
"I'm sorry...I must take my leave, little brother. Kill me later if you must, but I must continue my own mission, so this...is farewell," Itachi said to Sasuke, a tear dropping out of his eyes for the first time in what seemed like an eternity.
"No...Wait! Wait! Itachi!" Sasuke screamed, Itachi now blowing in the wind as dust, and the other Akatsuki also disappeared and were transported back in some kind of genjutsu.
"Wait! Give Hinata-chan back!" Naruto yelled into the air at the nonexistent Akatsuki members. Itachi's voice rang up again, saying, "We cannot do that yet...and I must adhere to this mission. However, you may see Hinata again...but we must perform...experiments on you."
"What, do you mean that gay stuff that Orochimaru used to do to little boys?" Naruto asked.
"Ew, no, that's why we kicked that little snake pedophile motherfucker out! We are simply performing experiments on both of you because of your bijuu, or tailed demons!" Itachi answered.
"Well...I'd normally beat the shit outta you, but Hinata-chan's life is at stake, so I go in peace."
"Okay," was Itachi's simple reply before Naruto also disappeared, and his last words were, "Take care of yourself, Sasuke."
"Hinata-chan, Itachi, and Naruto-dobe?! NOOOO!! Go to hell, Akatsuki!" Sasuke bursted, already charging a Chidori and running off into some random place that probably wasn't the Akatsuki HQ.
"Whoa, stop being so reckless! We will send a team of seven to retrieve the spy, Itachi, and also Naruto and Hinata, but if you go by yourself, you'll meet certain death!" Tsunade said, worried about both Naruto and Sasuke.
"Hn...these teams better be good!" Sasuke blurted, and Tsunade nodded, saying,
"This is Naruto we're talking about! He's like a son to me! I will send a random ANBU member, you, Neji, Tenten, Choji, myself, and the team leader will be...Shikamaru."
"Why is it always me?! Troublesome woman!" Shikamaru yelled at Tsunade, who threw a rock in his face and said in a rage, "So, ya got a problem with troublesome women?! Then try fighting one!"
"Erm...no thanks. I'll think of something strategic...This is for Naruto, after all...and Hinata...troublesome women," Shikamaru answered lazily, seeing Tenten glare at him.
"Can't you think of another stupid catchphrase other than that sexist gloating of yours?!" Temari yelled, smacking her boyfriend hard across the head with her closed fan.
"Ow...and can't you think of a better way of saying goodbye?...Troublesome wo...I mean see ya, Temari-chan!" he said, seeing her also getting worked up in fury.
"Well then, can we go? As head of the Hyugas, I decree that..." Neji started, before Tenten said, "We get it, you want Hinata-san back! Just shut up and start running!", smacking Neji with a dead chicken, as the couple ran out of town.
"Er...okay, wanna follow them?" the random ANBU suggested.
Tsunade said, "Yeah, why not?...Oh, shit, I forgot to tell them that the Akatsuki has a giant neon sign with their name on the front! Let's charge!", running for Tenten and Neji, and the search for Naruto and Hinata began.
"The future Hokage...already screwed over. How troublesome," Shikamaru sighed, taking the potato chip that Choji handed to him.
Well, sorry this chapter probably wasn't as funny as the normal ones, but this one was needed for plot, so I had to make it somewhat serious. The Akatsuki lair is where 'da laughs at! Also, next chapter: What happens to Naruto and Hinata? And is Pain really going to do it with Hinata? Find out later!
(All polls so far finished)
Match results so far:
(18)Hinata def. (1) Kakashi
(17)Sakura def. (2)Gai;
Quarterfinal match: (18)Hinata def. (17)Sakura
(15)Naruto def. (16)Konohamaru def. (3)Neji
(4)Kurenai def. (14)Choji;
Quarterfinal match: (15)Naruto def. (4)Kurenai
(10)Sai def. (5)Ibiki def. (13)Kiba
(6)Iruka def. (12)Ino
Quarterfinal match: (6)Iruka def. (10)Sai
(7)Lee def. (11) Shikamaru
(9)Tenten def. (8)Shino
Quarterfinal match: (7)Lee def. (9)Tenten
Semifinal Matchups:
(18)Hinata def. (6)Iruka
(15)Naruto def. (7)Lee
Finals Matchups:
(18)Hinata vs. (15)Naruto (duh)
But first...(15)Naruto def. Sasuke (unranked) / (18)Hinata def. Hanabi (unranked)