Homecoming
I didn't know what to think, I was totally confused, lost… I could imagine everything, but not this. I could never imagine that everything was planned by... my brother. I didn't know if I was mad at him or not, in one second I wanted to punch him, and in the other I was trying to see his side… he was a jerk trying to separate David and me, but at least he regretted and tried to fix it, unfortunately it got even worst…
And Dave... It hurt to think about him, I had been so unfair... I thought he didn't value me enough and at the same time he was thinking the same thing about me… He was the one who suffered the most, he was arrested and he didn't even know why… I couldn't take that image out of my mind, David in jail, hurt… and he was innocent… When I've been there, not even for a second I considered he could be innocent, I didn't give him a chance to explain at that moment and also when he traveled thousands of miles to to tell me… and why didn't he tell me when he came to Brazil? One possibility came immediately to my mind: to protect Matt. I couldn't believe David would do that...
Matt asked me if I could forgive him... I had no idea, I needed some time, I wanted to go back home to talk to David… The shooting was ending in 5 days and I'd be able to go back. Lara was making the arrangements to go back too, she had finished her course and managed to book the same flight. Matt was also coming back with us. I was acting normally with him, but I didn't know if I had forgiven him… He didn't mention David, didn't ask anything about him and I was thankful. It hurt more than never to think about him, I didn't know how I was gonna look at him… I tried not to think about this until getting back to the US…
It was like someone was teasing me. On the plane, a girl on the seat next to mine was reading a magazine about David. I tried to sleep, but I couldn't. I didn't wanna get there, I didn't wanna meet David, but of course, the flight was surprisingly short. When I got there, I rested a little bit and picked up the courage. I took a deep breath and went to his place. Andrew told me he was not there. I went back home and I just couldn't wait. I called his cell, it rang for a while before he answer.
"Say it, Anne."
My heart was heavy when I heard his cold voice.
"Hi, Dave... I called because I wanted to talk to you… can you come over?"
"Oh, so you're back from Brazil?"
"Yeah... today... can you come?"
"Okay, I'll stop by before I go home."
I was about to say something, I don't know what, a good-bye, but he had already hung up. I couldn't focus on anything for the entire afternoon until I hear the door bell, finally... When I opened the door, he didn't look me in the eyes, his head was low...
"Why did you call me here, Anne? To throw more accusations at me of being a bad influence to little Matty? Or to give me brochures of rehabs?"
I hold the tears.
"Dave... Matt went there to talk to me, he told me everything that had hapenned, that it was his fault and Kim's too… that you didn't even know why you were being arrested, It was not your fault…"
I couldn't read his expression.
"I'm glad he did, it was the least he could do... I hope you believed him, at least."
"Why are you using this tone, David?"
"Don't be ironic, Anne! You treated me as if I was a drug dealer, with no chance to defend myself! I thought, for all those years of friendship, that I could count on you, but I was wrong…"
I didn't know what to think, my heart was heavy again, I wanted to run away and hide in my room… I took a deep breath.
"You didn't even give me a chance to beileve in you, David. What did you want me to think? You show up with drugs, out of nowhere, and doesn't give a reasonable explanation! You went all the way to Brazil after me and didn't say anything, I wanna know from you, why?"
"Why? Did you gave me a chance to explain what happened? You threw in my face that I was a bad influence to your brother! Holy Matt, he didn't do anything wront, poor guy! I lost the courage because I knew you'd be mad at him, and despite of everything, he is your brother, I didn't want that… I thought it was better if he told you when he had the chance and if he wanted to, beucase then you wouldn't acuse me of making things up, he'd be the one to tell you everything… At least now you believe it? Or do you think Matt made all this up to cover up for me?"
I couldn't look into his eyes. When I spoke, my voice was a whisper...
"Of course I believe you..."
"That's good to hear. I'm afraid it's a bit too late, though."
I stared at him.
"What do you mean, David?"
"You didn't believe me. I can't let this go. I was a mess in this cell, dirty, my body was hurt, I could barely stand up… and I felt as if you were stepping on my stomach, you looked at me as if I was an outlaw, you didn't even bother asking if I was guilty or not… I can't let it go that easily… I'm sorry Anne, but I need to take a break… from you."
I couldn't hold my tears. I couldn't say anything.
He got his back pack, opened it, put in on the floor, got the Friends collection out of it and threw on the table.
"I had bought this for you. I always knew you loved it, I thought you'd like to have it, I was going to give you this in Sao Paulo. But I didn't have the chance… do whatever you want with this."
He got his back pack, but it was opened and some stuff fell off. He took them angrily, put the bag on his back and left. I was petrified, staring at the Dvds, the tears rolling down. I imagined he would be mad at me, but not that much...
I couldn't sleep at night, I woke up a lot of times and by instinct, seached for something I knew it wasn't there… next day, I was out all day, I went to the mall with Lara, I didn't wanna talk to Matt, I didn't wanna see David… I got home in the evening, there was nobody home, only a note from Matt saying he had gone out with Andrew... I lay down on the couch and took me a while to realize there was a crumpled paper on the floor. I got it and smoothed it out. It was beautiful... it looks like... a poem? No... it was his handwritting... and coming from him, it could only be one thing...