Chapter 37: Start of Something Good

Chris went home after work that day still thinking about what Fin said to her. She put dinner on the stove then went to check Jeza's journal. Her blood pressure was responding to the medication the doctor had given her and she was feeling a lot better. She had a doctor's appointment the next day. Sophia had agreed to take her since Chris had to work. Javi wouldn't be able to go with her this time because it was during school and he couldn't miss much more class. Jeza was hoping that the doctor would say she didn't have to be on bed rest anymore and could go back to school. Her father suggested that she leave school early and stay home until the baby was born but both she and Chris disagreed. She'd have a hard enough time keeping up with her school work after the baby was born so Chris thought she needed to stay in school for as long as she could. Jeza was more worried about time with her friends than keeping up in school. When Robbie got home from work they sat down to eat dinner. There was a light conversation going but Chris wasn't really participating. Robbie Sr. noticed that his daughter was distracted.

"Lo qué está mal, mija?" he asked. She didn't respond so he reached over and tapped her shoulder. She looked over at him. "Lo qué está mal?" he asked again.

"Nada" she said softly.

"Venga, hable con su padre".

"Es nada" she said again. "Just work" she lied. She wasn't used to talking to her father about her relationship problems. She'd never really had any relationship problems to talk to him about. Now the thought of talking to him about her and Amanda felt unusual. He gave her the usual speech about how she worked too hard and should take a vacation. They finished dinner and Robbie took care of cleaning up. Chris went upstairs and started to get ready for bed but she couldn't stop thinking about Amanda. Fin's question kept playing over and over in her head: "When are you gonna stop pretending like you don't care?" The answer finally came to her. She put her clothes and shoes back on and went downstairs. She got her coat from the closet and grabbed her keys from the table and went for the door.

"Where are you going?" Jeza asked as she opened the door.

"Out". She closed the door behind her and went to her car to make the drive over to Amanda's. She thought she should call first but she forgot her phone at home. She just kept driving instead of going back to get it and hoped that Amanda would be home. She parked her car and went upstairs to Amanda's apartment. She knocked on the door and waited anxiously for her to answer. She was about to walk away when she heard the lock turn and the door open. Amanda was standing there in shorts and a tank top. Her eyes wandered over her body for a moment before coming back to meet her eyes. "Hi" she said softly.

"Hey" Amanda said back.

"I'm sorry to just drop by. I was gonna call first but I left my phone at home" she explained. Amanda just stood there not saying anything. Chris felt like an idiot. "I'll just go and come back when it's a bet…."

"No" Amanda said stopping her. "It's fine. Come in". She stepped to the side and opened the door wider for Chris to come in. She walked into the apartment and was greeted by Frannie. Amanda closed and locked the door.

"Hey, Frannie" she said kneeling down to pet her. "I missed you". Frannie seemed to have missed her too. She licked her face and wagged her tail.

"Did you come just to play with Frannie?" Amanda asked. Chris rubbed Frannie's head one more time before standing up.

"No" she said softly. She walked past her and went to sit on the couch. Chris followed. They sat awkwardly for a moment, neither of them saying anything. "How are you doing?" Chris asked breaking the silence. Amanda shrugged.

"Fine".

"Really?" she asked. She couldn't imagine that she was fine with everything that had come out over the last week. She just shrugged her shoulders again. "I'm sorry" she said abruptly. "I know I haven't really….been around these last couple months but I should've been there for you this week and I wasn't. I'm sorry" she said again. Amanda didn't say anything. She figured that wasn't all Chris had come over to say. She planned to just sit and listen. "I don't know how to do this Amanda. I know I keep saying that but it's true. I just…I don't know. I haven't counted on anyone but myself for a long time. I've always kept people at a distance because it was easier than letting them in and risking getting hurt. I did the same thing to you. I kept you at arm's length. I….I pushed you away because...I was afraid. I've always been the one to hurt feelings; to break hearts. I was afraid that you'd be the one to break mine. I don't want to be that person anymore. I don't wanna be afraid anymore. I don't want to push you away or keep you at a distance. I miss you" she said softly. "And I miss Frannie" she said with light laugh. "I love you, Amanda". It was the first time she'd said those words to anyone outside of her family. It was scary as hell but she was ready to stop pretending and face the truth. She was in love. "I just hope you'll give me another chance to prove to you that I'm….I'm not always such an asshole" she joked. Amanda laughed. She was never good at being serious for very long. Her laughter subsided and Chris sat and waited for her to say something. After a minute she still hadn't said anything. "I understand, ummm, if you need some time to think about it or…." Amanda moved forward and brought their lips together. It'd been a long time since she'd felt her lips and they still felt amazing to her.

"I love you too" she said softly. Chris breathed a sigh relief that she hadn't just said all that and made a fool of herself. She kissed her again then Frannie jumped up on the couch and started to lick Chris' face again. "Frannie loves you too" Amanda said with a laugh. Chris laughed as Frannie settled into her lap. She always did think that she was her human pillow. Chris stayed and talked to Amanda for a couple hours before heading home. They decided a sleep over right away was probably not a good idea. Amanda still had a lot to work through and Chris had her usual family issues to deal with but they were both ready to be there for each other. Christina never imagined that moving to New York would cause more problems than the ones she brought with her. It'd been a ride full of ups and down, good and bad. But it felt like she was finally turning a corner. She could feel that this was the start of something really good.