Summary of Events: Hannah, Itachi, Hidan, Konan, and Kakuzu are searching for the Ikustaka who have taken Dessie captive. The group has already killed two Ikustaka members: Durman and JoJoJoJoJoJoJoJo (I forget how many Jos there are).

Chapter Thirty-Six: A Paper Bridge

Hannah

Thank Warg/Jashin/God for Konan – the only one of us who actually bothered to question an Ikustaka member about the whereabouts of their base. It turns out that the Ikustaka's hideout was located in a cove on the coast of eastern Seanova. So, when all things were said and done, Konan rented us a ship and, with Kakuzu behind the wheel, we took to the seas.

"Thank Jashin the Akatsuki is not a pirate organization," groaned Hidan as he leaned over the ship's railing.

"Just make sure you don't puke on deck," I said. "Because you're cleaning it up."

Hidan's didn't reply as he retched over the side of the ship. When he resurfaced, his face was tinged with green.

I shrugged and walked across the ships deck. Itachi stood on the other side, his elbows resting on the railing and his eyes gazing over the sea. At least he didn't look like he was about to regurgitate his stomach.

"What's up?" I asked, leaning against the rail beside him.

"How much longer do you think it'll be?"

"I don't know. I'm afraid to ask Kakuzu or he might chew my head off. The only reason he's steering the ship is because Konan promised to pay him."

"Hn."

Silence fell between us.

"You think we'll get Dessie back?"

"Probably."

"Do you miss her?"

"Hn."

I raised one eyebrow in his direction skeptically. "So you are worried?"

"Hn."

"Not replying properly is even more suspicious, you know."

"Hn."

I sighed and decided to abandon Itachi to his internal musings. Instead, I ventured to the front deck of the ship, where Konan had hold of the wheel and Kakuzu used his wondrous tentacles to control the rest of the ship.

"Having fun?" I asked Kakuzu.

"Just think of the money," he muttered under his breath.

"He secretly enjoys it," said Konan.

"Of course he does," I said, shrugging.

"Think whatever you like. We're here," announced Kakuzu, dully. His tentacles did something funny and the ship came to a halt, drifting on top of the salty sea water.

Konan released the steering wheel and stepped across the deck. Her eyes were fixated on the cliffs before us. Like a jagged knife edge, the rocks jutted out over the sea, slicing splashing waves to shreds. The cliffs towered over us, their shadows swallowing the ship (named the Dead Maiden) whole.

"I don't see the cove," said Konan skeptically.

"It's hidden," said Kakuzu. "Obviously."

"Sorry," snapped Konan. "It's not like I make a hobby of hiding large objects."

"You're an S-ranked criminal," said Kakuzu. "The art might do you some good."

The three of us stared at the cliffs for a moment, while Itachi and Hidan joined our little group (though Hidan still looked a suspicious shade of green).

"Where's the damn cove?" asked Hidan.

"Hidden."

"So then how are we going to find it?"

Kakuzu considered this for a second. However, Konan responded in a heartbeat. "We're not. You are."

"Me?" asked Hidan, before darting to the railing and gagging repulsively. He hug limply over the railing and groaned like a dying animal. "I'll do whatever gets me off this fucking ship."

"You're immortal," explained Konan. "You can swim underwater and find a way into the cove without being seen by the Ikustaka,"

"Just because I'm immortal doesn't mean I don't have to breathe," said Hidan wearily.

"Yeah," said Konan. "But you can drown and still live."

Hidan groaned again.

"How does he find a hidden cove?" I asked.

"If I knew that, it wouldn't be hidden," said Konan wearily. "Hidan can find it… probably."

Hidan threw up one more time and, after a second's consideration, he stood upright, stripped off his shirt, and dove head first into the turmoil ocean. We all leaned over the railing to see if we could spot Hidan, but he was so far below the surface that not even a shadow was present.

"I hope he does wash up on the cliff," said Konan.

"That would make a bloody mess," agreed Kakuzu. "Don't get your hopes up though, he won't die."

"I hope he doesn't die," said Konan. "Otherwise Dessie would be alone for the rest of her life!"

Kakuzu snorted. "I'm sure she could find some new Hottie to latch on to."

Konan looked devastated at the thought.

"Or we could just say they're soul mates meant to be together for eternity," I said dryly. "I don't think it matters in the end."

"Why?" asked Kakuzu. "What happens in the end?"

"They lose their tempers and kill each other."

Hidan showed up about an hour later, fully recharged and dripping buckets'-worth of water on the deck. He grinned triumphantly and announced that he'd found a side passage through the cliffs that led to the cove where the Ikustaka's ship lay anchored.

Excitedly, Konan had Kakuzu lower the rowboat and we all filed in. Hidan and Kakuzu were in charge of rowing (because Konan insisted girls shouldn't have to row when big strong men were around and because Itachi is just far too cool to row). Complaining and grumbling all the way Hidan and Kakuzu (who was not being paid for his services) took us across the water in the direction of the deadly cliffs.

As we approached, a small opening came into view. At the bottom of the cliffs, where the water met rocks, what seemed like a crack had formed, opening up to be large enough to fit a full grown man. Using his ever handy tentacles, Kakuzu held the boat away from the cliffs and we all clamored out of the rickety boat and into the crevice. After tying up the boat semi-securely, we set off on our adventure through the cracks (sounds ominous).

"This is kind of creepy," I said after my right shoulder brushed the slimy wall. "You think there're dead things down here."

"Maybe the Ikustaka stows the corpses of their victims in here," said Hidan thoughtfully.

"Would they be skeletons?" I asked. "Or just decaying."

"Decaying," said Kakuzu. "The Ikustaka members aren't much older than you."

"How old is Hannah?" asked Hidan suddenly. "And the others?"

"I'm twenty still," I said. "Kate's twenty-one. And Dessie would be twenty-one except she's immortal."

"She'll be twenty for all eternity," said Hidan cheerfully,

"Two years younger than you for all eternity," added Konan dreamily.

"Elder superiority," said Hidan. I couldn't see his face through the darkness, but I was certain he was grinning demonically right now.

"Now if only Dessie actually listened to her elders," said Konan forlornly.

"Hn."

The conversation had only just come to a halt when we stepped out of the tunnel through the cliff and into the dim sunlight of a cove. The tunnel came out a few feet over the water level, with smoother cliffs walling the cove in. There were what appeared to be stairs carved into the cliffs on the other side of the cove and a white-sand beach below. The cove almost looked like an isolated paradise, except for the pirate ship planted in the middle.

"The Ikustaka," breathed Konan.

"So Dessie's somewhere in there," said Itachi.

"If they haven't decided to kill her already," I added.

Kakuzu sighed. "You're not supposed to be so cheerful about your friend's death."

"Is it a problem?"

"No. Just an observation."

"How did they get in here?" Konan wondered aloud.

"Probably some secret entrance," said Kakuzu with a shrug. "To do with the tide."

"How are we going to get onto the ship?" asked Itachi.

"Hell if I know," snapped Hidan irritably.

Konan smiled and stepped forward. With the merest tremor of her hand, millions of paper shards sprung out of nowhere and, as if given a life of its own, the paper began to connect itself. Round and round they swirled, joining, pasting, forming. Until, at last, the true image was revealed.

A bridge.

A bridge made of paper extended across the water from the entrance of the tunnel to the deck of the ship.

"Well, If our arrival was a secret," I muttered.

Konan smiled. "But it looks pretty."

"And it's fucking easier," said Hidan. "At least now you don't have to go through the drowned rat experience."

"Like you?" I asked.

"I was a zombie drown rat."

"Even better."

Konan stepped onto the paper bridge first. Her steps were easy and trusting – complete confidence in her architecture. I was less certain. I edged out across the paper road, careful, in case the entire structure should collapse beneath me. Kakuzu tried to appear completely at calm, through there was a slight hesitation in his steps that might not have been noticed if I hadn't known him so well. Hidan strolled across the bridge without fear (what does an immortal have to fear?). And Itachi… well, he was Itachi and nothing scares him.

We arrived on the ship without interruption. Despite the obvious "Hello, We're Here" display of Konan's bridge, none of the Ikustaka seemed to have noticed us yet. Perhaps they felt so secure in their secret cove that they didn't bother to keep a lookout.

"Over confident," said Kakuzu irritably.

"Leader would be murderous if we ever slacked off this much," agreed Konan.

Hidan shuddered. "Fucking Leader gives me fucking nightmares with his fucking threats."

"Could you possibly say fucking anymore times in one sentence?" I asked, rolling my eyes to the high heavens.

"Fuck yes."

"Fucker," muttered Kakuzu. "Can we get on with finding Dessie?"

"Kakuzu," I said, with mock surprise. "I didn't know you cared."

"She might give me a reward fee."

I laughed. "This is Dessie we're talking about. Money means as much to her as a pile of shit. The only time she'll ever give you money is if you have a hot car in exchange."

"I don't get it," said Kakuzu, wandering across the deck of the ship with the rest of us close behind. "So much money, but she gives it all away."

"Beauty is all that matters in this world," said Konan rolling her eyes. "Beauty and divine punishment – as Dessie says."

"Moron," muttered Kakuzu. "Money makes the world go around."

"Correction," I said. "Blackmail makes the world go round – and then you can use it to extort money from people."

"You're all idiots," said Hidan. "Jashin makes the world go round."

Konan sighed. "The eternal argument of the Akatsuki: how does the world spin?"

"Gravity," supplied Itachi.

"But that's such a boring answer," I complained. "You have to make up something villainous and crazy – like killing off one's own annoying family makes the world go round. Or 'my eyes make the world go round'."

Itachi stared.

"Don't worry about it," said Konan, patting my shoulder. "To Itachi creativity is a sin."

"Yay…"

"Who's there!"

Our heads snapped up to see a shadowed figure standing atop the wheel of the ship. I couldn't see his face clearly since it was covered by the shadows of the cove, but he seemed strong and imposing – definitely a member of the Ikustaka.

"You shit!" shouted Hidan. "You fucker! Give my damn Dessie back or you will know the wrath of Jashin!"

"Dessie?" asked the shadow man. "Did you just call her your girl?"

"Fuck off!"

"Sorry, man, but Dessie is my girl."

The shadow man leapt off the wheel and landed lightly in front of us. For the first time I could see his face clearly – he was blind. Or, more accurately, he had bandages wrapped around his eyes to prevent him from seeing. He was dressed like a monk with a sheer hair cut and thin brown robes.

"Who are you?" asked Kakuzu bluntly.

"Aram," he said cheerfully. "Dessie's lover."

"I thought that was Durman," I said.

"I stole her away," said Aram. "It's not like she was ever interested in Durman."

"Good point," I said. "So what does she see in you?"

"My good looks, charisma, and my skills in bed."

I nodded. "Fair enough. And what do you see in her?"

A wry smile spread across Aram's face. "Everything."

I grinned. "I like you. Alright, you can date Dessie."

"What!" cried Hidan. "You bitch! Don't give this asshole permission to date Dessie! That bitch will eat him alive! "

"Then isn't it a good thing if she dates him," said Kakuzu.

Hidan bit his tongue, regretting his words. "Can't we just sacrifice the asshole to Jashin and solve the problem?"

"I don't see why not," said Konan.

"Hn."

Hidan drew his scythe and pointed it directly at Aram. "Prepare to die, shithead. Jashin will feast on your bones and suck out the marrow."

"Charming," said Aram.

Hidan swung his scythe –

Clang!

The sound of scythe hitting sword echoed through the cove. Hidan blinked, surprised to find himself face to face with a woman dressed in a kimono. Her eyes flashed as Aram stood behind her, looking impatient.

"Yuriko," complained Aram. "I was going to fight him."

"I've got him," said Yuriko, pushing Hidan's scythe away with her katana. Then she caught sight of Hidan. Froze. Blinked once, and then recovered.

"Yeah," said Aram. "But I was going to fight him for the love of Dessie."

"Don't use your playboy antics to torment the enemy," said Yuriko wearily.

"But it works so well."

"Playboy antics?" growled Hidan. "You mean you're cheating on Dessie?" He glanced at Yuriko. "With this ugly wench?"

"Did you just call me ugly?" Yuriko's eyes narrowed. "Don't be a shit, Hidan."

Hidan blinked. "Bitch – how do you know my name?"

"Don't treat me like a moron, Hidan," snapped Yuriko. "I know a betrayal when I see one."

"What the hell?"

"Hidan…" said Konan slowly, her voice reaching all new levels of deadly. "Are you two-timing Dessie?"

"Jashin damn!" screamed Hidan. "I've never seen this ugly bitch before in my life!"

"When did your mouth get so foul, Hidan?" asked Yuriko. "Or was the kind you just an act?"

"What the hell are you talking about?" repeated Hidan. "If you don't tell me right now, I will cut your head off!"

I raised my eyebrow in Yuriko's direction. It couldn't be… I glanced at Kakuzu and saw the same thoughts running through his mind. And, of course, Itachi had figured it out already. Konan opened her mouth to say something, but I caught her eye and shook my head. Let Hidan figure it out for himself. It's more entertaining this way.

"What's going on?" asked Aram.

"Hidan's betraying us."

"What?" gasped Aram. "As if Hidan could ever betray you."

"I can't betray the ugly bitch," said Hidan. "Because I don't know who the fuck she is."

"Is that supposed to be Hidan?" asked Aram.

"Yes."

"It's not."

"It is. I'd recognize his face anywhere – even if his speaking changed."

Aram sighed. "Yuriko. Let's go."

"What?"

"Let's go. Hidan will meet us later."

"I will not!" shouted Hidan. "Unless it's an opportunity to cut your heads off, I'm not coming with you anywhere!"

Yuriko seemed reluctant, but, after a moment, she reached some sort of resolve. With two steps she grabbed Hidan by the collar and pulled his lips onto hers. Pulling away, she said softly, "I hope you'll rethink your actions, love."

Then she and Aram leapt off the ship and disappeared into the ocean waters.

"They didn't put up much of a fight," said Kakuzu, rather disappointed.

"What the hell was that?" asked Hidan. "That bitch was crazy! She kissed me! The whore! The whore! I'll fucking kill her! And that playboy asshole dick too! I'll fucking kill them!"

I smirked. "Well that was interesting."

"Should we tell him now?" asked Konan.

"Nah. He'll find out soon enough."

A/N: I want to make a bet with you. Here's the bet: My school year finished the first week of June. I will finish this book (all 83 chapters) by then IF AND ONLY IF YOU ALL REVIEW EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER FROM HERE ON OUT. I mean sufficient number of reviews. I swear, I will finish fifty chapters in two months (you all know I can), but you need to help me too. You see, it takes a lot of support from you to do all this writing and want help. So, review, give me support, and I will turn out chapters like no tomorrow. So, can you do it?

P.S. I'm thinking of making a third book in the series just so it feels more complete to me.

Also, review or you'll get kissed by Yuriko (that ugly Hidan-stealing bitch)