Chapter Thirty-Seven – Home

Cause they say home is where your heart is set in stone
Where you go when you're alone
Is where you go to rest your bones
It's not just where you lay your head
It's not just where you make your bed
As long as we're together, does it matter where we go?

"Caroline.." She didn't want to look up. She knew that voice. Knew it well. Knew it from the moment she was born and if she looked up, she was going to break. She coiled further into the chair she was sitting in, her legs pulled into her chest as she buried her face in her arms. She hoped if she just ignored the voice it would go away but she knew she could not be that lucky. Nothing would go away until she was broken.

"Caroline please just talk to me. Look at me," Liz said again and Caroline felt the tears well up in her eyes.

"You are dead, you died, I watched you, you aren't here," she said, shaking her head, refusing to look up. She couldn't do this. Elena, Damon, and Alaric had been bad enough, but this was worse. Far worse. The room was beginning to suffocate her, make her feel trapped. She was trapped, but Klaus had explained how it was for her own good. She could not hurt herself in here, but it was making things worse. She was going crazier being locked in. The room seemed to get smaller every time she looked around it, but the addition of her mother made it worse.

"Caroline," she felt a hand on her shoulder and knew it was her father's, causing another sob to escape her lips. She climbed from the chair and moved away from her parents, stumbling back towards the door. She tried to break it down with no luck, reinforced.

"Let me out," she whimpered, hoping someone was on the other side of the door. "Please. I can't be in here anymore," she said pitifully.

No one answered. She was left here. Maybe Elena was right. Klaus and Stefan were just going to leave her locked in here for the rest of her life. Never let her out. She was a threat after all. Crazy. She was going to be stuck in here, starving and exsanguinating until the earth spun into the sun. That thought sent a chill down her spine.

Her fingers clawed at the door until they bloodied to the bone, healing only moments later. Her breath quickening. "Please let me out," she yelled, but still no one answered. She was done for. Her breaths growing quicker to the point of hyperventilation, making her sink back to the ground next to the door. Her mind started running a million miles a minute, completely ignoring the fact that both of her dead parents were standing to one side of the room, watching everything she did. The panic rose in her, the feeling that her throat was closing and she couldn't breathe came on quickly and she began to frantically search the room for the blood bags Klaus had brought in earlier. She needed to drink. She needed something. Calm her nerves, perhaps.

When she found them and devoured them, all five, the blood dripping from her lips as she dropped the last empty bag. She would need to survive somehow if she was going to be locked in this room forever. Survive until she could find a way out. Would Klaus bring her more blood or would he leave her? How long until he forgot about her completely? Moved on with someone else? The heavy feeling in her chest came back with vengeance as she turned back towards her parents and heard them both gasp.

"She's a monster, Bill," Liz said, tears welling up in her eyes.

"We didn't raise you to be this, Caroline. We raised you better than this," Bill enforced, looking at her with hardened eyes.

Caroline wiped her mouth with the back of her hand frantically, trying to wipe away and hide the blood from them. She willed her face back to normal as her eyes welled up with tears again, but she was too upset to calm down properly. "You already knew I was a vampire," she croaked out. "You accepted me, you knew it wasn't my fault." Her words came out in whimpers as she sat back down on the bench at the end of the bed. "You said loved me no matter what," she echoed the words they had once told her back at them.

"This was never in the realm of possibilities when you were a child, Caroline," Bill shook his head, the look on his face one of pure disgust. "When we told you that you could be anything you wanted when you grew up, this was never in the cards for you. We wanted you to get married and have children. Achieve things. You are a vampire. Nothing about this is okay."

"I'm not a monster. I don't kill people. I'm still your little girl," she said, trying to implore them to change their minds about her.

"You did kill someone, Caroline. That's why we're here. You killed someone and you have to be punished. That's what happens," Liz told her firmly. Caroline could see the tears in her eyes as she looked at Caroline.

"I didn't have a choice. I'm trying. I'm trying so hard. I'm always trying to be better," she cried, her knees moved up, pulling them to her chest as their eyes burned holes in her.

"But, sweetie, it's not enough. You will always be a monster. You can't be fixed, you'll never be okay again," Bill said. "You aren't trying. You are in love with a monster and you are a monster. I don't know how you could possibly think that means you are trying."

"That's not true!" she yelled, her tears making her voice break.

"You are going to kill again, Caroline. It's your nature now. You can't help yourself. You crave it," Liz walked closer, sitting down next to her on the bench. Caroline flinched away from the touch as the woman wrapped her arm around her. "But there's another way."

Bill walked over and sat down on the other side of her, sandwiching Caroline between the two of them. His demeanor changed as he reached up to wipe away some of the blood that Caroline had missed. It was beginning to dry in place on her cheek, letting it fall away in specks. "If you choose to live, it will continue. You'll always be a killer, but if you die you can spare the world."

"I know you want to be good, Care," Liz spared her a smile, hugging her only daughter tighter. "You just have to end it. You can come home with us. We can be a family again. I know you would like that. It's what you've always wanted isn't it? Us to be a family again. You just have to kill yourself."

"It's the only way, Sweetie," Bill told her as she broke away from him.

"I don't want to die," she whimpered, looking down at the two of them. "I'm not a monster, I'm an eighteen year old girl. I'm your daughter!" She yelled, flinging a chair across the room to where they had been sitting moments ago, but were now absent. She looked around the room in shock for a moment. They were gone. She was alone again. Alone. She took a breath of relief, wondering how long it would take for the next ghost of her past to show up. How long would she be alone?

| With or Without You |

Klaus sighed, his shoulders shuddering as he heard her bang on the door, clawing at it and calling out. She was calling out to him and he had no choice but to ignore it. He pretended he didn't hear the panic in her voice. Closed his eyes as he heard her side of the argument with her parents.

It would have been insightful if it wasn't so devastating. These were the things she really thought about herself down deep in her subconscious. That she was a monster. That she wasn't good enough. It didn't matter how much he tried to reinforce the opposite. It was clear she wouldn't believe them. Her parents did not accept her. No one ever really accepted her as far as she was concerned.

He flinched when he heard the chair break against the wall, silently deciding whether or not he should go in the room. Then he heard it. It was a thud followed by the overflow of tears and gasps for breath she couldn't hold in. The breakdown she had been fighting for hours now had finally come with vengeance. The mental image of her curled up in bed, her tiny body racked with sobs as she begged for it all to stop was too much for him. He tried to shake it from his head, but it was implanted there and he had no intention of finding out if he imagined it correctly. He ran his hand over his face, trying not to think about it. He knew the torment of one's own mind. Granted his was a much darker place than most, Caroline's seemed to be relishing in the torture just as his had.

"Hey, I have the location. You are never going to believe where this thing is," Stefan said as he walked into the hallway where Klaus was currently seated. He took in the man's worn appearance. It looked almost as if he was the one going through the curse, if he had not known better. He was lost in thought when Stefan walked into the hallway, as evident by the dazed look on his face.

The original hybrid looked up at him and pushed himself up from the chair, "Close enough to get to before daybreak, I hope," he inquired pessimistically.

"You could say that." Stefan led Klaus down the hallway back to the living room where Bonnie and Rebekah were standing uncomfortably next to each other. Kol, Elijah, and Katherine were seated opposite them.

"How is Caroline, Niklaus?" Elijah asked, his hands folded neatly in his lap as he looked up at Klaus with a look of genuine concern and worry. In his short time back in Mystic Falls, it had become abundantly clear that his brother needed Caroline and her influence in his life. He had seen his brother content for the first time in centuries; he did not want him to lose that. He had come to know Caroline in the last few months, she was a sweet girl, the light to Klaus's dark. She certainly did not deserve the hell she was going through now.

Klaus looked at each of those seated in the room; Elijah and Rebekah's faces were both etched with worry, Kol even seemed moderately concerned, something he never thought he would see. Even Katherine had the good sense to keep quiet and not say a word during this time. It was clear the impact Caroline had on them. "Not well," he said solemnly as he turned to Stefan and Bonnie who were standing over a map and a notepad full of pen scratches. "You have a sense of where it is?"

"It's in Mystic Falls," Stefan said.

"In the tunnels under the forest. The witch who made it had a sense of humor it appears," Bonnie added, showing him where on the map the cure was located. "There's a boundary spell in place to keep vampires out, but I know I can take it down."

"I'll go get Caroline." Stefan walked out of the room, heading for the small hallway that led to her anti-suicide room. He stood there for a moment, listening for noises before he entered, hearing her sobs from the other side of the door. "Caroline?" he said gently as he entered the room, watching as her head popped up. He didn't want to scare her and make things worse.

"Stefan?" she asked, eyeing him skeptically through her tears. She didn't know if it was really him or not and that made her feel worse. He was her best friend and she couldn't even tell him apart from a hallucination.

"It's okay. It's me," he said, taking another step towards her.

"That's what they all say," she mumbled under her breath as she sniffled, dragging herself up into a sitting position.

"We found the cure. We're going to go to it now, okay?" he spoke to her like she was a child and part of her hated him for it, but part of her knew it was necessary.

He reached his hand out to her and she took it, letting him pull her out of bed and wrap his arm around her firmly. "Everything is going to be okay, Care. We're going to fix this. It's all going to go away soon," he reassured her, ushering her out of the room and towards everyone else.

"You really think you fit in here, Blondie," Damon asked, cropping back up next to her. She cringed, curling further into Stefan's body as she tried to ignore him. "You don't. Let me tell you how this is going to go. Even with the cure, Elijah and Katherine are going to leave when this is done. Go back to their life on an island somewhere far away from Klaus. He was staying away for a reason. He's only here because Rebekah and Kol are. Kol is going to do something idiotic and get himself daggered, probably try something dumb with you because he just can't help himself. Rebekah is going to get angry and leave, dragging Stefan with her. Then it's just going to be you and Klaus and how long will that last? He keeps you around because you brought his family together. When you can't do that anymore, what's he going to do? He's going to drop your ass faster than vervain. This isn't going to end well for you. You might as well just end it now and save us all-"

"Shut up!" She screeched at the top of her lungs, drawing the attention of everyone in the room. She recoiled back into Stefan's arm as everyone stared at her.

"Come on, love, let's go," Klaus spoke motioning for Stefan to follow him as he headed towards the door.

Stefan held Caroline closer to his side as he walked towards the door, Rebekah just behind him as everyone else finally began to move. It was comforting being held close by someone who was real. It felt real. The other hugs, the ones from her parents and Elena, had felt hallow. This was firm and real. She knew he was only keeping her close, keeping her from trying anything stupid, but she couldn't help relaxing into it. Stefan's arms were safe. He was her protector.

The drive to the woods was silent. No one said anything, each one silently considering what having a cure meant to any of them. Helping Caroline was a given, but it went further than that. What would they do with it? Each silently contemplated their own fates given the circumstances, what being human could mean for them, if they wanted it. They were all silent in contemplation as Bonnie lowered the boundary spell and they all walked into the cavernous room. Bonnie was the first to find the box, setting it down in the center of the room as each of them looked at her, waiting for her to open the box as Caroline and Stefan stood near the entrance.

When it opened, Klaus emitted a growl, his veins rippling with anger. The frustration and annoyance was evident on all of their faces. Each wore a disappointed look, but none more than Klaus. He picked up the box and launched it at the wall, the contents spilling near the entrance. "This is a joke, a sick joke," he screamed, the veins under his yellow eyes rippling. "I did everything I was supposed to do." The others shuttered as his rage escaped.

"It'll be okay, Care. We'll figure something else out," Stefan said, running his hand along her shoulder. "You know I'll always protect you," Stefan tried to soothe her. "I'm always going to be here. I made a promise to you."

Caroline looked down at what had come out of the cure box. It was a joke, a sick and cruel joke played on them all. There was no salvation for any of them, no magical cure all. Stefan was speaking the truth and that realization cut her deeply. Elena's words rang through her head, Stefan would protect her forever and what kind of life was that. He needed to be free. Free of her and her curse. He needed to be happy. He needed to be free of her. She was a force in his life, he was always saving her, fixing her mistakes. It was too much responsibility and she needed to absolve him of it.

"A Stake! A bloody stake! That's the cure of vampirism? Death," Klaus seethed. "I'm sure the witches had a laugh at this one. We would chase the cure to the end of the earth only to see it was a death sentence." Death was the only way to escape this life. His hand cut across the stone of the cave, causing it to crack under the pressure. The one time in his life he had been selfless and it had ended badly. He had put all about his plans for hybrids on hold the moment he realized the cure could be used to help Caroline and it did not make a difference. She was still cursed.

"We'll figure something else out, Klaus. There has to be another way," Stefan said.

"What? What is the other solution?" Klaus spat angrily.

Caroline watched them argue. They were arguing because of her. The pain in her chest grew worse as the others tried to stop them. She could stop this; she could put an end to this all. Everyone was right. She was the problem. Her eyes fell upon the stake that had fallen to the ground when Klaus threw the box. It wasn't pretty but it was a means to an end. An end they all desperately needed. It only took a moment for her to reach down and grab it, plunging it through her chest. She emitted a groan as the pain spread through her body. Her mouth hung open as she dropped to her knees. "I'm sorry," she whispered the tears rolling from her eyes down her greying face as she dropped to the ground.

Author's Note: Don't hit me?