Chapter 36: The Ed Plan
"Hah! You think that's gonna work?!" Marie burst into laughter, sitting in the driver's seat of the van. "Why the hell do you want to apologize to fucking Lee anyway? Change of heart? Pants are getting a little too tight in your single life?" Eddy grimaced, glancing to Marie.
"You wouldn't get it. It's a high school thing, and considerin' you're a drop out, it'll go over your head." Edd sneered.
Marie covered her mouth gasping. "Was that supposed to insult me?" Marie smiled. Eddy rolled his eyes. "Hey, remember you're the one who pulled me aside and asked for advice on how to deal with her. Here's my advice, your apology sucks, and she ain't gonna give you any favors with something so fucking dumb. Either find a better apology, or find somebody else to help you with your needs." Eddy glared to Marie, who gave a shrug. "What is it that you want from her?"
Eddy rubbed his face letting out an annoyed groan. "You wouldn't get it." Eddy snapped. "Where would she be right now?" Marie stared to Eddy with her head tilted. "Come on."
"I'll tell you if you can figure out my name." Marie smirked.
"What?!" Eddy growled.
"Like I haven't noticed you never call me by my name." Eddy grumbled. "Now come on, 'Eddy'. What's my name?" Eddy fidgeted around, stretching. "Edward." Marie smiled widely. "Skipper." Eddy clenched his jaw. "You can do this." Marie reached over patting Eddy's head.
"Marie Kanker." Eddy mumbled.
"Huh?" Marie smirked, holding her hand to her ear. "What was that Loudmouth?"
"MARIE FUCKING KANKER!" Eddy screamed.
"Fucking Right!" Marie shouted, punching Eddy's arm.
~o~
Lee sat down, staring at Eddy, who sat in front of her at a booth in the bar outside of town. Lee's arms were crossed, with her jaw clenched. "So, you came to tell me you're sorry for being a what?" May watched Eddy too with a smile on her face, excited to hear the response. Marie sat with her arms crossed, blowing a bubble with her gum.
Eddy groaned. "I am sorry for being an asshole and doing asshole things to you that upset you."
Lee shook her head, May did also in unison, Marie gave a smile. "Not good enough." Lee snapped. Eddy stomped his foot. "You'll have to do a lot better than that shit if you expect me to help you out." Lee sat forward, leaning onto the table. "A hell of a lot." May nodded.
"Even then, we probably won't." May smiled.
"Told you your apology sucked." Marie looked away.
"This isn't me you're helping out… well, not only. It's also Double D." Eddy cried.
"So, it is true?! Double D got suspended?!" May asked in shock. Marie turned to May, then Eddy, her gum falling out of her mouth. "Oh my god, Lee… he did get suspended." May grabbed Lee's arm shaking it. "How?! Did he really cover for you?! Was he in tears?!" May began to ask.
"I gotta go." Marie snapped, leaving.
"Can it, May." Lee smacked May. "You ain't going nowhere until we finish this meeting!" Lee grabbed Marie's shirt, throwing her back onto the booth. "Come back to us when you have something better to offer." Lee shooed Eddy away.
Marie frowned to Lee. "You ain't the fucking boss of me." Marie snapped, standing up. Lee grabbed her again, pulling her back.
"Shudup. The grownups are talkin'." Lee hissed. Marie's eye twitched angrily. Eddy looked around the bar to pick up on any ideas to make a convince Lee to help. He saw on the television a sale on homecoming dresses, he cringed, looking down to Lee.
"I owe you a date." Eddy smiled.
Lee crossed her arms again.
"I have been a complete Assface and there is no excuse for it… the only thing I can do is make it up by asking you to homecoming." Eddy announced. "And after, take you out for dinner." Lee smirked, looking at May and Marie who smirked back.
"Or, you can just pay for me and my girlfriend." Lee offered.
"Girlfriend?!" Eddy questioned.
"Yeah, girlfriend, you have a problem with that?!" Lee challenged.
"Well… no." Eddy sighed. "Fine, I'll pay for you, and your girlfriend."
"And chauffer us to wherever we please."
Eddy's eyes narrowed. "I'll pay for you, and your girlfriend." He repeated.
"And drive us around wherever we want." Lee smiled holding out her hand with a smile across her face. "Pleasure doing business with you, Skipper." Eddy shook it hesitantly. "So, what do you need from us?" Lee asked.
"Your freshmen and you fine ladies." Eddy said simply. Lee's eyebrows rose.
May and Marie looked to Lee. Lee ran her hand through her hair. "Sounds fun." Lee pushed Marie out of the booth, standing up. "What do you want us and our freshies to do?" Lee asked. Eddy stood up, whispering into her ear. Marie and May closed in too, listening.
Marie jumped back, glaring at Eddy. "I have to do what?!" She screamed. Lee and Eddy glared at her. "No. Hell to the fucking no." Marie snapped. "When the fuck did you plan on springing this shit on me?! You're such an asshole!" Marie jabbed at Eddy. Lee grabbed her by the hair, pulling her back.
"You wanna help your boyfriend or not?" Lee hissed. Marie frowned, trying to get out of Lee's grip.
"Come on, Marie." May sighed. "You know you love him." Marie let out a groan, rolling her eyes.
"Fine, but once Oven-Mitt is cleared, I'm out."
~o~
Eddy drove home, parking the van into his drive-way. He yawned, getting out, locking it up.
"Eddy." Eddy turned to see Nazz behind him with her hands in her pocket.
"Oh, hey Nazz." Eddy sighed. "What's going on?"
Nazz looked around, moving closer to him. "Any word on who did this?" She whispered. Eddy inhaled, glancing around for any eavesdroppers.
"It's too risky…" Eddy admitted, unlocking the van, dragging Nazz into it. He closed the door sitting down. "Of course, Double D knew it was…"
"Whoa whoa whoa." Eddy and Nazz yelped to the unexpected voice. "What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Nazz and Eddy found Marie glaring at them from the back seat, with her arms crossed.
"What am I doing?!" Eddy shouted, glaring at Marie. "What are you doing?! In my van?!" Marie smiled. "How the hell long have you been in here?!"
Marie crossed her legs. "Long enough to know you can't sing for shit. And ever heard of a blinker? It's this amazing invent that lets people know you're turning or moving into another lane, asshole." Nazz giggled. "You ain't telling these neighborhood brats squat." Marie threatened.
"Hey, Eddy can tell me anything! He knows I'm on his side!" Nazz placed her hand onto Eddy's shoulder. Eddy looked at Nazz blushing. Marie snorted. "It's true." Nazz frowned. Marie sat forward, staring Nazz down, her eyes looking wild. Nazz moved away from Marie awkwardly. "Why are you looking at me like that?!"
"Listen Blondie, I don't care if you're on Porky's side. Doesn't mean the people you're hanging out with are." Marie explained. "It'd be easier for you to keep a secret if you don't know it." Nazz's jaw dropped.
Eddy clenched his jaw. "Shut up, you don't even know Nazz, she one of the best around here, she can keep a secret." Nazz smiled looking to Eddy.
"Did you figure this out before or after you guys started banging?" Marie smirked, leaning onto the passenger's seat, messing around with Nazz's hair.
Nazz and Eddy's face flushed. They glared at Marie. "What's your deal? I've done nothing to you." Nazz snapped, slapping Marie's hand away.
Marie shrugged. "Nothing personal. I just hate your face." Marie smiled, opening the van. "Thanks for the ride, Skipper." Marie waved. "Tell Blondie anything about anything, and not even Big Ed's muscle will stop me." Marie warned, her eyes flashed as she closed the door.
"Kankers." He snapped, looking to Nazz. "And here I thought Double D tamed her."
"What was that about?" Nazz asked. "What is the big secret?"
"No clue. I'm exhausted." Eddy opened the van, getting out.
Nazz frowned. "Hey wait!" She followed. Eddy looked to her. "So, who did it?"
Eddy yawned, crossing his arms. "I'll tell you later." Eddy sighed,
"You don't trust me." Nazz frowned. Eddy cringed. "Oh my god… you believe crazy Marie." Nazz snapped.
Eddy shook his head. "It isn't you I don't trust, it's those fucking Kankers… they get wind I tell you anything, you'll probably be a target."
"Kankers? Wait. You're dating Lee again?" Nazz asked. "Is that the secret?!" Edd caught the hurt expression on Nazz's face. "Why would you do such a thing?"
He smiled, "I wish that were the case, that would have been cheaper… but you'll see what's happening." He walked towards the back door to his room.
"Eddy." Nazz called. Eddy turned to her. "I, um." Nazz exhaled, clasping her hands. "I'm here to help too… you know."
Eddy nodded. "Yeah, uh, thanks… but if this whole thing goes south, I wouldn't want you caught up in it." Eddy smiled. Nazz nodded, returning the smile. "See you tomorrow." Eddy walked into his room, laying onto his bed, yawning. He pulled out his phone, crawling under the blankets. He looked at his messages, reading a text he had received from Edd.
'Jimmy cannot know that you know.' Eddy frowned, putting his phone onto his nightstand, next to a picture of Lee. Eddy froze staring at the picture of Lee confused. "How the hell…?!" He noticed a little note written in the corner.
'Looking forward to tomorrow, better bring a change of clothes.
Love, Lee'
Eddy grimaced, laying the picture down face first. He curled up in his bed, closing his eyes, turning over to hug his other pillow.
"Good night Eddy." Ed smiled, hugging him back. Eddy let out a scream, attempting to kick Ed from the bed, but flew off instead, hitting the floor. Ed sat up staring down at Eddy.
"What the Hell Are You Doing?!" Eddy screamed, standing up.
Ed stared blankly at Eddy for a moment, he then remembered why he came, pulling out a wad of crumpled papers from his pockets, handing it over to Eddy. Eddy took them, looking down at them. "You told me to watch Jimmy today while he and Sarah were hanging out, and take notes." Eddy uncrumpled a paper reading it.
"Jimmy keeps staring at me, and Sarah says this polish does not go with my make-up, but it does." Eddy read, looking to Ed. "Did you, let them give you a makeover?" Ed smiled and nodded. "You were supposed to be spying on Jimmy!" Eddy threw the wad at Ed. "Not playing with them!"
"After they were done, Jimmy kissed my cheek." Ed announced. "Then Sarah kicked me out." Eddy stared at Ed.
"Jimmy kissed your cheek?" Eddy paused. "He has a crush on you?!" Eddy frowned. "So, he's busy doing all this shit and leaving you alone because he likes you?!"
Ed smiled. "Ed is a good Ed."
~o~
Edd looked over to his window confused when he heard knocking. He opened the blinds to see Marie smiling, waving at him. He opened the window quickly, pulling her in. "Are you crazy?!" Edd cried, closing the window, grabbing her face, scrutinizing her for any injuries. "This is the second story! You could have gotten hurt!" Edd snapped quietly. As he examined her arms, Marie smacked him away.
"So, you skipped over just getting a detention and got suspended…?" Marie smiled. Edd looked crushed after hearing the word. He walked away, sitting onto his chair, biting his lip. She walked over to him, sitting on his lap. "It's not the end of the world. I actually think that you seem bad ass now." Marie smirked, making him face her. "Finally." She pulled Edd's face towards her, kissing his forehead. "I'm so proud."
"I don't feel bad ass…" Edd looked at her, then down. "My parents are thinking of placing me in a private school, away from everyone whom they assume are bad examples. You can only imagine who they could be referring to."
"Don't worry… Skipper is on it." Marie pat Edd's cheek, standing up. "He actually went over to the bar and apologized to Lee… and hired us for his little… how would you put it? 'Ploy'." Marie winked.
"He apologized to Lee? He had no reason to." Edd frowned.
Marie rolled her eyes. "He's an asshole!" Marie argued.
"Well… he may be an asshole, but Lee is a bitch." Edd crossed his arms. Marie's eyes narrowed, she grabbed Edd's face, pressing her lips to his. Edd grabbed her arms, quickly moving her away, covering her mouth. "My apologies…" He whispered, as he stood up, dragging her to the closet. He quickly closed the closet door, rushing back to his desk chair, sitting down. He fumbled around, grabbing his book, opening it.
Edd's dad walked into his room, handing him a ton of private school pamphlets, looking angry. Edd took them, "Thank you." He said. His father left slamming the door. Edd waited a minute until he went back to the closet, opening it. Marie sat on the floor, looking at something.
"Whoa, you have the whole collection of Homicidal Maniac cards?!" Marie looked up to him.
"It's their psychology behind it that intrigues me." Edd admitted. "What is Eddy's plan?" Edd asked. Marie smiled, looking at him. "I would ask Eddy, but my phone was confiscated." Marie grabbed Edd, dragging him into the closet, closing the door behind him. "I highly doubt that Eddy's plan was making out with me." Edd snapped, pulling away from Marie.
"I'm paraphrasing." Marie giggled, sitting on top of him. Edd smiled as she rolled her eyes. "Oh my god, I'm starting to talk like you now."
Edd moved his hand through Marie's hair. "Don't worry, you didn't even use the word in the proper context." Marie pursed her lips, pulling his hat down.