AN: Much apologies for such a huge delay in my update. I'll spare the details, but I've had a lot on my mind but the worst of it is over. Unfortunately, considering I get only 4 hours of sleep on a good night, which I think pretty accurately depicts how busy I am, I cannot respond to all of you lovely people and your amazing reviews after this. But, if ever you all would like to talk (discuss book, etc…), just send me a P.M. Maybe when things settle down more, I will be able to, but at present time, it would be best if I put that on hold, so I can use that hour or so that I normally spend responding to everyone to write away so I can update faster for everyone's convenience. Anyway… I know some of you all have been asking about Zane. And, after not being able to figure out where to post pictures, I have created a myspace for the guy that I feel might be somewhat close. He's not an exact match, but I have really spent hours upon hours trying to find someone that could fit the role, and he's the best I've got. I posted a link on my author's profile if you guys want to check it out. Well… I really could babble on endlessly, but I think I'll spare all of that and get to what we're all really here for… : - )

Bright Green Eyes: Aww… glad to hear it! Yeah, but as funny as it seems, I don't trust myself with that sort of genre, and I'm sure you guys have a better imagination than what I could muster about in that department. My knowledge dwindles on nothing.

-Emmleelicious-: Wow. It still baffles me how you guys can sit down for that long for this book. I mean, I do it for Harry Potter and Stephenie Meyer's books, but for me? Haha. Well, thanks for that kinda dedication. I commend you greatly, and you get a brownie for that. Thanks for the sweet review too!! Sweets for the sweet, as Gertrude might say. ;p

Amanda: Yup… virtual cookies are pretty dang awesome. Here's some more! P Aww… well, can't saw no to the puppy face. I updated as soon as I could and, with the 3 day weekend, it was the perfect opportunity.

Danamarin: Yeah… I like to sway towards the dramatics once in awhile. Muahaha… I was able to trick some children in believing something was wrong that time. Well… something is bound to be soon enough, I'm sure, but for now… the happy pappy stuff sounded nice to do. I'm sure you all agree. Thanks for the review and the smilie! I give you a cookie and a smilie in return!!! B-D

Alexandra Stone: Yup… we should definitely start a smiley club!!!!: D : D : D : D : D : D : D Sorry for the long wait. I really drew that one out. My oh my. Actually, I was planning to end the story at the transformation, but I realized there were many moments left that I still wanted to cover so there will probably be at least ten chapters left. But that's just a rough estimate. It might change over time.

MysteriousMidnightVampiress: Haha. By golly gee whiz! Your reviews continue to entertain me greatly. You deserve a reward. Of course you have continual entrance into my cyber bakery of internet goodies, with unlimited access to my virtual cookies, and plenty of smiley faces. D D D Keep on staying awesome.

Noelle: I'm not exactly sure what it is about your e-mail that intrigues me. It just seems like something that should be the name of some new band, and I can picture that being their single. And yes, now that I have made myself seem rather ridiculous, I'll leave on the note of a happy face. )

Peyton818: Completely understandable about being busy. I just finished up my semester out here, and it's definitely been a handful. Needless to say sleep deprivation is a huge element of my life right now. But glad to hear from you now. It's always nice to hear from someone new. You get a virtual cookie!

Emilie Whoa: Aww… I am glad to hear that you appreciate that decision of mine. I really did not want to ruin the taste of my story by bringing it to the next level, you know? It is rated T after all for a reason. And I doubt moving it up one level would really be something that Stephenie would do, and I wanted to stay pretty true to her. But yes… very glad that you thought that was a good decision. -

Countess Jackman: Haha… you are just plain awesome! Yeah… it took me awhile to figure out how each parent would react. And I know from personal experience that often parents react very oddly to very odd situations, as I learned last night in regards to a major crisis that my parents handled, surprisingly, with a much ease as Renee did. Well, I did not enjoy putting this story on hold for awhile as I spent most of my time between my updates keeping my grades up for the semester. And now I can happily say I got my straight A's senior year for first semester. It's a nice breath of relief. But yes… now a three-day weekend is ahead of me and, although I must depart in a few hours for mock trial, I will hopefully finish this update today.

MyBrandOfHeroin: Aww… thank you for the compliments. They were very sweet.

Ridiculouskopec: Thanks so much for enjoying this. I am glad you enjoyed those quotes. You always seem to find some of my favorites in the chapter. And my oh my… "all that jazz"? I always use that friends with my friends! Very similar tastes, and I must give you some cookies for that!!

Silvershadowkittie: Nope, this story is far from over. I am very glad to hear from someone new. And it's great to hear that you like the story. I have about ten chapters or so left, considering there's many questions in my head I still want to answer, and I'm having far too much fun to stop now. ;p

Lena Bergel: You're quite welcome for the cookies. I do believe you deserve some more, actually. ;p Yeah… it was nice not to have Edward mad and for me to think of some way to resolve it. I do feel those poor dears have had too much of that going on for them, and it as nice for a bit of a change.

AnAerialView: Aww… thanks for those kind words. It is always great to hear that readers like what I'm coming up with. I hope you enjoy what is coming up now.

1stepbehind29: Wow… that is definitely an odd coincidence, but very cool nonetheless. Kudos and cookies for that. I remember when that song first came out. My friend and I were upset with that the summer of before my junior year, and we would always blast that song whenever we were together and dance to it. Just some random info, but I have a tendency to go on tangents. ;p

Likeadoll: Aw… thanks for the smilie. I always try to make sure the chapters aren't too short for you guys. Plus, Stephenie's chapters are all pretty long as well. But yeah… sorry for not updating sooner. School has been quite demanding, but I can happily say that I survived the first semester with top marks.

Angelalways17: Haha. Well, I must say that I share in your joy at poor Edward and Bella finally getting some alone time. I felt they were suffering enough with having to wait for so dreadfully long with everything, and it was about time that was resolved. P

Pinkfroggy: "Luffles"? That had me smiling. Very nice word choice there. You are very sweet, and I think you deserve some virtual cookies for being cool like that!

Delirium24: Oh my… I do hope you don't die of starvation!!! You deserve a suitcase of cookies for your efforts. Perhaps I should provide some virtual sweets to make your stay more comfortable. ;P And yeah… I really wanted to avoid more angst since they have already had their fair share of it as of late. But yeah… very glad to hear that you enjoyed this. And you have many virtual cookies at your hand for being patient.

I-love-twilight-and-paramore: First I feel like I should answer your question about the phone. It had me laughing, no doubt, but the phone I was referring to was downstairs. Charlie called Renee downstairs, and when he called for her, Bella took the stairs to go downstairs to talk to Renee on the phone that Charlie had been on, not up to the snow-covered roof to talk to her mom. And about the "gift (power)"… I haven't mentioned it quite yet. I had Edward explain why Bella probably does not notice the scent of human blood, but the other aspects of her vampire form I did not really touch upon, and left it for me to answer later on. Well, hope your soda consumption goes well. Actually, I'm kinda like that with my sleep. This year I've suffered from major sleep deprivation (and no doubt insomnia), and yet whenever I don't sleep I am off the ways vs. when I do sleep and I become some odd zombie. But I'm a backwards person, to say the least. ;p Anyways… just a bit of off-topic randomness for you right there. Thanks for the long review, which added to your 1200 seconds…

TwilightTunes: Haha. Well, Zane's story comes with the companion that will be out when I'm done writing this story first. Don't want to double up with stories, especially when Zane still has his part in this one, considering the companion takes up where this story leaves off, only with Zane as the focal point. But… I did spent countless hours trying in what seemed to be a futile manner to find some actor/model/etc that fit my picture of Zane in my head. Although I never found an exact match, the closest one I found was Milo Ventimiglia. You can go to my author profile, and I have a link to a myspace I created that hosts the pictures that I found looked relatively close to the image of Zane.

Padfootrules3: Aw… thanks. Sorry for the long wait. Hope it was worth it though and that you enjoy what I've got coming up!!!

Mountain Lions taste good: Oh… well, sorry for making the story a bit slow. It was more difficult than I thought to sum up everything, and I have no idea how long it'll take me. But I am glad that you think it was good that I left it up to the imagination. And kudos for studying mythology right now! I love that subject. It is quite fascinating. D

Theloserhobbs: Haha. Yeah… I am glad at the turn of events. But the story still has a bit more before it is completely finished. I hope you enjoy the rest that is to come. D

StephyyAnne: Yeah… has been having some problems with those alerts and everything as of late. I kept checking my e-mail, and I was getting no alerts for some of my favorite stories, and then no reviews, and I was like… hmmm… was it really that bad? And then all of a sudden, I am hit hard with everything I missed at once. But I'm glad it's back to normal, or at least as normal as it gets. Haha. Yeah… Zane's story will be coming after this one. Actually, like I said in my AN, I posted a link to some pics I found of an actor who sort of fit the picture I had of Zane in my head. I've spent so long trying to find someone and it was harder than I thought. No one seemed to fit! But this guy is the closest I've found by far. If you have any suggestions though, feel free to send them my way, considering I can't seem to find any right actors/models/etc…

PhoenixMage: Thanks!!!!

Dare to Love: Aww… hope my update doesn't disappoint. Cool name too, by the way!

ScatterdParchment: Yeah, I understand where you're coming from about that whole section. But I don't feel like I could ever make it up to par, and I'm not exactly sure how to write something like that. Plus, I'm sure your guys' imaginations could come up with something better than I could in that department. ;p But, if ever I do pursue something of the M sort, I will definitely send word your way!!

Emmy73: Yeah, I understand where you're coming from. I'll try to explain myself as best as I can though. The propping up thing was to explain how he's propping himself up to talk to Bella. Regardless if she's a vampire or so, I would imagine having someone lying on top of you would make it rather difficult to hold a conversation with them on top of your chest. And about the reminders… in this story I'm having Bella' transformation a bit off the wall, to say the least. And at this point, she's very overwhelmed by everything. She's still trying to piece together memories that she's forgotten, she still has Charlie to worry about, the fact that Zane is God knows where, and she is not exactly in-tune to her vampire form, thus she did not even notice that she couldn't even smell Charlie, and Edward was the one that had to bring it up and enlighten her. And, even though things with Renee went well and her and Edward are on good terms, she is still overwhelmed and it's taking awhile for everything to still seep in. Does that make even the most remote sense? Sorry if it doesn't and it contradicts everything. I'm human after all. ;p

InLoveWithEdward: Aww… thanks so much for your nice words. It is very nice and sweet, and I love the smiley faces!!! D I do hope that my story does not disappoint as it continues, and I hope that you enjoy what is coming up.

Lose-your-voice: Haha. Yeah… just thought I would have a bit of fun with the marriage departmente. That's one aspect that I haven't changed in my little outline in my head. ;p Hope you enjoy what's coming up!! Thanks very much for the review! And yes, that built-in-radar is quite handy!!!

Belle07: Haha. Yeah… Zane has really grown on me during the writing of this story. I hadn't intended for him in the beginning to grow to become like this, but it just kinda happened. But I'm glad it did. I'll be writing a companion novel with him as the focal point, and I just installed a link to some pics of someone that kinda fits my picture of him on my author's profile. But yes… thanks very much for the review!!

Kelly: So sorry for the wait. School has been quite a handful with everything, but it is at its first semester end, and I am relieved to say that it went very well indeed. And now, with a three-day weekend ahead of me, I am updating so you guys don't wait forever, considering, unlike Bella and Edward, we don't have forever. ;p Hope it was worth the wait!

Leilalolalove: Aww… it is very much a relief that you guys are liking the fact that I ended it there. The M stuff is reserved for that section, and it's not exactly something I choose to write about. But yes… thanks for the fact the you liked that decision of mine. D

Maria: Aw… well, from what I read in your review, your grammar isn't too bad! If ever you do post up your fanfic, send word this way and I'll be more than willing to check it out! Thanks for the review and the sweet words!!!

XXxDeadOnexXx: Thanks for taking the time to read this! Hope your stories come along nicely! Yeah… I was going to start another, but I feel I couldn't do two at once, so I'm just sticking with this one for now. Thanks very much for the review! You rock pretty dang nicely as well!!!

Fpcj: Haha. Yeah… poor dears. It was about time they got to it, like they deserved. ;p

Fairychik11: Aw. Thank you. :D

LostInTears: Yeah…. Poor fellow indeed. Well, that's why I'm making a companion after this story. About time that boy got some loving as well. ;)

Mediatorgrrl: Nice to hear that you liked the PG status stuff right there. And it's great to hear that you enjoyed what I got. That made me smile. Really. Truly. It did. And I thank you much for that, and award you cybertronic (not even a word, but I care not) candy!!!

Xabsolutionx: Aw… it's so refreshing to hear new voices! I'm always glad to hear that you guys like what I'm coming up with. Sorry for the delay in my updating. Hopefully I can post more often, or at least in a shorter span than my latest update.

Meg: My oh my… I must say that your review was very encouraging and put a smile on my face. It is odd, I must admit, to be writing a sequel to Twilight, when the actual sequel is always out. At the time I began this, it wasn't, but now that I had devoured the second novel, it is… hmmm… an indescribable sensation. Wow. I do apologize, I seem to be at a loss of words. Anyway… thank you for your sweet review. Hopefully I might here from you again. I am glad that I have myself a fan. :-D

Jenny: Thank you very much for your compliments. Your dedication makes this whole process worth it, and I hope that you continue to enjoy what I end up with. I love the smiley faces. I am a complete sucker for them, as I am sure most can attest to at present time. B-D

37. Warmth And Hunger

I never knew that a vampire could feel so warm. It was as if blood was actually coursing through my veins as I lay on my bed, Edward by my side as one of his hands casually plaited a love knot in my hair. It was as if my heart was pounding frantically and might burst through my chest at any given moment. But even I knew that it was dead. Yet, after all that we had come to share, I still felt heat coursing through me. Could love really do that?

"You seem pensive." Edward observed, shifting so that he was propped on one elbow, facing me. "Is something wrong?"

"I'm supposed to be a vampire…"

"Supposed to? I think you already are." Edward chuckled. "I wonder what new thing you will try to persuade me to do, since you got your last wish."

"I can think of a few things." It was bold, and felt odd, but I leaned forward and kissed Edward. "A death wish?"

"If this is not life, then I do not know what is." Edward declared. "I have never felt this alive."

"Neither have I." I admitted, my hands now running through his hair. "You know, try as I might, your hair looks perfect no matter what I do."

"The same could be said about you." Edward smiled, his hand running across my jaw line, making me suck in a breath, taking in his scent. "You seem pleased. I do something different?"

"No, it's just… it seems like I am finally adjusting." I closed my eyes, leaning my cheek into the palm of his hand. "You always smelled good, Edward. But right now…"

"The same could be said about you." Edward moved his hand, and I felt his cheek against my own. "I guess we're each other's brand of heroin now."

"Do I smell the same?"

"Even better."

"Does that mean that you still want a bite out of me?"

"You know, that could be seen in more ways than one."

"Oh?" I giggled, surprised at his response. "I wasn't expecting that. Especially from you."

"There will be no more biting." Edward began to hum my lullaby, and I closed my eyes, enjoying the sound of his voice, and how much more crisp it sounded than before, as every note, every tone, registered in my ears. "I already took a bite out of heaven. I'm not going to be greedy now."

"Edward?" He gave a grunt, his lullaby continuing as I went on. "Do you think I should eat soon?"

"Are you hungry?"

"I don't know if I want to be." I frowned and opened my eyes, trying to get the image of me pouncing on some animal for a kill out of my head. "I never liked blood. Even as a human."

"Kind of ironic that you became a vampire then, huh?"

"Kind of ironic that I fell in love with a vampire as well, huh?"

"And then the less glamorous side of being a vampire appears." Edward sighed and moved so that his legs dangled off the side of my bed. "Bella, I do not know how to make this sound like it is pretty. It's not. But when it comes to the hunt, it's frightening. You give over to a sense that you try to keep under control. I don't know if you feel that sense yet, but it will come. You seem to be taking your time with the whole vampire thing."

"Funny how I became a vampire so quickly, and now everything is going by so slowly." I moved to sit beside him again and clasped his hand. "What if I can't do it? I'm not exactly much of a vampire right now."

"You make a perfect vampire." Edward kissed my forehead. "You made a perfect human." His lips brushed across my cheeks and he chuckled. "But I may be a bit biased."

"Really?" I smiled. "Care to enlighten me about this bias of yours, Mr. Cullen?"

"Well, Mrs. Cullen." Both of our grins widened at that. "I guess love does that to a person… vampire."

Both of our heads turned at the sound of a car pulling in. It was about time my head was cleared enough to begin to notice these things. We heard Charlie's footprints and, as he turned the lock of the front door, I began to notice his heartbeat.

I did not smell his blood. I guess being a human unable to stand the smell of blood had made me a vampire that was completely immune to the scent. But I could feel how the temperature changed from his body heat, how the pounding of his heart suddenly made the time before his arrival seem unnaturally silent.

"Looks like someone has their own built-in-radar system as well." Edward whispered.

"I can't read his mind, if that's what you mean."

"He's wondering about whether he should lie down or go up to see you." Edward explained. "He wants to see you, but he's afraid you might not be here if he comes up."

I had grabbed a robe out of my closet and headed out my room before Edward could say another word. Charlie looked up from where he sat on the couch and gave me a smile.

"Did I wake you up?" Charlie asked. "I didn't mean to, Bells. I must have been noisier than I thought I was."

"No, you were perfectly silent." I couldn't exactly explain to him that I now had developed superhuman hearing, or that he would never have to worry about waking me up again. "I couldn't really sleep, so I settled in a bit. It's odd, being back at home, dad."

"I half expected that I would come home to an empty home." Charlie confessed. "I don't think it would have surprised me if I had."

"I'm sorry about what I did, dad." I felt guilty at how bad I had hurt him, and wished I could explain to him the truth about everything, but I couldn't see how I ever could without him thinking me completely insane. "Everything happened so fast, and it was hard to think. That's such a terrible explanation!" I cursed myself under my breath. "Just know, I don't plan on leaving. At least, not until after graduation and the wedding…"

"You still plan on marrying that boy?"

"I always had." Charlie frowned at my response, obviously displeased. "I'm in love with him, dad. I've never felt this way before about anyone."

"You never really gave yourself a chance to, before him."

"Dad…"

"Bells, you're so young." Charlie wasn't one to talk to me for so long, in such a serious tone, at least without long awkward pauses or some off-the-wall comment to kill time before he thought of something better to say. "I'm not saying this boy is… bad. I'm just saying that you never dated anyone else really. You don't know what else is out there. I don't want you to make a mistake, loving someone so much and have them leave…"

"Edward would never leave me." I interrupted, my tone edgy, but then I saw the look on his face and realized he was referring to his own love. "You and mom weren't a mistake."

"No, it wasn't a mistake." Charlie smiled. "It gave me a beautiful daughter, after all. I just don't want her to end up like her ol' man."

"You're a fine man, dad." It didn't seem like a statement I would say, and yet I did not feel uncomfortable saying it. "Edward and I are responsible. We realize what this means. We know the meaning of forever, maybe better than people who are much older than me." At least, maybe better than people who are much older than me. "I'm not going to put myself in a position that would hurt myself. I'm a smart girl."

"I'm glad I raised a smart girl." Charlie nodded, and gave me a hug. "The squad didn't believe me when I told them. They only started to believe me when I left early today to come home. By now, they've probably called the whole town."

"I wouldn't doubt it." Forks was small enough to have word spread around by now.

"We're going to have to enroll you back in school." I could tell Charlie was making a list in his head of everything that needed to be done. "I'll call this morning. You might not graduate this year though."

"What?" My jaw dropped. "I have to graduate this year! The wedding…"

"Can wait another year." Charlie seemed pleased at that thought. "School comes first, Bells."

"I can make up what I missed. It was only a few months."

"Only a few months? You're a smart girl, Bells, but that's a lot of work to make up. Even for you. And you'll have to deal with the new stuff you're learning, trying to catch up with that."

"It can be done, dad. It's not impossible."

"Just don't get your hopes up too high."

"I'm going to graduate this year." My head was swimming again, as I imagined coming to class, seeing everyone again. Would they see the change in me? "I have to."

Charlie did not respond. Instead, he let out a heavy sigh and seated himself back on the couch. After a few moments of gazing at the ground, he looked back up at me and smiled. I could see his struggle to be firm and to be tender. He opened his mouth to speak and then closed it, looking down again to gather his thoughts.

"I wish I knew the perfect thing to say to everyone, dad, but I don't." I saw his lips form a tight smile. "And I don't expect any perfect statements either."

"You know, Bells, I'm so glad you're home. I love you." Charlie replied. "I just wish I could understand what's going on in your mind right now. It would be easy to skip forty years ahead, when you're safely married and everything's settled."

"You'd be really old." I cringed, knowing I wouldn't be the average 57-year-old. "How about in five?"

"I just wish I could see my little girl as a little girl forever." Again, I cringed, and this time Charlie noticed. "What's wrong, Bells?"

"All this talk makes me realize how much I've changed."

"No matter what, I'll love you."

"I'll love you no matter what, too."

"Just… promise no more disappearances. No more surprises."

"I won't ever leave out of nowhere again." I nodded and let out a fake yawn, hoping that he would notice that and not my lack of acknowledging surprises. "I think I'm actually getting sleepy now."

"Oh, and if you think you aren't grounded…" I stopped at the staircase. "Don't expect much of a social life. I'm keeping my girl with me for the rest of the school year."

"Alright, dad." I smiled at this and continued up the stairs. "Go to sleep soon, too, dad."

As I entered my room, I saw Edward lying perfectly still. He turned his head slightly, opening one eye and smiling at me. My eyes roamed across his body, and I closed my door slowly, never moving my eyes from him.

"It looks like you're ready to eat me alive."

"I think I'm feeling hungry," I admitted.

"Hungry?" Edward struggled between a smile and a frown. "What kind of hungry are we talking about, Bella?"

"A little of both," I confessed. "I wasn't lying to Charlie when I said I was sleepy."

"Come on." Edward directed me to my window as I swerved, my head spinning again, making me unable to focus. "I'll help you down."

"Charlie…" I began, but Edward quickly interrupted me.

"He's already asleep." Edward said. "And, judging from the deep breathing, it sounds like he'll be sleeping soundly. Doesn't seem like Charlie got a lot of sleep since your absence."

"I never meant to… hurt anyone."

"Hurt anyone? We all are guilty of it, Bella, but it all works out." I don't know how Edward did it as I closed my eyes, holding onto him, but we somehow ended up on the ground, outside the house. "Come on, I'll take us somewhere safe to… hunt."

The way he said the last word set the mood for the entire trip. I opened my eyes, focusing on his face. His jaw was firm, his lips set in a thin line, and his brows remained furrowed. Obviously, he was brooding about this trip. I kept my eyes on him and turned my head, placing a kiss on the side of his necks. Edward let out a sigh, but he continued at the same rapid pace, the scenery a blur around us.

When we did come to a halt, there was no sky around us. It was completely dark, but it didn't seem to matter. I could discern the objects around me, could hear the movement and the heartbeats in the distance. Edward placed me on the ground and I kept my hands on his shoulders for support. I still did not feel level-headed, and the feeling in my gut did not disappear.

"You look displeased, Bella." Edward's voice held all the concern in the world. "Are you not ready for this?"

"I can hear everything around me." I answered. "And it seems like my body is moving in that direction. As if I am already chasing after something, though I'm still standing in place. It doesn't make sense at all."

"Yeah, but if anyone knew about our stories, I doubt any of it would make sense to them." Edward's hands moved on my shoulders. "Bella, you have instincts. You might not be… the most normal of vampires, but they're there… somewhere."

"What do I do?" From the look in his face, I saw the uneasiness, and it made my apprehension grow. "Edward, you make it seem like I'm about to commit the world's greatest sin."

"The first time, for me, felt like just that."

His words settled in on me, and I frowned, suddenly fearful of what lay ahead. And then, out of the blue, my head cleared up again and I heard a heartbeat. It was in the distance, but it grew closer towards us. I felt the jerking motion within me to head in that direction. It felt as if my insides were already moving over there, though I knew I stood in place.

And, from the distance, I saw the outline of a deer. Its large eyes looked at me, focusing on me, and yet it advanced. It walked slowly forward, as if in a curious manner. Possibly intrigue. No doubt as mesmerized by me as I had been by Edward the first time I had laid eyes on him.

"That never happens." Edward breathed, his arms moving from my shoulder as he whispered. "Go."

"Go?" I looked at how the deer stared at me as it stopped, ten feet away, and shook my head. "Edward, look at it. It…"

"Bella, give into the feeling." His words were droned in my head, and I felt my world spinning. "You can't deny the feeling. Don't fight it. You're already weak and need this to feel better."

"Edward, I can't."

"You need to eat, Bella."

"I can't do it." The dear tilted its head to the side, and it looked almost human to me now. "You do it. I can't."

I had not expected that he would take my words to heart. In an instant, Edward had pounced, breaking the distance of ten feet with one leap. The deer fell, and I heard the snap, heard the contact of Edward's teeth upon its neck. And yet, the only thing that seemed to register in my head was the look in the deer's eyes, which never left my own, as the life in them slowly drained away into complete blackness.

I had spent my whole life confronting death. As a target for any and all accidents, usually ones that could possibly end fatally, I had stared death in the face on numerous occasions. But this confrontation hit me. I dropped to my knees, clutching my gut and feeling sick. I felt reviled and disgusting, and did not know how I could ever face something like this again. The deer could have been human. It seemed no different than I. I had been drawn to Edward. Been mesmerized by his scent. His look. The aura that seemed to pour out from his very core.

"We are the perfect killing machine." I uttered, my voice ragged and filled with tears that would never be shed.

"Bella…" Edward's arms were around me, and I leaned against him, my body shaking as if I wept. "You're not a monster. No matter what you may think right now."

"I saw myself in that. The deer might as well have been human." I turned to look at Edward. "Is this what you all see with everyone, even humans? We're no different, are we?"

"Yes, you are." Edward responded, and I saw his eyes held the same misery that mine, no doubt, held. "Because I won't be falling in love with any deer during this existence. Because I won't be so willing to sacrifice anything for any deer, or lion, or bear. Because I loved a human. And now that I have the human I love for all of eternity, I will never bite another for the rest of my days."

"Now I see why you all want to be vegetarian." I remarked, looking at the carcass in the distance. "What does it taste like?"

"The sweetest taste imaginable. Better than any food I had as a human." Edward offered. "You can feel its power. You can feel your body being replenished, and the warmth inside of you…"

"How much do you take?"

"As much as you want." Edward shrugged.

I had closed my eyes as I brought my mouth down on the deer. I tried not to feel repulsed at the feel of my teeth sinking deeper into the flesh. Edward had his hands over my own for support, and he squeezed them, and I knew it was just as hard for him, to witness this struggle of mine.

But, as soon as I felt the warmth, all other feelings left. I felt the heat against my tongue and I felt it begin coursing through my body, filling it up. I didn't want the feeling to end, and I focused on how I warmed up, how each passing second made me more whole and more complete.

"Are you alright?" I stood up, and almost felt the cold snow against my bare feet.

"I didn't want the feeling to go away," I admitted. "It made me feel so warm and complete and…"

"Almost human?"

"In a completely irrational and insane matter, yes."

"Would you like another round?"

"No!" I replied too quickly, and Edward grinned. "That was enough for one night."

"It gets easier after this," Edward explained as we slowly walked through the forest, taking our time. "It might seem like that's not the case, but it will eventually. It's a necessity, and the desire to eat will take over soon enough. It's why we have instincts, I bet. Otherwise vampires would be too human to…" He stopped and fell pensive for a while before murmuring. "…kill."

"Look." I pointed above, and we could see the sky slowly filling with light. "I don't remember watching the sunrise for the longest time."

"If we hurry, we can watch it from you bedroom."

I knew I was capable of running. Perhaps my coordination wasn't even as bad as it had proved to be thus far. I didn't really want to test that claim out, and I never objected to being in Edward's arms. So, as Edward ran as he carried me, I leaned into his chest and savored his scent, enjoying the feeling of completeness I received from being this close. No amount of blood sucking would ever amount to this feeling. I knew that much.

AN: Another transition chapter, but one I felt was necessary before new stuff comes along. Soon to come… Charlie/Edward talk, and back to school and scruples once more…