Kaylee peeked around the corner of the infirmary, cupping a steaming mug in her hands. Simon was sitting on a large chair, leaning over the side bench concentrating hard. Kaylee smiled slightly to herself as she walked in; trying to think of a way to make her presence known without startling him.
"Simon?" she asked softly. It didn't work; Simon shuddered and leapt about five feet into the air.
"Sorry," Kaylee said sheepishly, "didn't mean to…"
"That's fine," Simon said, flustered, "My own fault."
"How's it going? Looks like a lot to get through."
"It is," Simon sighed, "but if I find something, well, it'll be worth it."
"Sure will," Kaylee said brightly, "I brought you some tea, help you stay alert."
"It'll probably put me to sleep," Simon laughed, "but thanks, I appreciate it."
"Any time," Kaylee grinned. "S'getting late though, you should probably thin about sleeping soon. You ain't had much of late."
"I'll think about it," Simon assured her, sipping at the steaming liquid. Kaylee took it as a dismissal.
"I'll see you in the morn then," she said, turning and exiting the room with a smile. Simon watched her back until it was out of site, and grinned to himself as he turned back to his papers.
The morning came with much disapproval from the crew of Serenity, many of whom would have been happy to sleep for hours more. They slowly made their way to the kitchen in varying degrees of wakefulness, acknowledging each other with nods or grunts until sustenance had entered their systems. Mal rubbed his face with a sigh trying to remember what he was doing.
"You shiny, captain?" Zoe asked him.
"Yeah," Mal grunted, "got in contact with badger last night; he's happy to unload the goods for us and set us up with more work. We're due on Persephone in three days. 'Nara, we'll be there less'n a day so, make your arrangements or don't as you see to."
"Thankyou," Inara smiled at him and glided off to her shuttle. Mal watched her.
"You sure badger isn't gonna skunk out on us again?" Zoe asked, standing over Mal and reclaiming his attention.
"No, I ain't," Mal said irritably, "but he might be less inclines to if we get there on time." He looked pointedly at Wash, who was still leaning over a bowl of sloppy protein.
"I'm getting there," Wash mumbled sleepily.
"Well get there faster," Mal said, pushing his chair back and striding out of the kitchen.
"Knock knock."
"It doesn't count if you say it," Inara said without around, "or if you come in anyway."
"Good point that. I'll keep it in mind for next time." Mal grinned. Inara sighed.
"Was there something specific you wanted?" she asked.
"Merely to check on your general state of wellbeing," Mal said casually, "there've been some unexpected and tense moments in the past few-"
"I already said I didn't mean to kiss you," Inara snapped. Mal blinked.
"I was referin' to the whole runnin' from beumonde and getting near caught by the feds in the dead of the black thing," he said, surprised, "I wanted to make sure you weren't upset or hurt by any of the goings-on"
"Oh," Inara blushed, "yes… I mean, no. I'm not hurt or upset… by them."
"Good," Mal was still frowning.
"Yes," Inara said firmly, implications riddled in her voice. Mal took them.
"I'll speak to you later then," he backed out of the room. Inara slouched with a sigh.
"So you haven't actually forgotten it?"
"Mal!" she spun, on the verge of slapping him.
"Right, going…"
"Simon?"
The papers had become widely spread around the infirmary; only the treatment table had been left untouched. Rows of type were rendered meaningless in the drabble. Simon looked up at the timid call, unsurprised to find River standing in the doorway.
"Hello, mei-mei," he rose, embracing her gently, "Where's Maddy?"
"I asked Kaylee to watch her," River seemed apprehensive, "needed to talk to you."
"Are you… do you need to say things?" Simon asked her, leading her over and sitting her on his chair. River shook her head.
"What is it, River?" he asked her kindly, hoping she'd feel safe enough to answer.
"I just wondered…" she began, but stopped and looked away.
"Mei-mei?" Simon asked her to continue.
"Do I… do I complain, Simon?"
Simon was once again hit with shock from her words. In his moment to respond River had turned back to face him, moisture in the edge of her eyes.
"What's making you say this?" Simon asked, trying to understand exactly what she meant. River shrugged.
"Come on, Mei- Mei," Simon urged her, "tell me what the missing value is." River smiled slightly at his analogy.
"I just thought…" she took a deep breath, "that, well… I'm sacred a lot, and I hurt and… I tell you because I feel like I want to. It makes me feel better. But I'm scared of things and I make it hard for you, because they made me scared and hurt and… then I think that Maddy was there longer… and I feel like I don't have the right to feel scared or hurt and tell you, not when people are worse off."
"Is this why you don't like to say things around Madeline?" Simon asked, "You feel like you shouldn't 'be complaining'?" River wrinkled her nose.
"No," she said, "I know Maddy doesn't think that… but I do," she finished somewhat sheepishly.
"Come here," Simon hugged her; she leant sadly into his arms.
"Baby, you're allowed to feel scared. You have every right to feel like this, and to tell me. It doesn't matter if there were any number of people who were ten times worse off than you; which I'd just like to point out isn't likely; this is real to you, and that's what matters. I want you to tell me, I'm glad it makes you feel better and you never have to feel guilty for being scared. Okay?"
"But Maddy's worse-"
"Mei-mei," Simon said gently, "I've been reading things, and I can tell you… they stopped treating Madeline for a long time. She was still there, but they weren't doing anything to her."
River stared at him.
"I mean, they did, but very rarely," Simon explained, "think about it. See if you can remember… didn't they take her less than you?"
River looked at her feet, droplets still falling from her eyes but Simon could see she was mulling his words.
"Yes," she whispered finally.
"Yeah… so you don't have to feel guilty, mei-mei. Never feel guilty." He hugged her tightly again. "Thankyou for telling me," he whispered to her. River smiled.
"Thank you, ge-ge," she hugged him back.
Inara stepped out of her shuttle only to find Mal walking toward her on the walkway.
"Are you stalking me?" she asked, exasperated.
"You flatter yourself," Mal said dismissively, coming opposite her, "I got myself more important tasks." He grinned for a second, "that is, 'less you want me to."
Inara gritted her teeth.
"Now who's flattering themselves?" she asked coldly. Mal grinned even wider.
"C'mon, Inara. Ain't no use getting all angry and fighting coz of one supposed mistake. Besides, I'm just having fun with ya."
Inara groaned. "You're never going to let me forget it, are you?"
"I might let you," Mal said seriously, "but I never want to. And since you're the one getting snappy with me, so I ain't rightly sure you want to either."
He winked, and strode off. Inara stood open mouthed at the entrance of her shuttle, fuming, only because she knew he was right.