CHRISTIAN

This bullshit with running around Southern Oregon and Northern California chafed me more than sandpaper boxers. Night began to fall as we made our way south on I5, passing through Redding and heading to some little bumfuck town in the middle of rice fields, almond orchards, and dairies. We rode in silence, the last time Taylor spoke, being to inform me that Ana gave us the slip and made it already to the goddamn hippie commune. They better have love beads, gonna need some to tie her up so she'll listen to reason.

"Goddamn dirty hippies." Didn't mean to speak the sentiment aloud.

"Sir?" Taylor asked in that way of his- not sure he really wanted me to elaborate.

"Why would Ana go to some damned hippie commune? The logic escapes me." I heaved a sigh as the familiar stirrings of anger and lust wove into my bloodstream.

"She probably figured you'd never look for her in such a location, given that she knows your stance on socialist and communist activities, sir."

I nodded. That seemed likely. "Was she taken there by force? Or go there on her own free will? Never got ransom demands, so why would they take her?"

"Sir, she may be in full-on Patty Hearst mode. I do know for certain that she was taken- she never had an opportunity to seek outside help."

The certainty in Taylor's voice soothed me. "That's a good point." I did make sure she could only depend on me. Scared her protective guy friend away, he was my biggest threat.

"Sir, we're nearing our destination." Pitch black outside, with no hint of silvered light from the moon. We drove through a tiny village, the largest structure being the rodeo grandstands and the rural fire department building, lit with flood lights. There were far more trees than buildings.

We drove on a pot-hole riddled road, before turning right onto a tiny dirt road that could pass as a narrow bike path. Branches of conifers brushed the sides of the SUV, creating a nails-on-chalkboard sound that grate at my nerves. "Do you know where the commune is?" The forest seemed thicker at night, dense with glowing eyes staring in the darkness. I didn't like it. Best case, there's a drive way. Worst case, hiking at night.

"My source said to reach it, we drive down this road until there's a stand of three pine trees next to the road. Then it's a hike to the main dwelling. Once we're off the road, it's private property. Can't take this rig onto it, otherwise we leave evidence of trespassing."

"I don't give a shit about that, Taylor. They have my wife, and better give her back otherwise I'll buy the land and hide their bodies for trying to prevent me from getting what's mine." Heard Taylor heave a deep sigh. What's his fucking problem? If he's so concerned about not getting caught trespassing, then he can wait at the car, like the big boy he is, while I'll man up and seek my property. "How much further?"

"Any minute, sir. Looks like the woods are alive tonight."

Eyes lit by the moon or by the headlights of the Toyota seemed to surround us, and knowing I have to fucking hike in woods saturated with vermin just fueled the fire of my anger even more. "I can see that." I tried scanning ahead of us, looking for the three trees together as our marker. "There!" Two very tall pines, one not-so-high formed a little triangle a dozen yards away down the road. Taylor parked the SUV and got out to open my door. "Stay here. I'll call you if I need you."

"Sir, there might not be reception up here."

I shrugged my shoulders, not really giving a damn. Like I want him tailing me when I deliver the first bit of well-earned correction to my very deserving wife. "Then stay here until I get back. Do not leave your post."

"Yes, sir." Tone in his voice told me he didn't like that order. I'm sure he'll get over it. Taylor got back into the driver's seat, leaving the door open to illuminate the path down the road's embankment and onto the property owned by fucking California hippies. "Sir, my source said there's notches cut into some trees to show the way to the dwelling. Just follow the path, and you'll be there in a while."

I nodded. "Very good. And since my phone might not have reception, it at least has a flashlight app."

"Very good, sir." He sounded almost happy that I had illumination.

He got out of the car and walked to the stand of trees. Could hear him taking a piss, before the crunch of gravel underneath his boots gave away his location of heading back to the Toyota. I didn't turn around to look at him, just kept trying to find my footing over the forest floor covered with fallen branches.

"Sir! Don't move!" Taylor's voice echoed through the night and startling me.

"Why?" I put one foot out, trying to kick a branch out the way. The flashlight on my phone seemed very weak, and wasn't helping that much. All my focus was on not slipping from leaf litter beneath my handmade Italian loafers.

"Skunk behind you! Don't move!"

His words didn't make sense. A skunk? I'm larger than a skunk, it's noting more than a furry forest football. "Fuck that skunk!" And as soon as the words fell from my lips, I felt a giant slash on my back as something made impact. A horrid stench filled the air and I found myself dry heaving from the fumes.

"He got you, sir."

"Really, Taylor? I couldn't have fucking guessed!" I turned around and looked for that black and white fucknut responsible for spraying me. "Where is it? I'm going to kill the fucker! Make a fucking pair of slippers from it's hide! Where the fuck is it!" Anger boiled through every part of my being, fueling my anger even more. How dare Ana come to some god-forsaken place run by dirty goddamn hippies and animals deserving death? Why the fuck would she do that to me? I hated her more in that moment than I ever did.

Made me glad I saved rope and cinder blocks from my late date with Elena.

"It ran off into the woods after it sprayed you, sir."

"Fucking find it and skin it alive! I'm going to find my wife." Already wasted enough time meandering through Oregon and California today. I fucking meant business and I mean to complete the job.

"Yes, sir." Good Taylor. He might get a raise after tonight.

Stripped off my suit's navy jacket and threw it on the ground. The impact seemed to have centered itself on my back, and with it off, I stunk much less. With my cellphone's light facing the ground, I picked my way through debris, using fresh gashes in the trees show me the way. Every step made my blood boil in rage. How dare she do this? How dare she allow herself to be taken from her home? How dare she not come back to me! She would get twenty lashes this time. No gag. She doesn't deserve a gag. I want to hear her beg and plead and ask for my forgiveness. I want her cries to mean something.

And they will.

I began stomping in earnest, intent on finding Ana as soon as possible so I could have her bathe me. Repeatedly. Until the stink goes away. Every now and again, I'd see a flash of white out the corner of my eye before it'd disappear. Stopped, swiveled around and held my cellphone flashlight up high, trying to keep the dark at bay. "Who is out there?"

Nothing answered back, but a low menacing growl off in the distance. Made the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end. Fuck it. If a wolf mauls me, so fucking be it. It'll get a mouthful of skunk ass. I started on my trek again, ignoring the growl in the dark, and the sound of twigs snapping as it followed me.

About a half hour of hiking, the forest thinned out a bit. Strange, primal scents filled the air, overwhelming the stench of skunk. A voice in the darkness startled me.

"Oye there! You're on private property. Turn around and leave else we call the cops and game warden."

I looked around, trying to seek the deep male voice that taunted me. "I'm looking for my wife. Heard she was at a hippie commune out here."

"Bucko, there's no hippie commune out in these woods." This time it was a different male voice, much more melodic than the first.

"Have you seen my wife? Her name is Ana. She was taken from me."

"By hippies? Get off my property. It's well within my rights to shoot trespassers, and I've got two guns pointed at your right now. Hippies don't carry guns, mate." The deeper male voice spoke again.

"I'm not leaving without my wife. I have very good information leading me to believe my wife is here." Frustration filled every pore. How dare they keep me from her! I know they have her!

"You're fucking crazy, wandering the woods at night. Ya know you're in a baited area? There's a pig we're hunting tonight and you're within striking distance of an angry boar." The second voice said.

"Give me my wife, and I'll go."

"Do you see your wife here, man? No? Then what makes you think we have her? We're hunting hogs, not kidnapping women."

I didn't believe them. "Where's the house? Maybe I'll find her there."

"The house is a seven mile hike. You're not dressed for it, and we're not leaving until the pig gets stuck."

It was then that I heard crashing in the brush, a few yards to my left.

The two voices called out, "Tuskadeer!"

An immense animal came thundering toward me before two gun shots sounded. I cringed and ducked behind a tree. Could hear a squealing pig and the pounding of footsteps. "Hold him, gotta cut the jugular!" I peeped around the tree to make out in the darkness, two figures huddled over the now-silent animal. The taller and heavier built of the two came stalking my way. Could see a large knife in his hand and hear the sound of blood dropping off it and landing on dry leaves. "You!" I started. He was snarling at me. "You, what the bloody fuck do you think you're doing? Trying to get shot or gored?"

How dare this peon address me so! "I told you already. I'm looking for my wife, Ana."

"If you see her, take her. If she's not here, then fucking go. No. I already told you to go. Hey, cuz? Got the satellite phone?"

"Aye, right here."

"Call the game warden. He'll show up here before the cops. Tell him there's a poacher here." He nodded toward me. "You better get gone before Rusty arrives. It'll give you about forty minutes to skedaddle."

"I'm not going anywhere." Didn't give a damn about his threat. I carry no weapon, how could I be a poacher? Stupid, ignorant fools.

"Suit yourself. Cuz, after you're done calling Rusty, help me carry the pig home. We need to dress it, and since this area is my private hunting grounds, I'm not going to clean it here." To me, he said, "Rusty's a decent sort, just don't make quick movements or his dog will get ya. She bites hard." Heard the other gent talk to someone on the phone, his voice too soft to make out individual words. Could barely make out the two men lifting the pig they shot and carrying it a short distance. Heard them put it in a vehicle bed, before they piled in and drove off. They went too fast for me to follow, and my phone's battery was at thirty-six percent. Wouldn't last all the way to the dwelling.

I'd just explain to the law enforcement that these men won't help me find my errant wife. Already determined to buy this property and raze every fucking inch with fire, this delay just irked the fuck out of me even more. I sat down and fumed. How fucking dare Ana ever associate with hippies or hunters? She is not the woman I married. But she will be, again. Don't know how long I sat in the dark, surrounded by stinking air when the growling returned, louder this time. Then more crashing through the brush. "Oh, fuck!"

This time, the animal was taller. It bellowed in a way that made me stand up, and look for a tree to climb for safety's sake.

"Don't stand up!" A strong female voice called out. It reminded me of Ana, but my wife never sounded that sure of anything.

I turned around, looking for the owner of the voice. "Why the hell not?"

"Watch out, he's charging you!"

Whipped around, to see the animal pawing the ground while lowering its antlers. "What the fu-"

Before the words could erupt from my mouth, the deer came lunging at me. Grabbed it by the antlers, tried forcing it to the side. But it was enraged, and lashed out with hooves landing blow after blow to my abdomin, while jerking it's head side to side, attempting to shake out of my grasp. Where the fuck is the wolf that stalked me? Here's a steak dinner, if he only wants it. I'd buy the wolf a diamond collar if it saved me from this murderous stag. With renewed vigor, the deer attempted lunging at me while I tried keeping the head-mounted weapons in check. A piece of the fuzzy coating ended up in my hand, the antler now free.

With a mighty swipe of its head, it landed a blow to my middle. Felt hot and cold at the same time, as my now-empty hands clung to my middle. Looked down and noticed my guts falling out. Oh fuck. A gun-shot sounded. Was I still alive? Was it the game warden that warned me not to stand? Cold seeped into me, and I began falling to my knees.

Oh fuck.

All I wanted was my wife.

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

Made this chapter extra long to make up for me being on vacation and not updating for a while. Rest assured, gentle readers, that I'm not quitting this tale, and while it would seem this could be the climax and near-ending, I decided Ana's going to get a delightful interlude with Mr. O'Malley. That's going to be several erotica-filled chapters. But first there's matters to attend. Stay tuned for next chapter!

Special invite for regular readers! This novel, being so divergent from the original text (characters, situations) could very well be a stand-alone with some minor tweaks. So that's what I'm doing. New tale, based on this one, with more chapters and sex! If you'd like a sneak peak at this novel, let me know via PM.

Thanks for reading this far!