Questions
It's the next day. I'm still in hospital and still haven't spoken a single word. I am playing cards with Luke, whilst Lorelai and Rory are reading some celebrity gossip magazine.
"Oh my god," Lorelai says to Rory and I look up at them.
"What?" Rory asks intrigued.
"Are you ready?" Lorelai asks Rory guarding the magazine close to her chest.
"Yes, tell me," Rory says excitedly.
"Okay," Lorelai replies. "Johnny Depp is going to play a gay pirate."
"What!" Rory exclaims. "No way, a gay pirate?"
"Yeah," Lorelai says as she hands Rory the magazine.
"Wait," Rory says as she glances at the magazine. "Nowhere in this article does it say he's playing a gay pirate."
"Please it's Johnny Depp," Lorelai defends.
"And…" Rory prompts.
"Cry Baby, Edward Scissorhands, Chocolat," Lorelai explains.
"He wasn't gay in any of those films," Rory replies.
"Maybe not," Lorelai says running out of options. "Hey Luke."
"Yeah," Luke answers back.
"All pirates are gay aren't they?" Lorelai asks.
"Yeah," Luke replies as he picks up a card.
"See," Lorelai says to Rory as she sticks her tongue out.
"That proves nothing," Rory says slightly annoyed. "His name in the film is Captain Jack Sparrow, that doesn't sound very gay to me."
"Maybe not to you," Lorelai defends.
"Your go," Luke says to me, as I had lost attention in the game at hand.
I nod my head and hold up three fingers and Luke hands over a three.
"Jeez," Luke mutters. "I can't even win a game of fish."
"Why aren't you playing poker or blackjack?" Lorelai asks Luke.
"Well, Jess once told me that you can't play poker or blackjack without some form of betting," Luke explains. "Jacks," Luke says to me and I shake my head no.
I am just about to ask for another number when the doctor comes in.
"Jess," The doctor says keeping his distance. "How are you?"
I just nod my head in response.
"Did you get the MRI results back?" Luke asks the doctor nervously.
"Yes," The doctor answers. "That's why I came, everything seems to be fine. We monitored Jess closely overnight and nothing unusual happened, so I can't see any reason for him not to go home."
"Good," Luke says relieved.
"So, the problem with his voice…" Lorelai prompts the doctor.
"Should resolve itself in time," The doctor explains. "Now Jess is going to have to take iron supplements for a couple of months because he lost so much blood, but other than that he should be fine. If he's not talking in a few weeks then definitely come back down to the hospital, but as I said it should be fine."
"Thanks for everything," Luke says to the doctor.
"I'll go fill out Jess' discharge forms," The doctor says as he leaves the room.
I was happy, I was happy to be going home. Even if it did mean that I was going home without a proper diagnosis.
"We're going home," Rory says as she comes over to the bed and hugs me. I kiss her on the top of her head.
"Let's get you dressed," Luke says as he gets up from the chair.
"Rory and I'll go grab some coffee," Lorelai says to Luke. "Who knows when will be the next time we get to have disgusting hospital coffee."
"Yeah," Rory says sarcastically as they leave the room.
Luke goes to the cupboard and pulls out my clothes. He immediately notices my once white shirt, now considered red because of the blood.
"You want to keep this?" Luke asks me.
I nod my head and Luke has a disgusted look on his face.
"Why?" Luke asks. "Never mind, here," Luke says as he hands me my pants.
I get out of bed and put them on. I tap Luke on the shoulder to let him know I'm still shirtless.
"Here," Luke says as he takes off his flannel leaving his under shirt and gives it to me.
I put on his flannel and immediately feel a sense of comfort and warmth. I tap Luke on the shoulder and he turns around. I give him one of my rare smiles and hug Luke. I pull out of the hug a few moments later and sit back on the bed. I can see tears welling in Luke's eyes, but this time I can tell that they are happy tears.
Lorelai and Rory walk back in with discharge papers in hand.
"I think you scared that doctor half to death," Lorelai says to me.
"Yeah," Rory agrees. "He shoved the papers at us and practically ran away."
I smirk.
"Let's got then," Luke says as he gathers up the rest of my things.
The ride back to Stars Hollow was silent, to say the least. Everyone was trying to make chit chat, but failing miserably. We entered Stars Hollow and as we got closer to the diner I could see half the town standing outside the diner. I unfortunately didn't have Lorelai to distract the town this time, but I'm glad she was at the hospital with me.
"Stupid townspeople," Rory says at the sight and grabs my hand.
"Yeah," Luke agrees.
"Hey now Rory," Lorelai begins. "You know if it was, say Taylor in the hospital we too would be in that crowd."
"I guess," Rory agrees. "Don't we have anything better to do with our lives?"
"Apparently not," Luke says as we pull up out front of the diner.
We get out of the car and I am hounded with questions.
"How are you Jess?" Miss Patty asks me.
"Yeah Jess sugar," Comes Babette's addition.
"He's fine," Luke says as he tries to usher me into the diner.
"You can come by the bookstore and grab any book you like for free," Andrew says to me.
"Where is everyone else?" Lorelai asks Patty.
"At your house," Patty answers. "We had this big debate about whether you'd go straight home or to the diner first."
"And we know you can't go without Luke's coffee," Babette explains. "So we are considered the smarties of the town."
"I guess that explains why Kirk isn't here," Rory says to me and I smile.
"Well Jess you look better," Gypsy says to me and I nod my head. "How are you feeling?" I shrug my shoulders in response.
"Young man," Taylor says angrily at me. "This is no way to treat people who are here because they were concerned with your wellbeing."
I stare at Taylor angrily and turn to walk home. I can't deal with Taylor, especially without verbally abusing him.
"He can't talk," I hear Luke behind me explaining to Taylor and the others.
I just wanted to go to bed, go to bed with Milo. Oh shit Milo, who's been looking after him the past day. I break off into a sprint for the house, which must've looked real good to Luke, Lorelai and Rory.
I make it to the house and see the other half of the town standing around the house. They are all broken off into little groups talking. I slow down and look at the crowd, just what I need. I figured I could make a distraction or I could just walk straight past them, maybe they wouldn't notice. Then I noticed the rest of the town is coming this way and I know there's no way I'm getting anywhere near the house now. I turn around and decide to head to the bridge.
I get to the bridge and notice Milo lying in the middle. He gets up as soon as he notices me and runs over to me. He's jumping around me excitedly and I pat him on the head. I walk to the middle of the bridge and sit down. Milo comes over and lays his head in my lap. I gently pat him, I'm glad he's here. He's the only one who doesn't need or want me to talk to him and he can't talk back.
Just then he barks excitedly. I look up and I see Rory coming over to us. She sits down next to me and pats Milo. Milo returns her affection by licking her hand.
"Eww Milo," Rory says as she pulls her hand away after a while and wipes it on my shirt, well Luke's shirt. "Sorry," Rory apologizes to me. "Guess you didn't make it to the house as your still wearing Luke's shirt."
I put my arm around Rory and stroke her hair. She instinctively rests her head on my shoulder and lets out a sigh. I know that she is about to have one of her realization speeches.
"Jess," Rory says and then continues. "What if you never talk again? I miss your sarcastic comments and our witty conversations. I miss you playing around with Luke or annoying Taylor. You're the only person that can keep up a conversation with Lorelai, well apart from me. I miss your voice," Rory finishes sadly as she looks up at me.
I give her a reassuring smile, well at least I try to. I am feeling much of the same thoughts as her. I kiss her to let her know it's still me, but she pulls away. I give her a confused expression.
"I… I…" Rory falters.
I try to speak.
I thought there was no way we would get in a fight when I can't physically say anything to start it.
"I have to go," Rory says as she gets up hurriedly and runs off.
What the hell. What the hell just happened?
I get up off the bridge and head for home. The crowd should have dispersed by now. I need to figure this out. I need to find out why I can't talk.
I walk into the house and am greeted by Luke.
"Hey," Luke says. "How are you doing?" He asks me with concern.
I don't do anything. I just walk swiftly past Luke and head to my room. I wait for Milo to come in before I close the door to Luke's saddened face. I sit down at the desk whilst Milo takes the bed. I push the thoughts of why Rory just suddenly walked away out of my head.
I realize I am still wearing Luke's flannel and it seems to have lost its warmth and comfort, so I quickly take it off. I pick up the nearest shirt off the floor and put it on. I sit back down on at the desk. I glance over at my CD collection trying to figure out what to listen to. My eyes fall on Fall Out Boy's Infinity on High. That'll do, I pick up the CD and put it in the CD player. It starts playing and I turn the volume up.
I rest my hands on the desk and my head in my hands. Where to begin? The doctor said something about it being a subconscious thing. That it was something or some reason why I can't talk. Yeah that really makes sense.
So, question one- Why don't I want to talk? Well for one thing no good can come from it. It usually gets me in trouble with Luke or Rory. Also the whole reason I can't talk at the moment is because Lorelai and I made that stupid bet. So what's the point?
Question two- Now that I've figured out the problem why can't I talk? Geez this is so stupid. Maybe I should just leave it be. It won't be too bad.
I am standing out in the street. I sit down on a bench and notice a little girl playing with a balloon in the park. I watch her she is so innocent playing with her red balloon. Then the wind catches it and blows it across the road. The girl naturally runs onto the road after it. I can see the car, it's coming straight for her. I try to yell out, but nothing comes out. I watch in horror as no one else goes to the girls rescue.
The next second she is hit by the car, I rush over to her. Her crumpled body lying disfigured in the empty street. I look around no one's there, the street is empty and the car has gone. I hold the dying girl in my arms. She looks up at me as she takes her last breath. I cradle her limp body in my arms.
This all feels familiar, but slightly different, darker.
Suddenly the girl disappears and the street is replaced by a hallway. I glance down and notice a woman lying on the ground she's not breathing. I rush to her aid and begin mouth to mouth. I grab the phone out of her pocket and dial 911. 'What is your emergency?' I hear on the other end of the line. I try to explain, but I can't. I look down at the woman's sad eyes. I couldn't revive her, she died in that hallway.
Once again everything turns black and the scene is changed again. I'm now in a lone room. A woman is getting physically abused by a larger man. I run up to the man and try to get him off, but he's too strong. I try to yell out to alert the neighbors or someone out on the street, but once again nothing. I try hopelessly to get the man to stop, but he belts me across the room. I can't move. All I can do is watch in horror as the man delivers the bone crunching blow and the woman's body falls to the ground limp. She is facing me, her eyes so lifeless, yet so scared. I close my eyes wanting to get out of this hell.
Black, scene change.
I am on a frozen lake, skidding across with a younger boy. I look behind as and notice his father watching us. Then his father notices a friend and goes off to talk to him. I turn my attention back to the boy. We take a big run up and skid. I am right next to him, but I drop behind a bit. The next thing the boy has fallen through the ice. I stop my skid just in time and bend down quickly to help him out. I grab his jacket, but he is slipping. I try to yell out to his dad, but I can't. I am loosing grip on the boy. I use two hands and try to pull him up. His body goes limp just as I manage to get a good grip and pull him out. His dad comes running over. I move away from the boy's body. His face is blue and his sky blue eyes are now an icy grey.
Everything goes black. I open my eyes fearful. I look around and notice I am back in my room. Must've been a dream.
"Thanks for the Memories, Thanks for the Memories."I pause the CD and immediately realize who I must see.
I write a quick note to Luke, Lorelai and Rory-
I think I have the answer. I'll be gone for a few days, so don't worry. If I'm going to be gone for longer than a week I'll call. Love Jess. And don't worry I'll be fine.
I quickly pack my duffle bag with clothes and books. I grab the note and duffle bag. I pat Milo goodbye and head out my door. I put the note on the kitchen table and head to the bus stop. Luckily a bus pulls up not long later and I quickly get on. I sit down at the back and the bus pulls away. It goes past the diner and I see Rory sitting in the diner looking out the window. She spots me. I wave and this time I give her a genuine reassuring smile. She looks back at me sadly and I mirror her expression. The bus pulls out of Stars Hollow.
I arrive at my destination and at the once familiar door. I raise my hand and knock.