Author's Note: The idea for this chapter came from Mistress Winowyl.

Blame her.

XXX

Sasuke and Sakura were standing in a shrine with a Shinto priest. Only an hour earlier Sasuke had asked Sakura to marry him.

"Oh Sasuke-kun," Sakura spoke with tears in her eyes. "I am so happy that you finally realized that you and I were soul mates and meant to be together. I knew that one day you would realize the depth of my devotion and fall as completely in love with me as I am with you."

"Sakura, you do realize the Hokage is making me do this right? I'm only getting married so that I can have children and continue the Uchiha line."

"That's all right Sasuke-kun I can't wait to give you as many babies as you want. The fact you chose me to be your wife proves that you must love me."

"Hinata and Temari are both taken. I am afraid that Ino would try to possess me and do weird stuff. And after I caught Karin with those handcuffs and gags I figured you were the lesser evil."

"That's so sweet!"

Sighing Sasuke turned to the priest. "Can we hurry up and get this over with? I want to get some training in today."

XXX

On their wedding night Sakura was lying on their bed in a pink camisole with her arms out and legs wide.

"Oh Sasuke-kun! I've been waiting my entire life for this moment. Please take my virginity and fill me with your seed."

"Fine, it's not like there's anything on TV anyway."

XXX

Nine months later the happy couple had their first child. Sakura gave birth to a happy, healthy baby boy.

With pink hair.

"Maybe I should have given Karin a chance after all."

XXX

Sasuke was sitting on the couch as his daughter and two sons were playing. All three children had hair the color of bubble gum. Their father had long since lost track of the jokes from Naruto and others.

His loving wife sat down next to him and wrapped her arms around him and placed her head on his shoulder.

"Oh Sasuke-kun I'm so glad you're finally back from your mission to Iwa. I missed you soooooo much. I'm making you your favorite dinner and I'll be sure to put the kids to bed early so that I can give you all of attention."

"Sakura, you're breaking the rule."

"What? But I'm not talking about shoes or shopping."

"No, the other one, you're touching me."

"But Sasuke-kun, I've missed you. You're my whole life and I just can't bear not to be around you. You're my entire reason for being. Don't you miss me too when you're away."

"No."

"Not even a little?"

"I enjoy the peace and quiet."

"Peace and quiet? I heard there was mass rioting in Iwa while you were there."

"Exactly."

XXX

"Do you like it Sasuke-kun? It's a plushy of you, me, and our five children in a little model of our house. I made it all by hand. I was thinking of you the entire time and about how ideal and perfect our lives are and about how much I love and need you."

"Uhm, Sakura?"

"Yes Sasuke-kun?"

"Everything is life size."

"Well I had a lot of time on my hands. A woman in love can do anything."

Sasuke began walking away from her.

"Where are you going?"

"Over to Naruto's. I need to drink."

"Wait Sasuke-kun! At least let me give you a tour first."

XXX

Sakura was busy knitting something for the youngest of her eight pink haired children. Sasuke walked up to her with a grim look on his face.

"Sakura, we need to talk."

"What is it Sasuke-kun?"

"Sakura...I slept with Ino."

"You and everyone else in Konoha...including Anko, if rumor serves correct."

He stared at her, not believing the nonchalant way she had just accepted his confession. "Wait, aren't you upset?"

"Why would I be? I understand. You probably just did it to help repopulate the Uchiha clan."

"No, I did it to break up with you."

"Why would you do that? We're so happy together."

He smacked his palm to his face.

"So what would you like for dinner Sasuke-kun?"

"I'd stab you again but you'd probably see it as a sign of affection." He walked away from her.

"So rice balls?"

XXX

Naruto had gathered all the elite ninja of Konoha together in his office.

"I've brought you here because I need to ask for a volunteer for a vital S-rank mission. I am going to honest with all of you, it's a suicide run. Whoever goes has almost zero chance of surviving. I know…"

"Me!" The Hokage could get no further before Uchiha Sasuke had pushed his way to the front of the room. "For the love of kami let me go!"

Naruto stared at him in surprise. "Are you sure Sasuke? I know you're a great ninja, but even for you there's not much hope for survival."

"Hey, you owe me one Naruto!"

XXX

At the funeral a month later Sakura and many others were weeping uncontrollably.

Sasuke had, had a tombstone prepared before setting out. It read:

Sakura, for the last time, you're annoying.