Title: The ARK Angels of DX in the Wrestling World War
Author: Kaykyaka
Disclaimer: I do not own any of the WWE and TNA characters used within this fictional story. No copyright infringement is intended and no money is being made by this work of fiction.
Ratings: T
Characters: Shawn, Cameron and Cheyenne Michaels, Amy 'Lita' Dumas Michaels, Hunter Hurst Helmsley, LC Helmsley, Aurora Rose Helmsley, Chyna, Trish and Randy Orton, Melina and Johnny Hennigan, Jeff Jarrett, Vince McMahon, Stephanie McMahon, The Rock, The McCools, various WWE and TNA wrestlers.
Summary: On Monday October 29 2007 Vince McMahon declared war on DX by joining forces with Jeff Jarrett and TNA to launch a wrestling world war but the ARK Angels of DX want their daddies to focus on what's really at stake. NOTE: This story is written in reverse.
Chapter Thirty Four - Shockwave
Friday November 30, Universal Studios, Orlando, FL at 8pm:
MVP and Edge strutted over to the other side of the sidewalk in Downtown Orlando from Universal Studios dressed to the nines ready to take their TNA Knockout girlfriends out for a night on the town. A few of the WWE and TNA wrestlers were hanging out in Downtown Orlando tonight and Gail Kim, The Beautiful People, Raisha Saed and Awesome Kong decided to join them. The Divas were shocked when Awesome Kong walked into the Latin Salsa bar called Lingo what they didn't know was that besides being a force in the ring Awesome Kong could drink anyone one of her TNA buddies under the table, including both members of Beer Money who now owed Kong a lot of money for all the bets they lost to her in drinking competitions across America.
Maryse couldn't help herself, she needed a drinking buddy because all the WWE Divas were lightweights and Victoria didn't drink at all. The French Canadian strutted over to the Amazon Knockout and flicked her hair over her shoulder catching Kong right in the eye and Raisha Saed went ballistic.
"Who is this person?" she asked The Beautiful People and Velvet and Angelina were officially out of character and spoke freely among the WWE wrestlers that had gathered around a private booth at the back of the club.
"This is the woman who will soon be carrying our bags from the airport to the hotels if we ever left TNA for WWE," Angelina Love said and Maryse laughed flicking her hair in Angelina Love's face much to Edge's amusement.
"Hey baby," he said to Angelina handing her his flowers and kissing her on the cheek, "you're looking Beautiful as always,"
Maryse rolled her eyes and flicked her hair in Edge's face before pushing past Angelina Love and resuming her conversation with Awesome Kong, "Hello Mrs. TNA Champion, my name is Maryse I'm the current WWE Divas Champion nice to meet you,"
Awesome Kong looked at Maryse's outstretched manicured hand like it had ticks all over it then she grabbed it, snapped it backwards and executed a very painful wrist lock on the WWE Divas Champion much to the pleasure of the Knockouts and Divas alike, "Ooh oui!" Maryse cried out in pain, "I surrender, I surrender - release me let me go!"
"Spoken like a true Kermit," Edge said as Awesome Kong broke her hold and Maryse tried to get the feeling back in her wrist.
"Kong said "Its very nice to meet you," Raisha Saed said before taking Kong and sitting on the other side of the club with LAX who were much cooler and way less annoying to talk to.
"Great Maryse you just scared off Kong, I wanted to talk to her!" Victoria complained and Maryse started knocking back the Mojito cocktails like there was no tomorrow.
"I need more of this one I don't know what its called in English but in Montreal its called Sex on the Beach," Maryse said to the waiter.
"Its called a Mojito and I think you've had enough of both," the Spanish waiter replied said and Maryse responded by kicking the tray of empty glasses and beer bottles up in the waiter's face and laughing hysterically to herself.
"Maryse!" MVP yelled as Gail Kim and the Beautiful People helped the waiter get cleaned up and the WWE wrestlers apologized profusely to him for Maryse's behavior, "You are so lucky DX weren't here to see that,"
"Yeah, don't be surprised if they take that Divas Championship off you and put it on someone who knows how to carry themselves in public," Edge said and Maryse rolled her eyes and pushed her way through her annoying work colleagues and over to the bar and demanded Sex on the Beach, upon which all the single men in the club looked her way and started hooting and hollering at the gorgeous blond with the penchant for tossing her hair and Divas around depending on her mood.
"And that's our competition? No wonder TNA's kicking your asses in the ratings," Velvet Sky said to CM Punk and the IC Champ couldn't agree more, Maryse was a disgrace to the WWE and his RAW colleagues thought so too.
"We seriously need to get behind Kelly Kelly you guys, that includes you Victoria and Natalya. She's exactly what our company needs; a clean, honest hard working Diva who only wants to compete. We don't need some narcissistic drunk who looks down on everyone who isn't a key player in the industry or dying to sleep with her," CM Punk said but Natalya and Victoria hated Kelly Kelly and as much as they disapproved of Maryse's flawed social skills they loved her and wanted her to be the Divas Champion of the WWE.
"Kelly Kelly's only being pushed because she's a freaking plastic, at least Maryse isn't afraid to be herself besides she makes the locker room more interesting," Victoria said.
"Yeah all Kelly Kelly does is smile, what the F is there to smile about anyway? The WWE is losing money hand over fist every single day, giving people a desire to take better care of their teeth isn't going to change that," Natalya argued.
The WWE wrestlers disagreed strongly over the direction of the Women's division and they continued to argue their differing points until MVP played peacemaker instead of playmaker for once and he abruptly shushed everyone before speaking.
"What we need is controversy and Edge and I may have found exactly what DX need to pull us out of this rutt," MVP said and everyone looked at him and the Rated R Superstar wondering what they had found over at Universal Studios.
"We went to pick up Gail, Angelina and Velvet from Universal Orlando and guess who we saw kissing Mickie James by his hotrod in the parking lot?" Edge said and the WWE wrestlers leaned forward wanting to know the answer.
"None other than former WWE baller John Cena," MVP replied and everyone gasped in shock except the Beautiful People who had first hand encounters with the fornicating duo every single day in Orlando.
"Cena's cheating on Maria with Mickie James?" Victoria said in shock.
"That's awful poor Maria!" Natalya said appalled.
"How could Cena do that to his pregnant girlfriend?" Kofi Kingston asked shaking his head and CM Punk sighed; this news was not news to him he knew what kind of man John Cena was and he didn't expect anything else from him.
"How do you think we feel, this guy is the new TNA Champion at least Sting had integrity. Ever since Vince McMahon took over morale has gone way down, all the Knockouts are pissed that Beth Phoenix and Mickie James are getting all the attention and ODB has totally turned her back on us. We maybe beating your ass in the ratings but mark our words as the Beauty Queens of the Ring, TNA sucks!" Velvet Sky said and Angelina Love and Gail Kim agreed. Edge, CM Punk and MVP comforted them with hugs and kisses causing the other wrestlers to stick their fingers down their throats, except Victoria who currently had Samoa Joe's tongue down her throat.
"It's a shame you guys can't come work for us, the Women's Division really needs some fresh talent," Rey Mysterio said and the Beautiful People laughed.
"Yeah right like that's ever gonna happen, Vince has probably got UBA and ODB tailing us right now," Gail Kim said before turning back to the Beautiful People, "We've got a corporate ass-kicking to look forward to next week you guys,"
"Sigh," the Beautiful People said at the same-time and MVP and Edge exchanged worried glances, they didn't want to be the cause of anymore beat-downs on their girlfriends.
"Maybe we shouldn't come to Orlando anymore, its not fair to you guys," MVP said and CM Punk got an idea.
"Why don't ya'll come to Philly instead? If the Main Event Mafia dare tread on my home turf I'll just sic the ECW fans on them," he said and the wrestlers laughed.
"As cool as it would be to see the Main Event Mafia get mauled by rabid ECW die hards Philly is too far away, we need to stay local so we can show up on time for tapings and signings," Angelina Love said.
"Otherwise we could be fined and I have plans for the New Year I need my money," Gail Kim said.
"Well why don't we stay in Florida but spread out so one day we go to Carlito's crib in Boca Raton and the next day we go to my crib in Miami and the day after that we go to Edge's crib in Tampa?" MVP said.
"That'll work - only I don't want any of you in my house. I'm sure Christian wouldn't mind if we use his though, he lives right next door to me," Edge said and everyone shot the Rated R Superstar a dark look.
"Why can't we go to your house, afraid we'll find the source of all your power in a plastic bag under your bed and rat you out to the Feds?" CM Punk said and everyone laughed.
"No asshole, my house is my sanctuary and you guys are not worthy," Edge replied and Angelina Love rolled her eyes.
"Its where we get down and dirty, no visitors allowed so you can put away that camcorder Cryme Tyme!" Angelina Love said to the mischievous duo who were always looking for an opportunity to catch some Rated R material on camera to give to DX.
"You two should have come with us to Universal Studios and caught John Cena kissing it up with Mickie James, I'm sure DX would have loved to see that video footage," MVP said and Cryme Tyme nodded regretfully.
"Looks like we missed the scoop of the year," Shad said to JTG.
"Why would anyone cheat on Maria? She's so hot she gives Eve Torres brain freeze!" JTG said and Shad answered with a very simple statement.
"Once a player, always a player," he said and the other wrestlers nodded before looking over at the bar top where Maryse was doing a solo rendition of the Pussycat Dolls' infamously catchy "Don't Cha?" and it was good, a little too good nobody could take their eyes off her and Awesome Kong resented her stealing the spotlight. So the most dominating TNA Knockout grabbed Maryse by her platinum blond Rapunzel-like hair, scooped her up and slammed her down with an Awesome Bomb in the middle of the club.
"Encore, encore!" The Beautiful People yelled while Natalya and Victoria went to check on their Champion who was knocked out cold.
Victoria looked up into the steel eyes of the most dominant female in the business and trembled, which was uncharacteristic of the former WWE Women's Champion.
"That's the difference between the TNA Knockouts and the WWE Divas; the Divas talk a lot of trash and the Knockouts take out the trash. Now get her out of here before Kong really loses her temper!" Gail Kim said to Victoria who grimaced at the former WWE wrestler before taking Maryse out of Lingo amidst a crowd of highly entertained club hoppers.
"That was the best action I've seen all night," one of the guys said to his friend.
"Yeah I gotta catch a wrestling show before I leave town," his friend replied.
"Survivor Series isn't here this week is it?" his friend asked.
"No its in Houston," his friend replied and the guy shrugged.
"I guess we'll have to catch another TNA show then, they're the best in the business right now anyway," he said and LAX nodded at the two men who had been buying Homicide and Hernandez beers all night much to the chagrin of Beer Money.
"We need to change our location, those guys should be buying us beer not those two Latino losers, after all we're the TNA World Tag Team Champions!" Robert Roode said.
"The last thing you two need is another beer," Samoa Joe said to Beer Money who were leaning on Jacqueline for support as he headed out of Lingo to find Victoria and make sure Maryse was alright. When the Diva Champion vomited all over the former TNA World Champion's shoes and flicked her hair back and laughed at him like it was nothing Victoria begged her boyfriend not to kill her girlfriend, "Tell your girlfriend she's lucky I'm not in character or she's be mopping up this vomit with her hair right now," Joe said to Victoria while Beer Money applauded Maryse and offered to buy her some more Mojitos as a token of their respect for the greatest heel the current WWE Women's Division had ever seen who like them refused to check into Alcoholics Anonymous and get the help they all so badly needed. To Maryse it wasn't her attitude that needed to be adjusted, the WWE fans just needed to be exposed to the future of Women's wrestling up close and personal.
"Was that a nipple?" Jaqueline said and Beer Money laughed as Victoria tried to prevent Maryse from having another waldrobe malfunction in public.
"Did you catch that Jay?" Shad said excitedly.
"I sure did - YO-YO-YO-YO-YO! I got Maryse's left boob on video camera who wants to see it?" JTG shouted at all the fans while Victoria pulled Samoa Joe's hoodie over the drunken Divas Champion. The video footage made it online and soon the whole world knew about the night Maryse introduced the world to her most valuable asset.
Meanwhile at DX Inc . .
"Shawn I think you might wanna come take a look at this!" Hunter said from his desk in DX's main office and HBK came over with his nose in some Chinese take out.
"What?" Shawn asked leaning over Hunter's shoulder where the Cerebral Assman had his lap-top open on YouTube and Shawn saw Maryse's nipple staring back at him.
"GAH!" Shawn cried and his Righteous Indignation was instantly activated and he made Hunter's lap-top explode into a thousand sharp fiery pieces.
"You know what this means don't you?" Hunter said jumping back from his desk while Shawn tried to erase the pornographic image from his mind.
"Yeah, we need a new Divas Champion," Shawn said furiously.
"I had a whole other answer but I can see from your expression that putting Maryse on the cover of next year's Wrestlemania edition of Playboy is not want you wanna hear right now is it?" Hunter said and Shawn's hair flared up in red hot lashes above his head and his eyes burned a hole through Hunter's mind.
"No Hunter its not, I don't want Maryse on the cover of anything," Shawn replied gnashing his teeth.
"So who do we make the new Divas Champion?" Hunter asked, "Nobody's hotter than Maryse now Shawn,"
"I don't care how hot she is she's . . . I'm going home to my family while you sit here and fantasize about Maryse," Shawn said and he stormed out of the office and literally bolted through the closed mahogany door like it wasn't even there.
"Shawn wait up!" Hunter said running behind his best friend who had left an unbearable heat behind him as he descended to the ground floor of DX lnc. It wasn't just the fact that Maryse had exposed herself in public that was eating Shawn and Hunter knew it; what he didn't want to do was open up a whole can of worms without Amy and Joanie around for re-enforcement. It wasn't Maryse's exposed nipple that had aggravated Shawn to the boiling point, it was the fact that she was drunk and disorderly and getting praised for it just like Rebecca was before she went too far and lost everything including her life and it all started in Orlando, FL where the first TNA vs WWE war took place. Hunter didn't want to mention that right now in the back of the DX Machine where he could barely breathe without sticking his head through the window, he wanted to get home first with all of his skin and limbs in tact before the cerebral interrogation began and he forced his best friend to face his fears one more time.