XXXVI.
"I said I was sorry."
It was time for the difficult part.
Lore glanced at Crusher and could instantly see that she knew. She had read through everything on the pad he gave her, and he was glad for it. That meant there would be no need to explain what came next.
"We can't…um…?" Nurse Ogawa was at a loss for words.
"No." Lore said smoothly. "Any anesthesia would interfere. It has to be this way." He returned his attention to Seven's face. In the dozens of times he had performed this procedure successfully, he had never blinked an eye at this moment. Excruciating pain was not something that had concerned him, for at that time he could not be bothered with pathetic human concepts like empathy. Even now, he could not imagine pain of any intensity, but he could at least acknowledge that it was unpleasant and that he would not be pleased to be its subject. That was enough, and so he did truly regret was he was about to do to Seven of Nine.
"Thirty seconds, roughly." Lore said, wishing for the hundredth time the damn audience above would disappear. They were about to get a show now, that was for certain. The final stage of the procedure was to allow the new neural connection to synch up and begin direct communication, without the managing influence of the cortical node. In order for this to take place, the subject—subject. Lore shuddered—needed to be conscious. Not only would she need to be conscious, but none of her systems could be bogged down or have their responses delayed by anesthetics. The thread-like wires would carry sudden bursts of energy, much more powerful than anything they would do for the rest of their lifetimes. To Seven it would, he imagined, feel like being burned from the inside out.
Lore reached for the hypospray that Crusher had been able to apply to Seven's neck. She hesitated, but handed it over. He glanced down the table once more to make certain that the restraining straps were all in place, then pressed the hypospray to Seven's neck.
Her eyes flickered first, opening in a short groggy stage. It was fast, though, and within seconds her face contorted in a visage of agony. Then the screams came.
"No! Argh! Stop!" Her words were little more than guttural cries, barely recognizable as language. She pulled viciously against her restraints, her mind too far gone to realize that she could not flee from the pain. Lore tried to imagine. For what absurd reason, he did not know, but he did try to imagine! What would it be like to awaken in a strange room, surrounded by people, restrained to a table? Lore did know that feeling, but his ability to empathize ended there. He had not been in pain when he awoke in Bruce Maddox's office. He had not even been afraid.
"Stop! Stop!" Seven had more of her wits about her now, and was looking frantically from person to person, as if she could not understand why they were doing this to her. Lore stood back from the table a few feet, waiting for the second to tick by and for the systems to hurry up and make their connections. Twenty seconds left. For her, it might as well have been twenty hours, twenty days.
There was a shuffle in the rooms above, and Lore looked up in time to see a young female scientist rush for the exit, her hand pressed over her mouth.
In a quick decision, Lore came forward and leaned over the head of the table. He pressed his hand down on Seven's forehead, stilling her slightly, and spoke very close to her ear.
"The pain will pass in seventeen seconds. Do you understand?"
"Stop!" She cried, tears beginning to run down her face. This had nothing to do with weakness of will, but was an expression of pure animalistic pain. She continued to thrash.
"Fifteen seconds, Seven." Lore whispered. His voice was too low for anyone to hear, and he knew that Crusher was staring at him. Seemingly unthinking, he continued, "You can do this. The Borg are accustomed to pain. Just breathe, Seven. Long, even breaths. Fourteen seconds. Thirteen, twelve, eleven, ten…." He continued to count and was astonished when her jaw set and her limbs stilled. She clenched her eyes shut and appeared to be nodding in time to his countdown. It was working, and Lore could not help but smile. Luckily, Crusher could not see his face.
The thirty seconds passed, and just there after every muscle in Seven's body relaxed. She slowly opened her eyes and darted them around. When she met Crusher, she tried to sit up.
"No, no." Crusher instructed quickly, "Don't get up yet. Owen, the straps."
Owen and Nurse Ogawa began quickly unfastening the straps around Seven's legs and chest. Lore pulled back from the table and looked at the biometric readouts on the nearby screen. They were stable, across the board.
Crusher leaned over Seven, "Do you know where you are? What's happened?"
Seven tried to sit up again, and this time Crusher assisted her. Seven brought her hand immediately to her forehead and ran her fingers over the smooth skin above her right eye, "You…you removed my cortical node. How? I…I shouldn't be able to function."
Lore stepped away before Crusher could look at him. He went to the bank of sonic filters that hung over a long, shallow sink. He held his hands under them and watched as Seven's blood was dissolved cleanly from his hands. He had not bothered to wear gloves. He half listened as Crusher gave Seven the shortened version of all that had happened. He could hear shuffling in the room above. The spectators were leaving, and so was he.
He headed for the door and the sickbay beyond. He had a sneaking suspicion that some of the more medically inclined people who had come to witness the surgery would be interested in speaking to Crusher, and so he hoped to escape the room before any of them appeared.
"Lore? Wait." Crusher said suddenly. She was still wearing her surgeon's smock, he hood having been hurriedly pulled back.
He stopped near the door, "What?"
Crusher moved forward with a slow, weary gate, displaying all her intense exhaustion. Still, she focused her eye on him and shook her head slightly, "Look, I….Listen. I'm just going to say this. I know how you feel about other people thinking well of you. I don't pretend to know why or understand it, I'm not going to analyze you. But, I want you know, I…I think you should know that…." Here, Crusher brought her hand to her forehead, "I'm proud of you, Lore."
No snide comment came to his mind. Neither did the urge to roll his eyes, scoff, or do any of the other dozen or so things that he typically employed to build a wall around himself. He was too stunned and…something else.
As if seeing the uncertainty or discomfort on his face, Crusher nodded and disappeared back into the surgical bay. Lore was still for a moment and watched the door. He was glad that Crusher had left so quickly, for he did not think he would like her to see the smile that came to his lips.
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"Bee, have you been here all this time?" Lore said upon entering main engineering.
"All of what time?" B-4 asked as he looked up from a disassembled plasma injector in front of him.
Lore smiled, "Have you been here since I left the room last time?"
"Yes." B-4 replied, "I did not wish to go back to my quarters. Geordi needed my help. He said it was important."
Lore looked at the disassembled plasma injector, "LaForge asked you to fix a plasma injector?" He could not keep the surprise from his voice.
"No." B-4 said, a little confused, "He asked me to disassemble it and then reassemble it. He said it is very important, though…I do not know why." B-4 picked up a small gold piece, a filament from the control circuitry, "It is fun."
Lore was about to question further, but his attention was gained by LaForge, who leaned out of the control room behind B-4's back. He made a silent waving motion at Lore and pointed at the plasma coil with a shrug. Lore understood immediately. LaForge had simply given B-4 a distraction.
"Is Seven of Nine still ill?" B-4 asked. At this question, LaForge also stopped what he was doing and listened.
"She will be fine, Bee." Lore replied, a satisfied grin on his face, "I wouldn't be surprised if you see her soon."
"That is good." B-4 continued, "Seven of Nine said I have 'advanced skills'. She said that I was being 'misallocated'.
Lore snorted a little, but was still in a pleasant mood. No. A wonderful mood. "How very efficient of her."
Out of the corner of his eye, Lore saw LaForge watching him in a kind of anticipatory way. He was not sure what to make out of it, but quickly decided that he probably wanted a more detailed update on Seven.
"The procedure was successful." He said. As if there was any doubt. "There should be virtually no recovery time. Considering her usual habits, I wouldn't be surprised if you see her during the next shift. She will just have to learn to adapt to her new deficiencies."
"Deficiencies?" LaForge said, sounding concerned.
Lore considered. Perhaps that was an inappropriate term, although he doubted that Seven would see it that way. "She'll have to adapt to some physical restrictions as a result. Without the cortical node to regulate her metabolism and energy usage, she'll have to sleep more and eat more. Her days of living on two hours in a Borg regeneration alcove are over."
LaForge expelled a stream of air, "Hardly deficient by human standards, I guess."
"Hardly." Lore agreed. He turned around and looked up into the second deck of the main bay. He listened, but he did not hear her. He faced LaForge again, "Is Anna on the mid-shift?"
At the mention of Anna's name, LaForge brought his hand to the back of his neck and rubbed. He shifted his weight a little, "Uh…no. She's not here."
"Clearly." Lore said, rolling his eyes a little, "When is she on duty again?"
"Uh…." LaForge suddenly looked very uncomfortable.
"Anna went away." B-4 said from his place at the control table, "She had a large bag and she was not wearing her uniform and she went away."
Lore turned back to LaForge with dagger eyes, "She what? What is he talking about, LaForge?"
"Ah, hell…." He shook his head, "Anna went on leave."
"What!" Lore fumed suddenly, taking a step back, "When? Why?"
"Earlier this afternoon," LaForge said, holding his hands up, "Look, Doctor Crusher has been trying to get her to take leave for weeks. I had no reason to tell her no, even on short notice. I gave her an open return leave chit, ten days."
"Ten days!" Lore couldn't even bring himself to hide his worry. That was it. He was not just angry, he was worried. Why would she just leave without telling him? Where did she go? Something must have happened. "What did she say?"
LaForge continued to look uncomfortable. He said, "She didn't say much of anything. She just wanted to go on leave, as fast as possible. She, eh…she did seem upset."
Upset? "Where did she go?"
"I don't know." LaForge said quickly. Too quickly.
"Where did she go?" Lore demanded again.
"Uh-uh." LaForge shook his head seriously, "That's her business, and if she wanted to tell you she would have. I'm not getting into the middle of this."
Lore shot him an angry scowl and turned to B-4, "Bee, did she say where she was going?"
"I was confused." B-4 said, "She said she needed to go home, but she did not go to her quarters. Her quarters are home."
Home? Where was that? He had no idea where Anna lived before she joined Starfleet. She could have kept a house anywhere on Earth! Perhaps the information was in her personnel file, or her Starfleet Academy records—.
"I don't know what you're thinking, but it's probably a bad idea." LaForge said meaningfully. "If you're thinking of looking into privileged personnel files isn't exactly something the Captain would approve of."
They really know me well. Lore scoffed, "Spare me your so-called pretensions to privacy. You live on a Starship where everyone's whereabouts can be tracked by anyone else just by asking the computer. Personal privacy isn't exactly high on your list of values."
"Argh!" LaForge threw up his hands, "This is a Starship, Lore. Starfleet! It's not the same thing as life on Earth. You can't just drop down into a place like Wallace and start snooping around, asking where people are—."
"Wallace?" Lore asked, his lips turning up suddenly.
LaForge stopped and an angry scowl marked his face. He had clearly not meant to release that bit of information, "You know what? Good luck. There must be dozens of places on Earth called Wallace."
No doubt LaForge was right, but there were probably not very many places called Wallace in the state of Idaho. Lore had heard Anna mention a place called Idaho several times, and with fondness. Perhaps that was the place she considered 'home'.
"I have to go, LaForge. I'm requesting leave." He said sarcastically. He turned to B-4, "Bee, I'm leaving for a while. Don't worry, I'll come back."
"Are you going to find Anna? Okay. That is good." B-4 said happily.
LaForge shook his head with a kind of resigned disgust, "Fine, Lore. Fine. But if you manage to get arrested, do me and the Captain a favor. Don't resist arrest, and don't contact either one of us to get you out."
"How touching." Lore muttered. He gave B-4 a final nod as a means of farewell and headed for the exit. As he did so, he snorted dismissively. Get arrested. How ridiculous! What kind of unmanageable fool did they take him for?
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Lore stopped before the door to Anna's quarters and pressed the chime impatiently. He had almost decided to rush straight to the transporter room, but upon closer thought had realized that a little more information would be best. He had no idea where Anna lived, even if she lived in this Wallace place in Idaho. It would hardly do for him to transport down to the center of some town only to have no idea where he was going. But, it was more than that. He wanted to know why she had left. He wanted to know why she would smile at him like that, raising all his hopes and assumptions, only to runaway.
Is she running away from me? The thought was devastating.
The door swished open and a tall woman with raven hair and a caramel complexion stood in the doorway. Her eyes immediately widened with recognition.
"Oh! Hello…Lore."
Lore looked at her curiously. She did not appear afraid in any way, just surprised. He decided it might be best to start with ignorance, "Is Anna here?"
"Oh, no, she's not. She…." Jasmine sighed, "She went on leave."
"On leave?" He said calmly, "Do you know where?"
Jasmine hesitated a moment when an alarm of some sort went off inside the room. She looked at it, then shot him an apologetic look as she crossed the room to deal with it. Lore took the opportunity to step inside. Jasmine hovered over a computer on the far desk.
"Hello." She said brightly, "Hey, look, do you mind if I get back to you in just a few minutes? I'm in the middle of something. Thanks. Bye." Jasmine folded down the computer screen and looked back to Lore.
Lore let his eyes rove over the room. It was a standard single crew quarters, but had been altered to accommodate two. The sofa and other lounge furnishings were gone, replaced by a second bed and desk set. He looked at the unmade bed across the room. Anna's uniform lay across it, and one of the drawers underneath was still open, as if she had been in too much of a hurry to close it.
"Um…I guess you didn't speak to Anna before she left?" Jasmine said.
"No." He replied, "Where did she go?"
"She went home, a town in Idaho somewhere. Willis, I think." Jasmine clasped her hands in front of her and let out a long sigh, "She was really upset and…God! She just hasn't been well in so long. All those nightmares and the accident, and then this damned interview—."
"Interview?" He said. Nightmares?
"Yeah," Jasmine continued, and her tanned cheeks took on a little color as she spoke, "She had a transfer interview at Utopia Planetia this afternoon, and those bastards! I don't know what they said to her, but it must have been terrible. She was saying things like 'my career is over', and 'they all hate me'." She looked at Lore very seriously, "She said they accused her of having questionable character. Can you believe that? Anna, of all people! Questionable character!"
It was all becoming clear to him, and too quickly. Everything that he had always feared, the primary reason for which he had left, had finally happened. Hot rage started to build inside of him. Anna was strong. She may not have come off that way to people that didn't know her, but she was remarkably strong, and so he could only imagine the nasty brutality that had led her to flee like this. Underneath all of that, however, he could not help but note that she had been attempting to transfer. Away from me.
"Why did she want to leave the Enterprise?" He asked, pathetically, for he was only expecting to get confirmation for his fears.
"She didn't want to leave!" Jasmine insisted animatedly. "It was just…just this stupid thing. She was only doing the interview as a favor for Dr. Warrick. He set it up by mistake. I guess he thought she wanted to transfer and so he pulled some strings without really talking to her about it."
Lore's eyes narrowed. "Really?" His voice was suddenly like ice. "Warrick sent her on this interview?"
"Well…yeah." Jasmine said, shrugging her shoulders, "You see, his uncle is the chief medical officer over there, and I guess he was going to have him pull some influence to…um…." She looked away, suddenly uncomfortable.
"To make up for her association with me." Lore finished. The anger was becoming almost too much to bear now. He could feel his hand tensing of their own accord with the urge to crush something. Owen's skull would do nicely.
"Yeah." Jasmine muttered, "That sounds about right. I'm…I'm sorry."
"Thank you." Lore said, "I think I know everything I need to know." Lore turned toward the door with a single minded determination. He just bet Owen went out of his way to help Anna! Pulling strings, indeed!
"Hey! Wait!" Jasmine said suddenly. She came quickly around the desk and stopped right in front of him near the door. The woman looked directly at him without any kind of reserve, which surprised Lore immensely. "I…I never said anything to Anna because I didn't want to embarrass her, but she talks about you in her sleep."
His eyes widened.
"Yes, she…." Jasmine seemed to struggle, probably with the propriety of what she was saying, "She said your name in her sleep all the time. All the time. I just thought you should know that. It's important."
Lore stared at the woman, but he did not have to look too deeply. Her unspoken meaning was as clear as words on a page. He stepped back into the corridor and said, with actual sincerity this time, "Thank you."
Jasmine disappeared back into the room and Lore turned firmly in the direction of the station airlock. He was going to Earth. There was no question about that in his mind, but first he had something to attend to.
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"I am quite well, Doctor, although…." Seven's jaw worked with some irritation, "I feel tired."
"I know." Crusher said sympathetically, "The information Lore left us mentioned a few things about decreased metabolic control, etcetera. What it really means is that you're a little more human now. Frail like the rest of us." Crusher laughed a little at that, meaning it as a joke, but Seven did not appear to find it amusing. She tried a new tact, "You're stamina and nutritional requirements are still going to be far more efficient than those of a regular human. You'll just need to regenerate a bit longer and eat more."
"Yes, Seven." The Doctor said, putting on a broad smile. "Think of it as 'roughing it' in the great human outdoors."
"I am not interested in 'roughing it.'" Seven replied, "Although…I am grateful. You will extend my thanks to Lore?"
Crusher nodded, uncertain if she actually would. She doubted Lore would take it well, and she wasn't in the mood for one of his snippy remarks. Although, she could not help but think about the way he had reacted to her words earlier. She had said what she said with all the anticipation of a horrible response, but had done it anyway for one reason and one reason only. It had been true.
"I really wish you would have agreed to stay in sickbay, for a few hours at least." Crusher said as she lifted her hand to get the attention of the café attendant. "You just had major, major surgery, Seven."
"I am not in pain, Doctor. Staying in sickbay would have been an inefficient use of my time." Seven looked down at the plate of food before her, "As is this."
The Doctor rolled his eyes a little and picked up Seven's fork, "Eating three times a day is hardly that much of an imposition. If you ignore it, you'll begin losing weight and muscle mass, which will make you tired, which will only to lead to longer regeneration cycles."
"I am well aware of the dynamic between nutritional intake and sleep." Seven said irritably. She took the fork away from him.
Crusher almost smiled. She would never say it, but she wondered if Lore and Seven had any idea how alike they were. Granted, Seven was not nearly as snide and sarcastic as Lore could be, but she was just as irritable.
Crusher looked up and made eye contact with the attendant, who smiled and began weaving her way toward them. The café was remarkably busy today. In fact, Crusher could only see a few empty tables on the edges. As she scanned the crowd, she saw Owen and Ogawa stepping away from the self-serve replicators. They each carried a tray with their lunch and drink. There were few available tables, but Crusher could see that the table next to her had a few unoccupied chairs. They could easily make room.
She lifted out of her seat a bit and waved at them. Ogawa smiled, nudged Owen, and they began to make their way towards them. When the path cleared they each picked up their pace a little, which, in hindsight, only made what happened next worse. Owen's foot suddenly stopped mid-step, sending the top of his body flying forward. Had Ogawa been any closer, she would have been struck from behind as Owen's tray and food went crashing to the ground. As it was, he stumbled and landed several feet ahead, sliding into the base of a table and causing its occupants to rise as all their drinks splashed over.
Crusher watched in stunned horror as Owen spun around onto his back and looked behind him with angry, outraged eyes. They remained that way until, just a few tables back, a lone figure turned around in his chair. Lore had been sitting with his head down, apparently focused on a data pad, and had managed to go utterly unnoticed in the bustling crowd. He rested his arm over the back of the chair now and looked down at Owen with the phoniest expression of regret Crusher had ever seen.
"Oh! I'm sorry! Were you walking there?" Lore said loudly, "How clumsy of me."
"Lore!" Crusher shouted. It was a warning and a reprimand in one. What the hell was he doing? Had he lost his mind?
People shuffled back as Lore rose from his seat, looking down at Owen menacingly, "Are you all right, Doc? Can I give you a hand?"
Owen scrambled up under his own power. The front of his uniform was soiled with coffee and some kind of marinara sauce. He eyed Lore with a heavy mix of anger and trepidation.
"Are you crazy!" Owen blurted, taking several steps back.
Crusher surveyed the now silent café in horror. What was Lore going to do? Better yet, what could any of them hope to prevent him from doing? She watched Lore as his brow shot up into a faux puppy-dog expression.
"Crazy? That's not very nice. I said I was sorry." Lore took a few more steps forward. Owen actually flinched when Lore extended his hand and said, with the most blood chilling tone imaginable, "Friends?"
Something in Owen snapped, "Friends! Friends w—with the likes of you!" He backed up several steps, seemingly oblivious to the people he bumped into, "You're insane!" With that, Owen spun around and plowed through the crowd without a backward glance. He disappeared down the nearest corridor just past the café, all the while Lore watching him with the slightest of smiles.
Crusher launched herself forward without any idea of what she was actually going to say or do. So, she stopped a few feet from Lore and shot him the universally known 'what the hell?' expression.
Lore turned his eyes slowly toward Crusher shrugged, "My, my, Doctor, you really should take a look at the caliber of people you have working for you. He isn't very nice at all."
Crusher seethed, "Goddamnit, Lore!"
He shrugged again, then glanced at Seven as if had just noticed her. "Ah, Seven. Hello."
Seven cocked an eyebrow curiously, for no doubt she had no idea what to make of the whole scene. She nodded, "Lore."
"I'll see you later, and you too, Doctor." Lore said cordially, "I was planning to stay, but on second thought, I'm not very hungry." With his hands still casually clasped behind his back, Lore wove his way through the easily parting crowd and crossed the promenade toward the far turbo-lift.
"What on Earth was that all about?" The Doctor said as soon as Lore had vanished.
Crusher looked down at the mess all around her; the spilled tray of food, the upturned chairs, the table of patrons now trying to clean drinks out of their laps. Her shoulders sank and she shook her head. It was like the hopeless reaction of an exhausted parent.
"Who knows?" She muttered, "With him, who the hell knows?"