"Shayera, what the (bleep)?"

The redhead became a little indignant. "What, Helena?"

"We brainstormed for costume ideas for weeks, and this is what you choose?" Helena waved one of her hands at Shayera's choice.

"If you haven't noticed, Brainiac, I have wings. They are a little (bleeping) hard to hide."

"I know, but you are dressed as angel for Halloween. It's…"

"It's fine," Diana interjected. "I think you look beautiful."

Helena rolled her eyes, "Of course you would say that. Now, Diana, I have to commend you on your costume."

Dinah laughed. "You would. She dressed as you for the party."

"Not quite," Diana smiled. "I had to let the costume out at bit at the chest. Really, Helena, consider implants."

Helena's eyes went wide as everyone laughed. "Did you just call me flat chested?"

Diana chuckled, "Flat? No."

Helena scowled playfully, "Sorry that not all of us could slap on a blonde wig and pass as Dolly (bleeping) Parton."

Diana stood stymied, "Who?"

This caused the group to laugh once more. The Amazon stuck her tongue out in defiance.

"Well, my costume decision aside," Shayera started, "who the (bleep) are you supposed to be Helena?"

Helena looked down at her outfit. "It's obvious, Shayera. I picked another Helena to be this year."

"And which one would that be?"

"Helena Wells. H.G. Wells from Warehouse 13. She's smoking (bleeping) hot."

Diana nodded in agreement, a wide grin encompassing her face. Shayera looked at her girlfriend. "You don't know who Dolly Parton is, but you know who Helena is dressed as? What are you watching on t.v.?"

Diana's face dropped, "Helena made me watch it."

Helena laughed, "How whipped are you?"

Diana gritted, "Shut it Helena."

But when Shayera turned her back to the Amazon, Diana gave a quick thumbs up to Helena, who laughed uproariously. Turning around quickly again, Shayera laughed as Diana dropped her hands to her sides. The redhead cooed, "It's okay if you think someone else is hot."

Diana's face lit up, "Really?"

"(Bleep) no!" Shayera laughed harder and turned back to her other friends.

Helena giggled, as Diana reached out shyly and took one of Shayera's hands and kissed the back of it. Turning her attention to Dinah, Helena asked, "And who are you supposed to be? You are hardly wearing anything at all, and it's all…glittery."

Dinah smiled, "Kym Johnson."

"Who?" Shayera asked.

Diana started squirming. Shayera turned to the Amazon. "Spill it. Who is Kym Johnson?"

Diana quickly blurted, "Only the finest woman on Dancing with the Stars."

Dinah laughed as Shayera's eyes went wide again. "No more watching television with these two. They'll have you watching illicit (bleep) in no time."

Helena mumbled, "Too late."

"WHAT?" Shayera howled.

Helena chuckled, "Nothing Shayera. We would never expose Diana to trashy television. Promise." She moved one of her hands behind her back and crossed her fingers.

"It was only once. And when I saw the naked woman…" Diana started.

Shayera's jaw dropped.

Dinah face palmed her forehead. "Diana, you weren't supposed to tell."

Diana squirmed even more, "I told you she would find out!"

"Because you just told her!"

Shayera pressed her lips together tightly, "What exactly having you been watching?"

Diana looked between Helena and Dinah. Helena mumbled once more, "Go ahead and tell her, but you are now officially disinvited."

Diana stood silent for a moment, and then blurted, "Baywatch reruns, Spartacus, and we are on season 3 of Xena. By the way, Amazons don't act like that."

"Really? That's what you came away with?" Dinah laughed.

Diana insisted, "They don't (bleep) it. And why Xena hasn't ripped off Gabrielle's clothes, I still don't understand. I about choke on the innuendo."

Shayera laughed, addressing Helena and Dinah, "I am going to choke you two. Stop exposing her to that trash."

Helena shrugged, "It's culturally relevant. Now Diana knows what implants actually are, thanks to Pamela Anderson. And she can now see how Amazons are portrayed, so she is more aware of the stereotypes that people believe about them thanks to Xena."

Dinah laughed, "You are so full of (bleep). You watch Xena because you have a crush on Lucy Lawless, which is also the reason you watch Spartacus."

Diana started, "Don't forget that Jaime Murray is also on Spartacus. Those two being involved is…"

Shayera faced the Amazon and arched her eyebrow. "Is what?"

Diana stuttered, "I-I don't know. I stopped watching. I didn't think you would appreciate me watching two women…"

Helena giggled once more. "(Bleeping). They were (bleeping). You should watch Shayera. It's hot."

"I don't think I would appreciate watching two women who look like you and Diana (bleeping)." Despite the seriousness with which she delivered the statement, Shayera found the whole thing comical.

"I told you!" Diana squealed pointing at Helena.

Helena softened her tone, "Shayera, the moment boobies were on the screen, your Amazon walked out of the room. She said you wouldn't appreciate her watching other women doing the dirty, and she left."

Shayera softened and sighed turning to Diana, "Really, sweetheart? You did that for me?"

Diana looked at Helena incredulously. Helena silently mouthed the words, "Go with it."

Shaking her head in agreement furiously, Diana looked at Shayera.

The redhead melted. "Aww, babe. I love you for doing that. It's okay. Maybe we can watch it together now."

Shayera leaned into Diana's personal space, and whispered, "I might be dressed as an angel right now, but I promise you will see my devilish side later." She quickly pecked the Amazon's lips and walked away. Diana stood grinning ear to ear, waiting for Shayera to get around the corner. Quickly she addressed Helena, and in all earnest asked, "You weren't serious about being disinvited were you?"

"(Bleep) no!" Helena howled. "The newest season of the Cathouse starts tomorrow. I'll save you a seat."

Diana giggled with excitement and then took off flying after Shayera.

Helena sighed, "What is she doing? I can't fly. That girl can't stay in character worth a (bleep)."

Dinah smiled, "What do you say we skip the party, and see what we have on DVR?"

Helena nodded furiously. "Definitely. I have to figure out something first though."

Dinah cocked her head, "What babe?"

"How the (bleep) is that outfit not falling on the ground right now?" A naughty grin instantly encompassing her face, she added, "And will you be dancing around the room to show me who Kym Johnson is?"

Grabbing Helena's hand, Dinah drug her down the hall to their room. Shoving her down on the bed, Helena was heard squealing, "They do the horizontal mambo on Dancing with the Stars? I really gotta start watching ABC again!"

A/N: It's been a while, I know. Hope you like it. For "Call Me Ray".