Author's Note: Firstly, I want to apologize for not posting yesterday like I usually do. For some reason I was unable to login to my account all day...I'm not sure if it was my computer or the website, but it is all better now! :) Secondly, this letter was not requested by anyone. But I kind of got inspired recently and I had to write it. This is a letter from Sam to Dean, written on January 24th the year that Dean was in Purgatory. I hope you like it! Also, I want to thank jojospn, mb64, GuestJ, flygirl33, jusyann, reannablue, and SPNxBookworm for their recent incredible reviews. And thanks to all of you equally incredible readers!

Disclaimer: I don't own Supernatural.

Dean,

So it's January twenty fourth today. And you're gone. I thought I'd be able to handle it, you know? I thought that after everything I'd at least be prepared to face the day and survive it. I wasn't fooling myself trying to imagine enjoying it. I knew I couldn't do that… But I thought I might be able to get up and go about my day, and maybe even do it without breaking down crying.

I was wrong. I can't even bring myself to get out of bed. So I'm sitting against the headboard you'd call girly, writing you a letter that you'll never see, because I need to feel close to you today. It's stupid, right? I mean, it's not MY birthday. Why should I feel down that it's not being celebrated? Maybe it's because I'd give up every single birthday I've ever had for a chance to give you yours today.

That's not what you'd want to hear and I know it. After all, you gave me some pretty awesome birthdays when I was little and it'd be terrible of me to throw them away. I know you'd be offended after all the effort you put into them. Because you always put me first.

Remember the year of the epic cake? I definitely do. I remember how I always used to get a cupcake or something small from the store on my birthday. I never got a full on cake because Dad saw it as a waste. I guess he was right, because we couldn't exactly store the leftovers. But when I was seven I cried because some kid in my class told me how he got a two layer cake for his birthday, and I wanted to have a special cake too.

Well, Dad dropped us off at Bobby's for my birthday that year and you sent me on a scavenger hunt all around the junk yard to find my present. I thought the hunt itself was pretty cool, and it definitely kept me busy for hours. Which is exactly what you wanted, of course.

When I finally found the last clue and followed it back to the kitchen, I found that you and Bobby had made me the largest and messiest looking cake I'd ever seen. It was a whole three layers tall and I didn't care in that moment if it was falling apart or not. It was the best cake I'd ever laid eyes on in my life. To this day I remember that as my second favorite birthday present.

Of course it's only a close second to that year you told me you were dragging me to a strip club to celebrate my twenty fifth… I wanted to smack you, but you just shoved me in the car and told me to "relax". I was pissed because you totally know how uncomfortable I get in strip joints, and I couldn't believe you'd force me into one on my birthday. And then we pulled up in a grass field in the middle of nowhere, and you parked the car and said, "We're here!"

And you laughed because apparently the look on my face was "priceless" when I finally realized you'd been messing with me. You'd actually packed our cooler with beers and picked a spot with a great view of the sky. And we sat on the hood of the car for hours just talking and drinking. Just being brothers, I guess. And it had been so long since we'd done something like that…It was perfect.

Who's going to just be my brother now? There isn't anyone in the world that could do it. Not one person. You're the only guy who could ever be my family like that, and now you're gone. And now I'm stuck here alone failing miserably at not thinking about the fact that it's your birthday, and you're dead. So Happy Birthday Dean…

I really miss you.

Secondary Author's Note: Please accept my apologies if I stabbed your feels with this one. Lol But thanks for reading! Reviews and requests are totally welcome. :D