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Higher

Chapter Thirty-Seven: Steps Ahead

EPOV

Four days without seeing Bella was torture. It killed me not to see her, not to talk to her—hear her giggle, fucking feel her, just be with her. But I had to make a lot of moves, and I didn't want her in the way.

It was best she stayed out of sight, out of mind…but she was always on my mind.

My bullshit needs didn't matter, though. I had too much to do, and she needed to be out of the way, so I could handle things faster.

Weeks ago, I put a down payment on a townhouse a few blocks away from my father. Things were coming together, and I kept placing more and more money down as I'd earn it. The people who used to live there had already moved out, but we had no furniture, no nothing. Shit with the bank worked out okay. Since I'd never fucked with my credit, I essentially had no credit, but my father cosigned with me. I'd been approved for a mortgage, but I wanted to pay off as much as I could, so we could live comfortably in the near future.

After Bella's birthday, I started slinging more X, but that wasn't enough. I called Aro, my dope supplier from back in the day, and I made a huge purchase. A few boys from the block were going to move it for me, and that was cool—wouldn't fuck with my day job.

I'd only planned on making one large buy, but the money was amazing.

The following week, I went to Aro to re-up, buy some more.

The product moved swiftly once again, and I had a huge hunk of change to give the bank.

Also, I had some money left over to buy even more heroin.

And I swore that'd be the last time.

I was technically a homeowner, and I had a year's worth of mortgage payments saved up along with enough money to pay Bella's tuition for the next two fucking years. And with as much paper as I'd earned, I could spoil Bella, we could have a huge fucking wedding somewhere—go to Hawaii for our honeymoon or something.

Things were amazing, and I kept telling Bella "soon," that it'd all be settled soon enough.

Then Los and his boys rode along with me when that piece-of-shit Blood stepped to Bella.

On my mother's grave, I didn't intend to kill him, but it happened, and his boy took a shot at me. Los had actually driven us back to the block, and then we disbanded.

Since I basically employed many Crips around the way, and everyone was eating well, they had my back—they still do.

When I thought Bella was going to leave me after all I did . . . I fucking lost it. I'd killed someone to defend her honor, took a shot myself, and I . . . I had the thought in my head that if she left me, I didn't want her with anyone else.

Once I realized what I'd done…

I mean, in a split second, I almost lost it all.

I felt horrible, and I thought it best she go stay with my father until I had my head straight—until things were pieced together better, too, until we could move into our new home, which . . .

We could have done that the next day—when I got the keys, when she was supposed to be at my father's but had gone to Renee's.

Shame on me for not checking in with my father sooner, but when I'd gotten to his crib—and it was already dark out—and she wasn't there, I flipped the fuck out.

Dad had to punch me in the face just to get me to settle down, and then I was planning to go look for Bella.

But I settled on calling around for her first. Renee gave me the runaround—was polite but wouldn't give me a straight answer. I was about to go over there, and then she finally told me that Bella was there.

Renee said Bella didn't wanna talk to me.

Hyped up again, my father quickly talked me down—telling me to give Bella space and whatnot—but I was pissed.

At Bella.

And I couldn't stay in one place, my adrenaline pumping through me.

I managed not to do anything stupid.

I'd gone back to the crib, smoked a blunt, drank quite a few beers with Emmett, and ignored my pager.

For whatever reason—after spending the whole day an emotional wreck—Bella gave a fuck and wanted to talk to me.

I went to sleep instead of calling her back. Now she was at Alice's, and I kept telling myself I didn't care—wanting to stay angry at her, although I knew I'd relent. I thought my father's words regarding space sounded cool. Bella was safe. She was in Bay Ridge, and that's the compromise I made with myself.

The next day, Bella blew up my beeper. She paged me like a million times, and I finally called her back.

I understood what she was saying, and my baby sounded so sad, it took everything within me not to run—go get her like she'd asked me.

Again, I still had a few things to settle—things I didn't want Bella knowing about.

Logically—and since I couldn't legit be angry with her—I asked her to give me some time.

All I needed to do was unload the dope from the last buy, and then introduce Los to Aro.

Los and his crew were living large now, comfortable, and I couldn't leave them high and dry.

But that was my last big step, one of the last things I had to do before I'd walk away from it all.

I even packed up all my shit, the rest of Bella's things, and I loaded it all into the van.

My queen-sized bed was no longer good enough, and I had a larger bed delivered to our new house along with other bedroom furniture and a couch. I wanted the place to look like a home.

I wanted to surprise Bella.

And then I'd get down on one knee . . .

It was all so picture-perfect.

And I didn't have to worry about her while she was in Bay Ridge.

She'd go to school, chill with Alice, and I'd "work," and then work on other things.

For those days Bella and I were apart, I'd barely slept. I had too many things going on—too much shit to settle.

Another fucked-up thing was that we didn't spend our first Thanksgiving together.

Knowing we'd have plenty more, I decided not to dwell on it too tough.

On Saturday night, after I presented Los to Aro, I headed to Tunnel to meet up with Demetri. He'd since come through—heeding my warning and keeping his boys in check, charging more to give me the money I'd wanted.

Unfortunately for him, the package I gave him tonight was the last he'd ever see from me.

I didn't care about leaving that fuck in the lurch.

It was around midnight when I left the crowded nightclub, and I threw my pager into a nearby trash can.

That was it.

No more.

Ahead of the game, I was walking away from it for good.

We had a house now. We had enough money so that we'd live comfortably, and Bella wouldn't have to work. She'd only have to focus on school. I'd only have to worry about bullshit heaters and air conditioners.

Alas, it was late when I arrived home, although I thought about paging Bella.

As I entered the apartment, I smiled and figured I'd just show up at Renee's first thing in the morning.

At first, I was scared to see Bella—not knowing if I'd be angry, too emotional and hurt. But now it's over. All the garbage is behind me—behind us—and our future was mere steps ahead.

"Ed, that you?" Emmett came running toward me as he put his coat on.

"What's up?" I closed the door after myself, and then I saw Jazz leaving his bedroom as he placed his shoes on.

"I tried paging you—"

"What happened?" I asked.

Emmett and Jasper shared a look, and then my cousin placed his hand on my bicep.

Wary, I stepped back. "One of you—talk."

Emmett wore a long face and Jasper had his mouth open, ready to speak but nothing came out.

"What's going on?" I shouted, reaching out to shake my cousin.

"Bella…" His mouth kept opening and closing.

"Uh…Alice just called like ten minutes ago." Jasper took in a shaky breath.

"Where is she?" I turned for the door to run down the stairs. "Where is she?" I stared back up at them.

"Lutheran Medical Center," Emmett said.