A/N

I've been gone a long time. I lost my job, first and foremost, and then I went back to school. For a long time, I couldn't even think about writing, or picking this story back up, but now I think maybe I can. I'm not promising anything, but I do have a bit more written at this point. I'm sorry it's taken so long to get to the newest update.

Oh, and for everyone who thinks they're moving super fast - remember, with their jobs, they know better than most how short life can be. I wouldn't want to waste time if I were them, not if I were so sure that I'd found The One!

PART 36

The rest of dinner went by without incident, and before too long they were back home, kicking off their shoes and dropping their purses on the counter. "So what's this big surprise?" JJ asked curiously, sitting down on the couch.

Emily smiled enigmatically. "You'll find out. Stay down here while I set it up," she said cryptically, and took the stairs two at a time to get things ready. It didn't take much preparation. A towel down on the bed, the lotion at the ready and a chair in front of the bathroom sink… Finally she called JJ to come up.

"I… don't get it," she said, confused.

"Take off your clothes, and lie down," Emily commanded softly. "I want you face down on the towel."

"Is this a sex thing?" JJ asked, but she did as she was told, a little thrill running through her.

"No, this is a 'you will never know how much I love you, but I'll do my best to convey it' thing," Emily said. She warmed the lotion in her hands, but instead of starting with JJ's neck, she started right down at the younger woman's toes.

"I have plans," Emily went on. "My plans are to spoil you, not with money, but with my hands, with my time, and with my love. I… grew up with staff, and while I don't want to focus on that, let's just say I learned to cook from the chef, I learned to clean from the maids, and I learned to do this from the masseuse. We had a hair stylist as well… let's just say, just about anything you can have done at a day spa, I can do right here in our home. And I want to pamper you."

As she spoke she had slowly and thoroughly worked her way from JJ's toes, to her feet, to her calves. JJ let out a contented sigh, relaxing as Emily tipped more lotion on her. So that was the reason for the towel, she thought to herself. "This really isn't fair," she slurred. "You're… so perfect, and I feel like I don't have anything to offer."

Emily paused. "I'm far from perfect, JJ," she said flatly. Her hands worked up past JJ's knees, massaging her thighs until the muscles were loose and pliant, but bypassing any areas which would turn this from romantic to sexual. "There's a reason no one's ever seen me as more than just a one night stand."

As relaxed as the sensations were making JJ feel, the conversation was one she desperately wanted to stay awake for. "I think that you've had bad luck," she said carefully. "The people – the men – that you've deemed worthy of your time have been stupid. You opened yourself up time and time again, and you got burned. That sucks, but it's not your fault, and I honestly don't think it's anything you're doing."

"Maybe they could sense that I'm a big old lesbian," Emily joked self-deprecatingly.

"Are you?" JJ asked curiously. Emily's hands were kneading her backside, working muscles JJ probably wouldn't have thought to have massaged until now. She moaned slightly, but kept her focus.

"I don't know." Emily shrugged. "I never loved a woman before you, and now that we're together, I know I'm never gonna love anyone else, so who knows? Maybe I'm a lesbian. Maybe you're the only girl in the world who could have turned me. We'll never know." Finally, she reached JJ's back, working on the familiar kinks at the base of her spine.

JJ felt like she couldn't move her legs. She was too comfortable, too loose and liquid, and frankly she had no desire to ever move from this position. "Back to the point… you don't still think I'm going to get sick of you and walk out, do you?" she asked gently. "I mean… you know I can't. I love you too much. I need you too much."

"I think that intellectually, and in my heart, I know you're here for keeps," Emily whispered. "But deep inside me there's still a weak, scared little thing who keeps telling me this is too good to be true. And every morning I wake up and look in your eyes that weak, scared thing gets a little smaller. And every time we make love that weak, scared thing gets a little smaller again. But it's still there, and it's going to take a long time to disappear completely."

JJ nodded. "What can I do to help?" she asked.

"Just… be with me." Taking her time, Emily finished up the massage, working all the way up to JJ's neck before massaging each of JJ's arms, ending with her hands and fingers. She let her cool down for five minutes before she got the next stage of pampering ready, then came back. "Come on, pretty girl," she cooed, helping JJ up and wrapping her in a clean towel. "Come and sit in the chair."

Once JJ was in the chair, Emily gently tipped her back and began running warm water over JJ's hair. She took the time to massage JJ's scalp with her fingertips while working the thick lather through the long blond strands, and for a while there was no sound except Emily's gentle breathing, and JJ's soft moans of contentment. "So I'm the only person you've ever done this with before," she said at length.

"You're the only one who's stuck around long enough to let me," Emily deflected, blushing.

"No, I'm the only one who you cared enough to offer it to," JJ corrected her. "If they'd known what they were missing… well, I'm glad they were too stupid to know. Their loss is my immeasurable gain."

Rinsing JJ's hair, Emily began working the conditioning treatment through. "Your hair is gonna be so shiny it blinds people," she teased, and JJ grinned, eyes closed. "I hadn't even thought that far ahead. I'm still stuck on how good this feels."

After the conditioner had been left to work, and then rinsed out, Emily helped JJ sit upright and began to blow her hair dry, shaping it into soft waves with a fat rounded brush as she did so. Completely blissed out by all this attention and pampering, JJ let herself drift off. She didn't wake when the hair dryer clicked off, but her eyes fluttered open at the touch of Emily's lips.

"You're so beautiful it hurts a little," Emily said softly.

"Mmm, so are you." JJ kissed her back. "I can't wait until I'm Mrs. Prentiss."

"You wanna take my name?" Emily asked, surprised. "But… then you won't be JJ anymore, you'll be JP."

JJ laughed. "Emily… my middle name is Joy," she said, with a "duh" tone in her voice. "I'm always going to be JJ, and now I get to be JJ Prentiss. Is that okay?"

"Yeah, it's okay," Emily said, eyes filling with tears. "It's the best thing I ever heard. Now you can't say you have nothing to offer me, Jay… you've offered your love."

She led JJ through to the bedroom and helped her into bed, where they fell into their usual position, wrapped around each other. "This is nice," JJ sighed, sinking into Emily's embrace. "This is the best I've ever felt."

"Is it weird that I miss Harry?" Emily asked after a while. "I mean… don't get me wrong. Spending time with you is wonderful, and I wouldn't trade it for anything, because I love you. But…"

"But you're a mom now," JJ laughed. "And you miss your little boy. It's okay. I miss him too." She sighed. "Can I ask you something? Had you ever thought about having kids, before him? You're so good with him, it's like… it's like you were made to be his mother. But if he hadn't happened… do you think you would have had kids?"

"I don't know. I don't think so. I mean… unless I got knocked up from a one night stand, there wasn't much chance of it happening. Did I want to be a mother? Yes, absolutely, ever since…" JJ didn't know about Italy, and today wasn't the day to tell her. "Ever since I was a teenager, I've thought about becoming a mother someday. But men didn't see me as the 'mother of their children' type, and now I'm in love with a woman, so I guess Harrison's it for me."

JJ shifted, making sure she was looking Emily in the eye for her next words. "What if… he didn't have to be?" she said carefully.

"What are you saying?" Emily asked, confused.

"We… you and me, we could have a baby," JJ whispered. "I see how you are with him, and I love it, so much. And I've always in the back of my mind wanted a big family. And it might be nice for Harry to have a brother or a sister. And Garcia's pregnant, and it's been making me feel kind of clucky… not that I don't love Harrison to pieces, but I've been thinking about babies…"

"Wow… JJ, that is… a lot to think about," Emily said slowly. "It would mean one of us quitting work, or else hiring full time help, and I know you don't want to use my money if we can help it. And would it be you, or me who… carries the baby? I'd like to, but I don't know if I can. I'm getting older, you know? And I wouldn't ever ask you to do that for me. I don't want to use you as a baby making machine. And is this place even big enough for more kids? I suppose we could get Harry a smaller bed, or bunk beds. And will we be allowed to adopt if we've got a baby in the house, or if I'm pregnant, or if you are? And…"

"Slow down!" JJ giggled, feeling a little giddy. "Emily… all the things you're saying, I'm hearing a lot of 'how can we do this' and not 'should we do this'. Are you saying yes? Do you want to have a baby with me?"

The thought honestly had not crossed Emily's mind until the moment this conversation had begun, but now that it had, it had taken root in her brain and in her heart in a way she knew wasn't going to go away. She bit her lip, and then nodded fervently. "Yeah, I wanna have a baby with you," she said, her voice choked with emotion. "Now right now, but in a few months, maybe, and if I go first, then maybe a year or two after that, you could…"

JJ grinned. "The answer is yes, Emily. Let's… give ourselves a few more months to settle into being moms to Harrison, and then we can think about making babies together."

Wiping her eyes, Emily kissed JJ hard. "I guess this means we really are lesbians," she joked through her happy tears. "Only, we progressed past the U-Haul and moved right on to marriage and babies."

"Well, why wait years, when we know everything is perfect?" JJ said sensibly. "And who knows better than us how short life is?"