Hamlet-Czerny
I know....three plays a page....but....I just made this so....
HAMLET
Hamlet: Pearl
Ophelia: Ruby
Horatio: Dia
Laertes: Silver
Claudius: Red
Gertrude: Green (guy)
Polonius: Gold
Fortinbras/Ghost: Emerald
Script: All the girls (though led by Platina)
REHEARSAL
Girls: *giggling*
Gold: What's going on?
Girls: *burst out laughing*
Yellow: We wrote a script!
Red: Wow, you wrote another script Yellow? That must make you so happy!
Everyone: *sweatdrops*
Blue: Anyways, take a look! *shoves script into Green's face*
Green: No way! Not again!
Pearl: Hey, only the guys are acting in this!
Platina: In the time of Shakespeare only gentlemen were allowed to act, therefore we have decided to create an authentic representation of one of his plays.
Pearl: You were in charge of this, weren't you?
Platina: I most certainly was not!
Ruby: YES, I'M OPHELIA!!!! I GET TO WEAR BEAUTIFUL CLOTHES!!!!
Everyone: O.O
Platina: This is one of Shakespeare's greatest tragedies.
Dia: If it is a tragedy, how can it be so great?
Pearl: *smack*
Silver: Laertes....great....I die.
Platina: Everyone dies.
Green: Great!
PERFORMANCE
Red: Ah, sweetheart, isn't this marriage ceremony wonderful after the sadness our kingdom faced.
Green: Very. Wonderful. We. Are. So. In. Love.
Pearl: *very passionate* Mother! How could you marry only TWO MONTHS after father died!
Green: *through gritted teeth* I. Don't. Know. Myself. Kill. Me. Now.
Platina: He will in due time.
Blue: Wow, Green would make a perfect Hamlet!
Pearl: Girls are all so weird.
Red: Don't be emo Hamlet. Celebrate, rejoice in our happy marriage!
Green: *murderous look toward Red* Very. Happy.
Pearl: My parents are nuts.
Dia: *munch munch*
Pearl: What is it Horatio, you look paler than usual.
Dia: *munch munch*
Pearl: *silent*
Dia: *munch munch* Want?
Pearl: *slap*
Dia: Ow, what was that for!
Pearl: You are supposed to be scared!
Dia: *gets very scared*
Pearl: That's better. *ahem* Horatio, what ales you? Why are you so scared?
Dia: Because you told me to be! *munch*
Pearl: *slap*
Platina: Hamlet, you are a depressed child because your father died.
Pearl: *angry* I am a depressed child because my FATHER died.
Dia: Oh yeah!
Pearl: *hopeful* What is it Horatio?
Dia: I left the tea on the stove.
Pearl: *blasts off*
Dia: Huh? The tea is gone!
Emerald: Boo! It is I who took it.
Dia: *very scared* Who said that?!
Emerald: I did.
Dia: Show yourself!
Emerald: *angry* I'm right in front of you!
Dia: *looks down and is startled* Oh. Um, Pearl, there's a hobbit here.
Emerald: I CHALLENGE YOU TO A POKEMON BATTLE!!!
Pearl: Father, is that you? How did you get so short as a ghost?
Emerald: *vein pop* I KILL YOU NOW!
Pearl: Thank goodness. But I want to know first, who killed you?
Emerald: I BEAT RED IN THAT FRONTIER TOURNAMENT!! HE DID NOT KILL ME!!!
Pearl: Aw, shucks, and I thought he did. Ok, you can kill me now then.
Dia: But if Red did not kill him, then why is this shorty a ghost?
Emerald: I'M LEAVING!! BUT JUST YOU WAIT, I'LL GET YOU ALL FOR THIS!!!!
Dia: Wait, my tea!!! TT__TT AND HE TOOK ALL THE COOKIES!!!! YOUR FATHER IS HORRIBLE!!!!!
Pearl: *serious* Dia, I mean Diamond, I mean Horatio, do you know what this means?
Dia: I'm going to starve! TT__TT
Pearl: Yes, but, it also means that Claudius may still have killed my father, we need to investigate!
Dia: TT__TT my....cookie....
*the next morning*
Gold: *very happy* Son! GOOD BYE!!!!
Silver: *very angry* Father.
Gold: Do not make a fool of me while you are at France.
Silver: Don't you do that to yourself?
Gold: *ignores it* And Ophelia!
Ruby: *giggles and has a very high voice* Yes, father?
Audience: O.O
Gold: Um, did you swallow helium or something?
Ruby: That would have been a good idea! *giggles*
Gold: *sweatdrops* (It's his real voice!) *ahem* Stay away from Hamlet, he is dangerous!
Silver: Look who is talking.
Gold: I did not ask you Laertes, now shoo.
Silver: Good riddance *leaves to France*
Pearl: *comes running in after not sleeping an entire night* Beautiful Ophelia!
Ruby: I am beautiful aren't I?
Audience: *sweatdrops*
Pearl: *looks franctic*
Dia: *runs after Pearl* My cookie~ TT__TT
Pearl: DO YOU HAVE A COOKIE?!!
Ruby: Uh, no, I don't want to ruin my diet, duh.
Pearl: Then I must be off. *runs away from Dia*
Dia: MY COOKIE!!!!! TT__TT *runs after Pearl*
Ruby: What was that all about?
Gold: Why, he must be in love!
Ruby: You think? No. Really? If it were but true, for I lov--
Sapphire: *angry and strangely jealous* REMEMBER!!!
Gold: Look Ophelia, Hamlet is depressed that you do not return his affection.
Ruby: But I really DO lov--
Sapphire: REMEMBER!!!!!!
Red: What is going on?
Gold: Your Highness, King Claudius, Hamlet loves Ophelia.
Red: That's great! Two happy marriages! Aren't you excited sweety-poo, our son, getting married!
Green: *eyes turn red* KILL. ME.
Gold: But Ophelia doesn't love Hamlet!
Red: *GASP* What's not to love?
Platina: Blue, are you sure Red was the right choice for that part?
Blue: *looks at Yellow* Definitely.
Yellow: *on the verge of tears after seeing Red being so close to Green*
Green: I. Thought. You. Hated. Hamlet.
Red: I do?
Platina: *sweatdrop*
Blue: Yeah, maybe you're right.
Gold: Anyways, since Hamlet loves Ophelia, he'll tell her why he's depressed and then we'll know.
Red: Excellent idea! But....why do we want to know?
Everyone: *sweatdrops* (just how much more clueless can this guy be!)
*Pearl is in adjacent room while the others spy on him*
Platina: My favorite part!
Pearl: *exhausted* To be or not to be: that is the question: whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer the slings and arrows of Dia's outrage, or to bow to his whims and find a cookie to make him happy. To die: to sleep; life is too long to think only of food! What cares that my father was killed, if only, if only I could now find a cookie or die.
Gold: *sweatdrops* He really is mad.
Ruby: My lord, do you love me?
Pearl: Love you? Never, not one who does not have a cookie!
Ruby: *heartbroken* No, my life is in vain, there is no one left in the world for me to love.
Sapphire: REMEMBER!!!!!!
Ruby: Goodbye sweet world, I die *kills self*
Gold: *GASP* OPHELIA!!!! NOOOO!!!!!!
Red: Uh, what just happened?
*intermission as we inform our clueless actor*
Gold: Look, Hamlet, you gotta stop being so emo!!!
Pearl: *eyes red from lack of sleep* DIE!!!! *kills Gold*
Gold: No, he killed me!!! I'm too young to dieeee!!!!
Silver: *returns from France on news of his father's death* Oh, you killed Gold. Good job Hamlet!
Pearl: DIE!!!!!! *kills Silver*
Silver: What?! No, you die!!!! *kills Pearl*
Pearl: Farewell, cookie~ *dies*
Green: Sire, give me the poisoned cup.
Red: Huh? This one?
Green: Yes. *drinks it* Finally. *dies*
Red: NOOOO MY SWEET JULIET!!!!! *stabs self*
Audience: Uhh....wrong play.
Yellow: *cries*
Dia: *comes in with a jar of cookies* Hey, where is everyone *munch*
Emerald: I HAVE COME TO KILL ALL OF DENMARK!!!!!!
Dia: THE GHOST FROM BEFORE!!!!!!
Emerald: I am no ghost, I am Fortinbras, prepare to meet your DOOM!!!!! *knocks over jar of cookies*
Dia: MY COOKIESSSSS TT__TT *assumes kung fu pose*
Emerald: *pulls out lightsaber* Die, you will!
*Dia and Emerald engage in the most epic battle of the century*
Blue: They're destroying the stage! We must do something!
Sapphire: Not until HE REMEMBERS!!!
Platina: Hmph Commoners. I will not engage in their strange habits.
Yellow: *crying over Red*
Crystal: *who has so far been watching quietly and complied with the other girls' requests* Fine! *KO's both Emerald and Dia* Boys!
The ending is not so great. But I hope I planted some seeds for possible new plays (Kung Fu Panda and Star Wars....though I'm working on Star Wars eps. 4-6 atm with Emerald as Yoda XD It might take a while to complete )