Listener Point of View:
By the time Astrid releases me my heart is hammering in my chest. What just happened? Is the only thought I can muster. The older woman continues to hold me close, but turns her head in the direction the monster went, her face unreadable in the darkness of night. After a few moments she pulls away and says "He's gone, we should start heading back." Nodding I allow her to lead me back to our makeshift home, her hand grasping mine.
Halfway through our walk Nanook joins us and happily trots beside us, unaware of what just transpired. Ignoring Nanook Astrid stalks forward, her face hidden by her thick mane of hair. Twice we were almost attacked by some unseen predator, but somehow Nanook was able to manage them and we made it back to our safe haven in one piece.
Slowly Astrids drops my hand, and at once sits down and begins pulling cold bread and cheese out of our food bag. Extinguishing my torch I keep my eyes trained on Astrid, who continues to keep her eyes hidden behind a curtain of hair. Laying my weapons down I walk over and sit down beside Astrid, who visibly tenses when I sit.
"Astrid," I began, "I-" Promptly cutting me off Astrid says, "You were panicking." Keeping her jaw clenched she stares angrily at a stone near her foot. "You were panicking, and I didn't really want to explain to Lenka why her daughter became some monster's late night snack." Suddenly her face softens about ten degrees and she says, "I just..."
She crosses her arms over her chest and offers no more. Reaching over I push her hair behind her ear and say, "You kissed me" For a second her eyes snap up and meet mine, before they drop back to the stone and she says "Yeah." After a few moments of silence she raises a block of cheese to her mouth and takes a bite, never offering more than that one word.
Blinking I ask her, "Do you think of me that way?" Fighting to keep her voice even she answers "You were making too much noise. We were going to get caught and I needed to do something to prevent that." Despite my better judgement I say, "That's not what I asked..." Slowly she raises her eyes to meet mine, for some reason they seem to gleam in the light of her surviving torch.
"I consider you my friend, actually I consider you my best friend. I would love to pursue a romantic relation with you, I truly would. Actually, I've wanted to for quite a while, but there's a problem. You really are the best friend I've ever had, and I don't want to take the risk of ruining that." Even though she said she didn't want to pursue a relationship my chest swells at what she said.
"But you want to?" I ask her. Her nod is almost nonexistent, but it's still a nod. Smiling I reach out and take her hand, ignoring her feeble attempts at pulling away I ask her, "Why didn't you tell me this before? And if I might ask, when did you start feeling this way?" Glaring at the rock she answers "I started feeling like this when Muiri told me how well you did on your first real contract. It showed your dedication and drive, not to mention devotion to our cause. The more contracts you fulfilled the more my curiosity grew."
"Eventually I began attempting to talk to you and get to know you, at the time I just assured myself it was out of curiosity. By the time you were ready to kill the Emperor's cousin I was mesmerized. By then Arnbjorn and I had already grown apart, but I dared not tell you my feelings because it would go against Nord tradition. When you revived me I had to adjust, but eventually I got over my losses. By then I was just too afraid to tell you. I just kept bottling it up, and here we are."
Slowly I wrap my arms around her and embrace her firmly and say, "I wish you would've told me before now, but I suppose there's no harm done." After a few moments she brings her arms up and loosely hugs me back. "Astrid." I say, after a few moments of silence she says "Yes?" Turning her around so she's facing me I tell her, "I want to try, I swear on my honor that even if it doesn't work we'll always be friends. There won't be anyone to judge if you're going against Nord tradition. But first things first, I want us to go home. This place is a living nightmare, and I miss the sight of Solitude." Smiling Astrid says "I think I'd like that." And once again she's leaning forward.
I'm awoken from my nap by our carriage abruptly stopping, and Astrid's sleeping body being flung into mine. Rubbing my eyes I notice night has fallen, and at once roll my eyes as far back as they can go. At once I hear the disgusting squishing sound of my eyes sliding backward, and my night vision kicks in and I'm able to see as clear as day. Rousing Astrid I pay the carriage driver, hop down, and offer Astrid my hand. As we walk towards Solitude Nanook runs off, no doubt to explore.
"When will the horses arrive?" She ask as she takes my hand. "Your horse will be here in roughly a week, if the courier knows how to ride properly. My horses will just stay at the stables, no doubt for a torturous life of growing fat and never working. Shadowmere will arrive when it pleases him, maybe today or maybe in a year."
Suddenly a noise catches my attention, the sound of The Burning of a False King. Grasping Astrid's hand I say "Ever been to The Burning of King Olaf?" When she shakes her head no I smile and begin guiding us towards the festival. Once we arrive outside the Bards College I release Astrid, and I quickly purchase us some meat pies, candy, and spiced wine.
As I hand Astrid her food she looks suspiciously at the wine in my hand. Sighing I ask her, "Just for one night? One bottle couldn't hurt, it's the only thing Nords drink." Rolling her eyes at my comment about Nords she answers, "I suppose...Honestly I think you could handle adding it back into your daily life. Just...don't go overboard." Nodding I use my claw to pop open the wine bottle, and proceed to take a generous swig. Surprisingly the first swig in about a year is easy, and the ones after that are as smooth as milk.
Throwing away the empty bottle I quickly find an open bench and sit, and Astrid follows suit. The pies have a strong, tangy, earthy taste that screams Saber Tooth Cat, Mammoth, and Fox. Honestly it wouldn't surprise me if they were made up of the last three weeks left over pies. While the pie is adequate for Astrid and me I see a few guest push theirs away with disgusted looks. I happily bite into my taffy while Astrid does the same, my natural sweet tooth taking over.
After the snacks are done I push myself up and offer Astrid my hand, and once she takes it I pull her up and guide her over to the giant replica of Kind Olaf. As we watch the king burn the bards begin raising their voices, they've already sung about the one eyed king at least five times so they decide to take a different path. Singing some cliche song about two lovers, Joldi and Kiseena, it's about as close to a romantic song as they're going to get. By the wicked grin on Astrid's face I doubt the bards decided to play the song by themselves. Offering her my hand she takes it, and I pull her into an awkward dance I remember watching Vilkas and Ria do.
"On the throne of many hues, Immortal Mara,
child of Akatosh, weaving wiles-I beg you
not to subdue my spirit, Queen,
with pain or sorrow,"
Astrid slowly adjust my style, and eventually we fall into an easy dance with her in the lead.
"but come-if ever before
having heard my voice from far away
you listened, and leaving your father's
golden home you came,"
A few of our fellow dancers are giving us strange looks, no doubt remembering the past. Ignoring them I focus on Astrid, and for once the dancing seems enjoyable.
"in your chariot yoked with swift, lovely
sparrows bringing you over the dark earth
thick-feathered wings swirling down
from the sky through mid-air,"
It's only now I remember who exactly the lovers are in this song, it's one of the three love songs I know that sings about homosexual lovers. And to my knowledge the only one about women, Astrid must see it click together in my eyes because her smile grows bigger.
"arriving quickly-you, Blessed One,
with a smile on your unaging face
asking again what have I suffered
and why am I calling again,"
Even with the small crowd watching Astrid readjust her hands and pulls me closer, until our friendly tango turns into a "dance for sweethearts" as Lenka would say.
"and in my wild heart what did I most wish
to happen to me: "Again whom must I persuade
back into the harness of your love?
Kiseena, who wrongs you?"
By now everyone's seen us dancing, and I've no doubt a few storekeepers will find us juicy gossip. Pushing those thoughts out of my head I focus on Astrid's eyes.
"For if she flees, soon she'll pursue,
she doesn't accept gifts, but she'll give,
if not now loving, soon she'll love
even against her will."
It's only now that I'm older I understand the lyrics, and find them a little odd. Suddenly Astrid pulls me closer and escalates our dance into a lovers waltz.
"Come to me now again, release me from
this pain, everything my spirit longs
to have fulfilled, fulfill, and you
be my ally."
As the bards finish their song Astrid somehow manages to pull me even closer, and in front of half the city locks her lips with mine. Ignoring the murmurs and gasp I get lost in Astrid's kiss.