Chapter 34
Title: Love & Softball
Author: BrennaAimee
Pairing: Santana/Brittany
Rating: PG 13
Summary: Santana transfers to a new high school from one where she is a softball star. Can she prove she belongs on this new team and impress the captain in more ways than she knows.
Disclaimer: All television shows, books, movies, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work and the characters, events, and settings thereof are the properties of their respective owners. This is for entertainment purposes only, no profit is being made.
A/N: I hope yall enjoy this. I won't update tonight because its my best friend, Boo's, birthday and I'm going to act an ass. ;) Party party party. Thanks so much for all the reviews! I hope yall stick around and continue to enjoy this story.
Fair Warning from Ash, My Arizona: Tears. That. Is. All
|Brittany's P.O.V|
Santana convinced me to go back to her house with her even though all I wanted to do was sit under the slide, hold her, and not move. I held it together pretty well, even last night when I was crying myself to sleep and having nightmares, I was still better than I was in that moment. I broke down in front of Coach, but that wasn't as bad as it was at her house. I was looking at the love of my life, and I was having to imagine what it would like to not be with her. I was having to wonder what it was going to be like without her holding me, kissing me, looking at me, even just her looking at me and me looking at her. The one person in the world that I never wanted to hurt, the one person that I would never hurt was next to me crying harder than I could ever imagine anyone crying.
I knew she must feel betrayed. I didn't talk to her. I talked to coach about this and obviously coach believed me when I said I had talked to Santana about this, but I wasn't ready. I didn't have a choice but to be ready now. I looked over at her as she drove down the road and while my eyes were still watering, I saw her tears steadily streaming down her cheeks. She wasn't sobbing anymore, her body had calmed down, but the tears just wouldn't stop. I couldn't stand to see her cry. I wanted to take the pain away from her and hold it all on myself. Causing her pain was not what I wanted to be doing. I was supposed to protect the woman I love, but I didn't know how I could fix this. I did the only thing I knew I could do and that was to reach over and put my hand on her arm. She put her hand down and I held it. I rubbed circles on the back of her hand to try to soothe her like I usually did. Her breath caught, but she never pulled away. She let out a sigh and pulled my hand to her kissing the back of it gently. We sat in silence the duration of the ride.
We walked into her house and it was midday so no one was home. She walked into the kitchen and headed straight for the refrigerator. She grabbed a pepsi for herself and a bottle of water for me. She knew me so well she didn't even have to look at me to know where I was. She slid the water across the island still looking in the appliance, yet the bottle came straight to me. I watched her as she just stared. She wasn't looking in there for anything, she just didn't want to turn around, and I knew her well enough to know that. She let out a huge breath of air and her posture dropped as her head fell. She looked down at the floor and shook her head. I stood up and walked on the other side of the island to stand beside her.
"Santana" I said as I reached out for her arm. She turned and looked at me with her bloodshot eyes and I almost broke down on the spot. Even though she was a mess, she was still so beautiful to me. "Come on" I said as I pulled her by the hand. "Let's talk about this."
I drag her into her living room and sit her down on the couch. I sit on the coffee table directly in front of her. She sits down and looks at the floor. I reach over and tuck my hand under her chin and lift it until she is looking into my eyes. Watery blue meets glossy brown and we both let a tear slide down our cheeks.
"I can't do this." She states.
"Can't do what?" I ask.
"I can't lose you Brittany. You are my world, my one, my only, my all and everything, and I don't know what I would do without you."
"You would do the same thing you did before me."
"Brittany, I don't even want to think about what that was like. I really can't remember, because what we have had has over shadowed everything."
"Babe, I don't want to be without you either."
"Then don't." She states as if it were the simplest thing in the world.
"What do you mean then don't?" I ask staring at her curiously.
"Don't leave me, stay here with me. You can move in. My family loves you and I'm sure they would have no objections, besides you have the softball team, and it is our senior year."
"Santana, I can't intrude upon your family."
"You won't be, Brittany, please, for me?" She says as she grabs my hands and squeezes.
"I want to . . . I want to be here with you . . . I want to hold you close and never let you go . . . I want to be your forever."
"Then be that for me. Don't let me go. Brittany, I refuse to let you go, because if you won't stay for me, I guess we will have to work our way through a long distance relationship because I refuse to be the one that ends it. You will have to do that if you want to let us go."
"You know I don't want to let us go. I can't leave you Santana, but I don't believe in long distance relationships."
"Not even for me?"
"Please don't do me like that." I finally whisper after swallowing the lump that keeps rising in my throat.
"Brittany, please, it's just senior year, then after that we can be together. I'll move where ever you are. I'll go to the college you choose. Just be with me." She cries.
"S'Tana, I love you so much you know that right?"
"Tana? Did you just Tana me?" She jerks her hands back.
"Babe, I just . . . I don't know what to say."
"Say you love me, say you won't leave me, say . . ." That's all she has a chance to say before I'm leaning over to couch to put my lips on hers. A gentle kiss, holding every emotion I feel, is the kind of kiss I place on her lips. I hold it. I refuse to move. I want her to understand how much I love her. How much she truly means to me. I don't know how I am going to live without her. She pulls me to where I am sitting with a knee on each side of her straddling her. She pulls me tighter and deepens the kiss. I sit there kissing her for what seemed like hours, but in reality was probably a few short minutes. I hold onto her tightly. The thought of her not being in my arms is killing me.
I am who my parents raised me to be though. I am a family driven sacrificial person. I am doing this for my family. If Santana and I are meant to be, we will find our way together again. We must find our way together again. She has to be it for me, I don't know how I could feel this for anyone else. I love her entirely, with all I have in me. Yes, I know it will be ok, because no matter what, we will find our way back together.
I pull back from our kisses and trace a line down her face with my fingertip. I memorize everything about the girl in front of me. This is the face I want to wake up to everyday, starting one day. Ok, it's final, I'm coming back here for college. I can't be without her. If everything goes the way I want it to, I will be back for her.
"Babe" I start "Can I stay two nights with you? I have to pack at home, but can I come back? I want to spend as much time with you ask I can."
"You are always welcome here Brittany, that will never change. Do you want to go pack now?" She asks. I look for a hint of annoyance or anything really, but all I see is sincerity.
"Yes, I think I need to give you a moment anyways. I love you baby just remember that, always and forever." I say as I slide off her lap. I lean back down and give her another gentle kiss. She gets up and pulls me by my hips closer to her and places a kiss on my lips.
"Always and forever" She promises.
|Santana's P.O.V|
I stop my tears enough to drop her off at her car. She kisses me and gets out of mine and into her own. I wait until she starts her car and heads home before I start mine. I plug up my iPod and hit shuffle and the first song that comes on is Remember Love, our song. I try to hold my tears back, but I can't help but letting them fall. I think back to that first night we rode to the store to get her a new battery. The way we danced in the car and the way her eyes lit up as she sang all the words. I remember the feeling I got when she smiled at me, even from the first day there was something about her. I could never place it until we kissed. I now realize the pull that I felt when she first smiled at me. We are supposed to be together.
She can't leave me. It's going to be hard to do this long distance thing, but if I only get to see her every once in a while or if I have to wait until she comes back before I can see her, it will all be worth it to me, because she is worth it. She is worth any pain. I will go through anything for her because the feeling that I have when someone so much as mentions Brittany's name is proof this is real. This is it for me. I will never love anyone as much as I love her.
I get to the house and go up to my room. I refuse to cry about this anymore because I know everything will be ok. I start cleaning my room to take my mind off of things and I end up setting up candles everywhere. If tonight and tomorrow night are the last nights I'm going to spend with Brittany, I'm going to make them as special as possible.
Around 5:00 p.m. I am passed out on my bed, I was so tired physically and emotionally that I fell asleep after I finished cleaning. I wake up to my phone ringing.
'Hello' I answer groggily.
'Hey baby, I'm on my way over.' Brittany's perky voice comes through the ear piece.
'Ok baby, see you when you get here. Be careful and I love you.'
'I love you too baby.' She replies before she hangs up the phone.
I dial the number to the pizza place and ask them to deliver a cheese pizza, Brittany's favorite. I go downstairs and sit on the coach until she gets here. Brittany arrives ten minutes later and I yell for her to come in. She walks in, places her bag by the door, and comes to curl up beside me on the couch. I look down at her and I can tell she was still crying not too long ago. She looks up at me and I smile at her. She smiles back and even gives me her dimples. I kiss each one of them to make her smile even more.
"I love you Brittany."
"I love you too, Santana." She whispers.
We watch about twenty minutes of tv before the pizza guy shows up. I take the pizza up to my room and light all the candles I filled my room with. I have had her birthday present for weeks now, even though her birthday is a month away. I sit the pizza in the center of the bed with the jewelry box and stuffed animal with our picture on top of it. I lay flower petals around it and turn out the lights. It's still bright in the room because of so many candles, but it looks so pretty.
"Santana" I hear Brittany yell. "Where did you go?"
I walk back downstairs and look in the living room but she isn't in there. I walk into the kitchen and she is standing by the island looking outside. I walk up behind her and place my hands around her waist and pull her back to me. I kiss her cheek and hug her tightly from behind, the thought that I may not be able to do this for a year crept into my mind, but I suppressed it. I just have to keep telling myself that it's ok because I will still have her in my life. It will all be ok because no matter what she will be in my life. I kiss the back of her neck and send chills through her body. I love seeing her react to me. I scrape my teeth on her earlobe and she tenses up.
"Santana, you can't do that?"
"Why not?" I smirk.
"You know why not." She playfully reprimands me. I do it again. "You are going to get into trouble doing that missy." She jokes.
"Maybe trouble is what I want." I whisper seductively into her ear before I pull away and leave her standing with her mouth dropped. I walk over and get drinks for us and hand her hers as I grab her arm and pull her up the stairs. I put her in front of me and stand her in front of my door. I turn the knob on my door so it is unlatched but I don't open it. I put my hands over her eyes.
"Santana, wha . . . " Her sentence drops. As I push the door open with my foot and gently guide her into the room. I close the door with my foot and then remove my hands from her eyes.
"San . . . " She start, but never finishes. She stands there with her mouth wide open again. "You did this for me?" She asks incredulously.
"Of course I did. You act like I have never done anything nice for you." I say jokingly into her ear as I hold her from behind. She turns to kiss me and walks over to the bed. She picks up the jewelry box and opens it. Its a small heart necklace. She pulls it out of the box and just stares at it. I walk up to her and take it from her hand and put it around her neck.
"This way, in case you didn't already know, you have a constant reminder that you hold my heart. It's yours Brittany. As long as you want it, and as long as you will keep it."
Brittany doesn't look at me. She keeps her head down and I force her to look up at me. There are tears in her eyes. I wipe them away and let her get her bear. She holds it and places a kiss on its head the same way a child would and it is so adorable. She then slowly reaches down and grabs the picture. It is a picture from one of our softball trips. It is her favorite picture. My hair is up in a messy pony tail and hers is in French braided pigtails, we are both wearing hoodies, and I have a huge grin on my face. She is leaning in toward me and barely grazing my cheek with her lips. She looks down at the picture and smiles.
I can tell she wants to cry, but she is being strong. I lean in and place a gentle kiss on her lips and when I do she locks her fingers into my hair and pulls tight deepening the kiss. I hold onto the sides of her face and kiss her with all I have in me. I can tell how she is thinking about this. Everything about her kisses are saying 'the last time'. I try to put her at ease. I slow the kisses down putting more passion into each one. I lay her down on the bed and pick up the pizza box and tossing it gently onto the floor. Every move we make is slow and deliberate. We put everything we feel into each movement we make. Neither of us want to break away from each other, so we don't, we lay in bed the rest of the night and make love, sweet, gentle, passionate love, only stopping for pizza, something to drink, and bathroom breaks.
|Days Later|
Brittany's P.O.V
I'm helping dad finish up putting boxes into the moving truck and looking around at how empty our house is. I find my favorite headband still lying in the bathroom and pick it up as I walk back outside. We aren't leaving for a couple of hours so we are pretty much just sitting around and talking. I finish looking around the rest of the house and make sure I didn't leave a box or anything else. I wrap my headband around my wrist a few times and walk outside. My mom and dad are on the back porch so I walk to the front. I sit down in one of our patio chairs. I take my headband off my wrist and start playing with it. I get so lost in thoughts, of me and of Santana, that I don't realize a car has pulled up until I look up and see Santana walking toward me. She puts her keys in her pocket and her sun glasses on top of her head. The sun is beaming behind her and she looks so gorgeous. I can't believe I'm leaving this.
"What are you doing here?" I inquire.
"I came to say . . . " She lets her sentence hang.
"Say what?"
"I don't want to say it, so, see you later?" She offers.
"Ok baby, we will go with that." I let out a small laugh. I pull her arm and sit her down in my lap and snuggle her. "I'm going to miss you so much baby."
"I'm going to miss you too." She says as she kisses the top of my head.
"Santana."
"Yes babe."
"Will you do something for me?" I ask.
"Anything"
"If something happens, I want you to be happy. Promise me that if this doesn't work you will find your happiness and not let me hold you back. Don't wait around for me, if this isn't right ok?"
"Brittany that is never going to happen, this is right." She says pointing back and forth in between us.
"Baby, just promise me, please." I beg.
"Ok, I don't think that is going to happen, because I believe we can make it, but I promise you."
"Thank you." We sit like this for an hour and switch our positions a few times and just hold each other and kiss for another hour, not speaking a word, just loving the feel of being together. My parents come through the house and walk onto the porch.
"Brittany, honey, it's time . . ." My mom says not paying attention. "Oh, hey Santana." My mom says and comes over to hug her. "I'm going to miss you my sweet girl."
"I'm going to miss you too Mrs. Pierce." Santana answers and even gives my father a hug.
"It's time to go baby girl." My dad finally says and walks out toward the moving van after offering Santana one last smile. My mom hugs her again and walks out to the van with him. Santana walks me out to my car which is loaded down with stuff and hugs me tightly. We are both trying not to cry, but we can't help it. Our tears are mixing together as we kiss one final time. I get into my car and Santana holds onto me by my headband. She steps back and closes my door. I roll my window down and hand her the headband through the window.
"I love you."
"I love you too Brittany, Always . . ."
"and forever" I finish for her. My dad pulls out in the moving truck and I put my car into reverse and back out of the driveway to follow him as Santana walks to her car on the side of the road. My mom pulls out behind me as we start down the road. I look back and see Santana in my rear view mirror standing back to the car and sliding down crying. She crumples up into a ball against her car and all I want to do is go back. I don't want to leave her like this. I don't want the last memory I have of her to be broken like this, but I have to go . . .