(IMPORTANT) Before you read chapter 36, the previous one has been replaced. ^^ Hehe!

Chapter 36: Too Much to Handle

I haven't said a word nor did I glance back at the silly-hearted girl behind me. I honestly cannot fathom the thought of ever loving...oh I don't know. I'm just very confused right now. But I knew avoiding her profound affection was slowly driving me mad. "What in the hell should I do?" I sighed, parking in front of the small police station. "I can't just return those feelings without knowing she won't hurt me like..." My heart tore apart when she came in mind. "Will Alice do that to me?" I shuddered, unlocking the doors as I pictured the sweet, innocent pixie repeating the fiery stunt. The harsh slam of a car door brought me back to reality and out of the corner of my eye, Alice skipped off to the front door without the courtesy of waiting for me. "She won't understand..." I thought, getting out of my car.

"You're both late." said Charlie Swan as soon as we stepped inside his office, which oddly reminded me of Captain Cragen's in Law and Order. Alice apologized before taking her seat in front of his wooden desk. Just when I took my seat next to her, Alice quickly moved her chair a few spaces away from mine. I shook my head. "Is it possible to be that childish?"

"Well..." continued the grumpy police officer also noticing Alice's immaturity, "now that you two are here..." he grunted as he got up from his chair to walk over to an old fashioned television that sat on one of the steel file cabinets,"there's something you must see." He turned it on and then the busted VCR just underneath the television.

Alice drew out a shaky breath when his wretched face appeared on the bright screen. I turned my head to her direction and suddenly the blood beneath my scarred skin froze at the horrified expression on her fairy-like face. "Shit, I'm sorry, Alice..." It broke my heart just seeing her like this. I was tempted to take her in my arms just like I did after warning about her psychotic friend. "That bastard." Her trembling hands gripped the bottom of the borrowed black jacket as her legs fidgeted.

"Alice...: I whispered, my hand slowly reaching out to touch her. She gasped when my fingers lightly grazed her covered arm. "You don't have to see this if you don't want to."

"I'm afraid she has to, Mr. Whitlock." said Charlie. He looked upset himself, standing there next to the television as his hands tossed a remote control to one another. "This is very important."

"Don't touch me." she muttered, just when Charlie played the tape. She shrugged my hand off her and then scooted a little to the left side of her chair. I brought my denied hand back to my lap and pretended she didn't hurt my feelings. "Great! Touchy much, Whitlock?" I frowned while looking back at the screen. The repulsive criminal was sitting in a small gray room, his grimy hands fiddling together on top of an off-white table while a familiar bald man bombarded him with questions. I could hear the slight shakes and trembles from Alice's tiny body at whatever crap was coming out of James' venomous mouth.

"I'm telling you," the monster snarled at the detective, while slamming his fists on the poor table, " I don't know shit!"

"Oh, I believe you do." said the bald man quite calmly. "If you haven't done anything then you wouldn't be this aggressive..." He drew out a hanker chief from his breast pocket and leaned forward to wipe something invisible near James' clammy hands,"and your sweat wouldn't be washing away the white of this lovely table."

The purplish circles under his dark eyes became more evident when James narrowed them as his thick fingers raked through his sandy matted hair.

"Could we skip the "I didn't do it" bullshit so you could tell me who else is behind this little scheme of yours?"

While glaring at the patient detective, James pushed the sleeves of this tattered prison jump-suit past his elbows. The two bulky guards behind him, quickly had their hands on their duty belts just in case James decides to commit a violation. They relaxed when he crossed his arms and leaned back in his seat.

"There's no one else." lied the deceitful beast. "Why can't you people understand that?"

The detective's thick eyebrows raised so high that they almost reached his hairless scalp as his lips twitched into a cunning smile.

"Can you tell me about Monsieur Pontouf's whereabouts?"

"Who the hell are you talking about?" snapped the aggravated criminal, uncrossing his arms and slamming his hands again. The guards took note of his temper but Masri signaled them to not do anything yet. "How is this person relevant to me?"

"I thought I told you to cut the bullshit, Mr. Conner." affirmed Masri, glaring back at James who rolled his dark eyes. "The local grocery store confirmed that you and Pontouf worked together mincing animal by products."

"Oh him." muttered James, his knuckles becoming whiter as they cracked. "He moved back to France to be with his family."

"He moved?" asked Masri, suspicion inflicting in his voice. "When?"

"Two weeks ago. He told me it was urgent. His wife and kids were involved in an accident."

"You sure about that?" Masri questioned with a sly grin. James scratched his rugged chin while nodding his head. "We contacted Mrs. Irina Pontouf in Quebec right after being informed that Laurent mysterious stopped working for the past two weeks. Did you know that he and his wife were divorced for seven years?"

James swore under his breath at the surprising fact.

"You didn't know that, Mr. Conner?" asked the smug bald man. "Besides Pontouf..." he continued, "who else is in on this? And how many are there?"

There was a long pause between the two men until James let out a feral growl and the guards responded by walking to either side of his chair.

"I HAD ENOUGH OF THIS SHIT!" he shouted, roughly knocking the chair back as he stood up. The guards grabbed his arms to prevent him from lunging at the smirking detective. "LET GO OF ME! I'VE DONE NOTHING WRONG! I WANT MY LAWYER!"

Before the fuming bald man could say anything, the bright screen went black. Charlie huffed as he sat behind his desk. Alice and I remained silent but shocked by what we saw. Well...I don't know about her but I knew I really wanted to tear that James Connor apart. Limb from limb. That fucking lying ass mother fucker.

"That was the day after his arrest." Charlie told us, his brows furrowing in deep concentration. "He completely completely caught us off guard with that one."

"That's not fair!" shrieked the outraged Alice Cullen. "He knows he's done it! Why should he have a damn lawyer?"

I turned to the little pixie and the furious look on her adorable face made me want to turn away; Her tousled black hair bristled as her gorgeous brown eyes sparked dangerously with pure hatred. The corners of her pouty pink lips were pulled back, bearing her white teeth, which were surprisingly sharp. Her small hands gripped the arms of the chair, her fingers digging holes into them. I have seen her angry before...but this is just beyond terrifying. Instead of a delicate little fairy, she looked more like a gremlin from hell. I gulped audibly as I kept staring at her. Once she heard it, she bared her teeth at me and then growled. "Wow, She certainly is a frightening little monster." I quickly looked away.

"Why the hell is he getting a lawyer, Charlie?" she hissed. I swear I could hear the wooden arms slowly breaking from her death grip. "How are you letting this happen? That's not fair for me!"

"Trust me, Al." assured Charlie, his forehead creasing with worry as his eyes sympathized with the angry little woman. "We honestly didn't expect that." He sighed while staring down at his desk. "Everyone is allowed a lawyer." His sympathetic eyes narrowed as he brought his stubby fingers to his temples. "Even desperate criminals."

The gremlin stance disappeared when she huffed like a spoiled child denied of her favorite sweets. She crossed her lithe arms as a couple of tears assaulted her delicate pink cheeks. " But he attacked me, Charlie..." she whispered, her voice breaking as her innocent chocolate eyes widened with a mixture of fear, sorrow, and fury. "He tried to hurt me... do something, Charlie..."

I know she didn't want me to lay a finger on her, but right now she needed comfort. My comfort. She needed me. Just me. For the second time, my hand reached out to her and I felt relieved that she didn't deny my condoling touch. She shivered, feeling my fingers lightly grazed the flawless contours of her jaw.

"Don't worry, sweetheart." I told her, an encouraging smile forming on my lips as my fingers marveled at her velvety porcelain skin. "He won't have it that easy. Lawyer or not. You'll see."

She sniffed a couple of times and looked me in the eyes. My heart fluttered the same way it did when we shared our first kiss which later bloomed into something more...our lovemaking. My smile slowly went to a frown, feeling an odd warmth soaring within me. "What am I doing?" I ran my fingers though her choppy hair, almost fighting the urge to bury my face in it and inhale her sweet natural scent. "What is wrong with me?" Her hand gently touched mine which still lingered in her hair. Her innocent eyes searched mine as her frail fingers lightly stroked my calloused skin.

"You both know I'm still here, right?"

Her eyes narrowed again as she roughly threw my hand off her messy hair. I sighed in morose turning back to the confused police chief. He cleared his throat as he straightened up in his seat, his expression switching from confusion to serious.

"Well..." he said, looking from me to Alice. "Since this James character decided to get his way around the bush...I thought of calling in one of Seattle's best lawyers."

"Really?" piped up the wide-eyed little pixie. "A lawyer? For me?"

"Yeah," answered Charlie, grinning at Alice, "if this bastard wants to play..." he leaned forward, his mustache bristling as a creepy but mischievous smile crept on his face, "we mind as well join in on his little game."

I sensed an excited giggle ready to burst out of Alice the minute those words came out of the chief's mouth. Because of her upcoming joy, I couldn't help but smile away.

"Who is it?" asked the once angry little woman, who is now bouncing in anticipation.

"Before I say anything, Alice." he chuckled at how easily amused she is. "Control yourself."

"Okay! Okay!" chirped Alice, still bouncing. "Who is it? Tell me!"

"You never change, do you?" he laughed but abruptly stopped. "Ms. Doherty is not with us today but she promised to be in by tomorrow."

"Great, that means we're going to have to come back." I grunted, but then felt bad for saying that. Alice stopped her happy bouncing to glare daggers at me. I gulped. "Sorry...I mean...why tomorrow? Why not some other day?"

I was getting sick of this whole investigation. I hated people telling me what to do and I especially hated my time being wasted. Why couldn't this Doherty woman be here on time?

"She's pretty occupied with other cases." answered Charlie, taking note of my aggravation. "Sorry but we really need this to be over, that way Alice could be safe again."

I sighed again, deeply hating James more and more. Why couldn't he keep his sick perversions to himself? That way no one would have to drive me insane with drastic directions.

"So...Umm...same time tomorrow?" I stammered, lazily scratching the top of my head as I tried to avoid the pixie's angry glares.

Charlie nodded while standing up."Yea, but try to be a little early this time."

"Sure thing." I promised, also getting to my feet to dismiss myself.

"I'm walking!" yelled Alice as soon as we stepped out of the police station. "And you can't stop me this time!" She jerked her head at the window where Charlie's office was located. I groaned, trying my best to control my upcoming temper. Her childish antics were hitting a bad nerve. It's too much!

"Alice..." I growled, my hands balling into fists by my sides as I glared at the immature little brat, "I swear to-"

"You swear to what?" she taunted me, her haughty lips forming a sneering grin. "Be careful what you say. Charlie will have you arrested..."

Paying no mind to the police station in front of us, I stalked over to her. Fear replaced the mock on her face when I roughly grabbed her upper arms.

"What are you doing?" she shrieked, struggling for her freedom. "Let go of me or I'll scream!"

"Alice, stop it!" I shouted, still not caring if Charlie or any other officer were watching. "Stop!" I tightened my firm hold on her to get her to stop kicking me. "I've had enough of your bullshit!" I shook her, ignoring the adorable way her lip jutted out as her dark pupils dilated with fear. "Damn it, Alice!" I was not going to fall for it. She really needs to act her age.

"Jasper, let go of me...please..." she whimpered, her tiny body trembling. "You're grabbing me too hard."

"I'll loosen my grip, but I won't let go," I told her, giving her one last squeeze, eliciting a small cry from her, "until you swear to end this childish nonsense. It's infuriating!" I loosened my hold as I stared into her eyes. My aggravation slowly went down hill when I saw a great deal of hurt in them. The hurt I unintentionally given her when I couldn't return the love she'd given me. "I'm sorry, Alice..." One of my hands crept up her arm to the side of her scared-stricken face.

"Let's talk somewhere else." I said, softly stroking the gentle blush on her delicate cheek. "Right here is not a good place."

Alice nodded as she chewed on her bottom lip. With a thankful smile, I let her go.

As much as I would love to return home right now...I couldn't. I didn't want to go back where our argument began. La Push beach was close by the police station and I thought it would be the perfect place to settle our problem.

"Why are we here?" asked Alice, her delicate long eyebrows raising in curiosity as she examined the Quileute landscape. "I thought we were heading back to your apartment."

I parked the car behind a massive bush, surrounded by gigantic trees.

"I just thought we could use some quiet time." I answered before getting out of the car. I saw her glowering at me through the car window as she unfastened her seat belt. I walked around the vehicle, my arms shielding my face from the annoying branches. "Come on." I said, opening her door. "Let's walk around for a little while." I held out my hand to her. She gave it an unsure look. "Please..." I urged her, encouraging her to take my awaiting hand.

"Fine." she huffed, her tiny hand settling in my large one. We remained silent as we walked among the damp beige soil. Alice's hand stuffed themselves inside the jacket's pockets while staring ahead into the distance. When we reached the shoreline, Alice created a huge space between us. I sighed to myself remembering she was still upset with me.

"You're not going to let this go, are you?" I asked, looking down at my feet, wondering how on earth I could fix this. God help me...

"I don't know, Jasper." she said, her usual chirpy voice igniting with sorrow. "How do you expect me to let this go?" She drew out a shaky breath and her hands withdrew themselves out of her pockets to her dark hair. "After pouring my heart to you."

Jesus Christ...

"Alice, there's a reason why I can't-" I tried to reason but she cut me off, twirling on the spot to face me. I also turned to look at her and I officially hated how she looked right now; All the strings holding her together snipped off her fragile frame, causing her to look like a broken marionette. Her inky hair was sprawled every from her fidgety hands, her gorgeous brown eyes were red and puffy from all that crying, her bottom lip was slightly swelling from being bitten so much, the fair complexion of her soft skin was as white as a ghost, her thin shoulders hunched over as her lithe arms hugged her chest. I cursed myself for making her look like a damaged little doll. "Fuck me..."

"You can't what?" she snapped, tears falling freely down her gaunt face. "Love me back? Is that so hard for you, Jasper?"

I didn't say anything. All I did was stare at her. She was shamelessly crying in front of me, completely heartbroken and angry. "What should I do?" I asked myself. "What should I say?" I looked away for a quick minute, hoping I could find something worth to say.

"Did I do something wrong, Jasper?" she sobbed. I looked back and I cursed myself for unintentionally harming her. "Tell me! What did I do?"

I brought a shaky hand to my forehead. "What in the hell should I do?" I gulped down the lump in my throat. "How did I end up in this predicament?" My stomach wrenched when her stunningly beautiful face rendered in my head. That conniving smile made my heart turn inside out as I looked back at Alice. "Fuck you, Maria." I clenched my jaw cursing the woman who made it impossible for me to love again. "Fuck, I hate you so much."

"Was sleeping with you a mistake?"

The bitch's face became a blur when I stared at the blameless girl in front of me in utter disbelief. "Why is she bringing that up?"

"Do you regret making love with me, Jasper?" she asked and I looked away again, refusing to endure the anguish written inflicting from her. "Or were you thinking of someone else?"

Oh, for fuck's sakes!

"Alice, no!" I shouted, my face heating up with rage at her nonsense. "Give it a rest!" I ran my fingers through my hair and let out an exasperated breath. "Look..." I began, walking to her, hoping she wouldn't take a step back. I placed both my hands on her frail shoulders and gave them a gentle squeeze. "Alice, look at me."

Alice slowly lifted her head at my command. My heart throbbed painfully at the hurt igniting on her gaunt, but beautiful face. I hate myself for hurting her. I really am.

"Sweetheart..." I whispered, softly caressing her wet cheeks. Her eyes narrowed and her hands grabbed my wrists to free herself from me, but I held her still.

"Don't call me that." she grumbled, her lashes tickling her tear-stained cheeks as I continued caressing them. "Only people in love give each other pet names."

"Stop it." I told her, adding more pressure to my firm hold. "Alice, please hear me out."

She glowered at me and then looked the other way.

"I don't...I repeat... I never regretted sleeping with you." I confessed to her, which made her look back at me. "And also, " I paused, my hands cupping her face to get her to stop moving, "the only person I thought of when I touched you was you." She sniffed a couple of times when I caressed her cheeks again, which were slowly flushing darker than ever. "Only you, darlin'."

"But you didn't feel anything." she said in a tiny whisper as she lowered her eyes from mine. My fingers raked through her choppy dark locks as I took in her melancholy expression, lost for words at the wonderful reminder of the night we became one.

"Alice," I gently lifted her chin up with one finger, "that night, Alice," I paused, rethinking the right words to say without offending her, "I have to admit..." I licked my dry lips, watching her chocolate eyes spark with hope. "it was one of the best nights of my life...but..."

"But?" she urged. She bit her bottom lip as her hopeful eyes looked at me with dread. "Shit..." I drew out an exasperated breath before finishing my last sentence.

"But I'm afraid it was nothing more than just sex." I bowed my head in shame, sensing another wave of sadness overwhelm her small body. "I'm sorry, Alice... I can't do this with you..."

Two small hands pressed themselves against my chest, and pushed me away from the sad little woman.

"Alice, I'm sorry-" Alice held up a hand to stop me from saying anymore.

"Why didn't I listen to them?" she said to herself, shaking her head at me in utter dislike.

"Let me explain-"

"No!" she shouted, salty water streamed down her flaming cheeks as her blotchy eyes pierced a hole through my chest. "Shut up! Just shut up!"

"Alice, there's a reason why I said that!" I shouted back, trying to step closer to her but she pushed me away. "Let me explain!"

"You've said enough!" she pushed me again and I made no more attempts to tower over her. "How could I be so stupid?" she asked herself, smacking a hand to her forehead. "All that sexual tension...all those advances I had towards you...I let you touch me..." her voice broke and soon enough, her pixie-like face crumbled in despair. "I honestly thought you...oh god.."

Oh Christ, I hate it when she cries...

"Please don't be like this, Alice." I said, taking a few steps towards her, my hand reaching out to touch her. "You know it wasn't my intention to hurt you."

"Oh, shove it up your ass, Whitlock!" she snarled, wiping the tears from her flushed cheeks. "You knew exactly what you were in for when I gave myself to you!"

"Alice, let me explain..." I repeated only to be interrupted again.

"You already did!" she shouted, marching up to me to shove me. "You just admitted that sex is all you'll ever need from me." I was dumbstruck as I let her shove me once again. I felt horrible. "You're such an asshole! Is that what I am to you? You're fucking easy whore?"

That's it.

"ALICE!" I yelled, desperate to have say in this. "Please! You're not giving me a chance here!"

"I've given you enough chances already when I first met you!" she yelled, stomping her tiny foot on the damp sand. Her arms crossed her chest as her head bowed to avoid my confused-stricken face. "I didn't even care if you hated me...or man-handled me..." she took a deep breath before daring herself to look at me. "I only cared about being with you."

The blood boiling in my body turned cold when I remembered the horrible times I used to make her life a living hell just for laying eyes on my goddamn "imperfection". I hated her because I feared she would mock me with either her family or anyone else. "How manly was I back then?" Always calling her names, laying a finger on her when she tries to get too close to me, and even ignoring the sincere looks she would throw at me around her family. "I was a fucking dick." But it was the only way I could keep myself from being ridiculed and hurt. "I need help."

"You don't want that." I told her, denying her sweet, heartfelt words. "You don't want me, Alice. Trust me on that."

"I did want it!" she shouted, her bottom lip quivering as if she were about to cry again. "I wanted you, Jazz."

"Oh, god." I sighed, my hand scratching the back of my neck. "Don't kid yourself."

"I would sometimes ask Rosalie why you are the way you are." she continued, her chocolate orbs boring into mine. "She told me the same exact thing you confessed to me a while back when we started to bond."

I kept my mouth shut as painful memories from seven years ago, played over and over again in my head. My healed wounds tingled, remembering the hot flickering flames consuming me.

"I thought I could make you feel safe again after what that bitch did to you." She smiled a little as a single tear leaked out from her bright eyes. "I was hoping you'd give me a chance to love you."

I looked in her innocent brown eyes, and saw sincerity in them. I found my voice again when she stopped talking.

"I've been in love once, Alice," I admitted, "and it turned out to be a total disaster." My throat went dry as my heart crumbled to tiny little pieces. "After seven years of having to deal with that kind of hell," My chest started to tighten, making me suffocate, "I just don't think I'm ready for anything else."

A look of realization dawned on Alice's elfin face. I felt completely bare and vulnerable from having to confess everything to her.

"You think I'll hurt you, don't you?" she said, pouting her lower lip as she took a step forward. "Is that why you're denying yourself to me?"

"I can't do this with you." I told her, gently grabbing her by her shoulders for the hundredth time. "I appreciate everything you've done for me, but I can't love you as much as you do for me." Instead of shoving me away, her small hands covered my large ones, which were still massaging her frail shoulders.

"I'm not Maria, Jasper." she said to me, making me cringe at the horrible memory behind that name. "You know I'll never hurt you."

My hands moved from under hers and crept up to the soft flesh of her face. "I still don't think I'm ready for another relationship." My thumbs grazed the rosy patch forming on her delicate cheeks. "I take back everything I ever did to you." A nervous smile played on her lush lips. "The constant name-calling," one hand brushed a stray dark hair away from her left eye, "the shameful ways I maltreated you," I placed a chaste kiss on her forehead, making her hands fly to my wrists, "and especially stealing something extremely precious from you." I kissed the light blush on her cheek and she shivered. "I'm very sorry, Alice."

I pulled back to find her staring at me with one of the most cutest pout I have ever seen her do. I could almost feel my heart breaking in half.

"Please don't do that." I begged her. My hands settled back on her shoulders as her eyes widened adorably. "You're going to kill me."

She didn't listen and it had me worried. "She's not going to cry again? Is she?"

"Alice?"

"So what do we do now?" she asked, still pouting adorably at me her gentle brown eyes filled with defeat but understanding. "Now after we've talked this over?"

I shrugged, withdrawing my hands away from her and taking a step back. She frowned at that.

"I honestly don't know." I admitted, feeling stupid for not thinking about the aftermath of our brief conversation. "What do you think we should do?" I looked down at her, curious and impatient. Just when she was about to open her mouth, a low grumble appeared out of the blue. She apologized with a small smile and her hands covered her stomach through the borrowed black jacket.

"How about we handle that part after we have lunch." I suggested, deciding whether or not to chuckle right after our disturbing conversation.

Things will get partly bad and heavy but it's for the best. I almost forgot he never apologized for what he did to her back then. Jeez... What's wrong with me? :/

:) Thank you

Pontouf was the first thing that came in mind as Laurent's last name. I couldn't resist it! Watching Chocolat over and over again, had a bad influence on me. I can't help it! That movie is delicious! It makes hungry! All that chocolate! And Johnny Depp! (Calms down)) And yea... watching re-runs of Law and Order SVU did help this chapter a little. Hehe!

And FYI, like I said before...this story isn't close to the finish line. I have so many things planned. :)