Disclaimer: I do not own the Fate franchise it belongs to Kinoko Nasu and Type-Moon.

Different Fates

Chapter 34

"Strong eyes…I remember the little girl with those eyes ten years ago. They're still the same: afraid, but trying not to be. Tell me child, are you afraid?"

Gilgamesh kept his eyes on Sakura's one, the young woman struggling not to flinch or break the gaze. She swallowed dryly, and licked her lips before answering. "Even if I were a sorceress…" she said. "…I would struggle against the likes of you."

"Is that so?" Gilgamesh said with an amused tone. "So are you afraid or not?"

The seconds ticked by, stretching out like thick caramel and then finally Sakura broke the King's stare, looking away with veiled shame. "Yes…" she whispered. "…I am afraid."

"Indeed…" Gilgamesh said. "…you fear me. You fear defeat, and with it the loss of everything you have achieved until now, and what you may yet achieve. You fear death. You fear failing to repay that which you owe to others…there are many things you fear and yet you admit to it. Such is worthy of praise."

Sakura glanced back at Gilgamesh who smiled at her. "Bravery is not the absence of fear…" he said. "…to be brave is to overcome it."

The smile faded and he looked sternly at Archer. "You claim to be a tool do you not?" he asked but did not wait for answer. "Be as useful as you can be then faker. To be a means to an end, even if it is to bring a rebel to where she is worthy of the King's own judgment, is all you are useful for."

Archer narrowed his eyes at Gilgamesh, who scoffed before looking away. "Impudent…" he sneered. "…if not for Rider's truce of parley, you would deserve a dog's death."

"I take it you're satisfied with young Tohsaka and her Servant then?" Rider ventured, and Gilgamesh snorted.

"To an extent…" he said, and Rider shrugged.

"Well then let us move on…" he said. "…Saber would you care to put forth your desire?"

"You already know King of Conquerors." Saber replied. "But for the sake of those who were not present during our previous meeting ten years ago, it is thus: I would use its power to redo the Selection of the King, and see that another more worthy of the throne be chosen."

Silence fell, dead utter silence. And then Gilgamesh sighed. "Ten years ago…" he said. "…it was worthy of laughter. Now lioness, it is nothing but a jape in poor taste."

"Why is it laughable? Why is it a jape?" Saber hissed. "Ten years ago you said as much to the same effect, and I still do not understand. No, I understand why you would oppose it, what I do not understand is how you consider yourself Kings when you destroyed your Kingdoms for your own sake!"

"And as I told you ten years ago…" Rider answered grimly. "…it is not the King who should sacrifice himself for his Kingdom, but the Kingdom which is sacrificed for its King. Tyranny it is yes, but only a tyrant is worthy of being a great king, be it for good or ill! Even figureheads understand this! Even they who lack vision and drive would cling to their thrones, sacrificing the glory of their realms for mediocrity in the hopes that someday, glory would return! They would not think of abandoning responsibility in the interest of fairness and justice! Indeed, where is fairness and justice when you run from responsibility?"

"Run from responsibility?" Saber echoed, getting to her feet in rage. "You…you accuse me of running from responsibility? That is too much even for you King of Conquerors!"

"Is it?" Rider asked back. "My Kingdom is gone, vanished into the sands of history. Some would say that I had a role in its destruction, with my failure to clarify the matter of succession, and failing to strengthen its interior. Yet you would not see me trying to change fate and correct that. No, I stand by my mistakes, and acknowledge my realm's loss as a result of my own folly. Anything less would shame those who stood by me to the end, those who fought and died in my name, and those who still answer my call beyond death! What of you King of Knights? Does the loyalty of those who stood by you to the bitter end and those who died in your name mean nothing at all?"

"By attempting to change fate…" Rider continued as Saber staggered back. "…by trying to push responsibility for Britain onto another, you belittle their loyalty, and run from the responsibility that your failed dream places on your shoulders."

Saber clenched her fists and ground her teeth. "The King…" she whispered. "…the King…stands alone…"

"So loyalty counts for nothing…?"

None of us…ever regretted…serving under you…

Saber shook her head, Lancelot's last words from ten years ago echoing in her mind. "No…" she said. "…their loyalty…was all I had in the end. But that is why I must do this. They deserve better…better than me…better than the ruin of that day and what came after…"

Rider shook his head in disappointment, while Gilgamesh smirked. And then Berserker slammed her cup on the ground. "Have you gone insane, father?" she asked.

"What?"

"I asked you…" Berserker snarled, also getting to her feet. "…have you gone insane?"

"Humph…" Saber scoffed coldly. "…a Berserker asking me if I'm insane? What's the world coming to?"

"Have you even considered the fact that if you do not become King, the most likely to take your throne is your half-sister?"

Saber's eyes widened and then narrowed. "And…?" she asked. "Doesn't that work out for you, your mother as…?"

"SHE WAS NO MOTHER OF MINE!" Berserker roared. "I WAS JUST A TOOL FOR HER…A MEANS TO GET REVENGE…SHE WOULD…I…I would have killed her the moment I returned to Camelot in triumph."

"Kin-slaying…?" Lancer echoed. "Kin-slaying in addition to treason…? How admirable…"

Berserker threw a look of contempt at Lancer before turning back to Saber. "You still don't get it do you?" she asked. "You're still the same from back then. You're still the same King who looked far away to a place and time only he could see, inscrutable and untouchable to any other. And you know what? That's the whole point! You were so pure, so pristine so…perfect and unreachable that people stopped seeing you as the King!"

"And pray tell what is wrong with that?" Gilgamesh put in. "Such purity of purpose to a dream she could not share to others, that it made her a pure and perfect figure in the eyes of lesser men…that is something to be praised."

Berserker and Saber alike looked revolted at the thought, though for different reasons. Berserker found such…sterile kingship repulsive, it being the reason for her rebellion, albeit with a personal twist.

All I ever wanted…was for you…

Saber though found it repulsive to have the King of Heroes on her side.

The very thought of his approval turns my stomach.

Rider though looked troubled. "A King must be greedier, happier, and angrier than everyone else." He reiterated. "He is everything that people want to be, be it good or ill. That is the reason why all love and envy him, because only he can inspire and lead his people to greater heights, be it to be just like him or to avoid his mistakes!"

Gilgamesh smiled. "Do not misunderstand Rider." He said. "I agree that the King's role is to be a figure of absolute loyalty and inspiration to those who follow, even if we must disagree that he ultimately does not need others. He is alone. On that we must agree to disagree."

"But…?"

"Yes…" Gilgamesh said before turning back to Saber. "…the purity and perfection Saber dreams of and embodies to the point of self-destruction…that is something to be admired. Her desire to throw it all away because it was revealed to be false though: it is laughable."

Saber snarled, but was cut off when Rider addressed Berserker. "And you Berserker…?" he asked. "What do you think?"

"I refuse to walk her path!" Berserker spat. "You are right King of Conquerors the King is someone all should look up to as an example to strive to follow. But who would want to walk my father's path? So alone…unable to feel or show compassion or empathy for others…"

"In other words…" Rider concluded. "…why would anyone want to walk a self-denying path that denies all chance of happiness? Would anyone dream of such a fate?"

There was silence, and after several moments Rider sighed. "So Berserker…" he began. "…what is your wish?"

Berserker glanced at him, and then back to Saber. She stared back, two pairs of green staring into each other. "The Sword of Selection…" she said. "…I would wish for a chance to draw it from the stone."

"Do you really think you can succeed?" Saber asked.

"Who knows?" Berserker said with smirk. "But if I do, then perhaps…I will finally…you will finally…"

Saber looked away and shook her head. "I have only always ever treated you as you deserved." She said. "And also…if you draw the sword…you will find that you won't be Human anymore…"

"And that is why you failed." Berserker interrupted with evident disgust, sinking back to the ground. She took her cup and raised it to her lips. "You listen too much to that fool Merlin. In many ways he was no better than Morgana, starting with that worthless piece of advice."

"For once the traitor speaks truth…" Gilgamesh agreed. "…a King who isn't Human cannot rule over Humans. He has no right to begin with, and it is in Humanity's nature to rise against such usurpation."

Saber looked away, and then she too sank back to the ground. "This conversation ended ten years ago." She said. "The outcome is the same as it was back then, so why bother?"

"Yes, how disappointing." Rider said softly. "You're still a little girl dreaming of things that cannot be."

"And what does that say about you, King of Conquerors?" Saber answered coldly. "You who dream of bringing back an age long since passed?"

Rider sighed and shook her head. "Back then…" he said sadly. "…the necessities of war held me back. Not this time…this time, I will do what I must to save you from your ideals."

Gilgamesh's eyes narrowed and flickered towards Rider, but he stayed silent. Rider however now turned to Illya. "And you girl, Berserker's Master?" he asked. "What is your wish?"

Illya looked surprised at being addressed after so long, but after a few moments of fumbling she coughed. "My wish…" she said while looking at the troubled-looking Shirou. The boy had stayed silent during the Kings' exchange, taking it all in but deciding not to butt in. He'd speak to Saber later.

"…I don't need the Grail for it." Illya said. "My family can have it, and they can choke on it for all I care. As long as I can get my onii-chan, then I'm okay."

"Huh?" Shirou fumbled. "M-me…? What do you want me for?"

"Onii-chan is onii-chan, aren't you?" Illya asked back. "We're family. Therefore we should be together."

"I-is that so?"

Illya tilted her head, an unreadable expression on her face. "What's wrong onii-chan?" she asked softly. "Do you hate me?"

Eyebrows rose at that question, while eyes – Sakura and Berserker in particular – turned towards Shirou. He rubbed his head. "No of course not…" he said. "…it's just that…I…I've never had a sister before…or even knew I had one. I mean…I'd like to know you better but…ah this is so hard. What I mean to say is…we shouldn't rush things."

Rider burst out laughing, some of his good mood returning. "Well…" he said. "…I don't have the details but a broken family healing its wounds is something to be celebrated. Still, the boy has a point. Just as you don't rush stitching a wound, you shouldn't rush getting to know each other."

"I can wait." Illya said confidently. "I've waited ten years to meet my brother. It wasn't easy, and honestly I thought from time to time that…he…well stole papa from me and I wanted to hurt him for that but now…"

"But now…?" Sakura pressed.

"I don't think onii-chan's the type of person to do that." Illya said with a small smile. "So I'll be patient, and fix things together with onii-chan. Isn't that right, onii-chan?"

Shirou smiled back and nodded. "Yeah…" he said. "…I'd like that."

The mood across the gathering lightened, but not completely. Sakura, Reines, and Berserker in particular looked deep in thought, brooding over gilded cups of divine wine from the Gate of Babylon. Sakura was in a park under a tree, watching as two little girls played with flowers under the watchful eye of their mother.

Reines was in a corridor of the Clock Tower, watching as a young girl was teased over her modest features, only to be sent scurrying with a word and a scowl from a tall man with long hair. The man left, ignoring the young girl's irritated remark that she hadn't needed help and giving only a simple statement behind him.

You're welcome.

The girl had scoffed, but once the man was out of sight, she couldn't help but smile thankfully to herself.

Berserker stood on a hill, watching as a young girl in black and red ran across the grass. Her beautiful green eyes lacked the viciousness and anger they would later have, and the laughter that echoed through the air as she playfully tumbled down a slope was like water splashing over stones, innocent like a child.

"Another simple wish…" Rider said with a tug at his chin. "…and yet another one that cannot be faulted…a desire for a simple life with a happy family in peace is something worth respecting."

"Wise words…" Reines thought. "…but…"

"That kind of thing…" Sakura thought at the same time. "…isn't something to be granted by wishes."

"If people don't earn something like that…" Berserker concluded, all three women thinking the same thing. "…they'd take it for granted, and it'll vanish like the dawn mist with the rising of the Sun."

"And now the final Master present…" Rider said. "…Saber's Master, Shirou Emiya: what is your wish?"

Shirou was silent for a moment, and then he sighed. "I don't have any use for the Grail." He said. "To be honest, the whole idea of wish-granting seems fishy to me. Because if you don't really earn what you get, would you really value it? Although…"

"Go on boy, we won't bite."

"The wishes we heard tonight aren't the kind of wishes that can be dismissed like that." Shirou said. "To be honest it makes me feel relieved: the Masters and Servants aren't shallow and thoughtless people."

"Should I feel flattered?" Anika asked.

"I choose to take it as a compliment, baroness." Reines replied with a smile, and Sakura chuckled.

"It's the same here." she said, and Bazett nodded in agreement, apparently having regained her composure.

"Rider-san…" Shirou continued. "…I can't agree with your wish in principle, because no matter how I see it, it'll just throw the world in chaos. But…I can respect your wish not as an end in itself. Tohsaka-san…um, Reines-sama…you want the Grail either to use it to advance your magecraft or your family's, and I think the same could be said for Illya. I…"

"You don't trust us with it." Sakura concluded.

"Absolute power corrupts absolutely…" Reines quoted. "…between this and what you said, earlier I think I'm seeing a conclusion here. And I don't like it."

"The girl has a point." Gilgamesh said with his eyes fixed viper-like on Shirou Emiya. To his credit the boy didn't flinch, instead actually daring to meet the King of Heroes' gaze. "Enough playing with words…get to the point faker boy. If you have no wish, then why do you fight in this war?"

"Calm down King of Heroes." Rider said soothingly. "Let him say his piece, every man deserves that much."

"Shirou…" Saber said with her eyes turned worriedly on him. "…could you be…?"

"I fight to make sure someone who can't be trusted doesn't win the Grail."

Reines immediately raised an eyebrow, which then turned into a sneer. "And pray tell…" she snarled. "…who are you to judge?"

"The Grail is too powerful for it to be used exclusively by a single person or family." Shirou said resolutely. "And wishes like Rider-san's which would throw the world into chaos…"

"This is all very well and good…" Sakura interrupted. "…but just like Lady Archisorte said: who are you to judge? Also, assuming you make it to the end and end up facing an enemy you cannot defeat, would you follow in your father's footsteps? Would you take up the torch, and burn half the city by destroying the Grail's vessel just so to deny it to someone you don't approve of?"

"Don't put words in my mouth!" Shirou said angrily. "I never…"

"I'm not putting words in your mouth." Sakura interrupted. "It's a perfectly-reasonable assumption to make, considering you've apparently made it your mission to make sure someone you don't approve of gets hold of the Grail. After all, victory isn't simply about defeating your enemy. Just 'not losing' also counts as a victory."

"Shirou…" Saber began coldly. "…let me make this clear. I trust you. I gave you my word when I became your Servant to entrust my fate in your hands, and to become your sword. But you also have obligations to me, and that includes the fact that this agreement was for us to share the blessings of the Grail together. If you would seek to destroy the Grail to fulfil your ideal of being a 'Hero of Justice' I am warning you, I will not be taken by shock and surprise this time. I will cut you down before you can activate enough command spells to betray me just like your father did."

Shirou stared at Saber with a mix of shock and betrayal, which turned to steely determination that matched her own. "Do I make myself clear, Shirou?" she asked.

"Yes…" he said. "…but we need to talk. Later…in private…"

"I am at your disposal, Master."

"Ah…" Gilgamesh began as Saber broke her gaze from her Master. "…and the night started out so well. But now it's ruined as a pretender of a hero dares to assume he has the right to judge who is worthy."

"Humph…" Berserker snorted. "…I can guess who he finds worthy based on his drivel from earlier about selflessly helping people or what not. Lancer's Master, isn't it boy?"

"She's the only one here who'd use the Grail for something other than her own ambitions." Shirou retorted back, and Anika snorted.

"Logical fallacy…" the baroness said. "…ambition is defined as the desire to accomplish a specific goal. Enforcer McRemitz desires to save Lancer from his fate. Therefore she would still use the Grail for her ambitions."

Shirou looked furious at such a play of words, though Gilgamesh burst with peals of laughter. "Oh…normally I dislike such plays of words…" he said with glee. "…but that was very well done."

Anika smiled and bowed, while Sakura turned to Shirou. "Emiya…" she began. "…I…I owe you my life. But…please don't insult me by asking me to give up in exchange for that life debt."

She paused and touched the medal pinned to her chest, having worn it tonight for the occasion. "I'm nothing like the Knights of the Round of legend…" she said. "…but I too am a knight, with obligations to my liege lady from the Hohenzollern family.

"But…"

"There's nothing wrong with helping people." Sakura interrupted with a sigh and a smile. "But there's a line between helping people, and simply being a…busybody for lack of a better word. Everyone here, including the ones you find unworthy to hold the Grail, knows responsibility. If you expect people to respect your dreams and ideals, then you should also respect others' dreams and ideals. Please, don't make me choose between my oaths as a knight and my life debt to you. If you do that…then…"

Shirou sighed, deflating as the anger went out of him. "You're making this very hard, Tohsaka-san." He said wearily. "I might be a busybody as you say, but can I really be so irresponsible…"

"Let he who has no sin cast the first stone." Bazett interrupted, pinching her nose as the alcohol began to take its toll. "Shirou Emiya, don't judge. You're not qualified for it."

"Also…" Archer said. "…given that you seem to worship your father's memory, it's not unreasonable to assume that you gained these asinine ideals from him."

"Hey, hey…" Rider began. "…isn't that going too far?"

"It's something that needs to be said." Archer replied. "Keep in mind Shirou Emiya, that Kiritsugu Emiya was known as the Magus Killer. He was a man who killed tens to save hundreds, hundreds to save thousands, and thousands to save hundreds of thousands. That is the true face of the man you look up to, the man who inspired you to walk the path of justice."

"What are you saying?" Shirou asked softly, unable to meet Archer's eyes.

"I'm saying that if you insist on walking this path…" Archer said. "…then you must be prepared to accept the fact that reality and the ideal are not one and the same. And if you cannot, then you should give it up, or you will only end up hurting yourself, your friends and loved ones, and perhaps even lose everything…including the very ideal which you hold dear here and now."

"You don't know that." Shirou ground out, but the anger behind it was hollow. Because what Archer said about his father, it made sense.

Saving someone's life…means not saving someone else's life…

"Tens to save hundreds, hundreds to save thousands, and thousand to save hundreds of thousands…" Archer's words echoed in Shirou's head. "…dad…did you really…could you really…where's the justice? What's the point if you couldn't save everyone? Everyone deserves salvation…don't they? Don't they? Dad…dad…dad…DAD, ANSWER ME!"

"Don't I…?" Archer said with a bitter smile. Something about his tone and expression felt off, and Sakura and Anika's eyes flashed in suspicion towards him and then towards each other.

There's more to this than meets the eye.

"Ah…" Rider lamented. "…it seems that just like ten years ago, no consensus could be reached, only more division. Still, I suppose it wasn't for nothing. At the very least, a modicum of respect among the participants has been won, or at least I hope so. If so, then the effort wasn't wasted."

"I certainly hope not." Gilgamesh remarked. "I gave good wine tonight."

"Ha!" Rider barked. "That's true. Then for the final question of the night: not all Servants present are kings, but all are heroes. And the same goes for those who stand by me even beyond death itself. Based on that, let me ask of you: do heroes stand alone?"

"Again Rider…?" Saber said. "Kings…and heroes, stand alone."

Gilgamesh smirked, though it was bitterer than the one he gave ten years ago. Lancer smirked, while Berserker and Archer gave shrugs. Rider closed his eyes and nodded. "I see…" he said, raising his cup in a toast. "…then I hope that in time, I'll be able to show you that heroes do not stand alone, any more than kings do. With that, this gathering is at an end, so go in peace my friends!"

Thunder boomed as Rider and his Master rode back up into the sky, a golden shimmer marking the passing of Gilgamesh. Elsewhere Sakura, Anika, Bazett, and their Servants strode off with the former two chatting to each in hushed German.

Gilgamesh had not left without parting words, though not to all. He'd ignored Illya and Berserker, as well as Lancer and Bazett.

"I look forward to your challenge King of Conquerors." He had said to the Macedonian giant as they had left the castle.

"Just be sure to still have wine to toast things off beforehand." The giant had responded to their shared laughter.

"Friends are a valuable thing. They're not indispensible, but once you lose them, they are irreplaceable." He had told Sakura and Anika. Given his history, the two girls merely bowed in awed response, the King of Heroes turning to speak with Saber.

"Don't let the King of Conquerors or that traitor get to you, lioness." He had told her. "Even if I find your desire laughable, you and your dream remain admirable to me, so keep your spirit. And of course, consider my proposal. I will not wait for much longer, lioness."

Saber was furious at whatever 'proposal' meant, though Illya had a slight inkling what it meant. "Ah…there they go…" the little girl said, watching as Rider rode back up into the sky. "…well onii-chan? Do you want to make an alliance with me yet?"

Shirou looked at her and sighed, and Illya sighed as well. "Alright…" she said. "…think on it some more, but not too long okay?"

Shirou nodded and looked to Saber. "I'll think about it." He promised. "But before that…"

He trailed off but Illya nodded with understanding. "I understand." She said. "Fix things up with Saber first, allies are no good if they don't understand each other."

Shirou nodded again, and then paused. Illya smiled sadly. "I know what you want to ask onii-chan." She said. "I wish I could say Archer was lying, but…"

"Dad…he really was…"

"Yes." Illya said. "He was an assassin feared across the magical world. Grandfather used to say that…in his prime…despite being a good-for-nothing spell-caster papa was someone whose strength and resolve he could respect. And grandfather fought during the Third Holy Grail War over sixty years ago, and even ten years ago was already head of the Einzbern family. Someone grandfather would respect...it's no joke onii-chan."

Shirou looked sad, and noticing it Illya stepped closer and took his hand. "Don't worry…" she said. "…papa wasn't a bad person. Even if he broke his promise and never came back…the memories when he was with me…papa loved me, just like he loved you. I don't know what changed, why he broke his promise but…for those memories, and for you onii-chan, I'm willing to forgive."

"Thanks…"

"But…" Illya interrupted, her expression turning sad. "…please be careful onii-chan. Because Archer is right, if you walk this path, then you'll lose everything in the end. Just like papa, you won't stop at anything to save people, even if it means sacrificing the people you love. Papa and mama fought in the last war, and mama died there, fighting beside papa."

"Illya…you…"

"Just think about it, alright?"

"Yes…I will…"

A/N

Saber, Rider and Gil going on about kingship, yeah it's just a rehash of Fate/Zero since I'm not presumptuous enough to think that their views on kingship would ever reconcile.