*A lot of arguing, picks up right after Bella and Chris caught Mara drinking demon blood.

-xxxxx-

There might have been a time, when I would give myself away,

Once upon a time, I didn't give a damn,

But now here we are,

Whataya want from me?

-xxxxx-

Mara POV

Present Day

Half an hour later i couldn't have been more lost in the blood induced haze. I was still drinking when the door opened and none other then Bella and Chris walked in. The light went on and Adrian and i both froze when they did. Bella looked from me to Adrian to the blood on my lips and then to the dripping cut on his arm. Slowly, total fury ignited in her eyes, acid in her voice and her demeanor became so lethal that i couldn't stop the shiver that ran through me. This was new. "What the fuck?!"

I was frozen in spot, staring at Bella as if she were the second coming, and not a good one.

As soon as, "uh-oh," fell from my lips everyone remembered they could move. Adrian stood up quickly, Bella and Chris lifting guns at him. "Leave," Adrian said just as furiously. Oh this was just going to blow up in my fucking face.

"Mara, get off the bed," Chris said urgently, both of them not really sure what to make of the situation.

I frowned, Adrian smiled slightly, knowing full well I would be way too jello legged to go anywhere. Bella let off several shots, not a single one even causing Adrian to budge. "Mara get off the fucking bed, now!" Bella shouted, and then threw her arms up and Adrian went flying across the room and through a wall. I cringed as the dust and debris fell around me, but damn, she was hot when she was angry.

She moved forward, disappearing around a corner and I rolled onto my side and sat up shakily, hearing the sounds of a fight and not being able to see anything. There was a crash and then a huge blast of fire came flying from the door and the hole in the wall and I cringed a second time. Some cursing went on, and then more sounds of a struggle, I heard something wooden break, all the while Chris and I just stared at each other awkwardly, neither of us wanting to get in the way of my sweet little Bella's wrath. She'd kicked my ass a couple times when she was angry enough, well, back in the day she had.

When she finally came back into the room she turned to me, and I flinched, seeing the fury in her eyes. "He's dead, and if you don't get your ass up and moving, you will be too," she said harshly. Bossy much?

I staggered up, not nearly as graceful as I usually was, wiping off my face and both of them moved forward. Bella got to me first and I didn't even see her raise her fist before pain shot through my right cheek bone and I was stumbling backwards. Of course she'd hit me now, she doesn't have the advantage, not at all.

She grabbed the front of my shirt and hit me a second time, sending both of us tumbling to the ground in a heap. At the third hit, I swore at her. Any punch I threw would be quite pathetic and embarrassing. When the fourth hit came, I went on autopilot, letting my sub-conscious give orders, besides, I had all the extra go-juice in the world. Blue fire exploded from me in a burst and she jumped backwards, glaring at me, her shirt burned in several spot. I flinched a little, I hadn't meant to use so much power.

She was towering over me, I would've gotten up, but the world was starting to a bit off kilter. "What the fuck is wrong with you Mara? Are you so screwed up in the head that you would actually stoop so low?" obviously, or we wouldn't be here right now.

I rolled my eyes, rubbing at my face with the back of my sleeve, it came back bloody and I doubted it if was the demon blood. My face hurt. A lot. Though I can't say I didn't deserve it and more. When I looked back up to meet her still very angry gaze I remained quiet.

"Answer me! You know, the Winchesters warned me you were messing around with stuff you shouldn't be, that you needed fucking help, I never would've guessed you'd be stupid enough to get hooked on demon blood."

I smirked. "Then I guess you don't know me nearly as well as you think you do," I taunted, full on grinning at her now. She lunged for me a second time, letting off a furious growl and Chris intercepted her and kept a hold of her.

"We need to get out of here before more demons show up," he said urgently, shooting me a look to keep my mouth shut, I pursed my lips. Bella shoved him off of him and stormed out of the house, swearing heatedly in about five different languages.

That was pretty hot too. I wonder if angry sex was in my near future. I sure hoped so.

"Your an idiot, you know that?" Chris muttered to me while he helped me back up.

"Yeah? You know, I keep hearing that," I said sarcastically. He kept hold of me when I nearly face planted into the floor.

"Bella's going to kick your ass, you know that too, right?"

"Oh really? That's not what just happened? What do you call her beating the shit out of me not two minutes ago?" I shot back irritably. "A lovers quarrel?" I asked, snorting slightly.

"Yeah, when it comes to you two sociopath's. Well it was part one anyways," he said shaking his head sadly, "you know we'll need to tell the others."

"Tattle-tale."

"This isn't fucking funny Mara! Sam was addicted to demon blood, they had to lock him up in a panic room for days, he hallucinated, the demon blood was killing him from the inside out. Is that what you want? Because we can head on over to Bobby's right now."

I frowned, "Who the hell is Bobby?" Did I know a Bobby?

He cursed in Spanish. "You know, you'll be lucky if my brothers-," I flinched, having forgotten that they didn't consider me family anymore. It cut deep. "-don't kill you when they find out."

"Tell them whatever the fuck you want. There are more demons where he came from." He didn't have a response for that one, I think I'd disappointed him more then anything. I got a headache.

I zoned out the rest of the way to the house and then the door was opening and Bella was pulling me out of the car roughly. I wasn't sure what was being said as I got to the house, but I nearly fell over once I'd swung the door open. This was embarrassing. I was like a drunk sorority girl. And not a hot one.

"Oh shit," Danielle said looking from Bella to me.

"Marcus is going to be pissed," Hunter agreed shaking his head at Bella.

"You knew about this?" she said, eyes flashing dangerously.

"Of course we knew," Hunter said snorting.

Bella hit him too.

Then Danielle.

I simply moved into the living room and collapsed onto the couch in a stoned heap. Bella continued to go ape shit on them and I watched the show. If they couldn't hold their own against her, pissed off or not, then they should at least learn to take a beating. In our world, gotta be able to take 'em or give 'em. Guess which category I fell under?

"What's going on?" Adam asked coming around the corner, Brandon and the two blonde Cullen's following behind him.

Bella ignored them, appearing in front of me faster then I could see at this point. She'd grasped the front of my shirt and lifted me up to slam me into a wall before I could even realize she was touching me. I tried to pull out of her grip, but I was simply too weak, and too slow to dodge the hit she sent my way. My head bounced back into the wall and she gripped my throat, leaning forward, eyes ablaze.

"Your fucking selfish, Mara, you know that? We wanted to help you, to save you because we loved you and you do absolutely nothing to make the situation any easier on us. In fact, you make it worse. Why do you have to darken everything about yourself? Isn't it bad enough were hell-bound? That were societies versions of demons?"

I couldn't respond, I didn't think she wanted me to, as she had tightened her grip on my throat, cutting off my oxygen. Panic registered before reason and fire burst from me. She released me, pushing herself away and cursing. She rushed me again, before she could get within touching distance, Brandon intercepted her, holding her back.

Adam stepped between us, I stayed on the ground, breathing heavily, "what the hell is wrong with you two now?"

"Mara's addicted to demon blood," Bella said, glaring at me as everyone turned to stare. I winked at her.

No one said anything for a tense moment. Chris spoke first, "we don't have time for this, were already late. The wolves are meeting with us in a clearing a few kilometers out."

Shit. My grin fell. I didn't think I could run right now. It was Bella's turn to smirk now, "and no one's helping you get there either."

"I'll just stay here and-," she cut me off.

"Your not leaving my sight and I'm going, that means you are too."

Fuck.

-xxxxx-

It's plain to see, that baby you're beautiful,

And there's nothing wrong with you,

It's me, I'm a freak, but thanks for lovin' me,

Cause you're doing it perfectly

-xxxxx-

I collapsed on the cold, wet ground practically hyper ventilating. "Holy," I panted, "why was that so," I sucked in a sharp breath and let it out, heart racing, "long?"

Bella rolled her eyes at me, "we were only running for five minutes."

"No freaking," I panted again, "way."

I turned over onto my stomach, surveying the area. It was raining a bit, the forest seemed darker with the lack of moonlight, but I could still make out the shapes everyone at the back of the clearing. Or I suppose, everything was more accurate considering all I saw were giant steroid induced wolves.

"You sound like a dying rat, do you need to go to the hospital or something?" Danielle asked.

I flipped her off, and made my way towards everyone. Though it was more like they were facing off; all the Cullen's, my brothers and the three of us against the wolves. I counted twelve of them. Another person appeared from behind the furry wall of doom. I didn't recognize him.

He nodded in greeting to Carlisle, and then turned to Bella, "hello Bella," he didn't sound like this was a nice surprise.

Bella crossed her arms and said nothing, though I saw her eyes flicker to a russet colored wolf a few times. I narrowed my eyes at her, looking from one to the other suspiciously. "They're murderers Carlisle, why are they in Forks?"

So much for a welcome back party. Edward spoke, "there's a hierarchy in the vampire world. The kings, the ones who enforce our laws are on their way to Forks, if they aren't here already."

"Why?" he asked, voice sharp.

Bella answered him this time, "to kill me. I had it out with the red headed vampire that was killing people around a year ago. She wants revenge, her mate hunted me and Edward killed him."

I scowled a little. I would've killed him for her if I'd known that. "That doesn't explain why the Kings are coming," he pointed out.

"Because I killed one of them," I said smiling a little. I stood up, finally able to keep steady. "Him and the red-headed teamed up because of me. He nearly killed her at a celebration and I intervened. Got a little upset."

"Upset?" Alice said, rounding on me, "you call that getting 'a little upset'? You killed Aro, he was their leader. You almost got all of us killed and you burned down their castle, and-," I cut her off.

"Who has castles anymore? You vampires are a bunch of greedy sons of bitches, aren't ya? You amass a fortune over the years and you go to high school over and over again, why not find a cure for cancer or something? Something worth living for."

"Like your not greedy?" she shot back. "You have dozens of houses and just as expensive cars and you think an entire coven of vampires living in one castle is greedy?"

"Is that a rhetorical question?"

"Enough, your acting like children," Bella said, giving me a look.

"What are you looking at me for? She started it!" God, I sounded like a five year old, I must still be high.

"Oh, grow up, Mara," she said, turning to me fully.

"I can't, I died, remember?"

"Then keep your mouth shut, before I make you."

"Cut it out, both of you," Adam snapped. We turned to glare at him. He actually backed up a step, though I wasn't sure it was in surprise or fear. Both maybe? I could see that. Both Bella and I angry at each other, a full scale riot might break out because of us.

I turned back to Bella, my annoyance flaring up a little. "You want to know why your so pissed off with me? It's not because I found a new hobby, not because I have new friends, it's because I didn't take you with me. That's it, isn't it? You always said you never cared where we were as long as we were together. But I died, and I left you behind, now your looking for any excuse you can to be angry with me!" Wow that sounded bad, even to me.

"But you didn't stay dead, did you? You left without even so much as a goodbye, twice now you've done that. Then I see you again and you put me in a coma! We were supposed to do this together, after we lost Tyler, we should've fought harder to remain a family and at the first sign of trouble, you jump ship and abandon us all! You betrayed us!"

"I loved you! And i didn't have a goddamn choice, did i?" I shouted furiously, eyes lighting up with black and white flames. We were face to face now, practically touching, darkness boiling over in both of us, wanting to take over. We forgot about our audience completely. This argument's been a long time coming.

"Then where were you for the last three years?" she shouted back, "huh? Where were you? Where were you when I needed you? When you love someone you protect them and fight for their happiness more then your own. When you love someone, you keep them safe because they're your world, your life-line. You don't leave them and turn into the enemy! So tell me, Mara, if you loved me so damn much, where were you?"

"Watching over you!" She paused, not expecting my answer, "yeah, that's right. I was watching over you, checking up on you. You and the Winchesters were arrested shortly after I died. Who the hell do you think got you out? It sure as hell wasn't the Three Stooges over there, they didn't even know you were in jail! And after Marcus's kill order, who do you think got you help? Did you think it was a God given miracle? Or perhaps you thought your fairy god mother brought you back from the brink of death. Just because you didn't see me, didn't mean I wasn't there and I proved I still cared in Volterra."

I shoved her now, and not lightly. She staggered backwards, mostly in surprise, a growl rippled through the air, but I wasn't sure who it was. I turned, right as the russet wolf launched himself at me. I jumped out of the way and then kicked him hard in the side. Before anyone else could attack me a wall of black, barely seeable flames erupted around the two of us in a circle. Anything that went through that line would be incinerated almost instantly. I vaguely heard Adam warning them not to touch it.

"Who's the wolf, Bella?" my voice was ice. She narrowed her eyes on me, and that was all I needed to confirm my suspicions. "You went and slept with this guy too? Are you fucking kidding me right now? We go underground, you get engaged to a vampire in my absence and you get with a shape shifter? Your such a hypocrite! Here you are preaching to me the rules of love when you were the one that cheated!"

She pulled herself up off of the ground, "what did you expect of me, Mara? You created me. You created all of us. You were supposed to guide us, I looked up to you and you left me with no instructions other then to stay out of trouble."

"You weren't a child Bella, we ran an empire together, an army, dont act like you had no idea what to do. Don't play stupid, you knew damn well that screwing other people wouldn't be okay or you wouldn't feel guilty about it."

She turned to the rest of the clearing, our audience watching us closely, the look on my brother's faces telling me they felt guilty and hurt. She looked back at me, voice quiet, "I went home. I didn't bury myself in and alias and work at some little bar in Miami, I didn't go to college to study medicine, I went home. And our faces were everywhere. The world wanted us dead, they called us terrorists, we were our nations worst enemies. I needed some form of back-up plan considering I had no one to watch my back. You forced me into this position.

"When I found out they were vampires, I thought, hey, these guys might be able to protect me, especially since one could read minds and another could see the future. They're not as easy to kill as humans, they're faster, stronger and their senses are better. Yes, I got engaged to Edward, he was the fastest and he was a mind-reader, the one with the most advantages, and he was the only one without a mate. It was a logical decision at the time. Secondly, Jacob was my best friend when I lived here. He made me laugh and smile and for a few moments, I could delude myself into thinking you and everything that happened in L.A. were just figments of an overly active imagination," she sighed, adding, "and for the record, I didn't sleep with either of them. You know me better then that."

Neither of us said a word, contemplating, just staring at each other for what felt like ages. Thinking about our past exhausted me. "We were innocent and human once," I said thoughtfully. "We were Kings. We were nothing and everything. We were each other's Achilles' heel. We needed to be free from the cage we created, a cage made for monsters. I gave you the world, I gave you everything I had."

"And then you ripped it out from under me, and you took everything I had before, with you."

A horrible thought went through my mind. "You wanted to forget me?" it was a whisper, a small smile playing at the corners of my lips, it probably looked pained.

She froze. My eyes went down, eyebrows furrowing, the ground was singed at my feet, when had that happened? "You wished I wasn't real, didn't you?" my voice hardened as my gaze clashed with hers again, "you really do wish you hadn't met me, don't you?"

She had that look on her face, a deer in headlights, a child being caught stealing cookies, caught in a lie. Or a horrible truth. The fire came down, as if it had never been there. I backed up several paces, shaking my head. "Yes, I know I've fucked up a lot in the past, but I've never once wished for something so cruel."

"Mara, I didn't mean-," I cut her off harshly.

"Of course you fucking meant it. What did you say a few months ago in L.A., Bella? That you had a life back here? That you moved on? Albeit, I had no idea you wished you had fucking amnesia."

"You sent us away, Mara! Remember that? That we weren't supposed to meet up again! Who wants to remember being abandoned by someone they think of as their entire world? How would you feel in my place?"

I clenched my fists, "oh, now you wanna talk about feelings? Five minutes ago you told me to shut my mouth. One minute your gay, the next your straight. You wanna kill me then you want to save me. You want to watch the world burn then save it. You love me, you hate me. I'm the best thing to ever happen to you one second, your wishing you hadn't met me the next. I'm sick of your games. Make up your goddamn fucking mind! Did you ever even love me?"

Apparently that was the wrong thing to ask. In the blink of an eye she'd become infuriated. She launched herself at me, we hit the ground and wrestled for the upper hand. She kneed me in the gut, I punched her in the face. She managed to get on top of me and swung at me, I turned my head to the side and pushed backwards as her fist came down onto the ground.

I kicked her off of me and as we moved to go at it again, Brandon and Chris were restraining me while Edward and Carlisle were holding her back. When I finally calmed down enough, I shoved them away from me, shooting one last look at Bella, shaking my head, I walked away.

-xxxxx-

Just don't give up, I'm workin' it out,

Please don't give in, I won't let you down,

It messed me up, need a second to breathe,

Just keep coming around,

Whataya want from me?

-xxxxx-

-Four Months Ago-

-Mara POV-

(Bella's been in a coma for three weeks)

I stood in the doorway of Bella's private hospital room, unable to move forward. None of the lights were on, but the monitors all hooked up to her were illuminating the area around her bed. She was so still, I couldn't see her breathing. Little cuts lined her face and arms, which was also covered in purple and yellow bruises. I was sure the worst of the injuries was concealed by the hospital gown. My heart broke. It got hard to breathe.

My eyes scanned the room again, paranoid that my brothers would appear out of nowhere, putting a bullet through my skull before I could even blink. They didn't. I stayed in place, the annoying medical equipment beeping steadily.

I wasn't sure how long I stood there. Could've been seconds, minutes, hours. I wasn't sure. I went towards her cautiously, seating myself in the uncomfortable chair next to her bed. Leaning forward, I rested my elbows on my knees, memorizing every bruise and scratch on her.

"I almost killed you," I sounded hollow, void of emotion, broken. I sounded weak.

My eyebrows furrowed, and I turned my attention downwards, fists clenched tight enough to leave bloody crescents in my palms. "I almost killed you," I was stuck in repeat.

Looking back up, my eyes watered, becoming glassy and un-focused. "I did this to you."

Letting out a strangled shaky breath, tears slipped down, and I blinked. What had I done? "I killed you."

I rubbed at my face, running a hand through my hair. I'd nearly killed Bella. Bella, the one person who hadn't given up on me. How do I know this? I know her, I know how she operates. It was in her eyes, the ones I'd looked into as she plummeted to what should've been instant death. I couldn't get the look of betrayal she'd had in her eyes, out of my mind.

Bile rose in my throat, the self-loathing and disgust making my gut churn. I stood back up, taking another hesitant step forward. Leaning over her, I pressed a soft kiss on her forehead, "I love you angel."

I left without looking back.

-xxxxx-

The gun felt different in my hands. Heavier somehow. Or perhaps it was my perception. The gun was going to be my end afterall. I clicked the safety off, flinching a little, it was louder then it was as well.

When my hands began to tremble, I tightened my grip on the handle and looked down at the main street. I was on top of some kind of fourteen story apartment building, had been for what felt like forever.

I chuckled, I never would've thought that suicide would be my death. I was pathetic. I could reason with myself. Bella would be safer with me dead, so would a lot of other people. Afterall, I'm a ticking time bomb waiting to go off. I was a puppet. Marcus, my own biological brother, had turned me into a soldier, not a leader. I hated him for it.

I used to love my life, when Bella was in it anyways. Is that where my happiness was? Did she take it with her every time she left? If she didn't pull through, would she take my soul with her? Bella is my world, my cause for fighting harder, and yet, I'd almost had her ripped away from me and I was the one pulling the trigger.

I wanted to die. I raised the gun and pressed it to the bottom of my chin as I lifted my gaze to the stars. They were bright, glowing, humming, they were beautiful. Not the worst view to have before you die.

I pulled the trigger.

-xxxxx-

There might have been a time when I would let you slip away,

I wouldn't even try but I think, you could save my life