OKAYYYYY Chapter 36 has arrived

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Chapter 36

"Ha! HA!" I snort almost manically as I basically stampede into the Common Room, scattering fearful first-years away from me. "Oh, very smart, very smart, pay 'em half a fortune and they're hanging on your finger!" I cackle, stomping around in a rage. "Yes, Professor Dumbledore, I can see that!"

"He didn't say that," James protests, following me to my favourite chair as I wedge myself into it.

"He did," I scowl, taking a gulp of Coke. My parents send me a few every now and again because it's a Muggle drink, and when I'm desperate I grab one. I have a bad sweet tooth for soft drinks. "In a sophisticated way."

James gives me a look, and snatches away my Coke. "Hey!" I protest.

"That's the fourth one you've had today!" James retorts, and I sulk.

"I'm dealing with a friend's death, here, and worrying about the murderer, and a play and a moody boyfriend's best mate who is moodying over my dead best friend!" I snarl. "And I'm PMSing. It's starting soon." James blushes at the mention of it. Boys get really squeamish around that subject, eh? "I can't believe it though. Just because you're pureblood and rich doesn't mean you can give the Ministry a dragon's horde of gold and tell them to forget about the murder. Like I have said so many times, it is murder! Killing! A life lost. And they say forget it. Completely. Not even keeping an eye out. Like, zip, never happened! That's not even possible. I can't believe it." I grab my Coke back and am about to guzzle down another mouthful when James snatches it away again, tosses it into the air and with a wave of his wand makes it disappear. I pout as he leans in, placing both hands on either arm of the chair, effectively trapping me. Not that I minded that much.

"Look, Lily darling, just stop worrying, okay? I don't like it when you're worried. It scares me. And also you get all grumpy and moody and you keep fretting and frowning. Even Scarlet is beginning to get less frisky!"

"That's what happens when a kitten turns into a cat," I point out, an eyebrow arched, but he ignores it and continues.

"This cult-master guy can be that big anyway. We've never heard of him before, so can he be that great? Nooo, no, not at all. And don't tell me he convinced fifteen-year-olds to kill. You know that Slytherin girl clique is just a bunch of ignorant brats who only care about themselves. Other people, even their lives, don't matter to them, right? I'm not saying this is acceptable, but I mean, no need to overreact, sweetheart. I know it's murder, dear, but face it, it's over. There is nothing we can do about it, okay?"

I look down because it's easier to look there than anywhere else. "I'm just worried. It could happen again," I persist, arguing with the right arm of my chair.

I don't look up but I hear the sigh.

"Lily darling, look, okay, this is probably a one-go. A few killings and BAM- gone forever. Nothing to worry your pretty head about." I shoot him a look, not entirely convinced. "Hey, even if they didn't, it would be pretty hard to find this guy. We have no clues about him. Everyone who knew about them is either dead or has had her memory wiped. And don't tell me they could be lying, they were on Veritaserum. Veritaserum! You know it's very strong. They probably use a lot of it too. Professor Dumbledore takes his students very seriously, you know? We are clueless. We have, even with the help of Dementors and blah blah blah, very little chance of finding him. It's just too scant."

I hadn't told him about Bellatrix. I didn't want to at first, because even though I was very sure of it, what if I got it wrong? Also, how do I prove it? I have no hard evidence, nothing but belief, a catch of the eye and a gut feeling. Even as I ponder over this, James continues.

And think about, Lily. You aren't the worst faring off about the Slytherins' deaths. Think about their parents, love. They gave up their own daughters, as though they were vapours of mist that would disappear with the wave of a hand, as though they were wisps of dreams that never existed. For the sake of maintaining order in the Magical Realm – gosh, that sounded so retarded – they sacrificed their own daughters. They sacrificed the satisfaction of served justice for society. It must have been so hard on them. Right? Your parents would probably never do it, or mine. It probably tore them apart… It must have really hurt."

I almost snort. Yeah. They gave them up so their family names wouldn't be disgraced! They were willing to give up their-

They were in it too. The parents. Why? This cult. It was bigger than I originally thought. Even adults were involved. Important, rich, pureblood families. They were all involved. So… Were they really dead?

"Lily… Lily, are you listening there?" James' voice was punctuated by sharp snaps. I blink. Huge, bright eyes and rapidly snapping fingers nearly send me cross-eyed as he leans in close. I blink again, just managing to restrain myself from instinctively jumping and wacking my forehead against James'.

"Yeah. Okay. I hear," I mumble, wanting nothing more than to think this over. "Can I have my Coke back now, please?"

…

"Deep breath, Lily," James says, alarmed as I feel my entire face warms up and I viciously bite my lip. I obey James' instruction, though, and my simmering anger lowers a notch. The frustration is killing me! Nobody is taking this seriously! I mean, this is only our, what, first, second practice? Half of them didn't learn their scripts. The other half didn't turn up. Easy for him to say. He isn't in charge. He won't have to face the music if we all screw up.

I mean, there are so many problems right now. My actors and actresses need to learn to memorise their lines. They need to learn to arrive on time. They need to learn how to speak louder. They need to learn how to be serious. They need to learn how to be dramatic. They need to learn to convey the message. They need to learn NOT TO LAUGH AT THE DRAMATIC PARTS, for God's sake! I mean, I understand if they try to stifle a giggle at all the 'falls on her knees and weeps like a baby' parts, but they are literally rolling off the stage! And this actually COULD have happened! No kidding! Well, minus all the little demon Colette people running about, I guess. And it's much worse because she actually purposefully took out her wand and went Aveda Kedevra and – ba-boom – killed someone.

"Guys! From the top!" I yell at the chaos I dare call my 'crew and cast'. They moan and get back to the first position, and the narrator, Lauren something, complains about how someone tore her script, and then someone accidentally sets fire to the curtains and then I find one of the cast having a nap in the backroom. I am positively screaming by the end of practice.

I HATE acting. And I hate directing more.

This sucks.

I feel like giving up. But I can't. Urgh. My life sucks.

…

Breakfast finds me with dark circles around my eyes, a permanent pout set upon my lips, and a fresh-drawn curiosity on Bellatrix Black. She seems slightly stressed, and she is alone. Well, of course, her former clique are dead, or so it seems.

Her eyes catch mine. Dark, playful, malicious, angry, dangerous, evil. But that is only a moment's glimpse, for then it is craftily concealed behind curious innocence. And I must admit, when she opens her eyes innocuously sweet and wide, her dark curls combed back, her lips parted slightly, she looks like an epitome of innocent beauty. Note: Looks like one, not is.

She's been playing her innocence role well. I have a feeling that no one else has noticed what I have. I wonder what Colette would tell me if she were here.

James falls with a thump next to me. "Nervous?" I ask. It is after all the last Quidditch competition, Gryffindor against Ravenclaw. Gryffindor needs to beat Ravenclaw in this one last match in order to clinch the House-Cup, so you can see how important this is to Gryffindor, especially the people in the team like James.

"Yep," he says hollowly, glaring with stressed finality at the bacon and eggs I had created in a smiley face on his plate, determinedly picking up his fork, taking a bite and swallowing before giving up. A frown presses my brow. I don't understand why he can't just eat, for Merlin's sake, I mean, he needs his strength.

I force him – okay, more like coax and bribe – into finishing a glass of orange juice and a crumbly biscuit because he'll less likely feel sick with something like that. It's almost time for him to leave and change, so I give him a hug, burying my face in his chest and feeling little Scarlet twine around our legs, mewling sweetly for attention. I scoop her up and when I straighten up James is hugging me from behind, and I just lean back, cuddling Scarlet. I close my eyes. This year has been really quite dramatic. Finally James is dragged away by Sirius, and I sit back down, stroking Scarlet softly with one hand, the other hand grasping a goblet of pumpkin juice. I'll go down to the fields in about five minutes for the match.

And meanwhile, I observe Bellatrix, and wonder what she is hiding.