Part 34 – Jarvey Appreciation Day

As soon as the Marauders stepped out of the Tower, Fabian Prewett clasped an enormous hand around Remus's thin shoulder, shook the lad harshly, and demanded, "Where's your bloody sister?"

Remus didn't as much as flinch at the rough treatment. He did, however, sigh, "Lost her already, have you?"

Not the least bit amused, Fabian growled, "Gid swears up and down he saw her into the Tower last night. None of the wards were broken-"

"About those," James interrupted, "Can you maybe switch to something that doesn't seal all the windows shut? It's hot as Hades in there, and cooling charms aren't doing much good."

Fabian ignored the climate-control complaints, continuing, "This is not my fault! Fucking Gid must've dozed off! I've only been here an hour and a half, and I haven't taken my eyes off the damn portrait!"

There was a scandalized humph! from the Fat Lady, who apparently was not fond of being described in such a manner.

Dorcas Meadowes stepped through a moment later. She frowned at the assembled Marauders. "Where's your bloody sister?" she demanded of Remus, who probably would've laughed a lot harder had he not spent most of the night hyperventilating and dodging questions about his twin's secret past and possible psychic powers.

"Uh..." Sirius drawled, scrambling to come up with a suitable cover story, "You just missed her."

The girl scowled, her light blonde hair still slightly damp but pulled into a functional ponytail. She stomped off toward breakfast without another word. Presumably, Dorcas was trying to catch up with Mina.

Well, who wasn't?

Fortunately, no matter where she went or what she did, their wayward Marauderette nearly always had the good sense to return to the castle in time for breakfast, and that day was no exception. Sirius caught sight of her toward the middle of the Gryffindor table, facing outward and munching on an apple. She wore muggle clothing—a perfectly snug jumper and jeans combination—and had a few shopping bags piled near her feet.

Sirius sat beside her, kissing her cheek and receiving only a wide smile as acknowledgment. She wasn't taking her eyes off the Slytherin table...

"Is this the real life? Is this just fantasy?"

"Caught in a landslide. No escape from reality."

This behavior made perfect sense just a moment later when the entire Slytherin House burst into a surprisingly good a cappella rendition of "Bohemian Rhapsody," with Jerome Montague up on the table prancing on his tiptoes like a ballerina.

"I see a little silhouetto of a man."

"Scaramouche, Scaramouche, will you do the fandango?"

Sirius was sure he was going to give himself a hernia if he didn't stop laughing so hard, but stopping was a lot easier said than done. He didn't know what was funnier, the Slytherins' burly seventh-year beater (who Mina liked to describe as "a rhinoceros in a bad wig") performing pirouettes, arabesques, and the occasional leap (usually landing with at least one foot in a platter of breakfast food) or his housemates harmonizing in sync, occasionally popping straight up out of their seats for momentary solos of the muggle song. Who knew Snivellus could hit such a high note?

"So you think you can stone me and spit in my eye?"

"So you think you can love me and leave me to die?"

"That..." he gasped, when the song and thunderous applause finally died down and the irate snakes ignored many impressed requests for an encore in favor of trying to identify the culprit. "That was... a masterpiece."

Mina grinned. She twisted and swung both slender legs around so that she was finally facing the table. "It certainly lived up to my vision," the girl declared. At noticing her stunned roommate standing nearby, she picked up and offered one of the shopping bags. "Hey, Dorky. Here's your stuff. Sorry I didn't get it back to you right away, but I ended up a bit... sidetracked. Anyways, there's new bracelet in there to thank you for the assist, and for being such a good sport about it."

Previous annoyance evaporating in the favor of surprise, confusion, and just a hint of grudging admiration, Dorcas accepted the bag and hesitantly replied, "Er... you're welcome?"

"Miss Lupin!" McGonagall shouted, suddenly hovering over them with a look of displeasure on her weathered face.

Mina returned a charming grin. "Yes, Professor?"

Rather than accuse the girl of her rather obvious hand in the morning's entertainment, McGonagall quipped, "I trust you have a good reason for being out of uniform."

"Oh, well, I don't have class until after lunch," Mina explained, "I was hoping to spend my free period outdoors, and I didn't want to risk ruining any of my school clothes."

Perfectly logical, somewhat harmless, and rather difficult to disprove: the perfect excuse. Sirius tried not to smirk too noticeably, proud of his devious love. He only wished he wouldn't be stuck in Divination all morning so that he could join her (and presumably James) on the outdoor adventure.

Merlin knows he would've liked to join her on whatever adventure she went on the night before, but he couldn't begrudge her a chance to escape the protective detail; they'd had her in a weird mood, alternately angry and depressed, then oddly cheerful as if she was trying to overcompensate for the other two extremes, all the while ignoring the fact that she'd been cursed and brain damaged, that her brother was incapable of filling the blanks in her memory.

McGonagall wasn't buying the defense, but her understandable suspicions still had no concrete merit. Instead, the prim Scot turned slightly to address the startled auror standing near the table. "And Mr. Prewett," she drawled, "I wasn't aware we'd be seeing you this morning."

Fabian winced guiltily as he interpreted the real meaning of the statement: Aren't you supposed to be watching this crazy child? "Gid's getting a few hours sleep before he helps out in the Defense classes today," the redhead explained, "And I... guess I decided to hang out with our favorite band of delinquents."

"Aw," Mina giggled, "Prewett, you old softie."

After a huff and a snort, the professor was gone, leaving Fabian to shove his way into the seat opposite Mina. Glowering, ignoring James's shouts of protest, the auror growled, "Where were you?"

Mina beamed. "Out." She turned around and grabbed another shopping bag, announcing, "Got you a present."

A chintzy plastic lighter sailed through the air and into Fabian's hand. The redhead frowned darkly at the logo that proclaimed the item to be a souvenir from Edinburgh. "So," Fabian drawled, "Not a present as much as an opportunity to brag."

Cackling, Mina passed out presents for the rest of them as well: a book for Remus, a motorcycle part for Sirius, a bag of sweets for Pete, a pair of earrings for Mary, an odd medallion for James.

"I visited the sisters," Mina said, meaning the two nuns who had helped her over the summer; she'd written them through the muggle post a few times since coming home, and Sirius recalled that their convent was located in Edinburgh, near the magical shopping district affectionately known as Camelot. Flooing there from Hogsmeade had probably been laughably easy. "They made me pick one to take," she went on, "It's lucky or something. Something to do with Catholic saints. I don't know. I had a feeling you might like it."

James inspected the silver-colored medallion suspiciously for a few more moments before slipping the thin chain over his head and tucking the little token under his shirt. "Thanks, Sunny," he sighed.

xxXxx

His mind was at war with itself, his desire to protect Mina and his desire to remain loyal to her and the rest of their friends doing fierce battle.

Handing over the Map... he was considering handing over the Map. This was far more serious consideration than his earlier thoughts on the subject. But that was before Mina had plotted her daring jail break.

He just wanted her to stay where she was safest, at least until they had a better idea of what, if anything, was after her. What, if anything, was going on in her own mysterious mind. Was that really so much to ask?

"Prongs!" the girl shouted, scowling a bit in annoyance as she jostled his shoulder, "Are you listening to me?"

James sighed heavily and shook his head. "Sorry. What?"

Rolling her eyes, Mina replied, "I said we should go find Firenze. He's probably bored while his mother is teaching classes."

"Actually," the bespectacled young man argued, "I thought we could go sit under the beech tree for a while. Y'know... talk."

Mina gave him a look laced with fond frustration. "Prongs," she complained, "You're not going to nag, are you?"

Starting to reach the limit of his patience, James argued, "Not nag. Merely express legitimate concerns about your stubborn insistence on putting yourself in needless danger."

"Bloody hell," she laughed, "You sound like Moony." Still, she let herself be steered into the shade of the massive tree.

They lay side by side for a few minutes, silently sprawled in the grass, breathing in the cool October breeze and gazing up at the dappled sunlight coming through the dense canopy. James tried several times to properly phrase his next comment, but no words seemed adequate.

Finally, Mina grew impatient and insisted, "Can we go find Renz now? Not that this hasn't been relaxing, but I'm getting chilly-"

"I don't want you to die." It wasn't the first time James had expressed this desire. He doubted it would be the last. But the lad still held out hope that maybe, just maybe his almost-sister might finally see some sense. That she might finally realize reasonable measures to ensure her safety weren't such a terrible infringement on her precious freedom.

She smiled softly. "I don't plan on dying, at least not during this century," the girl replied, "And I'll certainly battle to my last breath before giving anyone the satisfaction of killing me. Stop worrying. I highly doubt the Dark Lord is after me, and even if he is, he'd definitely look here before a convent in Edinburgh. I was probably safer last night than I am right now. Even with the BIG GINGER LUMOX-" (she said that part louder for the benefit of her unseen protector) "-following me around like some silly stalker."

That... did not make James feel much better. He sighed, going limp as Mina stood and attempted to haul him to his feet.

"Let's go, you daft twit," she demanded, laughing but rapidly reaching the point when she wouldn't be any longer. Already the girl's playful roughhousing threatened to lose him an arm and was probably putting grass-stains all over his back.

Thankfully, a shout that sounded like the very centaur she wanted to see distracted Mina from the harassment and left James to his own devices for a precious few moments. He really did his best to take his friend's advice and stop worrying, but... well...

He stood and brushed off and decided that in order to stop worrying he might have to play a little prank. With practiced ease, James jumped and grabbed the lowest branch and hauled himself into the tree. He found a familiar spot that offered the best camouflage and waited for his opportunity to jump down and scare the girl.

A flicker of strange movement in the leaves right in front of him was all the warning he received before something struck him directly in the chest.

xxXxx

James certainly wasn't the first, only, or last Marauder to fall out of the beech tree; the bespectacled chaser was, however, the first, only, and last to fall out of the beech tree because he was being attacked by a boomslang.

Of course, Mina didn't realize right away that's what was happening. In the middle of a conversation, she noticed Firenze's sharp gaze dart over her shoulder, and the girl turned just in time to see James tumbling arse over elbows through the leaves, cracking his head against a branch, and hitting the ground with a thud.

Then he screamed like a little girl and hurled what looked like a long piece of thin green tubing as far as he could.

The first thing Mina did after sprinting to her friend's side and confirming that (other than a nice goose egg on his forehead) he seemed mostly alright was investigate the tubing. Which was not tubing but a snake. She apprehended the escaping serpent with a leash spell. From the bright green coloration and black striped markings, she was able to almost immediately identify the creature as a male boomslang: a venomous tree snake whose skin was often used as a potion ingredient, most notably in Polyjuice.

Of course, none of that information explained what the hell a cold-blooded reptile native to sub-Saharan Africa was doing in a beech tree in Northern Scotland.

"Did it bite you?" Mina demanded, worried but not panicked. Boomslang venom was nasty but rather slow-acting.

Wheezing and apparently still trying to catch the breath that had been knocked out of him when gravity roughly prevailed, James didn't answer.

Fabian appeared a moment later and conjured a terrarium to store the incongruous snake.

"Prongs," she scolded, doing several hurried head-to-toe visual inspections, "It's poisonous. Did it bite you?"

Dirty and scratched, obviously sore, the lad gasped pitifully and managed to shake his head.

"Are you sure?" Mina pressed. She couldn't see any blood or puncture marks, but that didn't necessarily mean the injury wasn't present. "Hemotoxin, Prongs," the girl threatened, "You will bleed to death from every orifice."

"C-Charming way t-to go," he panted.

Mina rolled her eyes, and, rather than continue to argue with the likely concussed and possibly poisoned lad, she conjured a stretcher.

But James was apparently set on being as difficult as possible and fought blearily against remaining horizontal. "M'fine," he slurred. He tried to sit up and found himself appropriately restrained.

The small contingent of witch, auror, centaur, snake, and dazed prat made their way to the Hospital Wing. After Mina explained what had happened, Madame Mary got to work right away with the diagnostic spells.

Aside from a concussion, the spells revealed a small amount of boomslang poison in James's system. Madame Mary didn't think it would've been fatal but certainly unpleasant without the intervention of a blood-purifying potion. She also summoned Slughorn so that he could brew some specific anti-venom, just to be on the safe side.

While they waited for the Potions Master, the nurse searched James for the source of the bite, which he was still insisting he didn't have.

And he turned out to be right: when James removed his shirt, Mina couldn't help gasping at the sight of the medallion she'd given him because it was dripping a substance that looked suspiciously like boomslang venom.

James stared down at himself, fascinated by the clear liquid, which seemed to have unfortunately trickled into one of many small scratches that had resulted from the tumble through the tree branches. He gaped up at his friend and, awed, stated, "The necklace stopped the snake from biting me. Sunny, how did you know?"

She felt her face turning red, anger and confusion and fear vying for space in her thoughts. "I didn't!" the girl insisted, "Fuck's sake! It... it was a lucky coincidence!"

Rubbing his head, James sighed, "Mina, love, you gave this thing to me less than an hour ago, and it just saved me from a serious snake bite. You said yourself you had a feeling I might like it. Well, I bloody love it because it kept a pair of fangs out of me!"

"That doesn't mean I can see the future!" Mina responded. She was getting really fed up with this psychic nonsense, especially now that her friends were jumping on the bandwagon. "That's completely absurd! The sisters are the ones who insisted I take a necklace! I just picked the least ugly one, and I only gave it to you because I couldn't think of another present!"

Madame Mary sternly scolded, "Miss Lupin, I'll not have you shouting in my infirmary."

That was when Slughorn dragged his fat arse into the room, puffing and jiggling as he performed what was probably the best "run" he could manage. "What's the meaning of this?" he demanded, "What's the emergency?... Gustav? What are you doing with Gustav?"

After a brief moment of confusion as the group struggled to figure out what the professor was babbling about, Mina snarled, "You mean the snake? It's your snake?"

Indignant, unaware that he'd just made a huge tactical error, Slughorn responded, "Lupin, if I find out you've broken into my personal quarters-"

"You've been keeping a class-3 dangerous creature in your personal quarters?" Fabian challenged, voice low and threatening, "In a school full of young children? I assume you have an appropriate creature-handling license and the necessary permits? I believe both an exotic species permit and a poisonous species permit would be required."

Slughorn turned purple, blustering, "Well... yes... yes, of course. I mean... I have the papers... but that can't possibly be the emergency. We should... we should handle such technicalities at a later time." Obviously, he hoped such a time would be much, much later. Possibly never.

Fabian looked fit to throttle the tub of goo. "Oh, believe me," the redhead drawled, "We certainly will. Madame Mary needs you to milk the snake and brew an anti-venom, and then I'll accompany you to fetch those papers. Given the fact that your little pet escaped and attacked a student under your care, an inspection of its accommodations is also in order."

The purple coloring of Slughorn's face drained to ashen white and then sickly green. He nervously eyed the coiled boomslang in its secure tank.

"What's the matter, Professor?" Mina taunted, fully prepared to make the man who'd endangered her friend's life suffer proportionally, "Anyone with a class-3 creature-handling license should be able to milk a snake. It's a requirement, right? Since all creatures with poisonous bites or stings are considered at least class-3?"

"I-I-" the bloated walrus stammered, "Well of course I can milk a snake... I merely... don't have the steady hands I did in my youth. Perhaps Professor Kettleburn-"

Mina interrupted with a mocking snort. She snapped, "Kettleburn has a grand total of six fingers left. His hands aren't any steadier than yours, and yours are already here! Stop wasting time!"

Still, Slughorn made no effort to step even marginally closer to his own stupid pet. Bloody idiot must've only been taking the shed skins, which were less potent but still usable and conveniently renewable; very few recipes called for venom, and he was apparently too squeamish to do his own harvesting. He began arguing heatedly with Fabian and Madame Mary, and even Firenze commented quietly on how ridiculous the man was being.

Mina would've joined, but James's welfare was far more important than screaming at Slughorn (which she fully planned to do very soon, at great length and volume). While everyone else was busy, she marched over to the boomslang.

Gustav peered up at her with large black eyes, forked tongue languidly scenting the air.

After casting a spell to keep the animal as docile as possible, Mina reached into the terrarium and grabbed the snake right behind its relatively small head. She let the creature wrap its slender body around her forearm and removed it from the tank.

"Mina!" Fabian gasped when he finally noticed. He appeared close to fainting, which was a ridiculous look for a massive uniformed auror. "Bloody fucking hell! Put that thing down!"

With a smirk, the girl used her free hand to pick up a small vial and used the small vial to gentle force open Gustav's jaw. "Relax, Prewett," she drawled, carefully locating the fangs (unusually situated at the rear of the mouth) and coaxing out a few squirts of toxic saliva. "I've read some books on the procedure," the girl explained, "And it didn't sound too hard."

Gustav was returned to his terrarium; the vial of venom was handed to Slughorn. And Mina added one more malicious smile. "Better start the brew, Professor," she taunted, "Because anything that happens to James is going to happen to you as well."

Apparently too shocked and embarrassed to even bluster at being blatantly threatened, Slughorn scarpered.

Fabian went with him, seeming unconcerned about another escape attempt from Mina.

Because anyone with half a brain could tell she wasn't leaving James's side.

xxXxx

When Slughorn was "unable to locate his paperwork," Fabian issued a heavy fine and confiscated Gustav.

Mina was sure that Slughorn was going to find a way to blame her. Never mind that the tubby bastard kept a dangerous illegal pet in an unsecure cage, that the pet not only escaped, but also slithered all the way from the dungeon to the outdoors and then attacked a hapless student: somehow, Mina was going to be placed at fault in the old man's pickled mind.

Pouting, James argued, "I am not hapless." He'd only needed an hour or so to sleep off his minor concussion but thankfully still seemed too groggy to once again bring up that seer nonsense.

Mina chuckled. She kicked her feet up on his cot and tilted her chair onto its back legs. "Figure of speech, Jim," answered the girl, "Unknot your knickers."

He rolled his eyes, complaining, "Maybe I could if you weren't constantly trying to give me heart attacks. Reaching your hand in a bloody snake cage. Moony is going to put you over his knee."

"I knew what I was doing," she declared, "I spent nearly all of February reading about the procedures you have to know to get a class-5 creature-handling license. Boomslangs aren't very aggressive unless provoked or startled, and I made sure to calm it magically before I handled it. Besides, I wouldn't have gotten too badly hurt even if I had made a mistake. I told you the venom is slow acting."

"That's not what Madame Mary said," James replied. He twisted the lucky medallion through his fingers. "She said I could've died."

Nodding, ignoring the transparent attempt to talk more about his asinine theories, Mina explained, "Only because you would've been bitten so close to your heart. A bite on my hand would've taken hours to even show symptoms. Now can we drop this please? Want to play Snap?"

The doors of the infirmary opened with a crash, and the rest of the Marauders, plus Mary and Evans, rushed through. Fabian and McGonagall followed close behind.

"Oh, James!" Evans called, nearly knocking Mina over in the rush to the startled chaser's bedside, "We just heard what happened! Are you alright?" She gently brushed his fringe away from the less swollen but still impressive bruise on his forehead.

Even McGonagall seemed bewildered by Evans's odd behavior.

James—the little shit—didn't try to disguise his glee. "Better now," he said with a flirtatious wink. He stretched and flexed, bringing Evans's attention back to his bare chest and the slightly inflamed scratch where the venom had entered his bloodstream.

Rather than rant or rave or launch into any of her usual unfavorable reactions to such comments and behavior, Evans merely rolled her eyes and good-naturedly commented, "I should've known. That thick head of yours can stand up to just about any punishment."

McGonagall cleared her throat. "Mr. Potter," she began, "I'm glad to see that you're recovering. And Miss Lupin, I would award you points for your quick thinking in apprehending the boomslang and transporting your friend to medical attention, but I'm afraid I would have to take them right back. Honestly, there was no reason for you not to wait for a qualified adult to deal with the snake."

"Aside from shaming Slughorn and making sure his irresponsibility, ineptitude, and cowardice didn't kill James?" Mina challenged. She grumpily watched the spectacle of Evans fussing over the black-haired teen.

It seemed as though the professor didn't have an appropriate response for that analysis. "Yes, well," the prim Scot began, hastily changing the subject, "Mr. Potter will remain here until the anti-venom is administered. The rest of you may stay through lunch, but I still expect you to attend your classes."

Though she wasn't happy, Mina didn't object. After all, James was out of danger, and since Mary and Pete didn't take Arithmancy or Runes, they would both have the afternoon free to keep the lad company.

But perhaps that was a bad idea. James launched into the tale and, with surprisingly few embellishments, managed to make a horribly convincing case for the existence of Mina's prophetic abilities.

Clearly, she needed to find a way to force him to keep his seditious conjecture to himself.

"Wow," Peter gaped, "That's... wow..." He gave her a strange look, contemplative but almost... accusing.

Everyone else just seemed a bit stunned. McGonagall quickly excused herself, and Mina had a very bad feeling that she was going to be spending yet another afternoon in the headmaster's office.

xxXxx

According to seventh-year Gryffindor Robert Little (who had attended a Catholic primary school), the figure on James's medallion was called Saint Paul the Apostle. Wearing his image was supposed to provide protection against poisonous snake bites.

Mina refused to speak to James for nearly two days. Except, of course, to berate him for being a gullible moron.

"Bad enough Dumbledore is still trying to convince me to let the Unspeakables dissect my brain," the girl grumbled, straddling Sirius's lap and complaining between heated kisses, "I can't believe Prongs actually bought their bullshit."

Sirius sighed. He really didn't want to upset Mina, but she was being uncompromisingly difficult. "Prongs is worried about you," the young man stated, "And he's not the only one... Mary seems to think you haven't been sleeping."

With a dark scowl, Mina declared, "Mac's big fat mouth is going to earn her a big fat lip."

"We had a deal-"

"I've been taking the Sleeping Draught," she admitted, no longer making eye contact as she fiddled with his open collar, "It's just not... not working all that well."

Silently, Sirius waited for more information and was not disappointed.

Mina defended, "The deal was that I'd take the potion if I hadn't slept in three days, and that's what I've been doing. It's not my fault that I developed such a high tolerance. I... I even went to the quack nurse, but she said she can't brew my doses any stronger or they'll end up toxic. It still works about half the time, for a few hours at least."

Sirius sighed. He moved his thumbs in soothing circles against his girl's elegant hipbones. "I know it's not your fault love," he murmured, nuzzling her neck, "But I wish you would've told me. I can't help if I don't have all the facts."

"I'm fine," she insisted.

"You're not," Sirius insisted right back. He gazed up at Mina, searching her sullen, exhausted expression for some sign that she might be persuaded to do more than listen to and then ignore what her boyfriend was about to say. "Mina," he sighed, "Why are you so sure you're not a seer?"

The girl snapped, "Because assuming seers exist at all, I would know-"

"How?" Sirius challenged, "Seers don't remember their own prophecies. If you had a vision while you were alone, then no one would be able to tell you what happened. And that's if you were actually awake. You have nightmares all the time, right? And you told me you never remember them. That's not normal-"

"Stop," Mina demanded. She looked more angry than hurt, but the fact that she looked hurt at all was a very bad signal. "You've all decided that your little theory is true, and now you're twisting everything to fit! I know I'm not bloody normal! That doesn't mean I'm psychic!"

Sirius tried to comfort his girl by wrapping his arms more firmly around her slender body. "I didn't mean it like that, Sunshine," he murmured, "Screw normal, but it's not... not healthy. Not something that should be happening to you. And knowing what you know now about the fact that you were cursed, can't you at least stay open to all the possibilities? Even the ones you hate?"

She thought for a few moments, not relaxing into the embrace (to show she was ready to listen and compromise and be generally reasonable) or pulling away (to show that she wasn't ready to listen, that she didn't want to speak with Sirius again until after she'd committed several acts of arson and vandalism, possibly an assault or five).

Unfortunately, before Mina could come to a decision, the door to their empty classroom opened and revealed two professors. Doing a poor job of how impressed she was by their large transfigured couch, McGonagall frowned at her students' position upon it. "Miss Lupin, Mr. Black," she said, "I would prefer not finding you two in such close contact without suitable supervision. You are both underage, and-"

"And keep it in your pants on school grounds," Kettleburn contributed. The extensively scarred old man took another few limping steps, and, though his perpetual scowl did not change, the look in his bloodshot eyes seemed like interest that bordered on respect. "Lupin," he snapped, "Front and center."

Mina climbed reluctantly off Sirius's lap but didn't bother hurrying or straightening her crooked, untucked shirt. "Is this about my project proposal?" she offered, smirking, "If you won't let me study jarveys, then how about cerberi? I know a bloke who can get me a puppy by the end of the week-"

"I'm going to pretend I didn't hear that," Kettleburn declared, his closely cropped gray hair glinting in the nearby candlelight. "And it's irrelevant anyways. I accepted your proposal. You and the other NEWT students will have your specimens delivered next week. Preliminary research will be assigned tomorrow."

Beaming, Mina chuckled, "Wicked."

She'd been extremely excited at the prospect of her very own jarvey, a creature that looked like an overgrown ferret and was capable of speech—as long as the speech was rude, profane, or otherwise insulting.

Sirius was still upset he hadn't thought of the animal first. He would be stuck studying the moke, a small lizard that could shrink itself at will but possessed no other particularly interesting talents.

"But we can discuss that and more in your academic conference," Kettleburn continued, "C'mon now. Daylight's burnin."

Frowning, Mina drawled, "Uh... academic conference?"

McGonagall huffed. "Really, Miss Lupin," she muttered, "You must start paying closer attention to your mail. I sent you the notice for the meeting just this morning."

Sirius snorted as he remembered a school owl flying quite near their group during breakfast but hastily turning away, letter undelivered, when Mina loudly threatened to suffocate James with scrambled eggs.

Ignoring the outburst, their prim Head of House continued, "A few of your professors have recently had some concerns about your classroom performance. After speaking with each other on the subject, we decided to invite you to the conversation and hopefully resolve some of the more glaring issues."

The apprehension Mina showed probably had nothing to do with actual grades and everything to do with how her brother would react to this sort of intervention. "I don't have any issues," she argued heatedly, "My homework is always on time, my tests scores are impeccable, and my mouth stays shut during lessons unless I'm directly asked questions. What more do you want?"

"We will discuss all this in the meeting-"

"I'm not going to any bloody meeting until you explain why the hell you're all so concerned about my universally stellar grades!"

McGonagall did not look happy. Actually, she looked like she was forcing herself to count to ten—possibly in another language—before trusting herself to speak. Finally, the straight-backed professor declared, "Your grades are indeed stellar, and that seems to be why it took us so long to notice that you could be doing even better. Exactly how far ahead of the curriculum have you currently studied?"

Still a bit miffed, Mina shrugged and responded, "My homework is finished past Christmas, if that's what you mean."

"So," McGonagall continued, "You work months ahead and then move on to pursuits of your own choosing, which result in various disruptive disasters, including booby-trapped trunks and unsupervised snake-handling? Is that about that gist of it?"

The girl shrugged again. "I suppose," she agreed hesitantly, "But I still don't see the problem. Who cares when my homework gets done as long as it gets done? And I'm fairly certain you're not allowed to tell me what I can and can't read in my spare time."

"But we can suggest and provide guidance for your independent study projects," McGonagall pointed out. There was a kind, rather proud smile beginning to bloom on her lined face. "The consensus is that by knowing and directing your interests, the other professors and I can help alleviate what amounts to academic boredom while at the same time ensuring that your admirable intellectual curiosity doesn't result in you or any other students being placed in unnecessary danger."

Mina seemed surprised but excited.

Sirius didn't think it was a good idea; his girlfriend already didn't sleep, already used the extra reading as a diversion when she couldn't. It was far more important for her to deal with her insomnia rather than give her more incentive and means to ignore the problem.

Or maybe he was just being overprotective. Maybe increased mental exertion would actually help deplete more of the girl's endless energy and let her sleep and, perchance, dream.

Either way, Sirius knew it wasn't really his choice. And the second Kettleburn suggested that Mina's extra projects with him could result in the girl earning a class-5 creature-handling license by the end of seventh year, Sirius also knew that Mina had made her decision.

xxXxx

"Would you quit pouting?" Mina snarled, "You're acting like an idiot."

Sirius continued to sulk, arm wrapped firmly, rather possessively around the girl's waist. "Excuse me for not liking the idea of having lunch with my girlfriend's ex."

For what felt like the hundredth time that Saturday, Mina rolled her eyes. She argued, "Bell and I never dated. We never even kissed, so I don't think he counts as an ex. And we're not having lunch with him. I'm going to meet him at the Broomsticks, let him apologize, and then go back to the castle to meditate. Dorcas found a cool new technique, and I promised I'd try it with her."

Sirius whined, "But it's Hogsmeade! We're supposed to do something fun!"

"What we did this morning wasn't fun enough for you?" Mina challenged, voice low and sultry as her hand wandered to her boyfriend's back pocket.

Sirius spluttered a bit, hastily insisting, "No! No! That was plenty fun!"

"Good," Mina replied, "Then stop complaining. This is going to take all of five minutes and might even get McDougal to quit cringing every time he sees me. Not that I really mind, but all his cowering and stammering add an intolerable amount of extra time to the planning committee meetings."

The black-haired hunk agreed with a quiet chuckle but still didn't have the good sense to cease his protests. "But don't you need something to wear to the Ball?" he murmured, pressing his lips against her forehead, "I'm available all afternoon if you'd like to model a few options."

Though Mina giggled and leaned into the steady embrace, she reported, "Sorry, Paddy-cakes. I bought a costume while I was in Edinburgh. And aside from the fact that I think you'll approve, you aren't getting any hints about what it is."

Sirius spent the remainder of the walk incorrectly guessing Mina's costume choice and even daydreaming about a few of the more revealing options (dominatrix, harem girl, and pirate wench seemed to be the favorites). This distraction luckily kept the lad from being too rude when they finally encountered David Bell.

The last time Mina had seen the then-seventh-year Ravenclaw, he'd just been stopped (barely) from strangling her to death. He'd apparently been suffering a great deal from the carnage he witnessed during the Diagon attack that, at the time, was less than a year behind them. The charming dimples and bright brown eyes that once made girls swoon had turned to lifeless pupils sunk into an emaciated skull, not to mention the alcohol problem he'd done a rather poor job hiding.

However, the David Bell who greeted them in the Three Broomsticks was transformed. He certainly didn't look anywhere near as carefree as he did before the summer of 1975, but the young man had regained his health and vigor. He stood as they approached, smiling hesitantly and murmuring, "Hi. Thanks for coming."

"Sure," Mina said with a shrug, "Any excuse to lock my bodyguard in a broom cupboard."

Bell didn't get the joke, but Sirius seemed to enjoy it. Hell, he'd helped corral Fabian into the nice little trap.

"Right..." the blonde drawled, motioning to the two empty seats at their four-person table.

The fourth person was none other than his sister, Chloe, a slender sixth-year Hufflepuff. She'd been holding a bit of a grudge for what their family perceived as Mina's direct guilt in David's downward spiral. Chloe continued to glare as her brother struggled with what was obviously going to be a genuine, rather heartfelt apology.

And Mina was perfectly happy to let him apologize all he wanted. However, she was not going to sit around and allow his slag of a sister glare at her until then. "So," Mina cheerfully chirped, "Who's ready to get hammered? I'm buying."

"That is not funny!" Chloe exploded, "David is in recovery, and you shouldn't be joking about-"

"I can joke about whatever the hell I want," Mina replied, "Nobody has the balls to stop me. You, on the other hand, are going to quit giving me the evil eye, or I am most assuredly going to make you."

As expected, Chloe shut right up. David sent her to the bar to retrieve a round of pumpkin juice. Mina convinced Sirius to go help. "Sorry about that," David said with a sigh, "My family has been very supportive, but sometimes they can be a bit too supportive, if that makes any sense."

"Ya," laughed Mina, "I do have experience with overprotective siblings."

They shared a chuckle and then lapsed into a moment of somewhat awkward silence. Finally, David took a deep breath and began, "I'm so thrilled you agreed to talk to me. Attacking you is one of the things I'm most ashamed of doing. Really just the point when I reached rock bottom. I won't bother making excuses because only my own bad decisions led me to that moment. I'm truly sorry for hurting you, and for every cruel word I said. I hope you'll forgive me but understand if you can't."

"Don't worry about it," Mina answered, shrugging, "You weren't the first person to try to kill me, or the last. Hell, you didn't even get the closest to succeeding." Holding a grudge over an event she barely ever thought about, against a boy who wasn't even in his right mind when it happened would be way too much hassle. Besides, she'd always been a sucker for sincere apologies.

David laughed uncomfortably. He murmured, "Well, that's... good? I mean, not about people trying to kill you, but... uh... thanks." After a brief pause, the young man continued, "Do you mind if I ask... I mean, the attack. I completely fell apart, and that was just from what I saw while I was hiding from danger. The nightmares alone... But you were actually tortured. You had it so much worse than I did, and you seemed to handle yourself a lot better."

Mina wanted to make a sarcastic remark about how David hadn't really asked a question. However, the young man was clearly still a bit fragile and trying desperately to pull away from self-destruction. She would have to be cruel not to impart her wisdom on the subject. "Like I said," Mina explained, "You weren't the first person to try to kill me. Those Death Eaters weren't either. I guess I just have a lot of experience dealing with attempts on my life and the fallout as well. My brother and friends also helped a lot."

A little surprised (probably at the first part of the answer), David nodded and agreed, "I've already figured out how big a mistake I made by trying to deal with everything on my own. My therapist is a squib, and she's always ranting about magicals not having enough of a system in place to deal with mental and emotional issues. If that attack had been in the muggle world, all the victims likely would've undergone extensive counseling. Instead Mungo's just cast a few spells, doled out a few potions, and sent us on our way."

"It is kind of a messed up," Mina remarked, thinking about Mary and the counseling she should've gotten after the incident with Mulciber. Thinking about her own scarred mind. "Just because magic can heal the physical damage doesn't mean that all the damage is gone."

"Exactly!" David crowed. Looking rather smug, the former-Ravenclaw declared, "I'm thinking about going to muggle university to learn psychology. It would really benefit the wizarding world to have some of the theories and treatment methods made more widely available."

Smiling, Mina declared, "Well, good luck with that. I need to get back to the castle."

Though he looked slightly disappointed, David nodded and stood, holding out his hand. "Thanks, Mina," he said as they shook, "This meant a lot to me, to be able to apologize. And things went a lot better than I expected. Take care of yourself."

"Ditto," the girl replied. She took Sirius's arm and let him guide her out of the pub. Even passing Evans and McDougal as they entered couldn't distract Mina from her thoughts.

xxXxx

Since the majority of students needed the Hogsmeade visit to purchase ball gowns, dress robes, or tasteful costumes (all of which had been deemed acceptable), dates for that Saturday almost all became casual lunches that would carry over into dates for the following week's Halloween Ball.

Lily Evans and Hamish McDougal were no exception to the trend. After a brief conversation with David Bell (during which he apologized profusely to the both of them for his behavior the previous school year), the two students shared a meal at the Three Broomsticks, snogged a little in a secluded booth, and then went their separates ways for shopping.

Returning to the castle that evening, the redhead felt pleased with her purchases and the identity of her escort. Hamish was a perfect gentleman; he was handsome and smart, Head Boy and quidditch captain.

(She ignored the voice at the back of her mind that declared the dashing seventh-year Ravenclaw to be all those things but also about as interesting as a bucket of flobberworms; even more disturbingly, the voice sounded a lot like James.)

(Even more disturbingly, Lily was beginning to actually care what actual James thought on the subject.)

A moment after stepping inside her dorm, Lily stopped and blinked worriedly at the sight of Dorcas and Mina sitting cross-legged in the center of the round room, both hovering several feet off the floor. Their knees were barely touching, hands loosely clasped between them.

Lily vaguely recalled hearing the two girls make plans to spend the day practicing their meditation techniques, but... well, this seemed a bit extreme. "H-Hello?" she called.

Within seconds, Dorcas floated gently back to solid earth. Her dreamy brown eyes fluttered open, utterly serene.

Mina took fractionally longer to respond; she gasped, and her eyes went wide, and her body flailed as it fell THWACK against the stones. She groaned, clutching her likely bruised tailbone. "Who the fucking hell-"

"What time is it?" Dorcas inquired, stretching and smiling.

Lily checked a nearby clock. "Nearly six."

"Ugh," Mina grunted, "Five hours? We've been at this five hours? Fields! I thought you said you knew what you were doing!"

Vaguely affronted, Dorcas argued, "It went exactly as it was supposed to. Maintaining a meditative state for long periods is essential in Occlumency. Besides, I feel so relaxed yet energized. Don't you?"

"My bloody legs are asleep, if that's what you mean," Mina answered gruffly. She straightened the aforementioned limbs, jostling and wiggling them, punching her own thighs in an attempt to restore sensation. The girl's stomach gave a loud rumble. "And I'm fucking starving."

Dorcas giggled as she bounced gracefully to her feet. "Let's get to dinner then," the blonde declared, "Lily? You want to come?"

Rolling her neck and shoulders, popping rows of slender vertebrae, Mina announced, "I'd kill for a pizza."

Lily was unsure if that was supposed to be a threat against her but decided she didn't care; accompanying the girls to dinner would annoy the hell out of Mina, and that bit of turnabout was just too tempting.

They chatted as they walked, mostly Dorcas asking about Lily's day in Hogsmeade and Lily asking about Dorcas's progress with Occlumency lessons (even though she was jealous she hadn't been invited to participate). Following a few steps behind, Mina remained sourly silent and ate three lollipops on the way to the Great Hall, which meant (Lily had learned from James) the girl was actually chain-smoking what were hopefully just cigarettes. Lily would've admired the ingenious Charms work if she hadn't been so appalled by the blatant rule-breaking.

As Lily was nearing the bottom of the last staircase, a shoulder slammed roughly into her own. The discourteous owner of the offending body part hissed, "Watch it, mudblood!"

The next sound, which put an end to all other sound in the crowded entryway, was that of a swift, steady fist meeting a flimsy, rather crunchy bit of cartilage.

A body in Slytherin green tumbled and rolled to the bottom of the stairs, bloodied nose spurting theatrically. Lily barely had time to recognize the young man pushing himself onto all fours as seventh-year Bruno Driscoll, their House team's keeper, before Mina pushed past her and Mina's foot caught the collapsed dullard directly in his solar plexus.

"Fair warning, you pitiful reptile," Mina spat, grabbing a handful of his pale blonde hair before he could collapse again. She slammed her knee against the side of his head. "Next time I hear you use that word, I will rip out your forked tongue and make you watch while I eat it." For the first time seeming to notice all the horrified eyes upon her, the girl flashed an absolutely feral grin and chuckled, "Spread the word, because the same rule applies to absolutely everyone."

There were actual, honest-to-goodness shrieks of terror as the students stampeded in any direction that would take them farther away from Mad Mina Lupin.

Still smiling, utterly delighted with herself, the girl flung away her whimpering captive and then the remaining stem of her "lollipop." She declared, "Circe's warty tits, I must be hungrier than I thought because Tongue of Slytherin is sounding pretty delicious right about now."

xxXxx

Very surprisingly, Mina did not get in an ounce of trouble for the Driscoll incident. Bruno Driscoll, probably irate at being thrashed so publically and thoroughly by a female half-blood Gryffindor, made no complaint. No other witnesses came forward. Fabian even forgot to be mad about being locked in a broom cupboard as he declared the encounter to be none of his business and even complimented Mina on the effortless neutralization. Neither Evans nor any of the portraits whined to the teachers, which was odd, but the Marauders had bigger things to worry about.

Very unsurprisingly, Slytherin reprisal came the following day when Bruno Driscoll and the House team's beaters, seventh-year Jerome Montague and fifth-year Nicholas Higgs, attempted to accost Mary while she was exiting the library alone.

They didn't even bother with a sneak attack, probably thinking she was an easy target, a lot easier than going after Mina or the other Marauders directly. Fortunately and hilariously, the trio of snakes was proven quite wrong.

As Mary left them behind in varying states of unconsciousness, intense pain, and sterility, she called over her shoulder, "Better luck next time. You might want to bring more manpower."

Mina decreed that, forever after, October 24th would be a national holiday known as "Mac is a Bad-Arse Day." No one bothered to point out that she didn't actually have the authority to go around declaring national holidays. Which, of course, led to her declaring October 25th "Fill Slug-guts's Shoes with Pudding Day" and October 26th "Jarvey Appreciation Day."

"Isn't she the cutest?" the girl cooed, snuggling the massive gray ferret-like beast in her embrace.

The jarvey (which was named Parthenope, or affectionately just Nope) agreed in a small, clear voice, "Your mother sucks cocks in hell."

"I wish," Mina sighed happily.

Sirius made a mental note: offering profanity and cuddly animals were sure-fire ways to get his girlfriend out of a bad mood, even one induced by the shocking knowledge of devastating family secrets and probable brain damage. Apparently even one induced by the professors ganging up to supervise her extracurricular studies and the aurors watching her every move.

Watching skeptically, James pointed out, "We don't have Care until Friday. How'd you get your project already?"

"Piss off, nosy little turd." It was quite disconcerting hearing the words come out of a mouth that didn't have to move to form the sounds, that didn't even have the appropriate lips or tongue. As Mina had quite eagerly explained when she introduced her new pet, jarvey vocalizations weren't speech as much as selective mimicry made possible by extremely versatile vocal cords.

The girl grinned so hard her lovely face had to hurt. "Kettleburn got the delivery early," she began, scratching underneath Nope's chin, "And I didn't think it was fair for all the creatures to spend extra days locked up in his dingy office."

Suspicious, Remus challenged, "Er... all the creatures?"

"Cor, ever heard of a breath mint?" trilled Nope, "I can smell the last three arses you ate."

With a delighted giggle, Mina told her brother, "Don't worry your pretty little head over it."

Sirius was about ninety percent certain he was going to find a lizard in his bed.

Which was still better than the bundimun (sentient fungus), knarl (easily offended hedgehog), and streeler (giant color-changing snail) likely awaiting Remus, James, and Peter, respectively.

Frank appeared rather suddenly, directly to Mina's left; wielding reflexes none of their group expected off him, the drenched, incensed auror seized Mina's wrist and immediately slapped a tight metal cuff onto it. He vanished moments later. Apparition was impossible, so his stealth skills must've been extraordinary to produce such an effect.

Scowling, Mina tried without success to yank off her new bracelet. She commented, "Well, Frankie's sense of humor clearly hasn't improved."

"Wank-stain," Nope commented.

Remus sighed. He pinched the bridge of his nose. He demanded, "What'd you do to him?"

"Nothing," said Mina, though her expression told a different story. "Well. Ok. Maybe he's upset about the cruise I sent him on."

"Cruise?" Pete chuckled. He was only half paying attention anyways, likely lost in thoughts of his inexplicably attractive girlfriend Yvette and the plans they had to meet up later to "study."

Mina offered a stunning grin. "He may have followed me down to the little cave where the boats enter the castle when they're transporting the first-years. And he may have fallen into a boat. And it's entirely possible that I inadvertently triggered a 'scenic lake tour' function while trying to rescue him."

Filling in the gaps for himself, Sirius concluded that Frank had likely spent a few hours trapped in a small vessel as it traversed the Great Lake. Since the sky was pissing rain and the waves were quite choppy, the hours probably weren't very pleasant. Since Frank currently had the shift to physically guard Mina, the auror had also been in dereliction of his duties.

That was more than enough to make anyone a bit tetchy.

But it still didn't explain the bracelet, which Mina spent the remainder of the walk to lunch failing to remove from her arm. She was definitely getting frustrated and managing to teach Nope a whole host of new swears. But, fortunately, a distraction presented itself before any property was damaged.

"Lupin," Hamish McDougal called, frowning as he stood blocking their path to the Great Hall. When both twins folded their arms and raised a speculative eyebrow, the harassed Head Boy gruffly demanded, "Mina. I need a word."

Smirking, Mina instantly replied, "Sesquipedalian."

Blinking rather slowly, the burly brunette drawled, "Uh... what?"

(Sirius was starting to see what his friends meant when they said McDougal wasn't the sharpest 'claw in the flock.)

"Sesquipedalian," Mina repeated, "It's an adjective but can also be used in the noun form... would you prefer your word to be another part of speech?"

Remus giggled. He could be such a malicious little nerd sometimes.

McDougal flushed a bit, irate but holding his tongue lest he be on the receiving end of anymore human-pretzel curses or exploding windows... Actually, Sirius noticed, there wasn't a single pane of glass within several dozen yards, which did not seem coincidental. "I need to talk to you," McDougal corrected, "About the Ball."

Mina laughed, "Oh, well, why didn't you just say so?"

Nope gave the girl's ear a friendly nip before agreeing, "Gnome rapist."

McDougal stormed away, seemingly trusting that Mina would follow.

With a shrug, she did, but not before sarcastically remarking, "If I turn up dead from Extreme Boredom, you all know who to go after to avenge me, right?"

"So that's what a syphilitic moron looks like," Nope commented, stubby legs bouncing happily against Mina's shoulder.

Once the girl, the jarvey, and the prefect were truly gone, James didn't waste any time announcing, "I think I know what the bracelet is for."

"Oh?" Remus inquired. They had all guessed, quite correctly, that Mina wasn't going to be pleased about whatever purpose the new jewelry served.

James nodded and sighed, "It looks like a tracking and containment bracelet. Normally the aurors use them for suspects or criminals under house arrest, but Mum made me wear one when I was little because I kept running off into the woods. The bracelet kept me from going too far and let Mum find me easily whenever she wanted."

"And Frank put one of those on Mina?" Pete gaped, "Is he insane?" The podgy lad let the rhetorical query hang unanswered for a few moments before whispering, "Oh, Merlin. Who's going to tell her?"

"NOT IT!" Sirius screamed, immediately running for his life.

He loved his girlfriend and knew her better than just about anyone else did, which was how he knew that, however cheerful she may seem at the moment, Mina was one piece of bad news away from committing mass murder.

xxXxx

A tutor he had as a small boy once told James a story about how animals caught in foothold traps would sometimes chew off their own legs to escape. The tutor had calmly explained that it was a survival instinct, that all animals, including humans, are capable of just about anything when their lives are at stake. At the time, James absolutely didn't believe it was possible.

However, the crazed, desperate look in Mina's eyes as she tried to pry off the tracking bracelet suggested she was only minutes away from gnawing through her wrist. Even the raw skin, the ring of angry bruises, and the increasingly intense jolts of pain that resulted from tampering with the cuff could not deter her.

"This is barbaric!" the girl howled, rolling on the floor and using her feet in the latest attempt to force her hand through the snug metal cylinder, "And probably illegal! I'm going to kill Frank!"

"If you keep that up, all you're going to do is yank your shoulder out of its socket," Sirius scolded. Yet again, he gently gathered her into his embrace, squeezing her against his chest. "Calm down, Sunshine," he murmured, "Hurting yourself won't accomplish anything."

The girl gave one more vicious thrash before going limp in Sirius's arms. People who didn't know her might've thought she had given up; the Marauders, of course, could easily tell that Mina was merely plotting her next move...

Or... "Sunny," James asked cautiously, "When was the last time you slept?"

Her deep blue eyes flashed as she bellowed, "That has nothing to do with this! Frank tagged me like a fucking animal, and all you're worried about is-" Her own ferocious roar cut the raging Animagus off as she began smashing the cuff against the ground.

As far as James could tell, she didn't even manage to dent the thing.

"Oi, what did I tell you about screaming?" Alice commented as she slid gracefully through the door of the empty classroom. The pretty blonde auror had the good sense to stay well away from Mina.

"Piss the fuck off!" the girl replied.

A nearby window exploded with a sharp pop.

Wide-eyed, Alice watched the powdered glass frost the few desks jammed into the far corner. "How the hell are you still doing accidental magic?" she asked, "Nearly everybody grows out of it after getting their first wand. Certainly after a few years of schooling."

Mina cackled, "Not me. I guess we can add that to the growing list of reasons I'm abnormal." Her bruised arm froze in midair.

James lowered his wand, happy to no longer have to witness his almost-sister so casually injuring herself.

Of course, Mina wasn't happy with the development. She just tried harder to yank her arm free, stuck as it was in an invisible vice. Two more windows went pop. pop. The bracelet began to glow and smoke.

No. The bracelet wasn't smoking: Mina's skin was smoking as the bracelet turned red hot. The girl's angry, agonized shrieks seemed to make the walls shake.

Fortunately, Alice noticed right away and, with a yelp of alarm, she released the cuff. It clattered to the floor, blackening as it cooled and continued to fill the room with the stench of singed flesh.

The burn encompassed her whole wrist and was more than an inch thick, more than an inch of char and exposed muscle, even what looked like a small glimpse of ulna.

Valiantly, James fought to keep his dinner where it belonged as he cast the few healing spells he could.

"Bloody hell," he heard Sirius whisper, hugging his girlfriend tightly, examining her trembling arm. He whipped around to glare daggers at Alice, shouting, "What did you arseholes do?!"

Clearly as confused as the rest of them, Alice stammered, "N-Nothing! I-... I have no idea why-... it's just a standard tracking bracelet! We use them all the time, and nothing like this has ever happened before!" She approached the bit of metal, wisely not touching the thing but inspecting it for signs of... well, James didn't know exactly what.

He did know that Mina needed to be treated for third-degree burns.

James helplessly remembered skipping that chapter in his stolen healer manual. After all, the reason the lad had been reading in the first place was to learn how to deal with the after-effects of the moon, and what were the chances of a werewolf burning someone to death?

xxXxx

It was official: Madame Mary was a fucking idiot.

Despite Mina's tolerance, Sleeping Draught was the first potion the nurse poured down the irate girl's throat. Though her enraged tirade became slurred and decreased to a less eardrum-shattering volume, though her blue eyes sank to a groggy half-mast, Mina remained otherwise unaffected.

And because Mina's regular dosage was strong enough to put a Horntail in a coma, she wasn't allowed a pain potion afterward. So not only was Mina still awake and shouting her lungs out, her seared wrist still probably felt just as awful as it had while the metal cuff had cooked her skin.

Ok, actually, either Madame Mary was a fucking idiot or a fucking sadist. Sirius wasn't sure where the smart money was.

Alice was in the nurse's office, floo-calling to rouse Frank and figure out if he'd altered the bracelet (apparently a charmed rune configuration) in any way that could've caused the damn thing to practically catch fire.

Sirius honestly hoped he hadn't; they all liked Frank, and one more massive screw-up might very well end his career. And that was to say nothing of the Marauders' payback if he was proven to have willfully or negligently hurt one of their own.

In the meantime, Mina carried on raging. At the nurse, at the aurors, at the Unspeakables. Giles, Slughorn, Dumbledore. Montague, Driscoll, Higgs, McDougal. Her grandmother and mother. Basically, everyone who'd royally pissed her off at any point in the last week or two. She looked insane, but, again, the Marauders definitely detected the familiar hint of hysterical fatigue.

Threats of torture and death and desecration continued until Professors McGonagall and Lazarov strode into the room. Both similarly tall, slender women seemed shocked by the unending torrent of rather drunken-sounding profanity spewing forth from their diminutive student. However, only the vampire quickly recovered, took another few steps to Mina's bedside, and administered a sharp smack upside the head.

"Stop this ridiculous tantrum," Lazarov hissed, thankfully before Mina could get over her own shock at the rough treatment, "How do you hope to master Occlumency vhen you possess such little control over your emotions? Such foolishness vill not be tolerated in my class! I vant your mind clear, and I vant it now!"

McGonagall coughed. "Elisaveta," she scolded, though the admonishment seemed quite halfhearted (even slightly amused, daresay envious), "We do not strike the students."

Thin lips curling away from her gleaming fangs, Lazarov replied, "Not all of them. Just special cases." She turned back to Mina, snapping, "Vell? I am vaiting."

The hate in Mina's gaze probably could've been seen by a muggle in outer space. However, the sandy-haired she-wolf took several deep breaths as she forced herself to calm, and as Mina calmed, the air itself began to feel more livable.

Though no more windows had fallen victim, the girl's magic had still been pouring off her in waves.

Which perhaps explained why the nurse was moving so slow with the burn ointment: she didn't want to be near Mina.

Occupying the other side of her cot and holding her uninjured hand, Sirius pulled his girlfriend more snugly against him.

Lazarov poked the tips of two spidery fingers right in the center of Mina's forehead. "You feel your pain lessening?" the vampire challenged, almost mockingly, "Nerves report directly to the mind. A proper shield vill protect you from more than just mental attacks. Remember that next time."

Pale face rapidly approaching blankness, Mina nodded. And then she passed out cold.

Sirius cradled her limp form for a few moments before gently easing her down to the pillows. He couldn't be sure if the Sleeping Draught had finally kicked in or if the professor's eerily intense stare had been some sort of vampiric hypnosis, but either way the young man decided to be grateful that Mina was no longer suffering.

Lazarov turned toward the bedside table and picked up the blackened metal bracelet, examining it carefully for several long minutes before snorting with unmistakable derision. When Alice returned, the vampire inquired, "Your department authorized this device?"

Nodding somberly, Alice defended, "Yes. Everything was above board. Frank didn't alter any of the runes or charms-"

"He vouldn't have to," Lazarov snarled. She binned the cuff, delicately wiping her hands against her thin denim-covered thighs. "It is not designed to be vorn by... people like Miss Lupin."

A strong chill rattled the entire length of Sirius's spine.

But before he could demand further elucidation of that creepy fucking remark, James returned with Remus, Peter, and Mary. They swarmed around the bed, and, by the time Sirius could once again see where the vampire had been standing, Lazarov was gone.

xxxxxxxxxx

Ta da. Hope everyone enjoyed the update because recent family issues may severely limit when the next one will come. If it goes too long, I do have a few not-yet-posted stories I could offer as appeasement, but we shall see.

Reviews will surely lift my spirits and provide the necessary motivation to write. Anyone who spots errors/typos should please let me know. I hate finding them months later.

Much respect to anyone who knows/bothers to look up the meaning of sesquipedalian ;)