Amy remains stoic, much to Sheldon's shock and amazement, as her family wails in their grief while learning of Mr. Fowler's passing. She reached for his hand when the doctor was delivering the news and hasn't let go. Amy is using her index finger to caress the long lines along his palm. They spent several minutes doing just that on the night of Amy's birthday just a few days after they reconciled. They caressed, massaged and kissed each hand and fingertip before she took his hand and placed it so he could feel her heart racing. She was so nervous. He wonders if maybe she wasn't ready for that step at the time but felt if she didn't take it when offered, the offer would be rescinded?
Amy leans in to whisper, "can you come with me?" to him. She needs to step away to call relatives, call the university in Paris, call the funeral home... so many calls. He nods and holds her hand, helping her up, as they go to find a quieter place for the phone calls. As they turn the corner to go through the heavy wooden doors, Amy stops suddenly as she sees two nurses wheeling a body covered by a white sheet. Her father.
She feels like she's going to vomit and runs to the bathroom directly across the hall from where they stand, leaving the door open as she barely makes it to the bowl in time. Sheldon steps inside and locks the door, but doesn't...can't... go any closer to her. As she appears to finish, she washes her hands then cups them under the sink so she can rinse her mouth. Sheldon cringes as she spits, not saying a word. She wraps her arms around his waist and lays her head against his chest, needing to be held for a moment. Sheldon squeezes her tight and strokes her hair. Words aren't necessary, Amy decides. He's telling her through his actions that he cares.
"I've seen dead bodies before. I don't know why I had that reaction," she whispers in apology.
"It was someone you love," he replies as if that explanation alone makes complete sense.
She starts crying at that, the force of her sobs shaking her body as she clings to Sheldon. All he can do is hold her to him and let her cry until she's out of tears. Words aren't necessary, he decides. Actions speak louder than words. He hears the door handle jiggle several minutes later. Amy's still sobbing, the sound echoing off the walls of the small room.
"Ma'am, are you alright?" a male voice calls out as he knocks on the door.
"Yes," Amy replies, violently shaking her head no for Sheldon's benefit. "I'll be right out. Sorry."
"Take your time. I'm sorry for your loss," he replies before leaving them be.
"It must be a staff member," Amy explains to Sheldon's befuddled look.
"Sit on the toilet and catch your breath," Sheldon encourages.
He grabs a paper towel from the dispenser and turns the tap at the sink on, testing to make sure it's lukewarm before wetting it. Going to Amy, he drops to his knees in front of her. Taking the balled up damp paper towel, he gently wipes it along each cheek, her chin, her forehead and finally her neck, never breaking eye contact. He has tears pooling in his eyes, Amy notices as she grabs for both of his hands, stilling him as he goes to stand. She doesn't have the words to express what that small gesture means to her. She hopes he can see it in her eyes as she squeezes his hands.
"Don't let go of my hand," she whispers.
"I wouldn't dream of it," he promises as he leans in to kiss her cheek.
She sniffles one last time and grabs some toilet paper to blow her nose, throwing it in the garbage can as they walk out. Sheldon glances towards the family room as they walk by, seeing the door now closed. He can hear Mrs. Fowler sobbing and briefly wonders if they need to go back in there. Amy keeps walking and they soon exit the CCU unit into the long skywalk ramp. It's a beautiful sunny afternoon and there's not a cloud in the sky. Amy stops and stares out the panoramic floor to ceiling glass windows into the distance.
"Dad always loved sitting on the back deck and watching the sunset. There's a spot about a 45-minute drive from here, Turanea Bluff State Park. We'd go there every Saturday night when I was a child. When Hale-Bopp was visible, Dad took me every night. We'd set up his telescope and he'd let me use his Nikon camera to take photos. I'll have to show them to you," Amy decides.
"Let's go to the bluff tonight," Sheldon suggests as Amy smiles at his thoughtful gesture.
She's becoming teary again, she gripes as she tries to hold her tears at bay. Pulling his red handkerchief from his back pocket, Sheldon gently wipes away her tears before handing it to her to blow her nose if needed. Tucking it into her pocket she comments, "and they say chivalry is dead."
"It's okay to cry... scream... be angry..." he promises. He leaves out that his promise applies to the situation with them as well as her father.
"I want to cry... and remember," she whispers as they continue their walk to the elevator taking them to the cafeteria. As the door shuts, Amy leans against Sheldon, who wraps his arm around her waist and pulls her in closer.
"You're incredible," she whispers in his ear.
"You're braver than you believe and stronger than you think," he replies as the door opens.
Sheldon takes her to a table and whispers, "I'm getting us tea. I will be right back."
Amy usually prefers green tea in the afternoon, but he decides to get her peppermint instead for its anti-nausea properties. He gets himself green matcha tea just in case Amy doesn't want peppermint and quickly goes back to the table. Amy has her head down, staring at her phone's keypad.
"Where do I begin?" she whispers.
"Call work first," Sheldon suggests. "That will be easiest. Peppermint," he says as he sets the cup in front of her.
"Thank you, Sheldon," she whispers as her cell phone beeps with an incoming text, her aunt asking where they went.
"I want to work tomorrow. I need to work tomorrow," she murmurs to Sheldon.
"Amy... don't. You're in shock. Take care of yourself first. It's okay to take a few days off under the circumstances," he reassures.
"Says the man who has to be forced to take a vacation," she teases, smiling to let him know she's teasing.
"Do as I say, not as I do," he replies. "If you'd rather be with your family.."
"Family isn't just blood, Sheldon. You are my family. Penny, Leonard, Bernie, Howard, and Raj are my family. In fact, being with my pseudo-family is more preferable right now. Social convention is to be with my biological family but..."
"Do whatever feels right for you, Amy," Sheldon encourages.
"I need you to stay close. I um... I want you to stay the night with me again," she requests.
"Okay," he whispers. "Can we stop by my apartment so I can pack a bag?" he requests.
"Sure," she agrees. "Let me call work and then we can go. I'll make the other calls from Penny and Leonard's."
Amy texts her Aunt, letting her know of the plan and is not at all surprised when her Aunt comes to the cafeteria a few minutes later, seemingly to "talk some sense" into Amy. Linda pulls over a chair and squeezes Amy's hand as she sits. Amy's still on the phone and gives a small smile to her Aunt.
"Thank you for being here for Amy," Linda whispers to him so as not to be overheard on the phone. "Rita... well, my sister-in-law can be..."
"Intimidating," Sheldon supplies, as Amy snorts at Sheldon's inoffensive word choice.
"I was going to say a bitch but that works," Linda decides as she laughs as well. "She's made up her mind that you're unworthy of Amy's affections..."
"She's right. I am... but, that's not her decision to make. Only Amy gets to make the decision on if she can forgive me for what I've done. I am undeserving of her forgiveness, but if she is willing to forgive me, I am going to thank my lucky stars and spend the rest of my life showing Amy how much I love her," Sheldon promises. Reaching under the table, Amy squeezes his knee, letting him know she appreciates what he just said.
She leaves her hand resting on his knee, rubbing her thumb up and down along the smooth fabric of the khaki pants as they discuss what needs to happen next. The rest of Amy's family, including her mother, join them a short time later. Sheldon immediately notices a change in Amy's demeanor as their mother approaches. She immediately removes her hand from his leg and puts distance between them, not wanting any physical contact with Sheldon. He gives her a look, questioning this sudden change, to which she doesn't say anything.
"I want to know, I truly do, how do you live with yourself? All of us have to believe that we're decent, don't we? You have to sleep at night. How do you tell yourself that you're decent after everything that you've done? You think that just by being here and holding Amy's hand, all can be forgiven? You're the scum of the Earth..." Mrs. Fowler rants.
Amy is turning angrier by the second at this unprovoked attack on Sheldon. Sheldon sees her fists clenching at her sides in anger and Amy is gritting her teeth, biting her tongue as she tries to hold it in.
"Shut up! Just shut up, Mom!" Amy finally yells at her. "He's here because I asked him to be. He's here to support me, support US as a family... stop attacking him. This is between Sheldon and me. It's difficult enough without you butting into something you don't understand!"
"Sheldon, can we have a few moments alone as a family?" Harold requests after several minutes of uncomfortable silence.
"Of course," Sheldon replies. He doesn't want to leave Amy's side but he respects her Grandfather, and that respect appears to be mutual.
Sheldon wanders back to the koi pond and takes a seat on the bench once again, letting out a heavy sigh as he tilts his head against the wall and closes his eyes. He expected lots of tears and sadness this weekend, but this... this is the last thing he expected. He pulls out his cell phone and sends a text message to their friends, including Amy into the chain, letting them know of Mr. Fowler's passing and that he's going to be with Amy for most of the weekend. He then calls into work and leaves a similar message for Dr. Gabelhauser. Necessities taken care of, Sheldon gets the overwhelming urge to call Meemaw.
"Hey, Moonpie! How are ya?" Meemaw asks as she answers after the third ring.
"Um... Amy's father just passed within the last hour and... I'm... I'm sad..." he confesses. "Um... did Mom tell you what I did?"
"Yes," she replies, "Sheldon Lee, I should fly there and kick your skinny ass into the next Millenium. I can't believe you'd do that, especially after seeing what your mother went through. Were y'all having a rough patch?"
"No. Amy.. she shocked me by going to New Jersey without even talking to me about it first. Amy said last night that she thought it was revenge, and maybe it was in some form of subconscious self-sabotage... but... I don't have a clear understanding of why I did this, Meemaw," he confesses.
"It was thought out?" Meemaw questions.
"Yes. I thought about it and the consequences of my actions for six days before I made the decision," Sheldon confirms.
"You wanted to hurt Amy," Meemaw concludes. "She hurt you when she decided to take the fellowship and you wanted to hurt her as much as she hurt you. Stupid move, Moonpie."
"I know, Meemaw," he whispers into the phone, "um... how... how do I comfort her now? How do I show support for her family? They hate me."
"Just.. be there for her, Sheldon. If she needs a hug or to hold your hand, show her affection. Bring her tea or water or food without her asking. Give her your handkerchief when she cries. Show her family you support them by supporting Amy. They'll come to appreciate it in time. Order pizzas for them so they don't have to worry about cooking dinner tonight."
"I'll do that," Sheldon decides.
"Do you still have my ring?" Meemaw wonders.
"Yes," he confirms before sighing, "I'll send it back to you."
"Keep it. I have a feeling you'll be needing it sooner than you might think."
They walk up the stairs of Sheldon's apartment building an hour later and Sheldon opens the door of Leonard and Penny's apartment, leading Amy inside. She's been very quiet, almost in a zombie-like state since her conversation with her family.
"Could you get a blanket, Sheldon? I'm cold," she requests as she sits in her spot on the couch.
He goes to the hall closet and pulls out the royal blue down-filled comforter with the fleece backing, bringing it over to her as he sits in his spot and tucks it around her, loosely laying the excess over his lap as he lays his arm across the back of the couch. She chooses instead to use his thigh as a pillow and faces the ceiling as she stretches out. Sheldon gently removes her glasses and folds them, placing them on the end table.
"Sleep. I'll keep the monsters away," he vows.
"You look exhausted too," she apologizes.
"I am," he admits.
"Are you only with me right now out of guilt and remorse?" she questions.
Whoa, where'd that come from? Her voice suddenly became icy, spiteful... accusatory. Tread carefully, he decides. They made the promise to each other to be truthful, plus she knows him so well that there's no evading the question.
"Guilt, remorse... friendship... love," he whispers. "I'm not letting you face this alone."
"This doesn't mean all is forgiven," she warns.
"I know.," he reassures, "but for right now, that doesn't matter. I'm here as your friend...I am here for whatever you need from me, even if it's just bringing you a glass of water."
"Are you hoping for coitus?" she wonders.
"I can honestly say no, not at this point. I'm... I'm honestly shocked that we're even on speaking terms. I made up my mind that I had caused irreparable damage to our relationship and the kindest thing I could do is help you find closure."
"Do you still feel that way?" Amy wonders.
"Now... now, I don't know. I... I don't deserve forgiveness, but I... I can't... I don't... watching you get on the plane hurt so much. I knew you were going to go, but watching you walk out of my life... the magnitude of what I had done didn't hit me until that moment. What if this is too big a hurdle to overcome? What if I can't control my urges and I do this again, and again and again? What if... you decide to give up on me or give Dave a chance or... you meet the love of your life in Paris? What if you don't come back to California?"
"Dave will not get a chance with me," she reassures, "which... for you to repeat that vile, hurtful statement..."
"I didn't mean it, Amy. I am so sorry I said that. It was in anger but it should never have even been a thought let alone something I said. We've always had a relationship built on mutual respect and consent, among other attributes. I respect your right to say no to intimate activity. I respect your right to change your mind as happened last night That comment, that... it was disrespectful of me to say that and I apologize."
"Thank you. Still, I'm struck by the grain of truth in that statement," she explains. "I need to understand your thought processes during the six days between the kiss and when you made up your mind to proceed with the experiment."
"I will explain in time, I promise... but this isn't the time for that, Amy. You need to grieve," he encourages.
"DON'T TELL ME WHAT TO DO!" she snaps.
He closes his eyes and takes several deep breaths through his nose, exhaling through his mouth to calm himself. She's still laying with her head in his lap but has rolled so her back is now to him facing the island in the kitchen. He can't get angry at her, not now, not ever when it comes to this. He notices her hair is in her eyes. She hates that. Reaching up, he gently tucks the errant strand behind her ear. She sighs as he does so, so he keeps running her hair through his fingers before lightly massaging her neck in silence for several minutes. He hears the door opening with a soft click and looks back over the couch as Penny enters, putting a finger to his lips as he points to where Amy now sleeps.