You liked the complex character development and slice-of-life stuff? Good, BACK TO THE ACTION!
"Dampness, Rain, Boredom, Cold, Discomf…"
"Will you stop that Moon, we're uncomfortable enough as is." Lily put Moon down for complaining.
"It's been 4 hours and not only have we accomplished nothing but the rain has not let up at all." Heckapoo said in annoyance. "I think Moon has a right to complain under her breath."
"It makes things worse for me though."
As Lily and Heckapoo bickered Moon looked up at the fortress surrounded by mist that Crown forces controlled currently. She began thinking back on the 3 weeks that had lead up to this moment and wondered if it was worth waiting in the rain for someone who might have been caught and told where they were already.
Flashback 3 weeks ago
"So, Clan Forest has decided to join our side along with a peasant rebellion?" Toffee asked the messenger calmly.
"Yes, but they are unable to seize the fortress that keeps them in check as they lack the numbers and equipment. Also, rumors are going about that Tiberius is collecting peasants and conscripting them into the army to fight you people numbering in the thousands." This caused a collective gasp with Moon's friends and father.
"How do we fight against this, even after more than 15,000 deaths and desertions they still keep coming in an endless tide?" Ponyhead said in exasperation.
"We will fight because we have to at this point. Remember we took out 8,000 in a single battle alone and the conscripts coming in will not be well trained, far easier to kill or subdue." Moon mentally shied away as Buff Frog spoke so calmly about slaughtering the equivalent of peasants.
"Also my lords." Everyone turned back to the messanger. "It is believed that 10,000 men march to the lands of clan Forest in order to pacify the lands queen Willow currently holds and to find new recruits led by Tiberius himself." This made everyone curse in some way shape or form, especially Odrick.
"He is THE BEST GENERAL in all of Mewni. The fact that he marches with 10,000 soldiers spells trouble for us even if they're conscripts." Odrick said more to just make it clear why this was a problem.
"We barely have 11,000 warriors total even with defector Mewman soldiers and new Monster recruits, how do we fight this?" Moon asked Toffee with everyone turning towards him, even Butler.
"Oh sure whenever there is a crisis everyone turns to me, even the king and princess look to me. Has it ever occurred to you that we just don't have any good options right now?" Toffee sounded annoyed which Moon could understand.
"We… *sigh* sorry Toffee, you are just the best guy we have for this type of stuff." Moon hugged him burying her head in his chest with Toffee returning the hug amidst a chorus of aaawww's.
"Well if we are done comforting each other, I think I have an idea." Helsinki spoke getting everyone's attention.
She then put done blueprint papers on the table showing what appeared to be humanoid figures but built using mechanisms. They appeared to be about the same size as Buff Frog and built even more solidly and they were made of metal and not flesh.
"Only prototypes are available now thanks to the Dawi Zharr, but they could provide some good expendable troops should we need them." Helsinki smiled proudly as everyone gathered around.
"And you didn't tell us this because?" Rhombulus asking the obvious question.
"I had no idea if it would work obviously and didn't want to get your hopes up for nothing."
"This could work but now we have to spilt up again." Moon assumed leader role again taking up the slack. "Helsinki, produce as many of these as you can; they needn't be good but they must be there. Dad and Avarius, find Stalvard and Rasticore and get a force ready to not defeat the army of Tiberius but slow it down. Ponyhead, Rhombulus, and Buff Frog, help out Helsinki in getting these constructs up and running at the actual fields of battle. Fulntrut and Lucy, get in contact with Oliver Twist and Ash Rose to keep everyone updated on a daily basis; I know it will be difficult and require the usage of A LOT of dimensional scissors but we need to know EVERYTHING. Toffee and Butler, keep the home front working smoothly and supplies going strong to help out everyone else. River, Heckapoo, Bonibell, and Lily, you're with me and Reepacheep in getting the fortress cracked open as stealthily as possible. TEAM CIRCLE!" Moon put her hand forward and everyone else did so to in a circle.
"Let's do this and break." Everyone chanted and split up ready to get started.
'Now if only we could figure out how to get in this fortress without drawing to much attention or destroying it, that'd be great.' Moon thought giving and annoyed expression as people began bickering again behind her. She was about to turn and tell them to keep it down before she heard a short whistle that she recognized.
"Everyone, she's back." Moon hissed and everyone quieted down as Moon gave an earth Loon call that most Mewmans wouldn't recognize but Moon's allies would.
"So what's the word sugar wings." River asked Bonibell as she appeared.
"They have a Tremorfidian crystal so no portals and they have a magic shield over top so no air dropping Guardians in to open the gates. There are postern gates but they are heavily guarded at all times so no sneaking in with the help of a supporter from the inside. They also used multiple grills for the ducts so no rats will be getting inside of the castle either." Moon hung her head in frustration as they had anticipated everything they could throw at them. "But I do have an idea on what could work simply because it is so strange that they will never see it coming and it matches the defenses perfectly." Bonibell smiled as everyone looked at each other.
"What is this plan then?" Lily asked hesitantly.
As Bonibell went on about what her plan was everyone looked at each other in worry and in shock. But as she went on everyone began smiling at the plan even if there were still shocked looks mixed in there as well.
"That idea is crazy, just crazy. *he he* It is absolutely crazy in just every way shape and form. *he he* In fact… it is so crazy it just might work." Moon smiled now realizing what they had to work with.
Monaco the "Muffin Man" sat reading as his ovens were on standby at the moment. Not much business today, or the last 3 days for that matter, and he needed a chance to make money. 'Well I should have known this might happen when moving to Pixtopia.' He thought to himself considering the rainy seasons could last like this for nearly 1 month nonstop. He was sighing in annoyance when he heard a knocking at the door. He got up and moved quickly hoping it was a customer and as he opened it he was rewarded with something better.
"Bonibell, what are you doing here?" He answered joyously seeing several other being with her.
"Fire up the ovens my dear uncle, we have a big order to fill. And my meat muffin needs some stuff as well." Bonibell replied kissing a stoutly built blond haired lad with a peach fuzz beard.
"Come in come in, let's see what I can do for you.
30 minutes later at 375*
Lightning strikes and a maniacal mad scientist's laughter erupts from the cookie store situated on Dreary Lane in Pixtopia as lighting strikes down drawn there by some form of magic. As the lightning stops the maniacal laughter is replaced by loud, dumb laughter as the ground shifts and a massive figure stands up behind the store illuminated only slightly be lightning and steaming with heat.
"IT'S… IT'S ALIIIIIIVE!" Bonibell is heard yelling from somewhere in the background.
"This is ridiculous, no one would dare attack us in small numbers so why are we so worried about raids all around us?"
"This town below our fortress is still vulnerable as are the lands around it. They provide the soldiers and supplies we need in order to fight the Lizard's minions and we need to protect them if we wish to use them. Seriously it's like I'm talking to a 5 year old here." Several soldiers nearby chuckled at the conversation the 2 soldiers were having.
Currently their group was on patrol in the town below fortress Ire, the place that secured the lands of clan Forest for queen Willow. Recently raids and sneak attacks had been interfering with the locals so the commander had been sending out more and more soldiers out to keep the land pacified. The fortress itself was ok, it was a really good fortress especially with so few devoted only to housing the army and not being a castle, but with the amount of soldiers dispatched only 500 were left to protect it. That was ok as word could be sent for help if they were under siege but it meant everyone had to work double shifts half the time.
"*Worried Sigh*Attacks in the country side around us drawing more and more soldiers away, I tell you this is your stereotypical distract the generals so you can kick them from behind. I know the fortress is good, but we shouldn't be sending out soldiers all willy-nilly." This was said by the oldest member of the group, a veteran who had fought under Odrick "the old Lion" in the past.
"Oh come on what are they gonna do, send a monster the size of the fortress after us." The second soldier said again just as the ground shook.
Everyone stopped and looked around as the ground shook again with the sound of what seemed to be gigantic feet. The townsfolk nearby either froze in place or started running in certain directions as if it was some sort of signal. Before anyone could say anything trees nearby started falling down as a swarm of rats with a few Rat Ogres came around the corner followed by Guardians of Mewni. The soldiers were so shocked they just stepped aside and let them pass. He himself didn't want to fight them as he possessed the tattoo of no return at the ambush at the store house and if he was caught he would be executed by Moon. A small group was following the Guardians and rats; a red haired woman in a yellow dress whom he didn't recognize flying through the air, a stout boy wearing blue cloths and armor he knew as River riding a Warnicorn with a slim Guardian he thought was Lily Forest (Ironic), and a rat sitting above a red Star patch on the Warnicorn's head who processed a red gem instead of his left eye.
"RUN RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN!" River shouted as the group bringing up the rear flew past.
The men looked to each other in confusion until they felt a shadow pass over them and looked up by reflex. One of the soldiers, the one who had berated him he noticed smiling, screamed like a little girl dropping his weapons. The others didn't fare much better except for the old guy who swore and stepped back ready to fight a losing battle. They all stepped further to the side as they gazed up at THE ATTACK OF THE 50 FOOT GINGERBREAD MAN!
"When I said monster the size of a fortress I was being sarcastic!"
"YEAH, GO BABY!" Bonibell yelled as Moon laughed along.
They were riding on the Gingerbread man's shoulder through the town as mist swirled around it like a cloak. The Gingerbread man laughed stupidly and accidentally destroyed what looked to be a propaganda poster set up by the soldiers for queen Willow. Moon chuckled and set her eyes forward at fortress Ire and pointed at it.
"That's it Mongo, to the fortress." Moon's smile quickly fell from her face when she saw where he was going. "No nononono stay focused you great stupid pastry, come on."
"Num Num." Mongo said as he reached down and picked up what an overhanging sign said the world's largest coffee cup.
He immediately brought it up to his face and tried drinking it as people nearby fled in all directions afraid, legitimately, that if he dropped the cup it might fall on them. Moon looked at Bonibell in exasperation as she looked back at her with an apologetic face.
"Please pardon him, he was just born 1 day ago." Moon face palmed as Mongo dropped the coffee cup upon realizing that it had no drink in it squishing what seemed to be a garbage can in the process.
"Hey Mongo, down here." They looked to see Heckapoo who appeared to be dancing and lighting herself up.
"Oh, Aaaaaaaah." Mongo began going for Heckapoo.
"That's right follow the pretty flame girl, pretty flame girl wishes to play at the fortress." Moon held a hand over her mouth knowing that Heckapoo would be deathly embarrassed by this later.
"Flame gurl, purtty flame gurl." Mongo said as Bonibell mimicked Moon knowing this would accompany Heckapoo for quite some time.
"Sir, we are under attack."
"Activate the defenses and get the men on the walls then, what are you 5?" The commander addressed his soldier annoyed.
"You might want to see this sir." The commander grunted in annoyance and went up following the man to the walls.
"This had better be good or ridiculously bad, I have work to do." He said in annoyance as they made it to the top.
"Decide for yourself sir." The soldier pointed over the wall as the men readied the defenses in a mad rush.
shrek 2 I need a hero ( watch?v=EasWdq7Njgo) (Start 0:39)
He looked out in annoyance which quickly turned into awe and wonder. 'I have never seen anything like this before.' He thought in childish awe which quickly turned into fear and shock. 'Will the defenses hold?' he thought as he analyzed the defenses and what this creature could likely do. He reached the conclusion that if it could take a catapult hit they had nothing against that creature, not even boiling water would do much harm.
"Man the catapults!" He yelled and put on his helmet. "And someone get me my weapons." He ordered in annoyance.
He waited at the battlements knowing that if they got past the gate they would be in for the fight of their lives. Giant Gingerbread man aside there were the Guardians of Mewni and the rats with their Rat Ogres below that could sweep them aside. And what's more, he saw what appeared to be Moon herself riding the monstrous Gingerbread man.
"Man the catapult. Steady, fire." He watched the arc of the flaming rock only to be disappointed as Moon shot it down with an icy blast from her wand.
"Reload, fire as one." He ordered his men. Magic was difficult but not impossible to counter if you knew how.
"Steady, fire." 12 shots arched outwards towards the Gingerbread man and he smiled.
"Counter this Princess." He said to himself as the Princess shot down as many as she could.
"Brace yourself." "Oh, purtty." He heard this from all the way up on the wall for some reason as a few of the rocks found their mark.
The beast stumbled back under the impact of 3 rock hits with his men giving up a cheer. The smile on the commanders face was short lived however when he saw the most damage they had done was knock off a gumdrop button and scattered the forces behind the gingerbread man a little. He watched as the gears inside of the creatures head were slowly turning trying to figure out what happened and looked up locking eyes with the commander. It then suddenly narrowed its eyes looking intimidating, impressive for a giant cookie, and roared at the fortress kicking the gumdrop button that was shot off of it back at the fortress destroying a catapult in the process.
"Focus fire on the beasts legs, we might be able to knock it down to size." His men scrambled to execute his order but he knew that it wasn't going to do much.
He watched the creature kick another rock with surprising accuracy destroying another catapult while Moon launched a bolt of magic destroying a third. He looked down seeing the Guardians us their magic to set up small magical throwers which they seemed to be using to launch rats at the walls around the gate house. Clever girl trying to take out the portcullis so they didn't have to batter it down once they got the drawbridge down. The worst part was he might not have enough men for the job of defending it as he had lost 50 men when they were stranded outside of the walls and 15 more when the 3 catapult's were destroyed… better make that 20 and 4 catapults destroyed. He ordered his men down to the gate to defend it should it be smashed down and had some go up to the gate house to stop the rats if possible. He looked out at the approaching beast with Moon upon it shoulder smashing the catapults one by one. He then gave out the order for his men to abandon the catapults as they would be no us in destroying… suddenly, he had an epiphany. When he was a child he dunked cookies into warm milk so he could make them softer to eat as water couldn't do it for some reason.
"Men, get out the milk from the stores and ready the boiling water, we have a cookie to soften up." The soldiers looked at him in suspicion before agreeing to go along with it.
He saw the monster come up to the walls with Moon using some sort of flaming-lighting spell to clear out the walls of Mewman soldiers fighting the rats. He then nodded in acknowledgement as the battlements were actually enough to shield rats if not the soldiers. 'My word she has thought of everything, no wonder she has gotten so far with so little.' He thought extremely impressed by Moon. The battlements at the very top of the gate house were enough to stop the blast but only just, leaving him untouched and the barrels of Boiling water super-heated but intact. 'Thank you for that my lady.' He thought happily. The Milk was brought up just as the beast reached the drawbridge and looked at Moon questioningly.
"After you Mongo." The beast grabbed the drawbridge and pulled after Moon said that and heaved the drawbridge creaking and threatening to fall down.
"We can't have that now can we?" He said to himself as he waved his hand.
Boiling water was poured into a gigantic bowl of milk making it bubble and steam with heat much greater then when he was a child. He smiled as he helped pour the bowl of milk onto the beasts head smiling at the shocked look he saw on the all of the attackers faces as it struck the beast. It groaned in pain as he laughed but was brought short when he saw it right itself and stare at him angrily with an impressive wig of foam on its head.
"More heat, less foam." One of his men yelled that at random and he just went along with it.
His men poured another one adding twice the amount of water as they did the last time making the foam die down but the milk bubble and steam with even more heat. They pushed it to the edge again as Moon tried another blast from her wand to deter them roasting a few men in the process. She then ran down his arm to where there was gap caused by the beasts arms stuck in between the drawbridge and the stone work. He personally got behind the bowl and heaved with his legs pushing the bowl over the wall coating the creatures arms with the milk and hitting it with the bowl as he actually had managed to heave it over. He then pumped his fist with a muffled "yes" as the arms broke and the creature fell into the moat with what appeared to be a pixie running after it in loss yelling "NOOOOOOOO".
"Men, the gate is ours." His men gave a cheer chanting his name until they heard a smash from outside and saw they had still managed to get the drawbridge down.
"Well Fuck me." One of the guards said that and he couldn't agree more right now as Rat Ogres and Guardians streamed across the drawbridge with a Warnicorn leading the way bearing a Guardian of Mewni upon its back.
"Down into the Gate house men. We can still win this if we close the portcullis and keep it closed." He then charged down into the gatehouse knowing that if they failed to do that before the entire army got in, they lost no matter what.