Bonnie Sveen Fan, it really was naughty of Jacob! Stealing is still stealing and it's not as though Connie doesn't have a use for them. No, I don't think Cal will ever learn! Thank you for your review. I hope you enjoy the last couple of chapters.
Tanith Panic, thank you for your review. I'm really glad you liked the twist. I might it would be interesting if one of the suspects was caught stealing something else after being ruled out, with Cal and Ethan getting completely the wrong end of the stick. I imagine Connie having a bit of a saucy side! Maybe it's from reading your stories.
CBloom2, thank you for your review. It was a bit random, but I needed something that fulfilled various criteria - the theft needed to make Connie angry enough to confront Jacob the moment she saw him, but it couldn't be anything too valuable and it had to embarrass Ethan in some way. Because we all like seeing Ethan blush!
InfinityAndOne, I love Lily too. Sometimes she takes things too seriously, but I find her seriousness very endearing. I agree - Cal is definitely great! Just as great as Ethan and Lily. Perhaps even greater as he has so much more to distract him. Only Connie could carry off her predicament without embarrassment! Thank you for your review.
X-Sammii-X, Connie did kind of give Cal permission to ask to see the evidence, but it's possible she'll take various opportunities to embarrass him in the future! It would be funny if that happened on Casualty. The actors are so good at comedy. I'm glad Lily blushing is cute! Thank you for your review.
Lily had a satisfied smile on her face as they returned to the ED. "That seems as close to conclusive as it's possible to get. I have a more than adequate supply of tramadol and we can be reasonably sure there is no tramadol hidden in Louise's flat."
"I still think you might have let me check Louise's underwear drawer," said Cal.
"I doubt you would have performed the task with sufficient focus."
"But what if you and Louise are in this together?" said Cal. "You might have sewed the tablets to your bra, smuggled them out of the flat and then hidden them with Louise's underwear."
"You don't know very much about sewing, do you?" said Lily.
"Of course I don't!" said Cal. "Ethan does all my sewing."
Lily looked disapproving. "You shouldn't be his servant, Ethan."
Ethan shrugged. "I don't mind. It's better than listening him spend six hours swearing over a five-minute job and then having to treat all his needle wounds and then wash the garment because it's covered in his blood, unpick all Cal's completely inadequate sewing and then redo it all. It's less trouble to do it myself in the first place."
Lily looked thoughtful. "Perhaps so."
"But…" Ethan's eyes dropped. "I won't always be able to do fiddly things with a needle, Cal."
"I'll learn," said Cal, putting his arm around Ethan and giving him a quick hug. "Don't worry. If I can suture a wound, I should be able to suture a shirt button."
"That's exactly what I've been telling you for the past two years!" said Ethan, but his voice was soft and he was smiling at his brother.
They found Big Mac hiding in an office. He looked tired and stressed, though he made a point of trying to smile when Cal, Ethan and Lily entered.
"To what do I owe the pleasure?" he said, standing up and offering Lily his seat.
Lily just about managed not to glare at him. She remained standing.
"We'd really like to speak to you, Mac," said Ethan. "Please sit down. I can see you're tired. The thing is… well…"
A look of fear came into Mac's eyes, though he tried to hide it.
Ethan sat beside Mac. "I know you've had a really difficult time lately. Being on the scene but being unable to help when Noel was attacked – that must have been horrific. I'm really not sure how I'd have coped if I'd seen that happen to Cal. I honestly can't imagine anything more terrifying and some of us just aren't built for fighting."
Big Mac said nothing, but he hadn't tried to do a runner. Cal gave Ethan an encouraging smile.
"And then you hurt your back," said Ethan. "Pain is one of the most difficult things to deal with. You were worried about Noel; feeling guilty for something that wasn't your fault; and you were trying to recover from an injury. I think anyone would struggle to cope in that situation."
Big Mac lifted his head slightly. "Are you trying to say something to me?"
"Yes, I am," said Ethan. "I'm saying people find all sorts of ways of helping them to cope. There's one coping method that's particularly common for someone in your situation and if it's happened to you, Mac, it's not your fault."
"I just didn't know what to do!" burst out Big Mac. "I was in pain and Zoe said I couldn't have any more, then that relative was waving her box of tramadol all over the hospital…"
Ethan put his hand gently on Mac's arm. "It's okay. You shouldn't have stolen the tramadol and I'm not saying there won't be repercussions, but addiction is an illness, Mac. Illness can play with your mind and make you do things you wouldn't usually consider. I don't really want to talk about myself, but I'm ill too and it's been making me do all sorts of peculiar things. I've been drinking heavily and getting my female patients into cupboards."
Big Mac turned to stare at Ethan. "You in cupboards with female patients?"
"Yes," said Ethan with an embarrassed smile. "Isn't that right, Cal?"
"Totally right," said Cal. "I know because he phoned and asked me what to do!"
Ethan went a bit red, but he nodded earnestly. "My illness made me do something very unprofessional - and so did yours. We can't change what we've done, Mac, but we can change what we do next time."
"I don't want to do it again," said Big Mac. "I went to Narcotics Anonymous. I'm trying to get over this."
Ethan looked genuinely impressed. "That's great, Mac. It really is. I'm supposed to be going to a support group soon and I'm scared to death. But I know you can beat this addiction and if there's ever anything I can do, all you need to do is let me know. I'll do anything I can."
"But I don't know if I can do it!" said Big Mac, his face crumpling.
Ethan put his arm around Mac. "Of course. It's so hard giving up something that's been so important to you. But I believe you can do it. It might take time. There will be ups and downs. But I'm sure you can do this, Mac, and you're not doing it alone."
"I'm here for you too," said Cal, feeling he ought to contribute something.
Lily nodded. "And me. I know I'm not the most sympathetic person, but I know what it's like when a distressing event alters your behaviour."
"But… there is one thing," said Cal.
Big Mac tensed up. His eyes strayed to the door. "I'm not telling anyone. I can't! I'll lose my job."
Ethan looked into Big Mac's eyes. "It is a possibility. I can't lie. But can you do your job as you are now? You must be so tired; so stressed; so afraid. I'm not trying to push you into anything, Mac, but I would like to ask you a question. Are you sure you want to live with these feelings forever? If you do lose your job, that doesn't mean you won't find another. I'm sure there are many people who would be willing to say what a good worker you are; how kind you are to the patients; how you've assisted with many emergency situations both in the hospital and outside it."
Big Mac said nothing.
"If you continue to live with these feelings, it will affect your job," continued Ethan. "It's affecting your job right now. You should be working, but you can't because you feel so bad. That's understandable. I've had times when I've struggled to work; there have definitely been times when I've needed to hide myself away because I just can't keep going. But that's not always enough. Some things stay with you, no matter how many moments you take to gather your strength. Sometimes the only way out is to face it and I know that might seem impossible. But at least it gives you a chance of coming out the other side."
"But I can't!" said Big Mac. "I can't tell anyone. But Charlie could lose his job… I don't want that."
"I know you don't," said Ethan sympathetically. "Charlie is an incredible nurse and an incredible human being."
"He doesn't deserve this."
"No, he doesn't," agreed Cal, a bit more sharply than he'd intended. "He's been like a dad to me. And he's pretty much sacrificed his whole career; his reputation for you. Don't you think you owe him the -"
"Caleb!" said Ethan. "I know Charlie is important to you – he's important to me too – but this isn't helping. And I'm sure you're saying nothing Mac hasn't said to himself a hundred times."
Big Mac looked at him helplessly. "I don't want to do this. Charlie's the best nurse I've ever worked with. And one of the best friends I've ever had. But I… I can't."
"I'd probably feel the same in your position, but you're stronger than you think you are," said Ethan. "You've managed to talk to us and I think you've talked to Charlie as well?"
Big Mac nodded. "And Noel."
"You might find everyone else is a lot more understanding than you're expecting," said Ethan; "There might be a disciplinary procedure, but there will also be help and support. You'll have me, Cal, Lily, Noel and Charlie on your side. I'm sure there will be others. We're all here for you, Mac."
"They forgave me for bullying Alicia," said Lily. "Mrs Beauchamp has forgiven Rita for telling the police she murdered someone. Rita has forgiven Mrs Beauchamp for blaming her for the fact Grace ran away from the hospital on the day a convicted paedophile was admitted. Lofty was forgiven – or perhaps 'understood' is a better term – when his actions caused the death of a temporary staff member. The ED is a forgiving, understanding workplace. I believe you will be forgiven and understood too."
Cal nodded. "Not forgetting that I stole my brother's inheritance and gave it to a con artist I was besotted with." He looked over at Ethan, almost overwhelmed with an emotion he was determined not to label in public. "And Ethan forgave me. He helped me. He was there for me. If you've got Ethan on your side, you've got a hell of a chance of getting through this."
Ethan looked startled, then he smiled, his eyes slightly misty.
Cal decided not to comment on it. Now or ever. "So, what do you think, Mac?" he asked, knowing Ethan might need a moment to compose himself. "I know you might need a bit of time. I know I would. But what are you thinking?"
"You'd really be there for me?" asked Big Mac.
"Of course we will," said Ethan. "I promise."
Big Mac said nothing for a moment. He stared down at the floor. Cal couldn't read his expression.
Then he stood up. "I'm going to tell Rita. Then I'll tell Mrs Beauchamp." He spoke with an authoritativeness Cal had rarely, if ever, seen from him. "Maybe I can't get through this. I don't know. But I'm going to try."