Disclaimer: I do not now or before and most likely not in the future, own Final Fantasy, Square Enix or any of the characters.

Reviews, critiques and flames are welcome. I absolutely love all reviews about the story as it gives me motivation, I use good constructive criticism to help my writing improve and I feed the flames to the fires of my imagination.

A/N: I wanted to make a note about Zack's behavior. I am slightly patterning his current behavior in the last couple of chapters after his behavior in my other story, "Intra Tentatio Insania," just in case there is any questions. What can I say, I love writing insane or crazy Zack.

I want to apologize for the extraordinarily long wait for this update. I got busy with my mentally ill niece over the summer and didn't get much time to write. She literally interrupts me every few minutes. Then I had a bout of writers block for all my stories except "Nexus" since it's already written. I had to force this chapter out and now that school is back in, I fear that I won't have as much time to break the wall that I'm stuck behind. I promise that I will never give up on this story as long as I have a story to tell and people willing to read it! All I ask is for your patience.

Guest reviews: (Since the reviews are short and anonymous, I'm going to start putting them up here so that you don't have to hunt down the review so that the answers I give make sense. The reviews are in the quotations and my responses are below them in italics.) Thanks to all the reviewers for taking time to read and review!

1. "Make Zack. Get Revenge . He is Free right!? Make him Focus on Revenge. He cpuld some Hatred"

Not to worry, Zack will get revenge one way or another.

2. "Please do NOT make Cloud or Zack have sex with anyone else. They should be waiting for each other. Hopefully you gave Cloud back her memories. There's only so much drama I can take before I stop reading a story."

Since this is an angst/romance story, drama is going to happen, that is basically what angst is, extreme drama, anxiety, dread or anguish. I understand that there is a certain high level of drama in this part of the story, but if there wasn't, there simply wouldn't be much of a story.

3. "I mean no offense with my comment BUT I feel like this story was ruined for me after you made Cloud get amnesia. Not to mention the disgust I felt reading a sex scene about Zack and Tifa :( "

No offense taken, everyone is entitled to their opinion and that is exactly what I want, the readers opinion. That is what makes this site so awesome, if you don't like a story that you're reading, you can simply hit the next button and begin reading a different story.

my best guess- Thanks for reviewing! I have said it before, I just love a good cliffhanger. I have always felt that it invested the reader further into the story. It gives the reader something to look forward to.

Thanks to my super-powered beta SubZeroChimera

"Effort only fully releases its reward after a person refuses to quit." –Napoleon Hill

To You I Give My Heart

Chapter 36

~Everything I Once Knew~

After the little girl left, Zack wondered what to do now. Looking at the puppy as it sat there, wagging its tail happily, he turned to Harding and asked, "Should we wait until after dark to get out of Midgar? Or do you want to play with the little girl tomorrow?"

Again, Harding was quiet.

"You can't stay mad at me forever!" Getting up, Zack quickly lost interest in the man who he figured was still ignoring him. Reaching down, he playfully tussled the puppy's fur on his head, patting the animal as the little brown bundle growled and yipped at him good-naturedly as the pair relaxed in each other's company. Zack smiled, but it wasn't like the smiles from the last few years, soulless and fleeting. This time it was full of feeling, full of what he'd been missing. This time it was a genuine smile that held a certain humor and in-born naïveté that he once had in spades.

Turning to say something to his friend, he noticed once again what he was afraid of, death. Harding's skin had begun to discolor in a pallor that was not associated with life. Slowly his smile faded from his lips and tears replaced the happiness that was once there in his eyes.

"I'm sorry. I forgot."

Stepping forward, Zack took the blanket and covered the rest of the body, "I'll go find a place to bury you." Brushing some of the dirty brown hair from his forehead, Zack gazed at his face. In death, Harding now had peace, a peace that he wanted, freedom from the torment. His cloudy brown eyes held none of the glow they once had while in captivity with Hojo.

Once darkness fell, and the humans were closed up in their homes, Zack made his way to a larger pile of rubble and set his friend down. Moving aside lengths of cable, broken concrete slabs, old rusty pipes, car parts and electrical wiring, he made an area large enough to place Harding. Before covering him, Zack clasp his hands together, wringing them and making his knuckles pop, "I'm sorry that I killed you. I wish I could remember why you were there, but you didn't deserve it… I do remember that."

Glancing around, he talked while he moved to take some of the wiring and placed it slowly on his pale chest, "Rest now."

After the makeshift funeral, Zack watched his feet as the puppy bounced and played as it kept pace with him. A growl of his stomach moved his attention and he realized that he hadn't eaten, "Are you hungry?" With a yip, the puppy seemed to answer the question that Zack didn't know whether he'd asked the dog or himself.

Deciding to do a little hunting, he took a route that looked to lead to an area where it might be possible to find something scavenging in the dark. The entire area was full of scrap from the upper plate. Hearing a shuffling behind him, Zack didn't stop walking as he glanced over his shoulder and noticed that he was being stalked. With a smirk, he slowed and began to limp as he grabbed at his side and mumbled loud enough for the creature behind him to hear, "Ahh… That hurts."

Although his acting was not very good, it did the trick as the wolf-like creature advanced. With a quick move, Zack dipped his hand down and grabbed the puppy and tossed him several feet to the side just as the wolf pounced on his back. Taking Zack to the ground, the wolf bit down on the back of his neck. This reminded the brunette of all the times that Harding got the upper hand during their captivity. It was never unusual for Harding to bite down on him and draw blood, but Zack had a trick.

From his stomach, Zack reached behind him with his left hand and planted his right hand flat on the ground next to his shoulder. Grabbing the leg of the wolf, he pushed up and flipped his back so that he appeared to turn over in mid-air, landing on the wolf. In surprise, the jaws retracted as it let out a yelp when Zack's weight landed on him. Getting the wolf in position, Zack reached up and quickly snapped its neck, ending the fight before he really got started.

Gazing down at the now lifeless eyes, Zack solemnly said, "That wasn't very much fun." Standing and finding the puppy sitting behind a concrete slab, Zack asked, "Do you like wolf?" As the puppy trotted happily toward the Soldier, Zack picked up the dead animal and carried it to the pipe he now called home.

Sticking his fingers in his mouth, the brunette savored the metallic taste of the iron-rich blood of the large animal. Licking and sucking the remnants off his dirty fingers, he looked at the puppy as he wrestled the last bites of meat off the bone that lay in front of it, "Good huh?" Zack leaned against the wall of the pipe and watched the little brown bundle of energy, "That little girl is supposed to be back tomorrow. That's what she said. Do you think she was real?"

Rolling over to its side, the brown, fur-covered and rounded belly gleamed in the dim light as Angeal the puppy breathed contently, watching his new master flick his fingers in the air. Nervously, Zack tapped his fingers as he thought, if the little girl was real, then he didn't want to scare her off so he would have to clean the dead wolf carcass up and hide it from sight.

Falling asleep, Zack woke up to the puppy bouncing around, playing with a mouse that found its way inside the pipe, "Angeal… It's too early to play." Opening his eyes just a small amount more, he watched as the puppy swatted at, tumbled, pounced and played with the terrified mouse. With a yawn, Zack ordered sleepily, "Kill it Angeal, it will only take our food." When the puppy failed to kill it, Zack jumped up and with lightening reflexes, he slammed his hand down on it, keeping it from escaping. Gently, he picked it up by its tail and studied it as it squirmed and he asked Angeal, "Do you think the little girl, Charly… no, Charla… no… Char-lotte would want a snack when she gets here?"

Sticking his index finger out, he ran it over the soft fur on the back of the mouse and it squeaked and tried to bite him, but he held tight to its tail as he looked around for something to put it in.

"Hi mister!"

The little girl that he'd begun to think was just a dream stood at the opening of the pipe with a radiant smile that took his breath away. Her long black hair, held in pig tails on the sides of her head, were tied with pink ribbons that matched the ruffles on her bright white shirt and the baggy jean shorts she wore, her little hands clasped in front of her.

Quickly glancing around, Zack noticed some of the bare bones and other grisly remains of the wolf remained next to him, he forgot to gather them up before he fell asleep. Almost forgetting the mouse in his fingers, he smiled, matching her smile, "Hello."

Winkling her nose, she asked, "Is that a mouse?"

Swallowing a sudden lump in his throat, he held it out to her, "It's for your birthday. That's today? Right?"

Nodding her head enthusiastically, she raised her hands up, cupping the wild thing hanging at his fingertips, "I haven't had a pet before. Mommy won't let me because we move around a lot." Raising her eyes to his, the light blue irises glowed brightly as she smiled, "Maybe she'll let me keep you? What's your name?"

Wrapping his hand gently around her wrist, he stammered, "Specimen Z." Shaking his head, he cleared his throat, "No, I mean Z… Zack? My name is Zack."

"My name is Charlotte," She lowered her hands, releasing the mouse, "I came back here to ask if you wanted to come to my birthday party."

Zack's eyes fixed on his dirty fingers touching her soft skin, it was like going home; she was calming to his raging heart. Surely she was his cloud, except the eyes were different… the hair was different. She was just a little girl, a little girl that he felt he knew.

"Mommy made me a cake and bought ice cream too!" Wrapping her tiny fingers over the hand that still held her wrist, she asked, "You'll come won't you?"

Dropping her wrist, Zack backed away. People meant danger and there would be people at a party. Every time Hojo showed up, the people herded him, beat him and made him do things… horrible things that made him cringe at the thought.

"You can have all the cake and ice cream you want," She pleaded and took a step forward, "I had a dream about you last night!" Zack backed away but she reached out and ran her fingers over his hair, "Auntie says that I'm special and I want to help you."

Recoiling back from her touch, Zack shook his head, "I can't."

With a reassuring smile, she gripped his arm and pulled, "Sure you can! I'll make Mommy understand!" Not getting him to move, she turned to the puppy, "Tell him, puppy. Tell him it's alright for him to go." With a bark and nip at his hand, Angeal happily played at her feet as she grunted in an exaggerated manner.

"Angeal."

Putting her hands on her knees, she smiled at him and asked, "What?"

His eyes went to the dog that sat and panted just a few feet from the entrance to the pipe, "The puppy's name. It's Angeal."

"Angeal? Really?! That's a great name. I have a guardian angel, he has a wing and everything, but it's black…"

As she spoke, Zack's thoughts went to someone he used to know, a long time ago.

"…He said it's black because of the sins that he is paying for, but I don't know why he says that because he is so nice to me and Mommy…"

Memories rose from the ashes of his history. The sounds of helicopters and the feelings of a tranquilizer running through his system. Dirt flying in the air, stinging his eyes.

"…But he only has one wing because he said that Minerva didn't want to bless him with too much grace and beauty…"

He was suddenly forced with a memory of his wrists being forced behind him as they were tied tightly and the Turks standing over him talking. Pain in his chest at the thought of not seeing his clouds anymore as Hojo would take him again. Flashes of red leather and a black wing…, "Genesis."

"Yes! How did you know his name?"

Looking to the little girl, Zack's eyes welled up, "Genesis is not my friend."

With a giggle, the little girl raised her hand to her mouth and she said, "My Mommy says that Genesis is only friends with Genesis."

Weighing the information, Zack didn't want to go anywhere, but if the little girl wanted him to come, he would go, but he would need a weapon first. Grabbing a large leg bone, Zack snapped it in half, leaving one end sharp. For some reason, the thought of Genesis around this little girl bothered him, the brunette felt the deep need to kill the little girl's guardian angel, "I'll go if you want me to."

Clapping her hands together, she smiled and exclaimed, "Great! Come on, the party will start soon and I want you to meet my family." Leading Zack from the pipe, she asked, "Do you have family?"

Family… He wanted to say yes, his mother, his father and his clouds that he held close to his heart, but it was a secret that he couldn't tell anyone. However, he felt close to this little girl, he wanted to tell her things, share with her, hold her, laugh with her, but he held himself back as she led the way through the rubble that littered the slums of the sector.

Stopping, Zack almost ran into her as she turned and asked, "I asked you a question. It isn't polite to ignore someone who's talking to you."

Rubbing the back of his neck, he answered, "Yes, I had a family."

Turning to walk again, she asked, "Where are they now?"

Looking around, he noticed that they seemed to head away from the populated parts of the city. Tucking the sharp bone into the pocket of his pants, Zack answered, "Gongaga."

"I've been to Gongaga! Mommy took me once when I was really little! That is where I learned to ride a chocobo."

A small house came into sight as he asked, "You rode a chocobo?"

Nodding her head, she smiled as she turned to talk over her shoulder, "Sure! Here we are." Stepping into the rundown building Charlotte announced, "Mommy, I brought a friend for my birthday. Can I keep him?"

A female voice asked, "What friend?"

"Oh, he's shy." Peeking around the corner, the little girl took him by the hand and pulled him into the small kitchen, making the woman freeze, "Here he is."

The eyes that he'd dreamt about, the long blond hair flowing free across her shoulders and the plump lips were all what he'd missed… Was this woman his cloud?

Her mouth fell open as she caught herself on the counter, she stammered, "Z-Zack?"

Furrowing his eyebrows, he wasn't sure what it all meant, but she knew his name.

"How did you know his name Mommy?"

Blinking, she broke her eye contact and spoke to Charlotte, "Go get your Auntie. Quickly." When the little girl ran from the house, the blond spoke to him, "Zack? It is you isn't it?"

The little girl made a good point, so he asked since she didn't answer, "How do you know my name?"

Taking a step forward, she said, "We've been looking for you… I've been looking for you since that day they took you."

Tilting his head slightly, he asked, "So we know each other? Are you my cloud?"

Nodding her head, her eyes welled up with tears, "Yes… I'm your Cloud."

A/N 2: Thanks to everyone who reads, favorites, subscribes and/or reviews, I appreciate your time and I dedicate all of this to you. To quote another author, "Getting reviews makes me feel all warm and squishy."

Please send me your reviews if you want. It is really easy. Just click your arrow in the little box, write what you thought or felt about the chapter and then click right down there, just below the box. A little lower… a little to the right… yeah, right there! Click it! *grinning*