Chapter 36
Ellen comes bursting into the room as soon as Dean opens it. Her expression is seething with anger. Dean hasn't seen her this much angry. He remembers one time when he was at the Road House, and someone was hitting on Jo persistently. That was the first time when Dean had seen Ellen seriously pissed, and not just in a jovial way. Dean had thought that he would never want to be in the way of her anger. Now, though, it looks like he is definitely going to be experiencing first hand. She is looking at him with hard eyes.
"You better tell me what's going on here and why your father called me.?" She asks in a seething yet low tone. Any lesser man would turn tail when confronted with this. Dean's hackles rise when she mentions his father.
"Dad called you?" Dean asks, dumbfounded. Sam is a solid presence behind him.
"Yes. And you need to tell me why would he accuse me of brain washing you or some equal crap like that." Ellen says, raising a finger in Dean's direction. It hits Dean now. Dad called Ellen, thinking something was up because Dean refused to go on the hunt. "I have taken a lot of crap from both of you. Now tell me what the hell is going on." She asks, her voice rising an octave higher.
"I am sorry Ellen for what happened with Dad, and for whatever he said. I am sure its nothing personal against you or anything. It is between me and Dad, and I will handle it." Dean tries to say it in his most placating tone.
"Oh, No. I don't care who is involved or not. It reached me, and I want to know. And that's not the only thing you need to tell me." Ellen says pointedly,clearly driving her point across that she also wants to know about what happened earlier in the living room between him and Sam. Dean doesn't know if he wants to breach that topic yet or not. But she deserves knowing why John called her.
So he tells her that John called to tell about a hunt and he isn't going. The expression on Ellen's face is priceless.
"But, why the hell wouldn't you go on a hunt?!" She asks, bewildered. Anger seeming to take a back step. And Dean is really tired of it. He doesn't want to explain to anyone why he doesn't want to do something, or wants to do something. Its his Goddamn life, he can do whatever he wants.
"Its my business Ellen. I don't need to tell you the reason." Dean says in a tight voice in a voice that clearly conveys that mind your own business. Ellen nods curtly, but then looks at Sam. Dean picks up some kind of knowing look in her eyes.
"That's fine. But you need to leave from here. I don't want your father barging making a spectacle here." She says and Dean nods.
"No. Dean won't go anywhere." Sam says from behind, speaking for the first time.
"Oh yeah? Why is that?" Ellen says in a condescending tone and this is exactly what Dean hates. How Sam is treated here, by his own family.
Sam shoots a withering glare towards Ellen.
"I don't want him to leave." Sam says simply. Stepping a little more closer to Dean, emphasising his point.
"That brings us to my first question. Tell me now how you guys know each other and what's going on between you two." Ellen says pointing her fingers in both their directions one by one. Dean looks at Sam. Sam is looking back. Sam has a determined expression on his face and he gives a subtle nod to Dean and then faces Ellen.
"Like I said before Mom, he is my friend." Sam then turns to Dean, his eyes soft now.
"He is my best friend." He says and something warm curls in Dean's chest at hearing those words. Sam has never accounted Dean as a best friend. And Dean can't help the smile that stretches on his lips at hearing those words and Sam's lips curl upward in a small smile of his own, and then he is returning his gaze towards Ellen who is looking at a loss now. Her expressions dumbfounded like she can't believe what Sam just said. Dean understands. She doesn't know a first thing about them. She couldn't fathom the idea of them being friends, no less best friends.
"How in the world does that happen?" She asks, her voice laced with a strange mix of anger and confusion.
"Dean is a hunter, and you are in college Sam." She says pointedly at Sam like Sam is missing the whole point. Dean wants to laugh at the bizarre situation. Because yeah, she is kind of right. Dean sees Sam suppressing a smile and wishes that Ellen didn't see that. That would just not be best in the already bizarro situation they have going here.
"Yeah Mom, I know that. But.." Sam sighs, sliding his hand on his face.
"It just happened. Dean came to visit me once when he was passing by." Sam says, and Dean controls a smile at that remembering it. Because he wasn't passing by, he specially went there to see Sam. Passing by is just an excuse Sam is making up because Dean remembers how he had just blurted out the truth about wanting to see Sam. It feels ages ago.
"I need more than that Sam." Ellen says in a tight voice, barely reigning her anger. Sam doesn't hide the sigh of frustration that leaves him. Dean decides to lighten up Sam's burden.
"I used to visit Sam whenever I happened to pass by California. And you know, just sort of became friends." Dean says gesturing with his hands between him and Sam. Ellen is opening her mouth to say something, question clear in her eyes when Dean interrupts.
"And what happened in the living room, it just happened because something wasn't okay between us." Dean says this in a slow voice, remembering what had happened. Sam is looking on the floor, his face down turned a little.
"But everything is okay now, so you won't see fist flying anymore." Dean says this more for the sake of Sam than Ellen. Dean can see Sam practically relax at hearing those words.
Ellen is looking between them.
"Best friends..huh.." Ellen says, shaking her head like she doesn't completely believe what Sam and Dean just said. Dean is waiting for something more, but after a few seconds, nothing comes like he expected.
"Okay, whatever you say." Ellen says after a few moments. Just when he thinks that everything is done, Jo walks into the room, seemingly oblivious of everything.
"Hey Mom, I need your help at the..." She trails off when her her eyes fleet up to Dean, and instantly lights up. It means she didn't know Dean was here.
"Dean." Jo grins and walks up to him, wrapping her arms around him. Dean is standing stiff but he manages to bring his hands around her, not wrapping, just touching. He completely misses Sam's frown and his whole posture going taut.
"I didn't know you were here. I thought you had forgotten about us.." Jo says, extracting herself and mock punching him on the shoulder. She then passes a cutting glance at Sam and Dean feels anger all over again.
"What are you doing here.. Come on let's go to the bar.." She says, pulling Dean by the elbow but Dean doesn't move from his spot. He removes her hands gently from his elbows.
"I have something to talk with Sam." Dean says in a tight tone. Jo looks at Sam then, her eyes getting hard as soon as they land on Sam.
"What did he do?" Jo sneers at him and Dean feels a surge of anger coursing through him just at the implication of what she is saying. He feels fingers wrapping around his elbows and immediately recognises it as Sam's. Just the mere touch of Sam goes a long way in calming Dean. Ellen is just looking between them.
"If you guys don't mind, I need a moment with Dean." Sam says looking at Ellen and Jo and Dean sees Jo eyes practically bugging out. She is about to say something when Ellen interrupts her.
"Let them talk, Jo. I will tell you outside. Let's go." Ellen says while pulling Jo by the elbow towards the door when Jo says.
"I don't want to leave Dean here alone with Sam." Jo spits and Dean feels Sam's body tense.
"What the hell do you mean?" Sam asks in a low, tight voice. Anger pouring from his whole posture.
"I don't want anything to happen to Dean." Jo says like its the most obvious thing in the world. Ellen calls Jo's name in a warning tone but Jo seems to ignore it. Her whole attention focused on Sam, her face hard. But Dean has had enough.
"You need to stop Jo. NOW !" Dean says glaring at Jo. His hands in a tight fist. Jo looks towards him and her face changes to more soft lines.
"You don't know Dean. Sam is not someone you would want to be around." She says like explaining something to a child about not doing something bad. Only Sam's hand tightening on his elbow is keeping Dean in his place.
"I think you should leave from here, Jo." Sam says in a barely concealed anger.
"Not interested myself. Just taking Dean." Jo says, going for his elbow again but Dean takes a step backward.
"I will see you later Jo." Dean says to Jo and then turns to Sam pointing his head in the direction of the door with an expression that clearly indicates that we need to get the hell out of here. Sam nods in agreement and walks out the door without saying anything to either of them.
"I guess I will see you guys later." Dean says while trailing behind Sam, leaving an angry Jo and Ellen who is trying to not show her disapproval.
Sam and Dean start making their way outside the bar. Dean sees Ash behind the counter for the very first time but doesn't have the time to stop by. He just waves Ash and goes outside. Sam is waiting by Dean's car, leaning on the passenger side and he gives a small smile when he sees Dean.
"Man... I really don't understand why the hell you put up with them.." Dean says as soon as he reaches Sam. Sam huffs in amusement.
"I don't. That's why I don't come here normally."
"But the time you decided to come was when I wanted to see you..huh.." Dean says standing beside Sam. There sides touching.
"I am sorry about that." Sam says again and Dean rolls his eyes.
"We have already covered that. What do you say we get out from here?" Dean asks in a hopeful tone and Sam grins. They sit in the car in almost synch, the sounds of closing doors echoing in the parking area. Dean just drives straight opposite from the Road House. They don't say anything. The silence is not awkward or anything. Its more like contemplative, like they are trying to make sense of the things that just went down in under an hour. After almost thirty minutes of driving, Dean stops the car on the side of the road. Its dark already. Dean comes out of the car and leans on the hood, Sam following behind and coming to stand beside Dean. The sun has been down a long time now. The sky is almost clear, apart from bits of starts scattered here and there lightening the sky in a beautiful landscape. Sam would know their names, the nerd he is.
"I am sorry for what happened there." Sam says, his voice echoing in the emptiness of the place, but still managing to keep the calm and peace of the silence.
"Wasn't your fault. You aren't the only one who has family issues." Dean says winking at Sam, but Sam just nods solemnly like its not funny for him.
"So..." Dean says, suddenly feeling nervous. Images of him and Sam appearing in his mind before Ellen came knocking in the room.
"Were you planning to call me anytime soon..?" Dean finally asks the question that has been eating him since he talked to Sam, but didn't have the time to ask since there seemed to be more pressing matters..like taking care of Sam and yeah..all that.
"Yeah..I wanted to but.." Sam says.
"But." Dean implores after a few moments when Sam hasn't spoken yet.
"I..I was afraid." Sam says in a small voice. Dean is just about to ask afraid of what when Sam speaks up.
"What I did to you.." He says while shuffling on his feet.
"It was so selfish. You had every right not wanting me to see again. So I was trying.." But Dean interrupts Sam with a finger on his lips.
"That's what I was talking about earlier, just ask me before deciding anything. Okay?" Sam nods but says, "Its not that easy.."
"Yeah...I know.. Believe me.." Dean says, remembering all the times he had the same fears.
"But we can at least try.. You know.." Dean says and Sam nods almost imperceptibly.
They stand there, leaning on the hood of the car in the quietness of the surroundings. Dean turns to look at Sam and sees Sam's head slightly tipped upwards looking at the sky. His face is silhouetted by the moon light from above. He is looking majestic. He is looking absolutely beautiful in the moonlight that it takes Dean's breath away. Like if Sam is reading his thoughts, he turns towards him and their faces are close once again. Dean is lost in the depth of those hazel eyes, rest of the world fading away in the moment. Sam is looking back at him with that intense gaze of his.
"Dean.." He whispers bringing his hand to touch Dean's face.
"I..." He breaks off. Dean is looking at him expectantly, expecting what? Dean doesn't know himself. He just knows something is building. Has been building since the first time they met. Dean wants Sam. He has long established that. And he doesn't want to lose it. He had accepted that he absolutely doesn't want to live without Sam, actually, he can't do that. Not anymore. He is not even thinking this out of nowhere. He has had experience, more than once. He remembers how that felt. He was feeling that till today. So he remembers, but it feels like a long time now, already.
He waits for Sam to say something. He can see Sam's expressions changing, even in the low light. Can practically feel the wheels turning inside Sam's head if the lines on his forehead are anything to go by. He will wait, not just now, or a day. He will wait for Sam till he figures out what he wants.
Dean doesn't know how his life has come at this point where one person has become his whole world. He never thought anyone could be so important for him apart from his family. Relationships were always a hassle from which Dean had stayed away. But now, he realises, he was not actually staying away. There was no one worth pursuing it for. Now, as he sees Sam's face with a myriad of emotions playing on them, he thinks he would give anything to have a chance with him.