A/N: Here's this for y'all - there's some fresh scenes in here. I really like it because it goes into imprinting in more detail, from Jacob's point of view so I feel like we really geto see it. There are so many fics that explore the universe of alternate realities but none really who just say it how it is - that what happens, happens and there's no way to change any of it once it has. That's what soul mates are, after all.

Anyway, here's this, and please stop by and vote, if you haven't already, for The Sweetest Girl over at the SOB Contest! Here's the link: fanfiction(dot)net/~sortofbeautifulchallenge

Disclaimer: I don't own the lyrics even though I love the song and wish I had written it myself - Youtube it, y'all, it's awesomeness.

Explaining God

where can i begin?
has anyone ever told you, you have beautiful skin?
you're more than welcome
what do you desire within?

- goodie mob, beautiful skin

-

Things changed after that. Not a lot - not big, life-altering differences but things were definitely not the same as before. In a good way. Most of the bad shit seemed to like . . . float away. I thought life with Nessie before was perfect but now it was just unbelievable.

Nessie seemed to have . . . grown up a lot, especially when it came to our . . . alone-time, if you know what I mean. She had matured. She would tell me when she needed to stop so she wouldn't become overly frustrated. When she needed a break. It was great to know she wouldn't let me push her too far so that made me less self-conscious and just made our relationship so much better.

I never lied to Nessie - we were always honest - but there was just this new kind of honesty that was really awesome. Nessie asked me stuff she never had before, little questions and things that seemed like they meant more to her than they did to me.

We talked about big stuff too. Stuff that we hadn't before because we were just being together - but now we were engaged and it was clear that we were going to get married one day and all these issues kept coming up.

Like when Nessie asked me about my perfect life. I think it just started off as one of her questions but we ended up talking about . . . children. And Nessie's anxiety that she wouldn't be able to have them. It was so strange and amazing and heartbreaking and beautiful at the same time.

It was strange because we'd never discussed anything like that before - I never knew Nessie thought about our future like that - strange because although I knew Nessie was grown, it made me realize that she was pretty much a woman now. A fully-matured, engaged woman who . . . one day wanted to have a baby. My baby.

That unlocked something very strong and primal inside me, along with my overpowering love for her.

And it was beautiful because for a second, I could picture it: Nessie, her belly rounded and beautiful - not like Bella's had been, my baby wouldn't do that to her. I knew it. I imagined myself kissing her stomach, knowing that inside of her was a little piece of both of us.

And it was sad because I could feel Nessie's anxiety, her fear that she wouldn't be able to have a baby. For me - those were the words she used. For you, Jacob.

Even if she couldn't, I wouldn't care. I only wanted her - but I could tell that her sadness wasn't only for me. Nessie wanted one too. I couldn't wait until the day Nessie was my wife, until the day I could watch her cradle our child in her arms.

But until then, I was more than content with just my Ness.

She asked me about Bella too, which was hard for me but apparently not for Nessie. It seemed so foreign, this weird, fucked-up Jacob who loved anyone except Nessie. I didn't like him and I didn't like talking about him.

But she asked me about my Mom and Billy too, and I told her stories about me and my sisters and the trouble we used to get into. It was nice and Nessie seemed to like them - but the light stuff always led into the serious stuff, which was okay. I liked talking about that stuff with Nessie too.

She asked me about when my feelings for her started to change and was really surprised about the answer, which was kind of cute. She only tried, once, to compare herself with her mother and I shot that down.

"But what if - what if - say, for instance, Mom had never met Dad - or never married him or whatever, you would have just loved her and married her, right?"

"No!" I remember taking a deep breath and trying to collect my thoughts. How did you explain destiny? "Nessie, honey, if . . . if you had never been born - and you have to keep in mind that I don't think I'd even exist in a world where you weren't destined to be born - I never would have felt like that about Bella. I'm one hundred-percent sure the only reasons those feelings existed were to lead me to you."

"But - " I wouldn't cut Nessie off. I wanted to assuage all of her doubts - until they were all gone. "But what if I wasn't born, Jake?"

"But you were, Ness," I told her, kissing her softly. How did you explain fate, destiny - God? "There is no time machine - nothing could have ever gone a different way besides the way it did."

She looked up at me with her huge, beautiful eyes and nodded. "Okay."

"Okay?" I asked, making sure. Nessie nodded, and gently pulled me down for a kiss. She gave my bottom lip a soft lick with her tongue, and I bit back a groan. Not now, Jake. Comfort Nessie. "Are you sure you're okay, Ness? I want you to understand - I'll explain for as long as it takes, honey."

"I understand," she said in a small voice, removing her lips from mine to kiss around my mouth. "I know you love me, Jake. I don't doubt that. I just wondered . . . "

"Don't wonder, Nessie." I closed my eyes for a second and brushed our lips, savoring the connection. "I swear to you the only reason I was ever born was because God knew one day you would be too."

I felt moisture and pulled back to see a single tear running down Nessie's cheek. Her eyes weren't sad though.

"I love you so much, Jacob."

"I love you too, Nessie, honey." I kissed the tear away and thankfully, there were no more. "More than you even know."

"I do know, Jake." Nessie gave a small, tired smile and reached up to tug at a piece of my hair. Her eyes looked tired - it was late. "I do. Can you just . . . hold me?"

Nessie had never asked me like that and it was so good to hear her say it. And of course I had no issues with that, so I rolled over and pulled her into my side. I tried to hold her closer than usual - wrapping the forearm of the arm her head laid on around her back and resting her leg on my thigh so I could hold her around the hips with my free arm and pull her even closer.

That night, we slept better than usual.

Things were still funny too, of course, and Nessie was still deliciously tempting - even when she didn't know it. And one time about a thousand more than others.

I had just got into the shower when I heard the beat of a song I hadn't heard in forever come from the TV in the living room. I hollered at Nessie to keep it, because knowing her taste in music, she'd change it in a heartbeat otherwise, and to turn it up. Which she did - my sweet Ness.

It was a song from like six years back, a Fifty song if I wasn't mistaken. Wasn't exactly clean, but . . . whatever. I realized a couple seconds later that like an idiot, I'd forgot to grab a couple of those tiny bottles of shampoo they give you and I'd already gone a couple days of only washing my hair with water. No need to start stinking. Nessie wouldn't like that.

So I hopped back out of the shower and wrapped a towel around my waist quickly since the door was open, before I went to the sink for the soap. I looked up and the soap fell to the floor.

Nessie.

Nessie was standing in front of the television with - with her shirt tied up around her waist and her jeans were pulled down low on her hips. They had to be because believe me, I had spent a lot of time looking at Nessie's jeans, and they had not been that low.

But it wasn't even the clothes - I might have been able to handle that. I'd seen Nessie's beautiful flat stomach before, after all, although not her back like it was exposed to me now . . . no, it was definitely not clothes.

Nessie was dancing. Not just any regular dancing - Nessie was dancing to a Fifty song. Just a Lil Bit, if you wanted to get specific - and - and I had never even seen something so -

Needless to say, I was instantly hard.

I watched Nessie roll her hips like a pro, the movement carrying up her body all the way to her chest. Nessie arched her back them, making her ass look almost irresistible before she stopped abruptly. I could tell from her pink cheeks that she had embarrassed herself.

I was frozen, watching her decide to try again a second later. I knew I had no right to watch, that Nessie obviously didn't know I was here, but I couldn't tear my eyes away.

Nessie lifted her arms up near her face, stretching her body out, and rolled her entire body again - much better this time. I think she lost some of her inhibition because she started dancing then and I was lost - I didn't even think about returning to the shower. And when I did finally return, it was obvious what I would do there.

Nessie rocked her hips and swung them back - it was like the music and dance were made to present me with every perfect angle of her hips and ass. I bit back a moan as Nessie dropped down, having watched enough rap videos to know what was coming, and slowly came back up, her ass arched out towards me.

I just watched, shifting my weight to a more comfortable position, and tried to restrain myself from running over to her and throwing her down on the bed. But when she was almost all the way up, I saw her eyes flit up into the mirror - straight at me - and she froze.,

Her face immediately reddened and she snatched her shirt out of her bra so it covered her again. My poor Ness just stood there, looking humiliated, when she should have been the complete opposite. I was the one that ought to embarrassed.

But I was still speechless.

"Nessie - what - "

"I was just . . . you said - good dance music, so I just - thought I'd - sorry."

"Sorry? She was telling me sorry for giving me what was possible one of the best sights of my life? A fantasy that would definitely be replaying itself in my dreams tonight and more than a few nights thereafter?

She didn't say anything so I knew she must've been really embarrassed. I needed to comfort her but I needed to get some clothes on first. I told her to hold on, swung the bathroom door shut, and pulled on my jeans fast as hell. Cut off the water too - didn't need that anymore.

A few seconds later, I was in front of her.

"Just don't laugh, okay?" She asked in a tiny voice. "I know I'm not any good, I just thought I'd try - "

"Nessie, that was so hot." There were other words I could use, but they'd probably only make Nessie more uncomfortable than she was right now.

"What?"

I walked towards her carefully, slowly, since she looked like a scared little bunny about to scamper off.

"You looked - so good." So goddamn sexy. "I mean, I didn't know you could - "

"I've never done it before." I was happy when Nessie took a small step towards me - she was so close now. "I just remembered what you said about it being good dance music, so I figured this must be the kind of dancing you like . . . so I thought I'd try it."

And try it you did.

God, I needed her lips right now.

"Can I kiss you?"

I hadn't asked her for weeks, but she still looked a little like a bunny and I didn't want to scare her. Never wanted to scare her.

"Of course you - "

That was really all I needed. I was kissing her before she could even finish giving me permission.

"Don't be embarrassed, Nessie," I whispered into her mouth. "Please don't - you're so beautiful."

The pink in Nessie's cheeks lightened a shade as she mumbled, "I just feel stupid."

"Don't." Never. I wrapped my arm around her waist and pulled her body against mine. "You'll have to do that again for me sometime."

It's something I definitely need to see again to survive. And I'm not exaggerating.

"You want me to dance for you?" Nessie's eyes were torn between desire and shyness. I realized how my words must have sounded.

"Or with me." I kissed her again. Silly Nessie. I tried not to think about dancing with her like that. "You make it sound like I'm going to be flinging dollar bills at you. I just want a chance to see that again."

"How about after I get some practice?"

Could that be something I could possibly watch? I asked and Nessie laughed.

"Come here, you dumb dog." Ouch, baby. I stopped caring when she pulled me back down to her mouth.

A minute later we were on the bed. I lifted Nessie's thigh and rested it over my hip, sliding my hand back to cup her round ass. It was okay to do that now - and I couldn't say in all honesty that I passed up many chances to.

I knew we needed to get going, make some ground - get some space between us and the bloodsucker even though we had a day's head start, but - it was just so good. Nessie slid her hands down my bare back and whimpered when I held her a little harder. She sighed my name.

Yeah, we weren't getting on the road for a while.

When we finally did, it was way later than usual but it was cool. Nessie started to tone it down and I knew that was her signal she was too worked up. She was getting so good about that lately.

Nessie's limits seemed to be under the clothes and straddling my hips. Every time my fingers would stray to play across her breasts under her shirt or we started making out with her in my lap, it was never long before Nessie pulled away with her cheeks pink and an apologetic look in her eyes. I didn't mind - I loved that she was being so honest.

But for me, it was harder to have her under me. She was so much closer that way and I felt so . . . dominant and in control and that unlocked the wolf and the alpha and - it was just harder. The feeling of her legs wrapped tight around me - that seemed to be another limit for me too. And when I say limits, I don't mean those weren't things we didn't do - they just pushed us to our breaking point a lot faster, which meant I had to say goodbye to Nessie's softness a lot sooner.

I tried to avoid Nessie's limits altogether since I didn't want to make things any harder for her. I only touched her over her clothes and even though it was harder for me, I made sure I was usually on top when we kissed.

It was weird that it was harder for Nessie to be on top because she'd told me once - blushing, of course - that she liked it better when I laid over her. Maybe she just didn't trust herself with the control, which was fine - if she didn't want it, I'd take it from her. If she wanted it, I'd give it to her.

And of course . . . well, any grinding got us both past the limit pretty quick, so we hadn't been doing that as much lately. Until tonight.

I was on top but with my hand up Nessie's shirt - something she had initiated, taking my hand and sliding it up her shirt, looking sexy as hell. Saying, "You know you can touch me, Jake. It's okay."

I guess she'd noticed my hesitancy lately.

Nessie's arms were wrapped around my shoulders and her legs were around my waist. We were kissing pretty hard, our breathing starting to get heavy and I was waiting for Nessie's signal. For her kisses to begin to soften under my mouth, for her body to relax. I was still pretty okay, so I was content to keep on with this.

Then Nessie wrapped her legs tighter around my hips, pulling them down closer to hers, and ground against my hardness. I bit back an expletive.

"Nessie - "

"It's okay, Jake," Nessie panted, but her scent was telling another story. Strong and hot, filling the air around us. "I'm good for another few minutes. Don't stop."

I couldn't deny her when she asked me for anything like that. And little Jake was getting pretty hard to deny too, so I gave in and rubbed myself against her for a few seconds, Nessie's moans only spurring me on.

More than a few minutes passed and I only got hotter and hotter and so did Nessie, to the point where her scent was so strong, I was surprised I couldn't feel it by now. Our movements grew more frantic - Nessie's small sounds louder and my control and sanity smaller and farther as each second passed.

I was so impossibly hard and so impossibly close to forgetting about waiting and marriage and all the rest of it. The rationalization started and I knew that was the beginning of the end - the Nessie wants it too's and the the imprint means we're as good as married anyway's.

I forced my hand out from Nessie's shirt and down to her hips, pulling them down away from mine and back against the bed, Nessie's only complaint being a low whine. Both our hearts were still pounding past what even seemed possible.

I needed to figure this out for my Ness. I had to find a way to help her 'fix her problem'.

I made my decision - Leah ran patrols Saturday mornings, last I knew. If I wasn't mistaken, it was Friday night. Tomorrow, I would go phase.

Coming up:

I felt Leah's mental snort. What, for marriage?

She felt the confirmation in my head and then her thoughts turned incredulous.

Are you serious, man? That's just stupid. You're imprinted! No marriage is gonna . . .

Leah, I thought sternly. That's not what I need advice on.

Okay, okay. I felt her thoughts scramble a little, felt her slow down running a little. Um . . . so you want to . . . get her off, right?