"MOTHER OF GOD. NEVER. NEVER."

Salut! Oh mon dieu that was fabulous!

I'll try not to make it a long one this time. (I'll... try...)

France: I want you to go bra shopping with Ukraine. You are not allowed to say

or do ANYTHING perverted WHATSOEVER.

Spain: I heard about your tomato throwing festival! Throw tomatoes FIERCLY at

EVERYBODY at some point. :3

Prussia: Tie up and torture Igi again. (Désolé Igi... Non I'm not.) Until

she admits that

1. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is SO much more awesome than Twilight. (Think you

got off easy? Wrong...)

2. That France is awesomer than Prussia, the Avengers, Gilbird, and yourself.

Désolé I think I'm evil. Guess that explains why I like Loki so much.

À bientôt!

-Bururu

"Son of a bitch! I'll admit any day that Buffy is better than Twilight, but HIM-" she pointed to France. "Being literally, the most awesome thing in creation? Nur über meine Leiche! Over my dead body!"

"Aimez-vous aussi!"

"Shut up."

Spain whammed France with a tomato. "Fusoso! I'm going to love this!"

"Ooh...France. You have to go into Victoria's Secret with Ukraine. And not say anything perverted. Here's the duct tape."

"Hey, I need that!" Prussia shouted snatching it. "This one is going to need a lot of torturing, she is my ex-stalker and number one Fangirl!"

"Don't forget born Prussian Territory!"

"...fine, you're my territory. Happy."

"Much," Igi said, smiling. "France may go now."

France left. "Hungary! Go follow him."

Hungary took off with her handy-dandy video camera.

Prussia pounced on Igi and duct-taped her hands together. "Kese!"

Spain nailed Prussia with a tomato.

"Un-awesome, right in the flag!" Prussia complained, scraping tomato bits off his Prussian flag shirt.

"Fuso~"

"All right, time for the torture!" Prussia said, moving Igi to upright. "Kese! Meat!"

"Mein gott! Prussia, you know I'll die if I eat meat!"

"Wasn't that something we made up to scare off Russia?"

"NO! I have literally, swear to god, never had a real piece of meat in my whole life. If I was to eat any, I'd get horribly sick. America put some chicken in my food once? I threw it up immediately and almost choked on the vomit, that's how bad it was. Seriously. No meat."

"Fineee." Prussia groaned.

Spain nailed the authoress with a tomato, Prussia wiped it off of her face.

"Prussia?"

"Ja?"

"YOU WILL NEVER WIN."

"Kesesese~"

"FREEEDOOMMMM!"

"I thought you didn't like BraveHeart?"

"My parents made me watch it," The Authoress said annoyedly. "It was the most boring movie ever."

"Speaking of movies, Frau~"

"OH HELL NO. You did NOT just threaten my copy of Avengers. My future copy of Avengers Blu-Ray, with extra-awesome footage of Captain America. You do not touch my Avengers without my permission!"

"Nah. You'd hold a grudge to that. Did you change the password to your iPad?"

The authoress was silent.

"So you didn't...HÖLLE JA!"

"FICK. Fick. Fick." Igi cursed, whacking her head into the couch.

"Wooah! Nice OC, Frau! A dragon? You considering bringing her into the physical realm, like you did with London?"

"Gill? Maybe."

"A Year of Songs for Concordia. I like this one, Frau. It's a different sort of love story."

"Exactly how I describe it!"

"Hm...starting a new story? 'Life in the Bermuda Frying Pangle'. Another OC? You really like making those."

"Ja, I do. I work better with female characters."

"I like this one. Sort of. The awesome me isn't in it yet! Unfortunately, that priss Austria is."

"I'm mending that."

"Look! Your Internet history!"

"Sheiße."

"Oooooh...this is sexy. Why didn't you just say so?"

"I think everybody knows that I'm your stalker!"

"Ex-stalker."

"Have you ever even been in my room?"

"Ooooh. Hetalia x Reader on DeviantArt."

"WANKER!"

"Prussia x Reader on DeviantArt. England x Reader on DeviantArt. Bad Touch Trio x Reader on DeviantArt. I had no idea you meant it so literally when you said you loved us, Igs..."

"Shut up!" Igi said, blushing. "Some of those are Platonic, you know!"

"Right...and Mein name ist nicht Gilbert Beilschmidt."

"Fuck you."

"Kese! I've touched a nerve here, Bururu!"

"Shut up!"

" ...Ooooh. Us as a THREESOME. Toni, remind me to try that."

"I'm FACEPALMING!" The authoress yelled.

"Hm...why did you read so many stories with me and Austr-"

"FINE. FRANCE, ARSCHLOCH AND PIECE OF SHEIßE, IS AWESOMER THAN ME, PRUSSIA, GILBIRD, AND THE MOTHERFUCKING AVENGERS. NOW STOP LOOKING AT MY MOTHERFUCKING INTERNET HISTORY!"

"Kese~"

"A LOKI fan? I should have known!"

Prussia untied her.

"Lolz, I take it all back...Kese."