Hello to all! Again we are happy to see some of you who have stuck to this fic even with the long wait, and some new readers as well. We hope you enjoy it.
WARNING: For you guys, as in 'men' who are reading this, read the title so you won't be caught off guard. That's all we have to say ;)
33- At war while in my period and not being able to rely on the Fellowship members when it counts
So the night finally came when war came at Helm's Deep, and guess what, my period decided to waltz in that very evening. I was pissed as hell. No one could come within a meter of me without having me snap at them. A poor soldier asked me if I could pass him his sword which happened to be right beside me. I glared at him, grabbed the sword and held it as if I was about to kill him with it.
"What?! You can't grab your own sword? You think I'm some sort of slave? Do ya?!"
The man stuttered, raising his hands in front of him as a sign of peace.
"N-no, that is not what I meant. I simply thought…"
"You think that just because I'm a woman I'm supposed to bow to your will?"
The man looked completely confused and helpless against my irrational ranting.
I basically threw the sword at him, though I aimed at the floor since I was not about to kill him just yet, and left the room.
I was so moody that the war seemed like little to me at the moment, and let me repeat myself, at the moment. I was placed inside the wall on high grounds so I was not with Aragorn and the others. Oh yeah, I bet you're wondering how a girl was allowed to fight in this war, simple, they had no men and would no object a women, especially since I meant nothing to those people. Cold, right? But that's how it went. So I waited on higher grounds, and it was not until I saw those big, black, ugly things that I shitted myself. I think I might have passed out for a moment, or my mind just blanked for a while, because when I came back to myself, Uruks had reached us. I was frozen and rooted on the spot as I saw the things cut their way towards us. But it was then that the mother of all cramps made me gasp in pain and double over, clutching my lower half. Just then, an Uruk came charging at me while screeching and growling. I was in a hellish mood, so that made me snap. I looked up, glaring at the beast.
"Stop screaming so loudly you piece of shit!" I screamed in anger, which was a contradiction to what I had just said. It seemed that the mix of my period, moodiness, terror and adrenaline rush came crashing inside of me and became too much, so much that I lost all sanity. I grabbed my sword and charged it head on. It must have been a comical sight to see little ol' me charging ferociously at an Uruk that was probably over two feet taller than me. I ducked and dodged as he tried to cut me, swung my sword up and sliced his arm off. Then I turned on my feet and sliced him over the middle, effectively inflicting a mortal wound, but getting soaked in its blood in the process. As it died, in my angry and crazed state, I picked up the arm that I had cut off and slapped his face with it senseless.
"How you like me now, bitch?!" I screamed with a maniacal smile before I continuously slapped him with his arm. "Why are you hitting yourself? Why are you hitting yourself?" I asked repeatedly. When it finally died, I began to laugh pretty much like a psychopath. I turned around to see several men staring at me with horrified expressions while some Uruks who had witnessed the scene, slowly retreated, growling at me like a kitten does to a big dog, before turning to attack other men.
"What?! You're growling at me too? You want a piece of me too?" I said with a confrontational posture. I still had the dead Uruk's arm in hand so I threw it at the closest Uruk-hai before charging at it with a battle cry that sounded more like an animalistic shriek.
Now that I think about it, I must have looked really crazy to the other soldiers.
Another thing about this war that really pissed me off is the fact that you can never rely on the members of the Fellowship when it really counts. I mean, Gandalf always disappears when you need him the most and never comes back until the end of the battle. Aragorn was too busy being all noble and defending the elves and what not, so he could not come to my aid when an Uruk grabbed me by the hair and almost tossed me out the wall! Gimli was too busy competing with Legolas and counting his kills that he didn't see me being slammed half way across the courtyard and against the wall by an Uruk that decided to 'play' a little before killing me! Needless to say I gave him a slow, painful and vicious death. And last but certainly not least, Legolas! For the love of God! Legolas can kill a cave troll, throw down a ladder with about a hundred orcs on it, kills half of the orcs in Moria, shoots down seven uruks without missing a single one in a row, in the future he'll take down an Oliphaunt all by himself, but he can't kill one stupid suicidal orc before it blows up half the wall of Helms Deep?! I flew like a rag doll and landed in a pit! I was stuck there for a while until an elf found me and dragged me back when they were retreating to the Keep!
Not a good three days for me, nor for the Uruks that crossed my path, or the poor men that must have been scared at the sight of my craziness. On the other hand, I did hear that now I am used as a sort of boogie monster to scare naughty children into being nice. Can't say it doesn't make me a little proud to know this. At least my name will live on for a while in Middle earth.
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